I am fucking FURIOUS this morning (for a change).
Three days ago I told my ex I was a little concerned about our kid’s op because my mother and sister are allergic to general anaesthetic – she sneered at me, telling me there was no cause for concern and talking to me as if I had Downs. As I get into the overground part of my tube journey this morning I get a barrage of increasingly abusive calls and texts: basically I was right to be concerned, the anaesthetist wanted more information about it and it was my fault that my sister is on a shift in her police work and is therefore not available by mobile, and my mother’s away in Cornwall with the theatre and is similarly not available on the phone.

I’ve been called a shit dad, that my attempts to make these last-minute calls are ‘half-hearted’, that apparently I’d forgotten the op was today and only wished her well when I was reminded about it, that I’m a cunt (fair enough, that bit is true) and have been forced to endure a whole torrent of abuse and character assassination when I’ve done fuck all wrong. I’m now livid, my morning’s fucking ruined and the worries I’ve had all week about this op may be well-founded.

Great, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:36, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

that psycho bitch
she needs sorting the fuck out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I was thinking similar, only
sorting taking
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I volunteer my services.
How would you like it done, Monty m'dear? Shall I string her to a tree by her intestines like the Greens did in Russia during the revolution? Throw books at her and put her into a black room for days on end? Stab her? shoot her? The choice is your m'man, and because it's you, I'll wipe my charge of $999.99 and do it for a fiver.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

one side of a story is not enough to make a judgement
sounds to me like his ex is probably frustrated, first of all because she's worried that the general anaesthetic thing might complicate the procedure, which will already have her pretty stressed out, and because he can't get hold of the people he needs to before the operation.
From her point of view, if you didn't contact her before she contacted you today, I don't think you can blame her for assuming that you forgot.

I'm not saying she's not a psycho bitch from hell, she may well be, but she's your daughter's main carer, and it's down to you to prove yourself, not to her, but certainly to your daughter.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I think you should read the whole background
before you start mouthing off like a cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I'm not mouthing off, and I don't know any of the background
I'm just saying that there are two sides to every story
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

But if you knew the background
then you would be perfectly aware that this kind of behaviour from Monty's ex is pretty common. And you are mouthing off and you are coming across like a cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

And for once I agree with Al.
No offence mate, but you did come across like a huge twat. You sound like you were trying to take everything into account, but it's very easy to find out that Monty's ex is a cunt of the highest order.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

so I am supposed to read everything everyone posts and know everyone really well before I comment?
Ok.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

no mate, you're just supposed to think before you post.
and try not to get riled up.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I'm not riled up at all
I've just been called a cunt and a twat for trying to see the other side of the story.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

that's not why

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

it's because I didn't know the back story
and tried to see the woman's perspective?

Really wish I'd kept my mouth shut
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

so does everyone else Bert

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Who's Bert?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Nice try Bert

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I just did a search
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=bert

and I'm still none the wiser, who or what is Bert?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

it's because you were judgemental.
we haven't had the other side of the story from the horse's mouth, so you have a small point, but at least the rest of us are familiar with the repeated examples of this sort of behaviour, we know how much Monty dotes on his daughter and how she is the most important thing to him.

I'm not saying you should go and read the full back story, but that you should refrain from wading in with such a strong statement of opinion
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

where was the strong statement of opinion?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

the following seemed strong to me
"From her point of view, if you didn't contact her before she contacted you today, I don't think you can blame her for assuming that you forgot.

I'm not saying she's not a psycho bitch from hell, she may well be, but she's your daughter's main carer, and it's down to you to prove yourself, not to her, but certainly to your daughter."

but you are just arguing semantics now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I take your point, the last bit's a tad strong and I retract that bit
the rest of the post I was only trying to see the other person's point of view though
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

BORING NOW !!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

that is understandable
no harm done
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Oh Vipros
I know I sometimes fail at this myself, but try not to get involved in arguing on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I'm not arguing as much as trying to explain why others are
if people are going to argue I at least want them arguing about the same thing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

you started it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

No your mum started it.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Awwwwwwwwww
that's really terrible, to be called a cunt on b3ta is so out of the ordinary.

Run along Bert.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Al.........
you're a cunt.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I think that should go on the profile.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

it's like my own little star in Hollywood

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

no, but when something is clearly sensitive
and you don't know the background then it's advisable not to just deliver an opinion.

For a start his warning isn't last minute, he informed his ex of the situation 3 days ago, which is shortly after the operation was arranged.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I'm really not
you're the one flinging swear words around.

Am I supposed to read every post on the board before I reply? I saw a post, I called it like I saw it. I'm sure Monty's an alright bloke, but taking that post at face value I could see that there might be another side to it.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Shut up Bert

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I like this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Oh of course
I knew it was a second account for someone.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I hadn't actually thought it was Bert
I just like the meme
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

nor did I pretty sure Zozimus
is Bert though. Every dildo will acquire the mantle Bert.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Shut up Chompy

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Hi Bert

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Hi Al!
Missed you loads.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Hi person I don't know
I haven't been here during your short, but no doubt stella career so far.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I haven't noticed them doing anything until yesterday
and I'm not sure I read any of it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I called him out as Bert t'other day i think he is playing
I am still in two minds but I like this incarnation nonetheless
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

who, how and why is everyone Bert?!

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Bert Monkeysex - controversial, quite annoying
he canned the account with that name the other day but is apparently still posting on QOTW under another name. It's only a matter of time before he is back on here and until then anyone who is seen to be acting like a bit of a dick is probably going to get called Bert.

BobbyPires in particular will be doing this as Bert kept accusing him of being someone else.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Oh, I see
Shut up Bert
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

that's the spirit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I'm fairly sure you mean 'stellar'
cunt :)
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I'm fairly certain I didn't
I'm implying his career is like a can of wifebeater. Unpleasant and with unfortunate after effects.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

and worst of all
Belgian
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I noticed
Don't worry, you haven't missed much.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

morning fella how goes it?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Tip-top squire!
How's the tooth?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

tooth is gone
however the carnage that is the excavation site is fucking sore and my face is swollen to hell. I haven't eaten since monday night and living off smoothies.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

oh god. Wisdoms?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

yup it sucks, have you had them done?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Yup.
had all four ripped out at once last year. I got a GA for it mainly because I hate needles and stuff like that and talked to the surgeon dude and he said it would be better if I was out.
My face looked like a chipmunk for 2 weeks. Then I got an abscess. :(
I was not happy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Oh God poor you
plus I am now shitting it. I thought I would be healed by now. I wish I was Wolverine.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

yes but if someone is going to say such things about an ex..
and the rest of the community reacts in a manner that suggests that the ex really IS a psycho witch, then surely it makes you question your position?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I don't really have a position
I saw somebody call somebody else's ex a psycho bitch when it seemed to me she may just have been worried about their daughter, that's all
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Go away Bert

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

^this the antipodean is correct!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Nah it's not that Poppet
Sometimes boards are cliquey, so she could have been a nice girl who we've all started calling a psycho because we're in the Monty fan club.
Everyone else's reaction is not enough for Ectomy to use as a barometer, but anyway, chill out. Ectomy's looking for a reaction and everyone's given him it.

And for the record, Monty's ex IS BONKERS.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I don't think Ectomy was even looking for a reaction,
and I think this entire reaction is a bit weird, he didn't say anything that bad, I doubt he offended monty much if at all.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I agree lad
Maybe it's just cos everyone reckons it's Bert. I dunno.
I'm scared.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I think al just woke up on the wrong side of bed today.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I don't know who you are, but thanks for being a reasonable sort
I found it pretty weird too, Monty's clearly an alright bloke, but I think the others are just bored and spoiling for an argument
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Also, certain members are sacred
Please don't get personal with them.
They're great people and totally capable of defending themselves, but we get a bit threatened if you don't take our word as law and have the audacity to criticise them when we like them so much and know how great they are.
You can, however, say what you like about anyone new, BobbyPires and Darth Foxtrot.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

+ roota

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Shhh!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Ok, cheers
I didn't think I was getting personal or criticising anyone, but I won't be commenting on anything again until I've seen the popular opinion on it first.

So if I said that BobbyPires and Darth Foxtrot were a pair of shirt lifting mum-touchers, that would be ok?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

the way you had worded it was a bit unfortunate
and did come across as a bit personal without knowing more.

Seems like that wasn't intentional though.

More than ok, it'd be a very astute and accurate observation.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Spot on
You'd get laughed at for trying to fit in and follow the herd.
But it's better than being called a cunt, right?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)

out of curiousity when does my Newbie tag get taken away?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

hard to say
Darth has been considered one for longer than normal because he is such a sensitive, needy butt-buccaneer.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

fair enough
I am not sensitive so do your worst you internet dwellers.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

When we get bored of it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

You don't know who I AM????
I take everything back you're a cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I've seen you on /talk!
I think we may have even conversed once or twice!
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Yeh', that's pretty much what I was thinking.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Yes I'm flinging the word cunt at you
because that is how you are coming across. If you don't like seeing the word cunt written on your screen, then you shouldn't be on b3ta.

It's not about reading every post, but in this situation, where there is clearly a back story which most of the people here are aware of, it would make sense to find this out, even just by asking now, before shooting your mouth off in a way clearly set out to cause annoyance.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

now then, he may not have meant to cause annoyance.
he just managed it anyway.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

^ this ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

:-(
Man, that really sucks.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Shezilla needs stopping.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

have you seen a family lawyer?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

The only reason I have 3hrs a week guaranteed access
is through taking her to court at a cost of six grand. Without that I'd be entirely at the mercy of her whims - it's bad enough as it is.

I simply cannot afford to take her back to court.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

hmmmm
would you qualify for community legal funding? or could you visit a pro-bono clinic for some ideas as to throw at her? my firm runs one in blackfriars, for example?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

There you go
promoting yourself again. You really are a terrible egotist.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

oi
i don't do the pro-bono clinic AND i don't do family law. AND if he doesn't live locally he would have to find a local one. honestly, you're always with the criticism and the making me cry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Oh no don't cry!
You'll get your breasts all salty.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

yeah yeah like you don't spend every night
and some early mornings wanking yourself stupid over the thought of getting my breasts all salty.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Yes, but not from your tears
Or at least your tears normally come from being shot in the eye. And the desolation you feel when I zip up my trousers and leave without saying goodbye leaving you with your mascara running down your face while you try and drown your sorrows with cheap white wine.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

how dare you
i would NEVER drink cheap white wine. never.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Sorry
a fine glass of chilled Chablis.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

i prefer pink sancerre actually
but chablis will do if it is all you have
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

... looking like The Joker

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I earn too much.
My previous experience of the legal process has taught me that as I am only the dad, I don't count for shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Sad but true

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

If I owed a pro-bono clinic I'd have the catchphrase of "U2 can have good legal advice, as we're pro-bono".
or something along those lines.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

genius

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

on what grounds is she stopping you from seeing her?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

She's not stopping me, generally,
but chops and changes the arrangement all the fucking time. If I took her to court over this, they'd simply tell her off, and make her promise to honour the agreement. This would cost about £800.

Totally fucking pointless.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

that's really shit, sorry to hear that
and apologies for any offence caused up there^^

I seem to have annoyed quite a few people just by trying to take a reasonable and balanced approach to your post
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Don't worry about it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Don't let him off like that
he's basically come in here and said that David Bowie is a better father than you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

he is right though
you didn't grace your child with a name like Zowie
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Six grand seems awfully steep
Can you not get social services involved on account of her being a total fucking psycho? And surely if money is that tight you should qualify for legal aid to take her back to court if need be?
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

It took months and months and two court appearances.
My salary's too high for legal aid, unfortunately. They don't take into account that about a grand a month vanishes for mortgage and not far off another one goes in loans, travel, maintenance etc leaving me with less than nothing...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I watched The Human Centipede this morning
If I find a crazy german surgeon and a japanese tourist, would you like me to arrange for her to be the second part of the chain?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

is it as horrible as it looks?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

No it's a fucking terrible film
but the idea of it is really unsettling and disturbing.

But the film is not graphic at all and the story line is dreadful, as is the acting.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

may skip it then
Was curious but sounds dull. Cheers Al
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

The scene when the lead guy shits
is just him going "I'm so sorry, I'm going to shit" and then looking upset while the woman behind him squeals and makes sad and upset eyes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

right I may watch it now for comedy

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

It's like she is actually trying to make me so upset and angry
that I punch her teeth in. She is very nearly there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Here are some words of wisdom that might help
www.b3ta.com/talk/6912735
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

ha, cheers for that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

That was tremendously annoying on a small touchscreen phone
Well done.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Not my work,
it was friz, who is funny sometimes.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I'd been distracted by having to work and had forgotten I'd clicked it
So it was quite the WTF moment.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I ain't excusing this, not in the slightest, but what I think happened, and I don't really know so I could totally be wrong here.
Is that a lot of people can't bring themselves to terms that they may have done bad, so lash out at someone else. She was probably like "Naw, it's cool, he'll be fine, my little babe will be perfectly alright no matter what. That [your name] is being silly 'cus he is a worrier, doesn't really matter", but then when the big day comes and the ex speaks to that docs and they come up with you being right, she lashes out onto you because she potentially harmed her kid by not listening to you. There might be an element of "Well, my family is fine on anesthetic, it's your family that isn't, so this is down to you" in there too. I think it's that she can't come to terms with the fact that you were right and she was wrong, on something so important.

This isn't an excuse or anything, but maybe if you understand this way of thinking, it could help you deal with her.

You've mentioned these concerns on here, it isn't a last minute thing that you 'just remembered'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I think you are right.
She is completely incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions - she's fucked up royally here and should simply take it on the chin, but that goes completely again her nature. Everything is someone else's fault - usually mine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I have an ex like that
always has to be the victim. When everyone found out he'd been cheating on me he tried to make out like it was hard on him having lost two women he 'cared about'.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Oh I know a few people like that
And when you pull them up on their wrongdoings it's all "Oh I'm so shit, I'm a failure, you don't deserve this". By then you're stuck, if you agree with them then they flip at you, and you're now the bad guy, but if you coo sympathetically that they're not shit, they've won.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I am saying exactly what Gonz said.
I'm sorry she has that temperament and I'm sure Len will be alright.
I hope the worrying doesn't last long.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'm still not used to this parental worrying shit.
It's fucking horrible - made all the worse for being told that apparently I don't actually care at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

It must be very difficult
But you need a filter. You know how she views the world, you know how she reacts to stuff. She tells you you're a shit dad under the most normal of circumstances, so she's bound to go off like a jack-hammer when she's worried about the baba. And who's she going to turn on? You. "Fucking smartarse who keeps denying me some scrap of evidence that he's a shit dad." She's fuming with herself, she's fuming with you for being right, and she's as shit scared as you, because (so I hear) you will never worry about anyone you love as much as you worry about your babies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Bless you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I think this is what I was trying to say
only... better?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

This whole situation makes me angry
I don't know you, I don't know your ex and I don't know the situation, but I'm going to wildly throw in my opinion because I'm just that egotistical.

Your ex really doesn't have any idea how lucky she is in her daughter having such a devoted father. My situation was the other way around, my dad wasn't terribly interested in seeing us and my mum had to nag him constantly to have him come down to see us. I was old enough when he left to understand everything and I wasn't too fussed over not seeing him as a result, but my brother wasn't and couldn't understand why Dad wasn't interested.

If your ex had the first fucking idea about the emotional health of her daughter, she'd be doing a lot more. She's using your kid as a weapon to take revenge on you for whatever "justification" she feels she has and it's sick. I hope your daughter knows how hard you're trying.

Sorry to rant, I've read a few posts of yours on this and I know how the legal deck's stacked against Dads from my own interest. Good luck, mate.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Thanks a lot for this, Kroney, really.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)