well, enough of that bollocks
Did you all waste your bank holidays lamentably? Tell me something interesting, funny or horrific that happened to you this weekend.

I made a mistake with my pill and had to go and get the emergency contraceptive. The pharmacist judged me, insinuated that I was a liar and then charged me £22.99 for the privilege. It's expensive being a slag apparently.

But I had a really good steak last night and bought Lego Harry Potter so I'm happy again. I'm so easily pleased.

Sorry for the thread stepping Darth! I f5ed just before posting and everything!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Baby killer!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I'm sorry
I'll name it after you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

It's so easy to not get pregnant nowadays.
I wonder why more people aren't doing it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

If you jump up and down afterwards you don't get in calf mode.
Apparently.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

that's so bollocks
all the 'home remedies' are bollocks, the only thing that stops it is hard drugs. Or a coathanger at a later date. Or my probably entirely uninhabitable womb.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Drinking vinegar also works.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

or hot gin apparently

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I'm pretty sure drinking gin just makes it come out all spakky
rather than getting rid entirely.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I read that as "sparkly"
and thought that would be incredible.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

haha and that's how twilight babies are born!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

you're just trying to see what I'll do aren't you?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Keeping your pants on too.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I try that
but Wiggy invokes boyfriend privileges if I hold out for too long.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Do you sigh and roll your eyes and say "if we must"
then tut and keep glancing at your watch during the entire sordid business?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I enjoy it really, it's the only time I really get to read.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Actually, I do think that the vitamin C thing works

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Vitamin C kills babies?!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Vitamin C is ascorbic acid
It can make the vagina hostile to sperm.
There were claims that if taken VERY early for a few days after sperm has met egg, that it can make it all reject and not turn into a you-know-waht, but some experts have said that is rubbish.
Some hippy-types shove one up there before sex, but imagine if you accidently used an effervescent one...
No harm in taking a vitamin C overdose for a few days if you ask me.
You need all the help you can get, The pill can fail, Levonelle can fail, and Wiggy's sperm can win.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

It's stoner sperm
I think it's pretty lazy as it is, but yeah I know 2 women who've had kids whilst on the pill, nothing works like celibacy.

I have this feeling that when I do actually want to try for kids I won't be able to, not sure why. I think my womb is hostile.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

To answer your question,
I went to a house party in Camden, the place was a closed down pub with a bar and PA system and pool table roof terrace and everything. It was good fun then sunday cooked a fryup for 10 people, and decided to either go on a friends boat on the thames or go to notting hill.
I did neither and spent 6 hours in the pub and had roast pork.

Monday I did fuck all except watch TV and play computer games. Oh and I Liked one of your things on facebook and felt dirty.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I would have gone on the boat.
I saw that you liked it and it just looked odd and wrong. I'm glad you liked it though, it makes me feel all shit and dull inside.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

If I'd gone on the boat I would have had to go to Tottenham hill
rather than the pub 100m away on Camden high street.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I'm not a natural pub dweller
It just seems like a waste of money to sit in a pub drinking when I'd rather be sitting at home drinking coffee in my werewolf slippers.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I like my friends though.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

ahh that's where we differ
I hate your friends.

Except that fit one.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Ha, she's not even the fittest.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

and yet it doesn't benefit you in the slightest.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

It should be the goal of every man to surround himself with beautiful women.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

but surely it's pointless if they're all just friends?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

friends laughing at him
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You don't have to shag people to enjoy their company.
Try keeping your legs closed next time you meet someone and you may find out.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Quite a few of my male friends are hot
but I only have eyes (and legs) for Wiggy. *dreamy sigh*

What I meant was, it shouldn't matter how attractive your friends are if you're only going to enjoy their company, not 'enjoy their company'.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

oh lord
that's my view too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

yay
we can be old and miserable together.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

*high fives*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Qu'est-ce que?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

*sprays with holy water*

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

That's not 'holy water'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Ooh topical.
I remember meeting a Catholic at my most recent house party. Subsequently I screamed the Lord's Prayer at him.

No wanking though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Bugger
Took me ages to type that out. Not your fault, mine for being a total brain-mong this morning. Might delete and repost later
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

we posted at the exact same time so it wouldn't have shown up for either of us.
I usually threadstep the Badger, which is dangerous.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I had replied to that : (

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Sorry BGB
I'll throw it up again in a while
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Me too.
Did you win the lesbian arm wrestle?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Goddamn right I did
And I was nice about it by letting her have a decent go at pushing my arm down rather than just dismissing her attempts quickly. She was reasonably strong for a girl as it happens. She was also whacked off her (impressive) tits on Special K, however. I'm so proud of myself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

How does lesbian arm wrestling differ from non lesbian arm wrestling?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

It's betterer
I have a 100% success rate in arm wrestles against lesbians. Also I was quite keen to show off to said lesbian's girlfriend, who fancies me for some absurd reason
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Bloody good shag.
That'll cure them.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Didn't actually suggest that
Turns out most avowed lesbians regard this viewpoint as something of an insult
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I do my best to insult ALL members of society.
So good, this has worked.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

You'd have had a fucking field day at InFest then
Bunch of weirdos
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Odd that!
Touchy lesbians!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

If you touched them,
they'd probably scream.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

When I touch a woman
she always screams!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

maybe she wants a less butch girlfriend

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Facebook tells me they've broken up now
so maybe you're right
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I spent 25 hours on my feet, told a lot of people off for smoking inside a music tent and passed out in a yurt
It was fairly fun.

I obviously can't do interesting or funny, and the most horrific thing that happened wasn't as bad as I thought. Was working during the Gallows, and had to deal with someone who at first I thought had a cut throat. It turned out it was just a cut eyebrow and the blood had just run down his face and down his throat. So that's ok, I sat and sponged blood off his face with a wet tissue feeling for all the world like someone's mother.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Yurts are cool.
Stayed in one a few times, with civilised laptop, generator, wood burner and beds. Much better than wanky tents.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

You fucking hippie.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Pot.
Black. Kettle. Calling. The.

Rearrange these words.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Damn. Rumbled.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Hah.
*stalks*
So how are you you?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Fair to middling, I would say.
You?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Full of the cold.
Gozzing interesting phlegm everywhere.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Nice.
I've been coughing up luminous ectoplasm for nearly three weeks now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Call Ghostbusters.
Those scamps.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I read the whole of 'Right Ho, Jeeves' yesterday
for about the fifth time, drank Spanish wine, ate Spanish cheese and shunned Europe’s largest street party, in favour of seeing and talking to no-one.

What a fucking crazy guy I am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I was sick at a wedding midway through the day but managed to revive myself and reload.

I bought a new xbox and ate pizza yesterday.

Today I am wishing I was at home watching all the deadline day transfers go through. But I'm sat at work with Adrian Mole and the passive aggressive mentalist.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

someone was sick in our common room at school yesterday and never told anyone or cleaned it up.
got to school today and it smelled horrendous. :(
Glad you managed to pull up better then they did!!

Also - what's the go with xboxes?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

that is filthy? but also funny. At sixth form they used to pay some of the 6th formers to clean the school every day. My area was the 6th form common room but my mate who did the Staffroom and Heads office didn't turn up so I got to clean the Heads Office and did a huge pooh in his toilet and left it.

"whats the go with xboxes?" go?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

did you fight with the relatives or avoid them?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

wasn't relatives
was ex friends. Well the girl I was bickering with offered the olive branch so I took it. The guy I was full on arguing with didn't turn up to the wedding or reception with no word to anyone so I don't know if that's cause I was there or he was just being a tool.

Turned out to be quite a shitty wedding and kind of fizzled out by 11ish. So I went home watched MOTD and smoked doobies.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Ooh
I want the new Xbox. Purely because it's a slightly different shape and colour.

Also, I bought the entire Adrian Mole series of books for £13 off ebay a month ago. Fuck yeah!
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I shagged mine so had to get a new one. Broke the hdd so just thought fuck it and bought the new one. It's much quieter and it seems to be much quicker from screen to screen and downloadin so I am pleased. It also makes really nice pingy noises. Plus you don't actually have to touch the buttons when your finger gets close they just do the business.

I have all the Adrian Mole books too I was trying to think what my favourite was but couldn't do it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I've only just discovered
The Lost Diaries - previously published in the Guardian. Very cool, didn't know it existed. I shall buy the new one, the Prostate Years, when I run into it.

I do want the new one. But mine stubbornly refuses to break.

However I've just heard that the price of Xbox Live Gold is going up, so maybe, just maybe, it's time to join the scummy PS3 camp.

Ugh. I feel dirty just thinking about it.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Gold going up? mother fuckers. Still won't get a PS3 now I've bought a new shiny xbox. Although God of War 3 will mean I buy one eventually.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I know
Also I really do need a Blu-Ray player at some point.

I, er, bought the HD-DVD player add on...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

see that's not as dumb as it sounds
cause you can still get an arse load of hd dvds for pennies online. My friend did the same. I now want a new telly as well. I'm meant to be saving for next semester but I keep spending my money on electronic goods and marijuana.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Yeah, I did manage to get some ridiculous deals.
Like the whole series of Planet Earth for £1 instead of the £130 it was before...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I want a black Wii
everything is sexier in black.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

even the plague.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I spent it up at Cadwell Park
With a bike racing team I write for. One of the lads was back for the first time in three races - having had both arms opened up and the muscle sheaths sliced open to alleviate the chronic arm pump (where your muscle packets can't expand enough to let the fibres inside contract fully, causing massive pain) and took pole position, a new lap record and his first win. All this with what turned out to be a broken thumb from a crash in qualifying.

I really lost the right to complain about the 220 mile ride home afterwards after hearing that...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Awesome turkish food on friday night, followed by Wii and spliffs
surfing on Saturday and lying in the sun, followed by steak, Wii and spliffs.
Wii and spliffs on Sunday and a bit of shopping.
Yesterday involved sleeping, then going to the beach, swimming and then having a barbecue. Can't beat a barbecue on the beach, although we didn't have any fish to cook which felt a bit wrong.

Sorry for not texting you about playing MarioKart. I was a bit Wii'd out by the end of the weekend so I watched The Expendables instead.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

expendables? good or bad? going tomorrow cannot wait.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

More importantly
anyone seen Four Lions? Any good?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

horribly offensive
you'll probably love it.

I hated it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I enjoyed it
it is an action film, and nothing more. It's got a good amount of gore in it, it's fairly amusing in places.

Jet Li could have been better, but the rest of them are alright. Jason Statham comes off best I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Is he all cockney in it?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

No. In this one he is a cut-glass Old Etonian.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

It could happen

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Your faith in Statham's acting ability
is both touching and deluded in equal measures.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

His American accent is dreadful.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

You should hear Roger's

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)

That's the first time I have seen "Acting ability" and Statham in the same sentence.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

yeah
but he kicks some full on ass.

There's this bit where he finds out that Charisma Carpenter has been shagging some other guy, then finds out the guy hits her, so he goes and beats the shit out of him and all his mates.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I saw that coming a mile off

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

didn't stop it being good though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

True. When I realised that she was probably going to get smacked about and then he was going to smack the other guy about
I started looking forward to it because I knew it would be brilliantly gratuitous.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

cool, shame as I love little Jet Li. Can't wait to see it now.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I predict you will enjoy it
it's a no brainer, but then anyone who expected more for it deserves to be disappointed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I'm hearing fantastic things about Scott Pilgrim
and I'm off to see Salt tonight
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I'll be interested to hear what Salt is like

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I thought it was incredibly dull
but I have a fairly short attention span.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Empire said it was a bit shit
and I tend to agree with most of their reviews.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

it doesn't surprise me
it looked quite shit from the trailers
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I may buy shutter island this weekend
Need moar films
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

May I also recommend Whip It.
It's brilliant in almost every way.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I really want to see that
Just the trailers make me want to take up rollerskating.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

After watching it I googled
'roller derby in the south west'. I'm gonna sound gay but it's really lovely and really funny at the same time. Plus Ellen Page is a brilliant little actress and all the 'stars' are spot on.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Suggestion noted

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Avoid
Centurion


I thought I was going to love it as it had Dominic West and Michael Fassbender in but it was a little shite.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I'm not expecting to think once
I just want to see some of the heroes of my childhood in one final hoorah. And then on Thursday I'm off to watch Scott Pilgrim Vs The World.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

It's ok, I was a bit relieved because I wanted to play Harry Potter.
Did you like the Expendables? I thought it was ok but could have been a lot better and there were some bits that were just shit.

EDIT: you've already answered, so never mind.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

there were some shitty bits
ending was a bit gay, but generally I thought it was alright. Glad it was short too, would have been crap if they'd dragged it out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Charisma Carpenter's character was pretty pointless and so was Mickey Rourke's
and I hated that they tried to make it all soppy and emotional, it just didn't work properly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

yeah, but I could sort of gloss over that
when people started being shot in half by a fully automatic shotgun.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I loved that massive gun thing the black guy had, it was brilliant.
It did annoy me in the big fight scene that there was always a handy bunker for them leap behind and that they were just throwing explosives all over the place without liaising with each other at all.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Black guys massive gun?
I think you were watching a different film...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

There was just one black guy
the token black guy of course. And Jet Li covered the oriental contingency, it was like a United Colours of Benneton ad.

I thought the wrestler with the spaz ear was a pointless character though. And Steve Austin is one ugly man.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

the guy with the spaz ear is a cage fighter I think
or UFC or something.

The English bad guy was a bit shit too, but apparently he was the lead in the live action version of Fist of the North Star, so I can't be too hard on him.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

See there were so many pointless characters.
I assumed they'd just stuck the cage fighter in there for some kind of wrestling showdown with Steve UglyFuck Austin, and I was right.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

there was a lot of wrestling moves going on
let's hope they get The Rock for the sequel
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Oh my god that's what the film was missing!
I knew there was something. It was severely lacking in eyebrow.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

and grin

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Anyone called 'Charisma Carpenter'
should be kneecapped and thrown in a secluded lake to drown.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

in her defence
she is quite hot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

she's really lame though
what has she been doing since Angel? Fuck all, because she's shit. I think she was in a chocolate bar ad a bit ago.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

she was in an episode of Legend of the Seeker
strangely she looked rubbish in skin tight dark red leather.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

god, Legend of the Seeker
Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker Legend of the Seeker IT'S ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I can't help it!
I adore the woman from it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I went to Boston and met a lovely man called
Chuckyl and I asked him to marry me and he said yes and now we have four babies, we had five but Kaol ate one, and tomorrow we are getting on a fighter jet and going on our honeymoon to the North Pole for charity.

I don't know if it will work though as he has a tiny cock

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

What if you're pregnant?
Don't use oven cleeaner. That's how my dad's aunty died.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

How?
Where was the oven cleaner?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

In her vagina I guess

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Was it still in the tin, or not?
We need to know!
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I can't remember what brand it was
But I think it was before aerosols.
I'll ask my nana. She's on my mum's side and not related but remembers the big gossip-fest when it happened
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

this has reminded me of a joke
which probably won't work well in the medium of text, but I shall try anyway. You'll have to use your imagination for the accent.

A Dutch chap is on holiday over here and goes into a chemists to because he has run out of deodorant. He goes up to the guy at the counter and explains that he wants some deodorant.

The chemist asks "Ball or aerosol?" to which the Dutch man replies "Neither, I want it for my armpits"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Oh i did a lol!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

glad to hear it :-)
I thought you'd be able to imagine it how it was intended
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

not even the risk of pregnancy is going to make me clean the oven
I hope I'm not pregnant, that would ruin all my plans.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

This thread has cleared 100 replies
So have reposted mine. Ignore at your leisure
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

done.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

the guy at the 24 hour pharmacy near me
made me feel like a total hooker when i last had that particular pleasure. he took me behind a screen which did absolutely nothing to hide his voice and i swear to god the more embarrassing the question the more loudly he shouted.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

yeah, my bloke was this old man and I couldn't fit my explanation into the box that said "explain circumstances"
so I tried to explain it to him, but he didn't want to listen, he just kept saying 'unprotected intercourse' and looking at me over his glasses. He tried to lecture me on protection so I started to explain that I have been taking the pill for 7 years and I just made a mistake with it, plus I'm in a long term relationship, etc, but he might as well have just said "ok I'll get you your slaggytablet".

Although it's not as bad as the time I had to go to Brook for it. I could see her ticking the 'slag' box with every question I answered. She also gave me an STD test and didn't warm the thingy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I recall going to the supermarket (with a pharmacy) the night after a party
as my mate had a condom split so needed the pill for some girl.

We were massively bleary eyed and hung-over, she was clutching the packet, we had bought 10 cartons of orange juice and 5 bags of doughnuts and we then bumped into a friend's mum.

She didn't look at all amused at our predicament.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

at least it is an easy option these days though
i remember skiving a morning off school to accompany my friend to the doctor when we were 18, and then it made her vomit for the next 2 days.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Sounds like he stuck the coathanger in the wrong end

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

apparently it still makes people vomit
I'm well 'ard though, my body is all "Pills? Let's deal! RARGH!" or something. I was in a right foul mood by the time I'd finished in the pharmacy so I decided to take it out on Wiggy. Especially since he suggested some sex to make me feel better. I think I punched him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

typical men
they are ALL THE SAME and let no woman ever forget it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Don't you DARE diss my dad.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

but
he never ever calls when he says he will.

edit - anyway, i thought nobody in liverpool knew who their dad was??? (sorry, friendly manc-scouse banter innit)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

My dad is always denying that he's my biological father.
He mentioned it at my 18th, 21st and 30th. He mentions it on their wedding anniversary and he sometimes mentions it when I say the name 'Dad'.
Fortunately I look like him so I'm hoping that he's kidding.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I did a proper lol at pictures of Boris Becker's kid in the tabloids today
he couldn't look anything less like his father.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Really?
Because as a baby he was the image of him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

It's better than it used to be
At uni in 1997, my girlfriend at the time had to phone up the doctors surgery and book an emergency appointment. I sat in the waiting room while the doctor made her feel like a slag before writing the perscription for the morning-after pill.

She threw up for hours after taking it. Not the highlight of my time at uni.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I'm always surprised by how judgemental the pharmacists and doctors are about the morning after pill
when they don't blink an eye at smoking patches, etc., which is also quite irresponsible. Plus not everyone who needs the emergency pill is a slag and it shows some modicum of responsibility that the girl would even go to the pharmacy to get it. I know some girls use it as their regular contraception, but that's quite rare. I know a woman who got pregnant because she had food poisoning and threw up her pill. In my case it was just retarded maths, but it doesn't make me a whore.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

it seems to be quite a bitter profession
like bus driving.

That said, I know a couple of young pharmacists in Bath, and they are pretty awesome.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)