Moooooornin
I'm up really early, for some bizarre reason.
So I've taken the opportunity to do some of the chores I'd otherwise have had to do tomorrow before trekking southward to see my lad. (It's been almost three weeks!)
I'm also going to get into work early and that like.

How have you surprised yourself recently?
And please keep your fingers crossed that I do not have to pay for this extra time by being killed in a train-crash or summat
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:16, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

at work
and ultra tired, but it's nice and sunny in this here Cambridge for your arrival.
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:20, Reply)

It had better stay like that
If you've been watching the national news you'll see that parts of Liverpool are 3ft under a monsoon.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:30, Reply)

really?
we had a drop or two of rain last week but thats about it!

oh and to answer your question, and this sounds like the biggest pile of cheesy old bollocks ever but I realised I do really care about and for those who I think are worth it which sneaked up as a surprise a few weeks ago and lately a few friends have told me randomly that I am a good bloke, sort of makes the grind a little bit more bearable
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:33, Reply)

You're a shit bloke
and you smell of fried onion.

;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:35, Reply)

hah
I've been called worse. You can't make the BBQ can you? I will do some fried onions especially for you if you can
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:37, Reply)

Nope I can't
I'm already missing the folks' anniversary by effing off to Sweden the weekend before.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:47, Reply)

hehe no worries

(Halfy By light alone, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:49, Reply)

You are a nice bloke : )
And incredibly house trained.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:03, Reply)

thanks!
I have mass production of bacon and egg sarnies down to a tee after hosting poker nights with me mates!

ps 100!
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Morning! I'm a bit knackered...
I dreamt I was crashing with a b3tan after a bash, but she got drunk and wandered off* and left me and Generic B3tan#1 to roam the streets after the bash.

Could be prophecy for the next bash, so if you're stopping with a b3tan I suggest sticking to them like glue.

*Guess which b3tan it was!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:26, Reply)

BGB!
I intend to stick to my B3tan like glue this weekend.
I'm also hoping not to fall over in any tube stations or get kicked in the face this time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:32, Reply)

Nope!
Let's just say this behaviour was not out of character...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:44, Reply)

Oh I dunno

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:47, Reply)

ok then
I'll do a mouseover
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:53, Reply)

Hahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:05, Reply)

Oh poor Tigger!
He's just saved me from a bee and now he wants to go and enjoy his kill.
I've tried to warn him that the bee is still dangerous even in death and that he can't eat it. He's crying at the door.

(RIP Mr Bee, I only let him pounce because I thought you were a wasp)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:34, Reply)

I had a cat that used to chew wasps
she was fucking well hard.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Tigger does
But bee-stings concern me.
The bee came back to life but I don't want to talk about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

My dog used to be a wasp-killing master!
He would lie at my feet, then suddenly snap at the air, causing two neat halves of a wasp to fall to the floor. He'd then have a nap.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)

keeping fingers crossed for your continual survival
I've surprised myself recently by getting back into the swing of writing large amounts, probably through boredom
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:55, Reply)

Whatever the motivation, I'm glad you've done it
I've done lots of work. My motivation is desperation.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Got too much to do?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:08, Reply)

Evidently!
No but really I have
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:20, Reply)

your bf called me a facist :(
when the revolution comes he'll be the first against the wall
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Face first and legs spread I hope.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:34, Reply)

naturally
while I tell customs officials he was smuggling crack.

And then it'll be the firing squad
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:36, Reply)

I was thinking of a much sexier punishment.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:37, Reply)

would you like to administer it?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I think Roota would prefer to dole out any punishment that is needed in his case.
But if anyone else disses you then I'm your woman.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Nah, you know me BGB
I can take it but I can't dish it out ;)
Be my guest.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:44, Reply)

*rubs hands in glee*

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:53, Reply)

excellent
this gives you a free pass, not unlike your grammar one, but saving you from my apparantly facist new world order
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

I like uniforms *grins*

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I'm a total fascist
Can I be your second in command?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:05, Reply)

The last time I surprised myself was when I was 23 and discovered I like mushrooms.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:06, Reply)

My mate told me I was not a good candidate for mushrooms
So I took his advice.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:07, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:25, Reply)

I love mushrooms
But I've not tried any kind other than the ones you can buy in Tesco.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:11, Reply)

from the little chap who lurks
near the entrance?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:21, Reply)

Er, no.
Just the fruit and veg counter.

I've never in my life taken any sort of illegal drugs or mind bending substances. I just don't fancy the idea. I reckon I'm too much of a control freak. Even experiences with being slightly out of it on prescribed medication gave me the willies!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:25, Reply)

I am talking about legal mushrooms.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:31, Reply)

So was I, originally
They are mighty fine.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:32, Reply)

me too!
that's why I don't even like being drunk very much.

Although having said that it doesn't stop me, I just get filled with guilt and 'uh oh, what did I do' afterwards.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I'm the same
But I definitely do alcohol...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Morning all
I've surprised myself by getting in early this morning. Actually that's not true. I'm usually in early, but last night I was late in getting to sleep so I'm surprised at how fresh I feel after not enough sleep.

In other news, I forgot to take food out of the freezer for tonight. Bugger.

Microwave dinner it is, then.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:10, Reply)

Oh you'll enjoy it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:20, Reply)

Dare say I will
It's food. I like food.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:21, Reply)

Yesterday evening I took Biscuit for a walk along the canal.
It started to rain so we took shelter on a seat under a big tree and was joined by a Scottish guy who reminded me of Jim Carey in Lemony Snicket. We had a lovely chat but Biscuit was a little reticent with him. I don't think she likes Jim Carey look-a-likes.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:28, Reply)

So it was raining...
Soggy biscuit?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Not so much soggy as damp.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Moist.
Far more suggestive!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Biscuit is only a youngster.
I'm not sure I like the idea of her name being bandied about in suggestive conversations.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Which is why
Pissflaps would never be a good name for a dog.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:36, Reply)

I read in the QOTW on pet names that someone had called their cat Taxi
so they could shout it at the bottom of the garden at night times. I lolled for days about that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)

How is Biscuit in general?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

She's my little pot of valium on legs.
She's doing ok. Mithering poor Benji to death.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Aw, she sounds like me
Yapping and mithering
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Mithering is a new word to me
Could someone define it please?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:59, Reply)

It means bothering.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Ah, OK
Thanks.

*makes note*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

It's a northern thing
I had no idea what it meant until recently.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)

pronounced mythering

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Nothing better than getting up early
and not feeling tired. Especially on a sunny morning. You feel.... oooh 18 times smugger than everyone else.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

With the possible exception of Vipros
Who has the patent rights to smugness, it would appear.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I've been getting up at 6am every day recently
so I have enough time to do some college work and maybe some sewing before my real work. I'm surprised that I'm actually able to do this without becoming a total zombie by 9pm.

I have a bit of a dilemma Roota-ta-ta. One of the girls in my pole class is the whingiest bint ever. She complains about everything we do and does stupid things like wrapping a towel around her arm so she won't get pole burn, but that prevents her from being able to do the move, which she then complains about. Last night I had them all trying a new move that involved me holding them while they did it because it's a bit scary, but when I did it with her she literally screamed and threw her arms around my neck and then just let go of the pole! Then she spent the rest of the evening bitching at me about it. I don't want to tell her to quit because it should be up to her if she doesn't want to do it anymore, but she's doing my bloody head in!! What would you do, aunty Roota?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Cunt her in the fuck.
Seriously - Just have a quiet chat with her and ask her if pole-dancing is right for her.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)

I thought about that
but then I was worried about singling her out and making her feel bad, I don't want her thinking I don't want her in the class because she's rubbish.

But then I shouldn't worry about making her feel bad as she's quite selfish and doesn't care how she treats other people, she was proper narky with me last night like I'd personally inflicted injury on her. She's on my facebook and she writes things like "didn't have fun in pole class tonight", which I think is a bit insensitive.

EDIT: This is her current status: "has horrible painful bruised legs - i never want to do that again - EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)

She sounds like a silly cow.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)

yup!
it's like going running and then stopping as soon as soon as you get the tiniest bit out of breath.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Hmmm well I like Roota's thoughts on it. They sound sensible.
She sounds really attention seeking IMHO. There's no point doing something like poledancing when you know it requires muscle use if you're going to make the instructor feel bad.
on an aside - I've been thinking about picking up dance classes next year. Mainly cos I think it'd be fun to get fit like that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:27, Reply)

It is really good fun
any kind of dance is entertaining, especially stuff like street dance that's rock hard because you get really fit without noticing it. I find the hour flies by and you realise at the end that you're proper knackered but you haven't noticed getting knackered, unlike the gym where it's painfully noticeable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:39, Reply)

See I absolutely Loathe gyms.
All the fit obsessed people seem to be there and I just feel like a loser trying to use the exercise bikes when I fall off them trying to get *on* them in the first place.
I have the worst coordination in the world but I think dancing might improve that!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you go running?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:07, Reply)

It's what I'd do

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

No.
You keep going until you drop.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I mean like after running for a minute and thinking "ooh this is making my heart rate increase, I think I'll stop now"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

If she's THAT much of a whinger
she'd probably demand a refund for all her previous classes if you told her to quit.
But like BGB says, there are ways of getting someone to do something.
Ask her lots of questions like "Is this harder than you expected?" and "Do you think your confidence is improving or are you still very nervous?" and if she doesn't take the hint, tell her you have to think about the other girls in the class, and their progress, and the amount of attention they deserve while you're caught up with her concerns and delays. If she still doesn't comply, tell her you CAN'T give her disproportionate consideration any more and that she HAS to improve her ability to muck in, or maybe it's time to think about something more gentle. Like fucking aqua-aerobics or summat.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)

that's an idea, I might just continually ask her if she's still enjoying it and when she says no
I can say she shouldn't do it if it's not fun because that's the point behind it. The other girls are going through exactly the same pain as her they just take it in their stride.

She says she doesn't want to do the move we were doing last night ever again, but we're going to be doing it repeatedly for the next few weeks until they can do it by themselves so if she doesn't do it she's not going to be able to participate in the class anyway.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Another thing is, tell her it's not going to change
Show her some of your bruises or tell her about some of your recent injuries. Tell her that's just how it is with pole, that it's not likely to kill her, but that there will be ouches, and if she's not happy about that maybe it's not right for her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)

this exactly.
No sport is injury or risk free.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:28, Reply)

your wisdom has no bounds

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Mornin luv
Is that a compliment or sarcasm?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)

compliment
you gave some sound advice there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)

:D
Ta la
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I've tried that one
every week I say "it'll only get worse from here" and "pole hurts, you have to deal with it" and then yesterday I said stuff like "you think that's pain? Wait til you do this" and then did a mad painful move. She just scowled at me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Thyen it might be time to just ignore her or tut when she starts, until she complains about it
Then tell her to GET OUT MY FUCKIN CLASS, YA PUSSY!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:45, Reply)

haha yeah I should become a drill sergeant teacher
I say stuff like "just get over it" to the others and they do, but she just always argues with me. God I hate her! I hate the unnecessary amount of exclamation marks she puts in her facebook statuses.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:49, Reply)

It's applebite isn't it?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

yeah....don't tell her.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:51, Reply)

don't have to, she searches her own username,
she'll find this.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:51, Reply)

she's not you

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

If you pass a building site on the way home
See if you can grab a good piece of scaffold, about a foot long is best. If you like, when you get home you can personalise it a bit, maybe write your name in nail varnish on it, but use your best hand writing.

At the next lesson, when this vapid bint starts beakering again, take out your length of decorated pipe and slam it into the back of her knees. Watch some videos of riot police in action if you want to know the best swinging technique (don't want to pull a muscle in your arm).

When she's on the floor, probably crying and looking surprised, slam that pole right on her quim and shout "The Pole does not tolerate pussies!".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Haha this is definitely the way to go!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:59, Reply)

'I like this'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:04, Reply)

hahah
bow down before the awesome power of the Pole!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Capitalise the 'T' of The Pole
It makes it more foreboding.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I reckon there might be something keeping her there, but she doesn't want to be.
For example, the thought that "I'm a pretty exotic pole dancer, dudes dig that", "My ma/sister/friends always see me quitting things, don't wanna quit this 'cus they'll rip it out of me" or "Oh gee oh gosh, that Kitty O'Hara is so swell, I wonder if she's up for a bit of strange. I wonder what her skin would look like on my wall".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:47, Reply)

haha excellent.
I think she does like the idea of pole and she's very good at the slutty stuff like the body rolling and hip swivelling, but when it comes to the actual gymnastic stuff that's when she kicks off. She comes with a friend who is a friend of mine as well so maybe I can get her to have a quiet word. Otherwise I'll have to have some really loud words.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Don't do the loud words thing, 'cus the rest of the class will be "WTF? This ain't tthe army, this isn't what I signed up for".
A quiet one would be the best way to go, act a bit of sympathy, and try to lay down a little bit of the old "It's not fair on the other people" guilt trip.

Do you have different levels of dificaulty with your classes? If so, you could bump her down one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Not yet, I only have a few classes and they're all beginners so they're progressing at the same time
except her. When I get more classes I'll probably do different levels and then just keep her behind, but until then I'm a bit stuck with her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)