b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 791672 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

A friend of mine is undergoing gender reassignment and plans to spend most of 2011 and thereafter calling herself Mark
Which got me to thinking about what I'd change given the opportunity and unlimited cash. If you changed your sex, would you change your name completely or just take the gender-appropriate version of your own? And what cosmetic surgery, however drastic, would you have if you could afford it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:55, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I used to have my hair cut by a guy who later had the op
and went from Julian to.............. not Julie. He/She became Tasmin as that was the name of his/her car. He looks the same but with tits but drunk guys still pull him then get ridiculed by their mates.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:58, Reply)
fights urge to be politically correct
*fails*

you're whatever you transition to. So she is a she
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:30, Reply)
I dunno
I've definitely seen some "It"s
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:49, Reply)
Yeh, you haven't seen him/her/it

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)
I always thought I'd be better looking as a guy than a girl.
And my name is simple enough to change from the female gender.

Boob job
Tummy tuck
Slight face lift
Batwingectomy
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:59, Reply)
you mean you'd become
big-boy's-shirt?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)
Yup!
I'd be a very handsome guy. I take after my dad and he was a looker in his youth.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that if you have complete facial reconstructive surgery
genetics cease to be of great importance
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
I think we're more imagining
an alternate world where we born in the opposite gender
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)
I would only need a few tweeks of the face.
A stronger jawline and facial hair.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)
I already have the bloody jawline

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)
I reckon I too
would make a better looking man. Strong features and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
You can distribute your breasts
amongst 2 or 3 hundred less fortunate women
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)
Send them my way.
Lord knows I need some bigger norks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)
would if I could

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)
We'll be the judge of that...
*awaits pictures*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:46, Reply)
You forgot
cock transplant
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)
Not sure I want something that I can't control attached to me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:12, Reply)
It's good fun though
Even if it has a mind of its own.

Edit - and I think I'd prefer it to a hole that bleeds every month.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)
Right can you actually
have a cock transplant?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:45, Reply)
they just turn whatever you've got inside out
less messing about connecting nerves and that.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I'd have liposuction
probably get my nose done but that is about it.

As for gender change, I'd definitely call myself Alexander. So close enough. Wouldn't ever do it though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:59, Reply)
Good

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)
good that I plan on liposuction?
charming~
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)
Do you have a particularly flabby nose then?

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)
like a Zeppelin

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Ooo happy candle day!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)
thanks :)
I'm getting a nosejob to celebrate
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)
I was going to do a strikethrough
but it's too obvious.

Although a friend of mine got a blowjob for his 30th birthday. Some slag of a girl he picked up in a pub felt sorry for his lack of birthday sex and put it right.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)
to be fair
I can't get a blowjob until the surgery above is complete
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)
Good point.
You'd just have to give one instead.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:27, Reply)
terribly sorry
to disoblige, but I think your own sex change renders it impossible
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:29, Reply)
I didn't say I was getting one though
I'm quite happy with my current state, thank you.

I'm not that keen on the idea of a cockectomy!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)
Nice to see there's some honour and decency left in the world
Never had a pity-nosh myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)
Good that you'd never have a sex change!
You know damn well that I'm a fan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
Happy candle

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:26, Reply)
Thanks :)

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:27, Reply)
Feeling better today?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)
I think I'd keep Phil
I know lots of girls who call themselves Phil
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)
I don't think I'd fool anyone
regardless of what surgery I had
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)
Women eat croissants too y'know

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:05, Reply)
they're generally not 6'2
and quite broad with a beard
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)
You'd have an awesome career in the circus ahead of you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)
Your beard would go though
if you started on the hormones. And you'd grow tits.

Mind you, large 6'2" women are thin on the ground hereabouts. But maybe you'd get off with it in the Netherlands.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)
Vippers as a woman
www.oldstmaryspa.com/upload/beerded%20lady.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)
Tremendous!

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:22, Reply)
that's my wedding outfit sorted

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)
She/he/it looks like a transvestite Peter Sutcliffe.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:30, Reply)
You've never dated a girl from Canvey Island then

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)
I wouldn't change my sex
and although it might not seem it at first, the masculine version of my pseudonym is Theodore.
As for my other one, I don't like male-K names.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)
I can kind of see the Theodore / Dorothy thing
and henceforth I am going to call you Theodore
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)
Could you prefix every greeting
with "Alvin, Simon..."
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:05, Reply)
Same root, innit
both mean "Gift of God"
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)
Vippers will be off down Deed poll shortly

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
to change my name to "Fuck you Darth Foxtrot you bender"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)
I'd love to see that on your chequebook

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)
Mr Fuck Y D F Y Bender

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)
I plan to upload myself to a ten ton battle mantis combat chasis as soon as I have the money and the technology exists.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Not really an use for pulling though is it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)
I can't imagine anyone resisting me laying my brood in their head so they can eat their way out.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)
I love it when you talk filthy
Oh insectoid overlord.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)
I went out with a girl who went to a gender reassignment clinic as a teen
but she decided against it.
She'd have been bonkers no matter what gender.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Sure
If the technology was good enough to make me into a fully functioning female fitty, then I'd give it a go. I'd be a right lezza slag too.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)
^ this

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)
I would have penis reduction surgery.
I'm fed up with accidentally killing women during the 'act of love'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:26, Reply)
That's your hands choking them, not your cock

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:29, Reply)
Bollocks
I bet the rigor mortis is your favourite part of coitus

Now that, my friends, is how you start a song!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:29, Reply)
No
It's when, nuzzled together in the warm afterglow, I pick their spelling and musical taste to pieces and call them a fucking idiot.

I'm like Mel Gibson, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)
my band had our first review the other day
of our CD.

Fucking awful. Made me laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:39, Reply)
I don't think the cd is particularly characteristic of us as it isn't rocky enough
some of the stuff criticised is stuff I'd thought anyway, and the majority of it is criticising us for basically being the band we've chosen to be.

it also compared us to kings of leon, which isn't something we've striven for.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
Sod reviewers
British Sea Power always get brilliant reviews, and they're shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)
and U2
we're not a serious band by any means, so it was quite amusing to see a review treating us as such.

it's also amusing following the gig we played on saturday where half the crowd came up afterwards and were gushing about how we were going to go far, which I also don't believe.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:45, Reply)
good old 'drunk people'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:46, Reply)
the ale was very cheap
there was another review in the same magazine that said this other band's music was half awesome and half like you were being poked with tiny sticks
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:47, Reply)
they probably write their reviews
with a random word generator.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I'm going to take away the "decent enough pub band" comment
and the fact that we were described as "budding" and ignore the rest.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)
You should firebomb their offices
or post them a poo.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:56, Reply)
our bass player has had several bands reviewed by the same guy in the past
and he has slated all of them, despite his last band being awesome, and winning a fair number of battle of the bands

he's probably got most cause to fire-poo their office
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:58, Reply)
sounds like it
this chap just might have a chip on his shoulder
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:59, Reply)
That's not a chip.
It's a sliver of Vippers' excreta.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)
I thought that
then read the other reviews he'd written, which were rather good hehe

frankly though, I'd probably write a similar review of my band, particularly based on the CD he heard.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)
It's worth keeping in mind that most reviews are essentially about the reviewer.
And how the songs/book/film fits with their own worldview/values.

Alternatively get some oxy-acetylene bottles, long pipes (with spark back arrestors)and a cutting torch with a fine nozzle, and burn the fucker's face off.
(Cave Duck, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)
Haha what a bizarre idea

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)
made me want to listen a bit

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)

listen a bit knock one out
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)
most things do that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:56, Reply)
It's the only chance of there being a stiff one in the bed.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)
I would name myself
Keira Natalie McNohooters

and surgery wise I would like a bigger mouth. Mine's really small.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)
there's no male version of my name
and I'd be just as ugly a man as I am a woman, but wouldn't have proper breasts. So I wouldn't change my gender.
If I could have cosemetic surgery I'd get massive liposuction to remove my tummy, arse, and thighs. That'd be nice.
(I helped save b3ta! ascorbate, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:03, Reply)
Don't look in the new thread
look at Vipros after his sex change!


(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)
My photoshop skillz are for hire!
There are no seams on me!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)
nice work

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Thanks, I have years of experience.
and many awards.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Magnificent and unsettling in equal quantities.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)
You're strangely aroused, aren't you Monty?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I have a 'lazy lob on'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)
I knew it.
I felt the earth tilt ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly in fact, and thought to myself, "Aha! Monty's getting a stonker".
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I had a client when I was a Jobcentre monkey
Who underwent male to female sex change. She still looked like what she was afterwards - a bloke in a dress. It was fucking hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1