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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Following peer pressure from myself...
NEW THREAD.

Now, TGB/Lab is a Shithead thinks that Amberl, Applebite, Kitty and I are all interchangeable. Well, you can find out how well you can distinguish them with a quick and simple quiz.

www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=can-you-distinguish-members-laak

Of course, you could just...not.

Alt Q: What has made you laugh til you cried recently? Or cry til you laugh? Or show any emotion EVER?
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:35, 230 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

kitty and applebite are the ones who NEVER shut up about poledancing, the fat, quasi-slaggy shits
Amberl's the one with the tits and the pointy jaw.

Easy as that.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/quizreport.php?title=can-you-distinguish-members-laak&sid=OTA3OTc2Ng==
2 out of ten, talk about shit
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:40, Reply)

oh, and lampito's the one who's easier than becky
with the perfectly round physique and hair like she's wearing a mop
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

TERMINAL FLOUNCE SYSTEM ENGAGED
YOU HAVE ONE WEEK TO REACH MINIMUM SAFE DISTANCE
otherwise you'll get autism all over you.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

shush
bald virgin, etc
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Nice work.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

virgin, bald
would you like to meet my sister?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Not really, thanks all the same.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I would, haven't seen her in a long time for obvious reasons
I'll probably never see her or my other two half sisters again, probably for the best though
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

that's actually made me feel sad, I'm sad now

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I thought you weren't actually allowed to see them again
what with being on the sex offenders register and all.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I was on it for 2 years, it was only a caution
I'm leaving them alone out of what little decency I have left. I know that the one I slept with might understand, and the youngest would probably want to see me and my little 'un again, but it's best for everyone if we don't.
The eldest and their mum quite rightly hate the bones of me too, so you know.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

So do I.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

that's a bit strong, monty
as far as I'm aware you have no reason to actually hate me
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Oh yes he has.
You insufferably common little oik.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Are you fucking serious?

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 13:28, Reply)

yeah, what did I ever do to upset you Mister?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I got ten out of ten
on my first go (this is definitely a lie)
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Only 6 out of 10.
Some of those were lies.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Like which?

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

haha
you got the hottest question wrong didn't you?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Yep.
And kitty does like to punch "disableds"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:40, Reply)

hahahahahaha yes he did

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I'm going to guess
that he picked Applebite :D
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Everyone's fucking picked applebite
that should lift her out of the amalgamation that is LAAK
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

You know what my answer to it
was the first time round haha
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

It's ok, it makes them all perverts since I'm the youngest.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I picked myself in the hope it would display stats at the end so I wouldn't look like a total uggo :(

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

HA!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

this is brilliant
now I'm left with 0. Where's the solidarity Kitty?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Sorry Amberl, I assumed you would get lots of clicks for boobage
from the I LIKE BREASTS club members.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Who has kissed the most b3tans?
A. Lampito (your answer)

100% answered this correctly
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Yup.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Bert's sister

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Morning Mr Boyce
hope you're keeping well.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Hello there
I'm utterly fucked but fine and dandy, thank you. You?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I'm not too bad, thanks
Did you manage to get the flutes in the end, or was it little plastic beakers?
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Nah, fucking regular wine glasses had to do.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Be nasty if one smashed
y'know, while you're fucking it
(

broadsword, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

So you fucked the wine glasses?
Oh Mont. That's sad :(
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I heard that those wine glasses have a clit like a soggy aubergine

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

They were surprisingly tender lovers - even more so than Chompy last Thursday,

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

only one that I know of
and your new girlfriend already topped that.

Now, if we're talking number of AIDs-infected africans...
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

With your multiple personality disorder you count for about 10.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

that's all it takes
so I hear
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

8 out of 10
Alt Q: Scott Pilgrim vs The World made me excitedly shout "YORRR!" in the cinema.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

10/10

I went to visit my friend in Wrexham yesterday, it was muchos fun, even if they do have a really creepy basement. His housemate is hilarious, second time I've met him, second time he's made me laugh to the point of crying.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

A creepy basement?
Was this guy called Fritzl?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

No, but the landlord might be.
It's got a deflated air bed and a bedside lamp in it, and there are airholes in the door and a lock on the outside of it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

The landlord was possibly trying to make an extra buck by letting out the basement as a bedroom
but with the option to lock in the tenant if (s)he didn't pay the rent.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I laughed a huge amount last night
until I almost couldn't breathe. It was quite nice
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Combined your tickle fetish
With erotic asphyxiation?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Oh god no
both of those things sound terrifying.

It was a really stupid thing to laugh so much at. I was just joking around with my mother, and she said something totally out of character
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I got 3 out of 10 which I reckon is pretty good as I have no idea who any of you are
emotion is for the weak
(

broadsword, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:40, Reply)

which ones did you get right?

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Kissed, corset, sexiest

(

broadsword, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I got 3 as well
prooving it doesn't matter how much time you spend on here the laws of averages will give you 3/10
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

That's more the law of You're Shit

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I think we all know who is shit around here

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

*waves*

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Rubbish score there
which ones did you get right?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I dunno I started just clicking the fourth answer

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

5 out of 10
which I reckon is pretty good for a semi newbie.

I thought Lamps was the youngest though.
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Nope,
It's me, by a week.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Well done you for hanging on in there and staying in that fanny for a whole extra week!
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I was almost a week late and all.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

you must have really liked it up there

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I can understand that
Not necessarily Applebite's mum's fanny, right enough.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Nah, I've always been an awkward, selfish little shit.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

8/10
I said you like to punch wookie, not everyone, and applebite is the sexiest of the four.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I said she likes to punch THE FACE

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

i said cock
it was wrong
(

zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I chose the obvious 'everyone, motherfucker' option
So as not to offend 3 of the 4. Or maybe make 3 of the 4 sigh with relief.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I knew that was clearly a lie
and I don't like liars.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I chose a little white lie
In order to be gracious.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I'll change the fucking question then, if you want
-sigh-
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Why?
I'm happy with my answer.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

That sort of graciousness is never going to get you a look at applebites breasts.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Damnit

(

broadsword, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Speaking of breasts
Did you see yesterday that Britney's ex bodyguard is suing her because she used to parade around naked in front of him?

I don't see the problem with that kind of behaviour, myself.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Have you seen the pics of her growler?

(

broadsword, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Yes, ages ago

(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

You're my favourite, Al.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

8 out of 10
I put Monty for the Lampito likes to punch question
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I'm glad
people seem to forget I punched Monty
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I don't.
Every time the metal plate I had to have inserted into my head (following your brutal assault) itches, I remember.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Same

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

good score there
I answered wookie for that question
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

6 out of 10
But that's probably because I've never met any of you, hardly know any of you and can't tell most people on here apart from each other in the first place.

So really, I probably wasn't in the best position to take the quiz.
(

Kroney, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

5/10 Meh.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I think playing Mariokart has made me laugh the most recently
that's a bit sad
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

i got 3 out of 10
what do i win?
(

zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

an evening with Bert

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

:O
/honoured
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

hmm
tempting as that is, might be washing my hair that night
(

zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

E. All of them, motherfucker

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Arf

(

broadsword, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

7/10, woo!

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

kiss ass

(

zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

8/10.
Not bad given I've only met one of you in real life.

EDIT: Just realised I've been cheated out of a point! I would have got 9/10 if you'd been a bit more thorough with your 'possible answers.'

Alt Q: The only emotions I have experienced recently are RAGE and briefly FEAR. (Though more recently some JOY, vicariously, for the positive developments in Monty's love-life.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Did you see Monty having sex (RAGE)
then see him look at you with those come to bed eyes whilst still bumping and grinding (FEAR tinged with AROUSAL)
then when you realised that he was actually having sex with you and the reason you couldn't feel it was because of the Rohypnol (JOY)
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I mentioned nothing about AROUSAL, dear boy.
The only time I have recently experienced AROUSAL was when I first caught a glimpse of you, clean-shaven, from across the street the other night, and realised what a magnificently sexy CHIN you have.

This was followed by DISAPPOINTMENT as I saw your lovely lady-wife and knew that CHIN could never be mine...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

NEEDS MOAR GEORDITUDE

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

How about a new pic of Fat Al?

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I prefer this one
Kinda NSFW
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Winnerrrrrrrrrrrr!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

That is quite horrific

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I have a worse version
For if you're mean to me.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

O_O
...
:D
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Fat Al is funny because it looks like Al.
This does not look like Al.
This is not funny.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Fat al could concievably be an actual photo of me altered with photoshop.
I would never be able to sit on that mans shoulders.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

You idiot, you should know what my drink of choice is by now

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Cider and Black or Long Island Iced Tea depending on availability, naturally,
but for some reason my addled brain thought you had a weakness for Southern Comfort as well.

Now what about my extra point?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

And the gin.
I do have a little weakness for SoCo, but it's Applebite that practically swims in the stuff. I;ve never seen her drink anything else. That I can remember.

You can have the point of my high heel into your eye.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Apart from at that pub for Al's bash and they didn't have any.
It was very distressing.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

You had faux So Co though, I think
(I wish I could have said "know")
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Sam Smith's pubs never have any known brands of spirit on their shelves
But I'm sure if you ask for "the most revoltingly sweet whisky liquer you have," they'll find a close approximation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I asked for the closest thing they had
It was horrible :(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

What did you learn?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Not to go to Sam Smith's pubs?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

NO NO NO
I was about to say you'll come to one in a couple of weeks, but then remembered YOU SUCK.

:(
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Is she not coming to Davros' bash?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

No, I think she is
she's just not coming for my birthday night out.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Burn
I also have not been invited.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

She didn't invite me either
I hope she's fucking lonely
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Are you under 22?
If not, you will hate Candybox.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Why?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Is that the collective burlesque name for LAAK?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

No it's her pet name for her vagina

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Excellent.
Next bash in a Sam Smith's pub, everybody?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

:(
And you've not even met me.
AND I found you that crow chair.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I jest, I was simply being facetious.
_{(Which is why I have also been on the receiving end of Lampito's fists)}

We'll have to find you something else to drink in them. It's the least I can do in return for finding The Crow Chair.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Or we could go to a better pub?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Well, Davros' bash is in a Shepherd Neame pub
A vaguely classy establishment, even. At least by comparison to the Chandos.

Though the Chandos famously has its doorway impeded by couples eating off one another's faces on a Friday evening, so I suspect the b3tan shenanigans weren't especially out of the ordinary.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Fuck off and die.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I have the sneaking suspicion I'm due a severe face-punching...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I might come to that
it's been a while
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Please do,
I would actually like to meet you, and it would be nice not be the most hated person in the room.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

let me know where, as long as it's not a weekend I can do it

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

It's a weekend

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

next one then
or I'll start my own and they can form an orderly queue
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

bert isn't as bad in RL
as he is a pathettic little skinny toerag who doesn't have the balls to be a cunt to peoples faces
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

how much do you want to bet?
I was alienating myself and being a cunt IRL long before I ever fucked ym life up or found B3ta
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I'd like to see how long he lasts without being assaulted.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I'd like this

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Long Island Iced Tea is magnificent

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

You're lucky I've retired from writing "Bumder Alerts"

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Your limp wrists never could take all that typing

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I don't think I mentioned
that I had a slow comfortable screw followed by a screaming orgasm.

Hence wandering around Camden depressed out of my skull... :/
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Haha

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I agree
there are only a few cocktails that are better: The Screaming Blue Motherfucker and the Painmeister being two of them
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

you haven't even drunk the Painmeister!

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I can tell it's going to be good though

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

What's a painmeister?

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Apparantly
champagne and Jaegermeister mixed together
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Oh sweet merciful Jesus...
I have to try it!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

GIN

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

YOU WIN EVERYTHING, AGAIN

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

YES!
I'm just too good.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Does anyone know mine?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Please let it be bleach

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

that was kind of mean.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I'm just annoyed you haven't had a hissy fit about me saying no to that event you didn't invite me to.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I thought it was quite funny
I did call you annoying though.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

You're lucky I didn't accuse you of buying friends in relation to your message to applebite.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

why do you think I'm skint all the time?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Oh come on
even I knew that. I don't even know why.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Only reason I managed to remember Applebite's is because I saw her status about it being cheap the other day
So texted my friend telling her about it, she now has 6 bottles. Weird girl.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

7/10
But I maintain that I deserve an extra point, as "me" should have been an acceptable answer for question 7.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I'm sorry, I've been punching other people.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Hussy!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I can't even say you were my first
but yours meant the most to me

as in, the only one people got upset over
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Your's?
DEAD TO ME.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Saddest of sad faces.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

2/10
I'm clearly rubbish.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

inversely, thats probably a good thing

(

zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

And you're only finding this out now?

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

He makes up for it with his MASSIVE cock
or so I hear.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I can think of much worse epitaphs

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Can you imagine it on the gravestone
Here lies PJM, died [whenever], aged [however many] years.

He was rubbish.

But his cock was enormous.

RIP.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

This^

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Don't we all

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Alt Q:
Sitting chatting after a meal with friends, one of our party recounted something they'd read in a book about poor families in Belfast in days of yore when women would basically have kids until they dropped dead. The book mentioned one old woman (mother to small army) who was sat by the fire one evening, decided to get up to make a cup of tea ... and her uterus fell out. Apparently she didn't bat an eyelid, just scooped it up with a shovel and threw it on the fire.

I don't know if this is true or even possible but it had me in tears and near hysterical laughter which took hours to subside.

You're welcome.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

10/10
I have outsourced my emotions to an Indian corporation.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

does that not result in hilarious mixups?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

What about the inevitable time delay?
I mean, you hear a joke at 9am and can't laugh about it until 3pm given that your sense of humour now works Indian office hours.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Wouldn't it be the other way round?
India's 6 hours ahead of us, so he'd be laughing for ages before he'd even heard it.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

You're right.
Rises in the East, sets in the West.

Total time-zone fail from PJM here :-(
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I watched Diego Forlan's winner against us in the Europa League final in May the other day
I didn't cry but I did have to sit outside chain smoking in silence whilst staring into space for about half hour.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Same with me with Barcelona's two offside goals against us in the Champions League final. Still makes me moody today.
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Yeah but you'll get to at least two or three more cup finals again in your lifetime.
We won't. We won't even play in Europe again let alone get to a European final. Those European trips were the most fun I've ever had (running round German brasshouses singing mid nineties sitcom theme tunes whilst getting chased by ponytailed doormen will stay with me forever) and I'll never get to do them again.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

That's a valid point I suppose.
I still maintain supporting Arsenal is the most frustrating thing on the planet. So close all the time but constantly fucking it up.
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Better getting close than never doing anything of any note ever.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I got 2/10
FUCK YES. I've not met any of you though.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Tsk.
No more bread for those swans.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

They were having a right honkathon
last night.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Are they still unwell?

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Fully sick
honk honk honk

sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs338.ash2/61840_10150268509560133_576630132_14631887_5952872_n.jpg
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

+5 points for the Volcom shirt

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

+10 for being Lab.
+5 for knowing Volcom might be the best brand on Earth.
+2 for wanting my Volcom pants.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I have Volcom pinstripe trousers for work
They are AWESOME.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

My Volcom snowboarding jacket is the best coat I ever had

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I only got 8/10 and I'm Kitty,
belm. I got Lampito's punching question right, but I thought she was the youngest.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

So, statistically speaking,
there's a 1 in 5 chance that, at any given time, you might mistake yourself for Amberl, Applebite or Lampito?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I'd better not introduce myself to anyone at the bash then

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

no no, you're LAAK

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I dislike you.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

lies on the INTERNET

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

which other one did you get wrong?

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

She thought she was the sexiest

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

This is surely FACT!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

It is indeed, I did pick me!

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

you're only saying that because her weight problem is probably a result of low self esteem, and you think you have a chance

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Dude, everyone's been there.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I hate you.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

you're thinking of me
wrong member of LAAK you're talking to
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

you're jaws, she's tubby
don't try to confuse me, Jimmy
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Still wrong
no wonder you scored so badly
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I've seen pictures of you on flikr
you're definitely the chubster with an action man jaw
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I haven't!
I've only been with Monty. Gentle lover.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Ok, I can schedule you in for...
let's see...I've got a spare slot (ha!) Tuesday evening, is that convenient?
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Alt Q: Witnessing a near punch up outside The Treasury buildings this morning...
...between an angry cyclist and a bloke in a Nissan Cockstain 4x4 who was on his phone at the time.

Seeing two middle aged men shouting "khant!" at one another within earshot of No 10 Downing Street can't fail to amuse.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

It's like Blair/Brown all over again.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

+1 for Chompy's humour level rating

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

LEVEL UP!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

It was as sad to witness Cameo reduced to appearing in adverts for spirit levels
as it is to see Ray Parker Jnr doing his stuff for 118 118.
(Cave Duck, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

^ I actually physically winced at this

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Laughter?
Hm. While on holiday there was a really terrible flamenco show on in the town square which we could hear in the hotel room.
We started to sing along making up really bad stories, wailing and clapping.
Most of this was to piss of the Spanish neighbours who would have the telly on very loud until 2 or sometimes 3 in the morning.
Our version of flamenco became so bad we ended up rolling on the bed howling with laughter.
The neighbours turned the tv down.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

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