Good morrow, peasants.
I'm starting to worry about my daughter growing up all wrong. She is already technically a cockney, and I fear for her accent and behaviour if she attends state school in London. I simply don't have the money to put her through private school, sadly.

Should I consider suggesting she and her mother - and me, separately (of course) move down to Canterbury where she will at least go to school with English speakers and will probably see a lot less knife crime? My ex is from there and she's mentioned that she might move there at some point anyway.

I know no-one down there but it's a lovely little town and I'm sure there are some decent folks about. So do I start a new life in the off-world colonies or not?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:09, 216 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

you'll be pleased to hear that I managed to score last night
so had some weed to commiserate after having to throw away a whole eighth.

Hard decision you have there old chap. How would your ex take it if you suggested it? Would you tell her your real reasons?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Why'd you have to sling your gear?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:15, Reply)

it went mouldy :-(

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I've seen mouldy hash before, stuff what had been buried, and the seal on the tin had gone.
It was covered in white mushrooms, and the smell was indescribable. Fucking putrid.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

this was just covered in a thin film of white fluff
which came off on the fingers.

it was a wrench, but I had to chuck it. Don't want to fuck myself up too badly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Apparently, it can be dangerous, smoking dope mould.
I've had a few reports of near death fuck ups.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

yeah, that was what I read
thought it best to chuck it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Hello there!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Morning Monty.
How's it swinging?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Like a gorilla's arm, dear boy.
You OK?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Yeah, good as.
Baby gorilla, or daddy?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

speaking of baby gorillas
have a drawing of mine..

sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs252.snc4/39941_1542954610743_1141290595_1540619_1028713_n.jpg
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Very good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

It makes me feel broody.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

broody as in you want a baby to cuddle for your own?
I always feel like that lately. I love kids, they're great fun.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

No. I want a baby Gorilla, to suckle my manly nipples.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

fair enough.
I heard they're the best at that kind of thing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Almost as good as chimps.
But without their cute nappies.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Close call.
I've barely smoked this week, because my throat's so sore. I've had a bag of Thai for a fortnight now and have barely dented it. Being ill saves you money...

My ex agrees with me re London state schools - my offering to start a new life in her home town for the good of our child would be seen for the noble offer it is, I think.

I'm pretty fed up with my miserable existence here anyway, much as I love London I am soooo bored with my job and I am slowly killing myself as a result.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Sounds like you are ready for a change then
and one of those is as good as a rest, or so I hear.

Test the waters and see what happens.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

if you also get to see more of your daughter as a result of moving then it has to be worth a try
why don't you start looking for jobs around there first to ascertain how easy/difficult it would be to find work there if you moved?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

You could probably commute from Canterbury to london?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

That's a thought.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Would you get to see her more often?
At the moment you both (I think) live in London and she fucks you around all the time with seeing her. what would change in Canterbury?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Doubt it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Then why move there??
If you can commute from Canterbury to London, you can go from London to Canterbury to see your daughter
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

It'd be fucking expensive
And I wonder if a new life for me might not be a bad idea in itself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Thank goodness you finally admit that smoking dope and doing verious other drugs on such a regular occorance is not only killing yourself....
... but also is the reason you feel your life is so shit.

Please go seek help and think of your loved ones next time you spark up a zute.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

smoking dope isn't killing him any more than smoking cigarettes would

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Yes it is.
They're both killing him, but if you smoke fags, you're damaging your body. If you smoke dope reguarly as a crutch, then you're damaging your body _and_ mind.

Take alchole for example, it does your liver in and all that, but it also does your head in, it alters your thinking process not only when you're on it, but when you're off it. If he was drinking 4-5 pints a day, or whatever the equivlient is in booze, you would be thinking "Fucking hell mate, sort it out.".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I can only speak for myself
but my mind is as sharp as it ever was, and I'd be a shitload worse off if I drank a load of booze instead.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I can pretty much gaurnty that if it didn't alter your mind in any shape or form, you wouldn't be doing it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

altering doesn't necessarily mean damaging.
it does vary wildly between people, and while most of my good friends who smoke are perfectly capable and with it, I have known some people who it has fucked up, but I suspect they were prone to mental illness anyway.

It's not for everyone that's for sure, and it's certainly less harmful than a lot of stuff I see people imbibing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

The problem is using it reguarly as a crutch to avoid feeling or doing something, rather than face those things.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

that is very true
I use it to help me sleep sure, but better than sleeping pills in my view.

Aside from that, other than liking it like a lot of people like a drink I don't have any other reason for using it.

I honestly don't think Monty does either, he just likes it a lot, and has been carrying on that way for some time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Out of all the screw ups in my life,
booze has been behind most of them.
Drugs, very few.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I figure I smoked heavily everyday at uni
and I got a 2:1 and a Masters in Civil Engineering and left uni with a wonderful girlfriend. I have since got myself a nice large house and held down a good job as a hydraulic modeller.

It can't have done me too much harm.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I'm pleased above that you've mentioned that you _do_ know people who have fucked up on that stuff, most people don't admit that on this kind of debate.
And I'm also very pleased that this isn't your case, and that everything is going swimmingly for you.

However, I'm sure you're very aware, at least, I hope, that if you were in a negative situation, the weed can turn from "A little tipple at the end of a hard day" to "It's only a tiny bottle of vodka, it's no big deal", if you know what I mean.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

yeah, one of the guys was diagnosed with "cannabis-induced psychosis"
basically bipolar disorder I think. Caused him to throw his prized guitar out the window...

A very good friend of mine was also diagnosed as bipolar, but she was pretty much heading that way before she started smoking from what I've been told. Strangely, she found that smoking pot helped manage the side effects of her meds afterwards.

I do know what you mean, and in my case, when I've been in a negative situation then I've stopped smoking during it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I'm sure any therapist would agree that material achievement would indicate that all is well.

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

:-P
I'm also really rather happy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

*nods knowingly*
I'll be coming through Exeter on the train tomorrow. Please stand on the platform at about 12.30pm so I can pull your beard.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I'll do my best to be there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Yup, deffo better than sleeping pills, which in my experiance make you wake up feeling like shit, or don't work at all (or both).
Although there are other tablets than 'sleeping pills' that can knock you out, for example, amyletriptaline. I'm not a doc, so donno, but they work for me. Sure, you could say I'm taking them on the same reasons as you smoking weed, but the pills are given to me by specialists and GPs, rather mates and dodggy types. I know the caliber of person doesn't change the effect of the drug, but it does make me feel better that it's less of a bad-news thing.

Whatever I say won't change the way you or monty thinks, and to be honest, you both know how it effects you more than I do. But the impression that I get from Monty is that he is not content with his life, and much like a alcholic or binge-alcholic, is using a drug to escape the issue. Truth be told, I know fuck all except the few things he posts on here, and in my uninformed opinion (which doesn't always equate to being a 'wrong' opnion), it is, at least, a partial cause of his problems..... even on best-case sinario, it gives his ex extra ammo against him.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I've tried some herbal stuff in the past, valerian and things
which worked ok, but the trouble I have is that my mind races, even when I'm not stressed or worried about things, and weed relaxes me just enough to let me get to sleep.

I know what you mean about it feeling like less of a bad news thing coming from a specialist.

I certainly wouldn't say your opinion is wrong, and given that I've had little experience with the sort of people and things you describe you may well be more on the money than I am.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I've found very few herbal things that touch the sides as far as "real" drugs go.
Valerian, not a thing.
Guarana, not a thing.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I've had some mixed results from valerian
the liquid extract works best in my experience.

I don't tend to go in for stimulants like guarana
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

that Rocket Fuel coffee was the shiznit though

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Enema?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

No she's just got crabs.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Only been there once on a school trip.
As far as I can remember, we saw the cathedral, although presumably it has other delights.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Principally 'The Canterbury Scene'
of the late 60s/early 70s - Soft Machine, Caravan etc. I could write a book on it, interviewing the surviving people.

Hmmmmm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Most are probably dead/loony bin/Morocco/Gong.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Lucky cunts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Nothing wrong with cockneys
Just try to teach her to enjoy learning and she'll turn out ok whatever school she goes to.

Unless she gets pregnant at 13 that is.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Agreed
The cream rises to the top, no matter where you are. She'll be fine
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

The Milliband boys
went to the same school as N-Dubz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I can't be arsed to Wiki their ages
but am willing to bet they weren't there at the same time. The school may have gone downhill considerably in the intervening years
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I'd vote for either of them
If they flushed at least one of N-Dubz, particularly that gaunt gnome mother-fucker
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I did a shoot with Ed, a few years ago, when he was "Minister of Communities."
Whatever the fuck that meant. I felt so dirty.

MP for fucking Donny!
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Have you read this yet?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-11040378
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Yeah, priceless isn't it?
What a vile little man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

you do realise that if you move to Canterbury
we will all be obliged to call you the Arse-bishop of Canterbury
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Yes, yes I do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

you are already halfway there then!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Arse-Bishop of Cunterbury?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I thought about it
but then thought no
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

You were just afraid to go there.
Me - I am like diamond nails.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

you mean kind of gay?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Blingy but butch.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Like a donkey jacket with sequins.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

^why is this not your sig?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

From what I know of Canterbury
it's a lovely town but there is absolutely FUCK ALL to do there. I wouldn't expect to see as many gigs as you probably do now.

Nonetheless such an offer is most considerate, you have my admiration (not that he wants it, I know, shut up Vippers)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

That said, if nothing's going on maybe some people will turn up to watch him DJ.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

That is exactly how DJing works

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Do you "watch" a DJ or "listen" to a DJ, I'm not sure which is right.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Either is appropriate
It usually depends on the DJ's level of fame and proficiency. Your average local club night, people are going to listen to the music. If DJ Cashmoney was doing a night in your town you'd go to see him, much as with a band.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I like him a lot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Depends if you're a Japanese hip hop fan or not.
Whenever my old chums the Scratch Perverts used to play, there'd be a five-man deep ring of Japs around the decks, silently and motionlessly staring at their every move. It used to drive them nuts - it's a fucking nightclub, this is music being played, why are you just standing there gawping?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

That's so weird that I'm not entirely sure you didn't hallucinate it
I remember once when I was DJing spotting this bloke staring impassively at me from the side of the room. It freaked me out so much that I didn't notice the girl dancing like a total slut and apparently trying to give me the eye just a few feet in front of (and below) me. His girlfriend, as it turned out.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I've seen it dozens of times
with everyone from Mixmaster Mike and QBert through to less well-known scratch DJs. It's fucked up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Mixmaster Mike is a fucking genius
Not that this excuses such behaviour. Maybe Japanese people can't dance. Actually I know that to not be true, but maybe they can ONLY dance Ballroom, and not to hip-hop. At all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Depends on who's turn it is on DJ Hero.
I think the differance is if you're there to listen to the music, rather than the music being just in the background, you're 'watching' the DJ, otherwise it's listening, or if it's DJ Hero (which is a complicated hard version of DJing), then you're 'playing'.

It's one of those oppersite-to-what-you-think things, I think.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Christ things can't be that dire down there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Private school! Noooooooooooooo!
You could always move to Cornwall, Certain things are quite cheap and of pretty good quality as a lot enters through the fishing ports.
( Peej, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

But it's miles from both families and neither of us can drive...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I'm of the opinion that driving is essential for living in the south west

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

you're not wrong there...
the same is true for here.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I don't drive
and I've lived here all my life
( Peej, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I wouldn't call what you do "living"
;-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I'd put my kid down if it spoke with a cockney accent, it would mean that I've failed as a parent and am scum of the earth.
I'd probably do some think along the lines of filling her milk with a load of bleach before it happened, as if she's going to turn into a cockney, she deserves a horrible slow death. Nobody from london has amounted to anything anyway.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Is it wrong to fancy Stephanie Slater then?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Who's that?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Eastenders bike.
Edit, designed for bum sex.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

It's more the violence that concerns me.
But I might was well be completely honest and admit that I'll be heartbroken if she grows up speaking like the children I hear on the bus every day, that pathetic cod-Jamaican 'innit blud' shit. Almost nobody from London who speaks like has amounted to anything outside the 'urban music' sphere that I know of - enlighten me if you know different, by all means.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

It's a bit harsh to say that nobody who speaks modern london teen lingo has amounted to anything outside of music.
Not all of them, of course, but I'm pretty sure a lot of them eaither turn it off when they get jobs, or even grow out of it. Language is always changing, your parents probably thought the same about your generation when you were growing up, with all those "Groovy" and "Oh gee oh gosh how swell" stuff, or whatever it was at the time.

There is also the fact that it's entirely possible to grow up in london without sounding like a cockney or cod-jamacan, that or myself and pretty much all my friends are an anomonily.

Yeh', the voilance thing would concern me, but there are still plenty of good schools and areas in london that are perfectly safe.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I was raised by Cockneys.
I have never said, 'innit blud' but I have organised a gangland killing.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

If you were Welsh,
you could be in Goldie Looking Chain.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I'm not Welsh, but I am Cornish.
Maybe they could give me honorary membership.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

no, they'd just hate you slightly less than the rest of us

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I like the Welsh.
They make me feel less weird.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

they are good for that
on a personal basis I like them. I lived with 3 of them for 4 years at uni.

As a species though, they are generally short, prone to outbursts of song and violence, and are the worst winners and losers I have had the misfortune to encounter.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I really like Canterbury, not entirely sure why though.
I hope this helps.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Massively, thanks.
*moves today*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

The trouble with private schooling
is the horribly elitist attitude it imbues in many of them. It's not all of them, and I do know a bunch of genuinely nice people who went through private (or even boarding) school, but then I've also met a lot of complete cunts and/or rugger-buggers. I think you just have to keep the affectations in check and make sure the sprog doesn't come out with the idea that privelige can be purchased.

On the other hand, broad cockney accents are positively ghastly. Canterbury it is. Besides, if the problem kids find out she's from Laaahndan they might keep their distance initially, lest she cut their knackers off or "bash their fakkin' 'ed in."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

what's wrong with a cockney accent?
Speaking as an Aussie, every person from britain I've met, no matter where they're from, has had a lovely accent to listen to. Is it just the accent that riles people up or is it to do with where they're from?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

you clearly haven't met any cockneys, geordies, scousers, mancs, basically any northerners
people from bristol, birmingham....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I met a Brummie on sunday night at work,
and I've met Legless, and I have friends who live in Manc who I chat to on the phone every now and then. I've really not found any of their accents unpleasant at all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

although in all honesty, as a person I didn't like the brummie much.
he was stinking drunk.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Just wait until you hear Roota speak
You'll think someone is being attacked
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Brummie isn't the best accent
next time ask him if he is a yam yam or a yow yow.

Apparently my accent confuses people, I have been accused of being a saffer, a posho londoner and a bumpkin
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I went to private school, scholarship boy, parents weren't well off.
It'll either make or break you. It gave me a life long loathing of the class system, and some Socialist principles.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I went to private school as well
Let that serve as a warning to you, Monty

In all seriousness, it gave me a lifelong hatred of almost everyone I went to school with, mostly because they were toffe-nosed cunts, and a knee-jerk reaction to punch anyone who ever says "schooldays are the best days of your life" in the face. And a first-class education.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I've been invited to a school reunion with them,
first time in twenty something years. Might just turn up for the free booze and gruel.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I went to Private School
It was awesome. In later years, I nailed my Maths teachers Daughter.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

To a cross?
Morning sir.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Nope, in her brothers bed
Morning. How are we?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Fine ty.
Did her brother watch, film or actively take part?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

None of the above, as he was out for the day
Sadly, that was what made us be caught. Her parents wondering what the hell that noise was, and who was in his room?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

She doesn't need private school
She needs a calm mother who isn't going to fuck her up mentally or turn her against her father.
I went to a rough school, but I (believe it or not) spoke nicely, got good grades and got accepted by every red brick I applied to (and a girl in the year above was almost as common as me and went to Oxford.)

I know someone from Canterbury who sounds like an Only Fools and Horses character.

Her home life and the values instilled in her will mean more than the money you spend on her education.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

am I the only one who actually read the OP?
He said he couldn't afford private education, it doesn't sound like it's even an option, why does everyone keep disparaging it when it's not even a consideration?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I was wondering that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I'm not disparaging
I'm telling him not to feel bad that he can't afford it because if he keeps caring about his daughter and instilling her with good values, she'll have the same opportunities that he thinks he's denying her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

good point to make.
I've never been at a private school, always state funded. We've never had a lot of money, but I was raised to be polite to everybody (aside from b3ta it's worked), and to work hard for what I want out of life.
I know other people at my school whose parents are doctors and lawyers and they have got the worst attitudes - to them everything and anything can be bought if they want it even for a moment.

If you just raise her to be a good person Monty (which you will, I'm sure), she'll grow up just fine, regardless of what school she goes to.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Isn't Canterbury a bit more 'mushroom' rather than 'coke'?
Would that suit your tastes or would God's clean air be enough for you?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

That's quite a large plus from where I'm standing.
A move might 'break the cycle' a little, I'm hoping.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Good man.
It sounds like it would do you a world of good.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

canterbury
might feel v small and v dull after london, if you like living here. on the other hand if you have had enough, it could be nice to live somewhere a bit more idyllic.

this sounded helpful in my head, but is actually pretty pointless on the screen, like the time my dumbass friend insisted on voting for both will young AND gareth gates on 'pop idol'.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

did you get the cows sorted out? Have they been slaughtered yet?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

no, it has all gone quiet there...
... poor cows...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Yeah thanks for that Rachel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I bet you owe her £500 for that advice.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

not all girls charge by the hour
just the ones you go to.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

It took you an hour to write that advice?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Rachel charges in 6 minute units
so it'd be quite cheap for you
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

The most important years, developmentally speaking, are 0-3 so it's probably too late now anyway.
She's already psychotic, so you may as well move to Scotland.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I'm going to mention private school too.
I've met significantly more well rounded and well behaved people from state schools than I have from public schools.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

^This^

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

there are significantly more people who attend state schools than private ones, that may be a factor

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I went to a private school
Been around a lot more private school attendees due to social circles etc.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Also, I would imagine
that making sure that she turns out well rounded and the best she can be is to do with how you are as a Father and what her mother is like. She could go to school in a warzone but still be able to function normally with support.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I can't really answer your conundrum
maybe try flipping a coin, I find that helps. Not because of the probability, but because when the coin lands you know if you're disappointed or pleased with its results.

I've just found Pinky & The Brain fabric, so I'm well happy this morning.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?..

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Uh ... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

narf

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Same place that you buy rubber sheets.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

What are you going to do tonight?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

the same thing we do every day Pinky....

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I am a frightful snob in some respects
but I think I'm an intellectual snob: well-to-do, well spoken idiots rile me as much if not more than oiks. I didn't want to spark a state vs private schooling debate: I'm scared my child may end up on the wrong side of the tracks and want to do the best by her.

My childhood was like something out of Swallows & fucking Amazons or something - it truly was idyllic and I am utterly depressed by my inability to provide the same upbringing that I had. I'm looking out at grey, dirty London and when I contrast this with the clean air, beautiful countryside and nice twee middle-classedness of my youth if feel fucking terrible about my little girl.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Growing up in London
your daughter will have lank hair, sunken eyes, possibly some sort of skin condition and probably typhoid.

Come to the home counties Monty, old bean. We have water that's only been through seven people and rivers with at least one form of wildlife in them. Live the idyll!
( Kroney, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

So your sister was called Titty?
Fnarr.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I think it's great that
you care this much about it. I had a grassy, muddy Midlands upbringing and would also like to provide it for my children (if I ever had any). However, city upbringings can be just as rewarding.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I guess it's hard to see that without having experienced one for yourself

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

this is true
I grew up in the countryside and whilst I'm now able to share stories of hedgehog adopting and goose punching, I did used to envy my friends who would go out every night to play with friends from their road in the local park. My nearest neighbours were 2 miles away in every direction, so I had to make do playing with baby ducks.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I grew up in the country
and I *wish* I'd known about goose punching. That sounds much more fun than cow-pushing.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I never got involved with any of those things
my activities were mostly confined to burning things and fighting each other with sticks.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I did that too
children are basically just pricks.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

OMG PAEDO!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

it's not a hobby!
I just had to punch a goose one time, that's all. Survival of the fittest, etc.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

At least it wasn't a swan
murderous bastards.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I just had an incredible urge
To boot open the front door of work, run out, and go build a tree house.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

See you in the woods in 5
don't forget to bring the penknife that one of your friends will inevitably stab you with.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

*joins scouts*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Penknife, check.
Kaol, check.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Sacrificial virgin, check.
Though in central Manchester, most "virgins" are second or third hand.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

oi!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

He said 'most'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Hahaha
Let's have a knife fight outside a london pub :D

Where is Kaol now?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Kaol's in Wales with Melicious

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Kaol's in whales
Dirty bugger.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Can I come with?
It's on my bucket list. Building a tree house that is, not stabbing Labs with a penknife.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Tree houses are ACE!
This is official.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!
Oh, ok then, if you bring cupcakes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I might make you a man-corset instead

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Honestly Mont,
It's possible to have the best of both worlds.
You're right to be worried though. If my nephew hadn't passed the entrance exam for the school he's in now, I think we'd have poisoned him to spare him the terror that is our local 'Academy'. He just couldn't have coped. He's little bit on the autistic side sometimes and he hadn't mixed with the savages from near his house.
I, on the other hand, was a little better prepared and my local school, while it was rough, is nowhere near as bad as the one he'd have had to go to. Also, I was more sociable, was a good blagger, and wasn't easily led, so my academic achievements weren't in jeopardy because of a bit of bullying or attempts to distract me. My nephew would have caved though.
His school doesn't take fees, but you have to be shit-hot brainy to get in. My mother picked it for its ethos more than anything. He got into another school that was just too 'white and Catholic' for our tastes. So you will be able to find 'good' and 'nice' schools for her wherever she lives, that won't cost a penny, but will have her if she passes the entrance exam. And let's face it, she's looking like she's going to be a bright kid already.

My mum had me booked to sit entrance for a good school. From what people told me about the exam, I reckon I'd have passed too. But I knew I'd be swapping one kind of bullying for another. I stood out in the local comp for being polite and bright, and I'd have stood out in the private school for being a common little scholarship kid from Town. So I chose to stick with the devil I knew.

I grew up in the grey and grime of the city, but because of that, my nana could regularly walk me five minutes along the road to the opera, the ballet, the art gallery and whatever else was happening. And I appreciated my holidays in the country more because it wasn't the norm.

Do whatever you can for her and she'll be ok. There will still be educational options open to her that don't cost a lot, and fight tooth and nail to get her into those rather than somewhere that will frighten her. I couldn't fight my way out of a paper bag, but I survived because I was mentally strong and my parents loved me. Don't fret. You're doing the best you can.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Thank you for posting this. Really.
I'm feeling a bit emotional today.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

One day when she's about 19/20
you'll be sat having a beverage with her, and she mightn't actually say "Thanks for all you've done for me." but the fact that she's sat there, and you're buddies, well you'll just know that she's grateful you gave a fuck.
Trust aunty Roota.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

*blubs uncontrollably*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Sorry about that!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I did both
Private then state school. In hindsight I am glad I did both now as the private school experience really did develop my character quite strongly so by the time they got fed up me and kicked me out I was ready for state school. This post is boring and useless but I am sat here bored and wanted to play.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

With you around her, she'll turn out just fine
Of this I am certain.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

(!)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I agree.
Most parents don't give a flying fuck about their kids upbringing and think that cladding them in replica shirts and throwing a Wii at the nippers entitles them to parent-of-the-year awards. The fact that you are even considering changing your own lifestyle/job/comfort zone for the long term good of your daughter makes you something of a good parent.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

hehe
hard on
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

*handshakes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

*tips hat*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

*tips waiter*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)

You said 'hard on'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

(I said 'hard-on')
Edit - fuckers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Speaking as a teacher my thoughts are as follows
I teach primary so my thoughts are based on that.

If a child has caring parents who read with them, talk to them, teach them manners and respect they will fine where ever they go.
The problems come from parents who don't do this.
In a class I had a couple of years ago there were two extremely disruptive children. (both have now been removed from main stream education, one to a secure unit) The effect of these children on the class was a massive disruption to the education of all. Some children followed them, those who didn't were either bullied or at the least suffered lesson with constant disruption.

The problem is that no matter what you do there is no accounting for the job done by other parents.

I personally would move. You can only do so much at home, she will be influenced by her peers, more so as she gets older.

Above all, you have to instil discipline and respect at home. Let her know what you see as acceptable behaviour.

That said I'm not a parent, just a teacher.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

therein lies the problem
Monty doesn't get to see his nipper enough to do those things you suggest, or to ensure that his ex is doing so.

Moving somewhere like Canterbury would at least help the situation.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

In other news
I've just had a record delivered: it turns out that I have bought an LP from a 'Ken Williams'. Ooh, matron.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Did he let you use his loo?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

No, the cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)

TWICE
I have ordered Some Like It Hot on DVD.
TWICE it has not turned up.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Maybe
you should order 'It ain't half hot mum' instead?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

You're right
*amends order*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Hot Snot: 2 Hours of Hardcore Nasal Action!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Hot Bot: Darth Foxtrot and BobbyPires - together at last in one action-packed adventure. Shot in 'Bummerama'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Hot Rot: With bonus Portable MI6 Agent!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Its because its raining isn't it you massive gayer?
In my experience, so long as she has at least one person to teach her new interesting things then she'll grow up just fine. My family didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up, so my dad would ensure that we would get the best of the education that was given to us by the government by encouraging me to go to the library, museums and art galleries so I could find out more about the things that had piqued an interest in school, but the teachers only had so much time to tell us about. I wouldn't have had that experience if I had been living out in the countryside.

Similarly, we'd go on holiday to the lake district and see nature at its best and get a deeper understanding of what natural beauty was. My friends would be going on beach holidays and be bored senseless because there was only the beach, an appartment building and a pool, whereas I had mountains and lakes to play with.

So if she's always got you in her life, I'm pretty sure she'll turn out just fine wherever she lives.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I bet it's sunny in Canterbury *cries*


Joking aside thanks Becky (and everyone else)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

No, No it isn't
Its pissing it down.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Nice sig
but do you hate purity? do you hate goodness? Do you not want virtue to exist anywhere?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Now that really would be telling.
Yes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Aw, we did similar things
I first noticed Waterhouse's Echo and Narcissus when I was 11, in the art gallery that was right behind our flat, and bawled my eyes out because the tale was so gorgeous.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

You fancy Ian McCullough?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Bwuuuurgh!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Was that a Viz-style sound of appreciation...
...or an impression of vomiting?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

the latter

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Mate, you certainly don't have to go that far
I'm from Lee/Brockley and my folks moved to Bromley on the outskirts of SE London for the same reasons. It's perfect because it's a proper nice suburban place, but also an eleven minute train into Victoria. You have the best of both worlds.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)

How's West Wickham looking?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I gave myself the title King of Wickham a few months back
When I left last week I left Lacey incharge of the place. It will probably have burnt to the ground by the time I return, useless mare.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

The people are starving, Sire!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Replying a bit late
but I think Canterbury could be a good idea. A more laid back way of life, and probably a better choice of schools in that the best ones will still be oversubscribed but at least you'll have a chance. You might find it a bit boring though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I live in Canterbury
It's ok. Bear in mind that house prices in the area itself are pretty damn high, renting or buying. You might be better off living in one of the surrounding villages or towns.

Schools too, are mostly OK. I'd advoid Canterbury High and Chaucer though.

There are some nice parts to Canterbury, and some decent bars with live music and the like. If you want to know more about it and that - give me a gaz or something.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)