Lunch.
What are you having?

Alt Q: What's best and why. Christmas, New Year or your Birthday?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:19, 206 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dunno yet
I'm hungry so the next van will get my custom and I'll let you all know in a new thread.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

THREADJACK
Who's got an Android phone?
I recommed Alchemy and Pocket empire, go get them now.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

is that like an iphone
for poor people?
( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

No dude,
the iPhone is like an Android phone for Steve Jobs' flock of 'sheeple.' Open your eyes, man.

_{I can't do this very convincingly, can I?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

i dont have an iphone
a friend has one of the new ones, she bought it even though she knows it does not work but as its "cool"

i dont think i'll be seeing them any more
( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Yeah, I'm trying to gradually patronise the same attitude out of my sister
She wants to replace her knackered laptop and keeps on enquiring about Macbooks. Not for any technical reason, just because she likes the look of them. Currently their vastly exaggerated price allows me to advise her to buy a much more functional PC instead.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

What do you mean when you say "much more functional PC" instead?
I like my Macbook, it's ace.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I've heard good things about them
But in the case of people like my sister, they get bought for style rather than substance.

Part of it's really just to save myself a headache, because I know I'll receive a phone call when the new laptop breaks down, and if it's a PC then I will at least have a vague idea of how to fix it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

It's quite fun learning a new way of doing things.
When I got mine, I thought I would install windows and use it about 1/4 of the time in windows, but I haven't used that once.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Yeah it's for those people that don't want to spend £150 extra for basically the same thing.
So the poor, or you know anyone with sense.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Or for someone who doesn't need the hackability of an Android phone,
but wants the usability, sexiness and Appstore of the iPhone.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

fuck off you;re wrong on the internet.
Chompy how awesome is alchemy! I think I've only made about 130 elements now (can't make elements! wah wah science! whatever)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

while i disagree with the sentiment
i will use the statement "fuck off you;re wrong on the internet" from now on*

* when I can remember**
** and its relevant
( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I think I've got 99,
my mate has 250ish, bastard.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

now you can say "I got 99 elements but [insert missing element] ain't one!"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

ANGRY BIRDS !!!

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Yeah I've got that,
I don't like it that much yet.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

i don't think the android version is as good?
Get Panda Throw!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

this sounds like childish fun and also involves technology
and as such I am against it.

/Monty.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

hahahaha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Sandwiches
Alt: Christmas, because unlike the other two, there's no onus on me to plan or attend anything 'exciting' or 'fun,' and I can just revert the normal routine of going to visit my folks and eating and drinking too much with them like the boring old fart that I am.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

christmas. There's the most food, that's why.
S'the one time of year I feel free to completely overeat with no guilt.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Some form of Oriental
on a lunch date with a beautiful Russian.

Alt: shit tends to go wrong with my birthday (I hope it all turns out well this year, but we're going to a club where my friend vomited into a cup so I don't think that'll go well) but I'm usually ill over winter so I'll go with the birthday.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Sounds like a film I saw somewhere...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Which bit, the vomiting or the Russian?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

The vomiting
I don't recall any films which involved Russian people eating Oriental food. Though I know a Russian who's dating an Oriental lady and I have eaten Oriental food with both of them. I shall be sure to film it next time to remedy the aforementioned void in my life.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I've told you the vomiting-into-a-cup story.
Oh, please do. It sounds ever so exciting.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I have a sneaking suspicion
That if we have everyone round the table speak in French, we can pass it off as an art-house film and the sort of wankers who appear on Newsnight Review will take it very seriously.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Depending on the flavour of Oriental
you can have THE SPECTRE OF COMMUNISM floating above it. And sex. Can't have a poncy art house film without sex.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Indeed
It wouldn't really fall within the definition of a poncy art house film if it didn't have sex in it. Unsimulated, preferably.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

And it needs some impenetrable name that has supposed deeper meaning.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

The Light in Chains
perhaps
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I once asked Yahoo Answers what it would look like if a black person and an oriental person had a baby
I got called racist.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I'm not suprised.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I was genuinely curious
having watched Grey's Anatomy where Sandra Oh and the black guy get it on.

A couple of people gave me serious answers. Lyrics Born has a Thai mother and a black father I think. And someone posted a picture of her friend who was black/oriental, she was beautiful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:52, Reply)

I'd probably think quite hot
I know a half Turkish half Oriental girl. She's stunning.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Date?
Beautiful?
Russian?

Share, woman!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Platonic!
Yes, skinny and perfect in every way!
Russian is sexy!

Though he requested it, which I like. I usually have to chase people up for meetings and suchlike, it's nice that he came to me. Maybe it's because we bonded a lot at Leeds over some nasty shit, I've been lovely to him for 3 years and we've finally had the "if it were going to happen it would have" conversation.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Shame about the platonic, he sounds yum.
Have fun though!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Oh he is, he's delicious
And funny, and smart, and bilingual.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I met a couple of Lithuanian neo fascists on Friday.
They seemed nice at first before they told me they had swastika tattoos.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

This one's an anarchist.
And a feminist.

Where did you meet Lithuanian neo-fascists?!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Pub in milton keynes,
my friend Alex got talking/flirting with them because they gave her cigarettes, then she got scared and dumped them off on us.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Oh man.
Milton Keynes- truly multicultural.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

l n
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

This is the most bizarre post I have seen for some time

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

cheese and ham sandwich
as ever.
altQ: my birthday, obviously, as those others don't put all the attention on MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Dunno yet, but it's exciting because I'm actually up early enough to have some lunch.
Alt Q: New years is always a massive anticlimax and I don't celebrate christmas really. But then my birthday is always a bit anticlimactic too, but I'm going to go with that since it's in 23 days.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I like to have a climax on my birthday

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Oh man,
I hope I get to have a climax on my birthday. I don't want to spend my 20th the same way I spent my 19th.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I'm sure your gaz inbox is now full of offers...

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

ff tt
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

that was weird.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

It could also be arranged...
*gazzes*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Gazzed.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I read that as otters
I felt my entire mental model of reality tremble for a moment.

EDIT: apparently I think like Psychochomp. Hmm.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

My birthday won't be as fun without you.
Though you were invited with full knowledge you probably wouldn't be able to make it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Aye.
I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, I am gutted. Someone invent teleportation, damnit!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

S'no problem, I forgive you :D

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

um, going for a walk to get some time away from the internets
and will probably have a sandwich. yesterday I had a KFC which was better than MASSIVE DRUGS...

alt - would say Christmas, as it has fruit cake with Marzipan which is the food of the gods
( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Spliff
Alt Q: Christmas definitely. I feel obliged to be nice to people and socialise on my birthday Christmas let's me be a cunt and leaves me alone.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I HATE NEW YEAR
sorry Clendrix

I like Xmas but Xmasis only Dec 24 - Dec 26 and NO MORE.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

New Year is always disappointing because you're expected to have the most fun ever and everywhere is twice as busy and expensive as a result
I dislike Christmas because I'm not religious and I hate the way its stuffed down your throat like that.

So that leaves my birthday, which used to be dead exciting, but now just reminds me of one more year passing, rolling ever close to death with little or no achievement.

THANKS JEFF YOU'VE RUINED MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

christmas isn't really religious here - here's its more a family thing.
like we have a family get together. I mean personally I'm quite religious in my own way, but no one else in my family is. We just use it as an excuse to celebrate making it through another year.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I suppose it is a family thing for most people
but I don't really have any family and they hate it as much as I do so we're not all about the big get togethers. I can see why people use it for that, I just hate everything that goes with it, especially the overpriced tat and the recycled Christmas songs.

Last year we went to Wiggy's family get together, this year it's my turn. We're staying in, playing the xbox all day, resolutely not watching the TV and eating a specifically non-christmassy meal. People told me I couldn't ignore Christmas, fuck them, that's what I'm doing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

sounds like the best christmas day ever
with a little sprinkle of drugs and smooches.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

That sounds like the best non-christmas ever.
I celebrate midwinter on the 21st, so Christmas is just a massive waste of time for me, but I get dragged into it anyway. I hate everything about it. Except buying presents for a few select people. I love that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:39, Reply)

druid?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Wiccan.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

teenager.
EDIT: sorry, that sounded really patronising.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Not for long!
Edit: No worries, I hadn't noticed.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I was going to make a Twilight joke but then I remembered we're going to be practicing doubles soon, it wouldn't be wise to piss you off

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Ahem, probably not the best option.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

an "oh so unique" teenager.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Now that is patronising.
Fuck off.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Oh noes don't put a curse on me.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

No point,
Sounds like some one already has.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I'll re watch some Buffy to lean how to counter this serious threat.
did you choose a mp3 player?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Not yet,
I need to get round to some other things first.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Like writing your CV thing?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Erm, yeah.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

You should post what you've got on here and I will lol hard
but some people might be helpful.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Nah, its reet.
Anyway, this is just a first draft. Someone's going to go through it with me when I get back.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

just do what makes you happy!

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:39, Reply)

*Does a little Snoopy dance*
I'm the Internet gift that keeps on giving.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

You're internet herpes
irritating and hard to get rid of.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Harsh.
But fairly accurate.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

*taps on shoulder*
ahem
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:39, Reply)

You can't claim to being a bigger Internet nause than me surely Bob?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Dude people respect you....
Game set match
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Proper LOL from me
You seem to have this acceptance of 'I'm the Seahorse, I don't get no Internet respect'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

It took a long tiem to beat him down to that level though

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

You make me laugh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

she makes me horny

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

none of them
i used to love christmas but then my mum died at christmas which pissed on that AND new year because none of us want to do it without her. although we do all go away every year now(jamaica this time) which does help to make the best of a sad situation. and birthdays mean fuck i'm getting older, this was not in my Plan.

i should have stuck to the lunch question. soggy sandwiches because i have a training session.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

You've got nearly ten years
until you reach your sexual peak though. So it's not all bad.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

this is a very random way of cheering me up
but i do appreciate the thought. i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Men, on the other hand
apparently reach their peak around 18-20 years of age.

So by the time we reach 40, our other halves are gagging for it every night and we find it less easy to keep up the pace!

Problem is that I never fancied 40 year old women when I was 18.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Yeah! and 40 year old women's bodies aint worth fancying.
Where's the logic in that?
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Some of them are
once the man is also in his 40s.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Mary-Louise Parker
46

Definitely worth it.

edit: also, Monica Bellucci 45, the list goes on ...
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Fiona Bruce
is 46.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Mary-Louise Parker would totally get it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:11, Reply)

happy candleday!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

cheers

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:28, Reply)

What she said, happy candle day.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:31, Reply)

do you even know what candle day is?
also, if I can't get any more weed by the weekend I may have to come and visit you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:32, Reply)

yeah it's like a gay little b3ta anniversary I believe
yeah shouldn't be a problem, I should be reloading any day now. Got the tester yesterday which was v nice.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

that is correct
hopefully I'll be sorted tonight, but you never know...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:44, Reply)

wow that is sinking low, even for you.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

you wanna threes up?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

no, she's all mine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I'll just sit in the corner and watch then
....again.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

yeah this
Wiggy has such a crush on her, he was gutted in Season 6 of Weeds when he thought she'd cut her hair off, but luckily it's a wig.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Might have a wank for lunch as I'm working at home
Alt: all three are shit. I only get any enjoyment out of Christmas because I spend it volunteering. Fuck sitting around consuming 10,000 calories with a load of people you dislike.

New Year is over-rated & over-priced.

Birthdays are Meh.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

still, at least you're the stoic type

( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

no, not indifferent or lacking passion about lots of things, just don't like any of the three that Jeff listed

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

what type of volunteering?

( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I'm shift leader for a homeless charity - we temporarily house rough sleepers whilst hostels close over Christmas

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

well, respect
that's a cool thing to do
( zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:40, Reply)

It's a right laugh - not as depressing as you'd think. My 10th year this year & the highlight of the year for me
last year we re-housed 130 people by the end of the week. Fucking RESULT.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Fantastic.
If I wasn't so fucking crap at getting off my arse and doing stuff then I'd find something to do. My best friend, (who now lives in New Zealand), was great at getting me mobilized to do stuff.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

two birds, one stone.
GET YOUR ASS TO NZ
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'm too old for them to want me.
Just like every other fucker : (
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

It's operated by Crisis - you can just do a couple of shifts if you're interested.
www.crisis.org.uk/pages/christmas.html
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I live in West Yorkshire.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Shame.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

That is fantastic
How many guests* do you have over the Christmas period?

*Apols if guests is the wrong term to use here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Guests is the right term. 2200 across 9 centres in London. Includes "sofa-surfers" as well as rough sleepers, plus some guests travel in to London to stay with us
we serve 35,000 meals & operate services by doctors, dentists, legal advisors & others.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

That's fantastic
That must cost the charity a fortune to do and the logistics of serving 35,000 meals is nigh on impossible to comprehend.

The fact you are able, over Christmas, to rehouse a number of people makes it all the more amazing.

Well done you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I just manage volunteers & keep it calm and safe (we shift leaders get training on this)
The really amazing bit is the 5000 volunteers that help over the 8 days we are open. We get lots of corporate donations for food etc & get a lot of cash donations too - we couldn't do it without either of these.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I volunteered doing breakfasts for homeless people in Manchester for about 6 months
and they were rude and obnoxious, consistently damaged the property and tried to steal anything that was taped down. It wasn't particularly rewarding.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

it's not without a few arseholes spoiling it for the majority, but we kick the worst behaved out (anyone fighting for example)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I've always wondered this and not sure if it's a dickish question or not
but do the homeless often get it on with each other? Really am just curious.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

most of them do - they stick up for each other too - most have lost all contact with their family so their friends on the street are all they have, but like the rest of the population there are some right cunts.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I can imagine it's like any community really just with harsher consequences
Fair play for doing what you do. I volunteered in Bristol Zoo as a limur ranger and thought I was saving the fucking world. Kudos Battered.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:27, Reply)

you were a lemur ranger in Bristol Zoo?
that's awesome.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:32, Reply)

It's not actually cause Lemurs are fucking little shits
basically I had to tell people not to get to close and not to feed them. But I did get to play with a lot of other animals in the Zoo.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:35, Reply)

yeah we had a zero crime tolerance thing
but the abuse they used to give us just made it intolerable. I had one guy throw his entire breakfast on the floor because he said it was too salty, but he was the one who had poured all the salt on it. Stuff like that just makes it really frustrating. There were some genuinely nice people there, but for the most part it was just dickheads who didn't want to be helped. Maybe I was just in a rough one, maybe there are posher homeless shelters!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:24, Reply)

That sort of thing can happen - probably had mental health issues. Not that that makes it any easier for you to tolerate

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I know, it's so middle class of me to find the homeless people distasteful
There were so many volunteers there that I felt like my time was just being wasted anyway so I should put it to more productive things, however, I have since done nothing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

It's not uncommon at times to have too many volunteers. I've recently stopped helping another charity run a soup kitchen in Hackney for that very reason.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Tuna mayonnaise rolls
And Christmas is good. Birthdays are pretty shit. New Year is bollocks, except for the fact that we can charge a lot more for playing a Hogmanay gig.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

None of them.
Christmas in particular is going to become more and more unpleasant each year, as I sit at my mother's trying not to think about my daughter opening her pink plastic Disney shit in the company of Kentish proles.

New year is fucking bent and a scam, and I prefer other people's birthdays to my own, there's no pressure.

Bah. But also Humbug.

EDIT Lunch: roast chicken fucking salad again. I am on a diet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Can you not alternate
Christmas and New Years with your ex so that one year you get your daughter for Christmas and the next, New Years?

Or is this sort of resonable arrangement beyond the mental capacity of your ex? (I don't know the story of your ex, but I understand her to be a cunt, yes?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

M to the B why can't you see?
pop a cap in her ass it's so E-Z
You'd get your do'ta all 'round the clock
Till you partake in a large amount of illegal subtances which result in concerned neighbours alerting the authorities
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I think I love you.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I cannot even take her to the park on my own.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Well, obviously
she wouldn't be with you if you were on your own. That's just common sense.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Hahaha very good.
Unsupervised, then.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Christmas, everything to do with christmas except the days.
The lights on the trees and in the shops and the discounts and the warm auterm clothes and the getting dark early at night and the sense of wonder in the air and taking a moment not to be angry at the crouds and the specials on the telly and the thinking about what to give to who as pressents, make something or buy something? It's christmas: BOTH ! And you can wear a scarf without being a complete and utter wormulus.

Only thing I don't like is the actual day, 'cus it turns out that I actually hate people.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I died in my sleep last night.
I was in the house I grew up in with my mum, and I really wanted to see my dad, but he's dead, so the only way for me to see him is that I have to die. So I lift up the panel under my forearm and pressed the buttons. My body stopped working and it was really relaxing and pieceful and suddenly I thought "Oh shit, I won't be able to see Mum any more if I die", but it was too late, I had pressed the buttons, and I couldn't move and I was really relaxed until I was knocked out, and then I woke up.

My first thought was "Oh shit, if I commit suicide, I can see dad again, but I won't be able to play Portal 2", so I think I'm going to wait for that to come out first.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:53, Reply)

you've been talking about suicide a fair bit lately
are you ok?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I'm cool, I just really want to play Portal 2.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I am now looking forward to this too.
I pooh poohed Portal when I first got in on the Orange Box but played it the other day so addictive.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Probs my fave game.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:15, Reply)

"A complete and utter wormulus"
love it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Totally just got me a
Smoked Cheese and Salami ciabatta and finishing it up with a bag of rocket salad. Nom.

They're all terrible. Christmas is shit, New Year is dull and I share my birthday with an Irish drinking holiday so the pubs are full of dullards.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

You should fit in well then
HIIIIIII-OOOOOOOOH
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Well and truly ZINGED

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

New Year is ace.
Now I go to Tourettes and DG's house : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

if I was in the UK, I'd totally crash that party.
but I'll be in Denmark this year. WOO!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Think of all the snow : )
Although last new year at their house we got fecking loads of snow. It was fab apart from it stopping us going to Edinburgh the next day.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I AM - I can't wait - I'm so excited.
I've never seen snow that I can remember, and I'll be with a good mate of mine.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

snow bacon
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I'm going to have to see when I have to go back to work... it's a really long fucking drive
you guys need to move closer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I reckon they should move to Oakwood, in north london.
It's on the next tube stop down, they would all like it there, it's a nice place to live.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Probably my birthday
I don't do much to mark the occasion but whatever it is I'm not obliged to do anything or be with anyone I wouldn't choose to.

I think I've just spoilt my lunch once again by eating cake that we have in the office. People keep returning from holidays and the place is awash with confectionary and booze.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I had half a chocolate eclair
and a cup of tea.

Alt Q: I like Christmas. It's cheerful and however tacky I do love Christmas decorations. My last couple of birthdays have been shit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I wasn't going to decorate for Christmas but Wiggy looked ever so crestfallen so I bought a little tree
We didn't have a fairy so the top was adourned with a soft toy squirrel with tinsel round its neck.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

When I used to live with my mates we had a dinosaur on top of our tree.
We were so lolwacky.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

haha that's quite sweet
my family decorate inside the house every Christmas and generally put some white lights in the trees at the top of the drive
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I've got a great tree decoration you can have
It's a vintage looking metal Mexican winged cat - it looks like one of those 1930s cartoon cats. It was a gift from my old boss because it looks like my old cat, but for that reason (and the fact that now I live alone I don't have to have any decorations at all) I don't want to see it.

Anyone is welcome to it, actually.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

ooh taken
sounds nice
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Me please
if noone else gazzed you in the meantime. Are you going to get a new pet?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Tooo late

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:41, Reply)

yeah I saw
nevermind I will think of you on Christmas day when I'm looking at my 'not as good as it could have been' Christmas tree.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

damn I wasn't quick enough.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Meatball Marinara, yay(!)
Alt Q: Christmas, definitely
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Tomato soup
marmite sandwich

definitely christmas. forget the religious bollocks, it's pleasant time with family and presents, and good food. The Christmas morning ham on toast ritual is one of my favourite things.

I fucking hate christmas music though. Really fucking hate it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I love christmas songs
and the only acceptable breakfast on christmas morning is a tangerine and or a chocolate orange followed by smoked salmon on scramble eggs on toast.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Some christmas songs are dreadful
'Wonderful Christmastime' by Paul McCartney makes me despair.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Honestly it doesn't matter how shit they are
I just like the songs, I like everything about Christmas apart from the people. I like the shit adverts, the shit songs, crap presents, tacky bollocks. It just makes me smile lots.

I think my particular favourites are Elton Johns Christmas song and Stevie Wonders, can't remember either of the names they are on my Christmas playlist (112 songs)
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

There's some crazy talk going on here.
Selection boxes are the only acceptable thing to be consumed on Christmas morning.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

See I save them til boxing day
OOO I'm a bit peckish, oh look a sockful of chocolate. NOM NOM. And me and my dad always buy each other a box of Thorntons special toffee.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I'm sorry Bobby but that's just wrong. I'm afraid I shall be having words with the Queen and suggesting that, as Defender of the Faith, she casts you out of Christendom.
I know it seems harsh, but you must learn the error of your ways.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I also open one present on Christmas Eve like the Germans!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:59, Reply)

^ euphemism?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

hahaha
No but if it was here is some more info for you to cringe over. I get him the Thorntons Special Toffee Nut variety and he gets me the raisin one.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

no way
my mum has a tradition of cooking a ham on christmas eve, which we tuck into on toast with mustard on christmas morning.

Then it is irish coffee and present opening time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

you can tell no children in your family :)
younger siblings are up by five, downstairs ripping open their presents and as Cave Duck knowledgably pointed out stuffing their faces with selection boxes. Then it's time for the big Christmas breakfast
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I've got a 1ish year old niece
that's it. I'm next youngest.

My eldest brother is the one who gets most excited though. He's 36.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Thanks to insomnia
I'm generally awake by five on Christmas morning anyway. But over the years I decline to dash downstairs and open my presents.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:05, Reply)

God there was none of that when I was a child.
1. 7am: children into parents' room with stockings.
2. Open stockings
3. Breakfast
4. Church (until old enough to stay at home on our own) to see father 'live'
5. Help prep lunch/lay table/sherry (after age 14)
6. Lunch
7. 'Big' presents
8. Film on television - usually The Snowman accompanied by howls of derision from brother and me
9. Argument
10. Cheeky joint out of bedroom window (after age 14)
11. Kip
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

with in
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

ha!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

You are an ill, ill man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Admirable restraint
I doubt you could make my siblings not open their presents until the afternoon. Apart from that your day is almost identical. Church for those who didn't go to Midnight Mass, prepping lunch, The Snowman.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:03, Reply)

We had no choice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

unlucky
but then I do have a large family, I imagine yours was not. More difficult to control
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

A roasted vegetables and goat's cheese panini. Followed a sizable slice of self satisfaction at having walked past the ace cake shop without going in.
My lunchtime excursion also featured a tramp who was wearing what appeared to be a pristine pair of old skool Adidas Samba trainers.

Alt Q:
1. Christmas: Decoratig the tree with the family - even the rabbits had their own decorated tree last year, buying the presents and generally having time together, particularly as my step-daughter is now away at University. Two weeks off work, enjoying booze and foodand Phil Spector's A Christmas Gift To You album.

2. My birthday: It's in summer as all birthdays should be, (sue your parents if yours isn't) having people round, sitting in the garden. People buying me interesting bottles of beer.

3. New Year: It's a big loada nowt, really.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I made cupcakes for everyone in the office
and whilst they all stuffed them down complaining about their ruined diets, I sanctimoniously ate an apple.

Hehe.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Good work. The shop in question does ace cupcakes. It's probably quite like what your shop will be like.

(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

But then you complain about them being fat, sweaty lazy heifers
and the vicious cycle continues.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

she's a feeder

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

fe pa
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)