I've just cocked up some important emails
And spent the last half hour grovelling to a couple of very disgruntled writers. Bugger.


What have you cocked up recently?

Y/M not applicable.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:18, 118 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Life.
And my liver.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:20, Reply)

5/10
Needs more detail.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Personal finances and budgeting

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Oh and I've tried to make a calculation timer in excel
which stays at 23:59:59 and then crashes the macro and corrupts the file.
Not a great sucess.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Welcome to my world.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

*tries to leave quickly*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

TOO LATE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Welcome to the world of BOYCE

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Job interviews
And owning a car without breaking it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I have that problem on Mafia 2.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I bought a shiny new car last weekend
and I've driven it once so far whereas mrs al has driven it every day this week. Now I realise that the reason I bought the car was so that she would save money on fuel for her commute and we would only have one lot of service and tax costs. But still, it's my car and the more she drives it, the less shiny it gets.

And she eats pretzels in it and crumbs get everywhere.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:28, Reply)

*sadface*
The once pristine interior of my car is covered in crumbs, used car parking tickets and boys' rugby paraphenelia.

I feel your pain.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:32, Reply)

mine is full of tissues and crumbs from granola bars and the like
do women have no idea that a car should be clean and tidy?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

It's revenge for the toilet seat.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I always put mine down
"You're a terrible toilet seat".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I pretty much always close the thing right down

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I thought my car was getting really dirty inside
Then a friend got in, and she commented 'Wow, this is really tidy compared to my car'. Made me feel rather better/worried about the standards of others.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

excuse me, the inside of my car is immaculate.
the outside, due to me having to drive past a dairy to leave and get to my house, is rather filth covered though... :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Mine is full of mud and dog hair.

( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Well if you must go dogging....

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Hahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

*Rolls eyes*
It's a car. It's for getting from A to B. Yes, periodically it needs cleaning up.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

It's the whole crumbs thing...
...crumbs in the car and crumbs in my side of the bed.

At the very least you could save me a croissant/cookie/danish rather than taunting me with discarded relics of said snack.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Domestic abuse, there's EVERY excuse

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:44, Reply)

That sounds like the tagline to a government information film
presumably one from the 50s.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

My adult life.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

and you've had plenty to ruin!
LOLD
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I'm going to punch you in the tits for that, birthday or no birthday.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

A sideways swing, like a rabbit punch
Is good for getting a Newton's Cradle effect, but if the lady is suitably endowed then a traditional uppercut can have the added bonus of nailing her in the face with her own tit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

*Spits coffee*

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I was thinking more like
the two handed 'boxing training ball' thing
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Aren't you thinking of circle-jerks?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

shit band.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Magnificent.
*applauds*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Here speaks the voice
Of an experienced domestic abuser.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

do the women you know
not wear bras?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I will have you know
That I haven't given a proper tit-punch since my uni years, when it was considered 'jovial banter' with a friend.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I read that as "when I was considered a jovial butler"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

"I was covered in jovial butter"?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I buttle to no man, woman or beast!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

"stop buttling yourself"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I had an overwhelming urge to to bestow this ancient practise on a girl at work
I actually liked her, but she had such enormous, pendulous titties that I would love to have seen the effect gravity AND violence would have had on them.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

It would look something like a Hanna & Barbera animation I imagine
Only with more boobage.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

So, like anime?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Or like a more violent version
of the Worst Wedding DJ Ever youtube video.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Everything
but especially this file I accidentally ruined by trying to open it as a wordpad document in Word :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I spotted that on facebook
didn't you manage to rescue any of it at all? :(
(berk, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

no :(
I had two copies one on USB and the other on computer and both of them have different sets of gibberish, and don't want to open
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Take solace in this:
Someone on my course managed to mess up their files 3 days before the final deadline last May. They cried a lot for some reason.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:40, Reply)

That is really shit
I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, but you have my sympathy. Was it very important?
(berk, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Not hugely
about 4 to 5000 words. I just can't be bothered to redo it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Run a search on your machine for files ending in .asd
They're Word automated recovery files, used for if Word crashes while you're writing a doc. They sometimes hang around, so you might get lucky and find an older version of your document.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Thanks
I'll try that. The problem came when I cut and pasted a wordpad document into a Word file then autosaved
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Hmm, gaz me a section of the gobledeegook text?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

have done so

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

my head. My poor poor head
and my stomach, and sense of balance- i've walked into walls about 15 times so far today, AND i can't walk properly. My motor skills are shit today.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Brilliant night then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Hurrah!
Did you chin anyone?

I've posted this already but I thought you looked great last night. Your hair is vastly improved since you ditched the 'mentally unstable clown' effect.

all your mates looked like extras from 'Skins' and they got on my fucking wick with their short lives and potential.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

stop that this instant
edit: much better
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

It's a wonderfully backhanded compliment
"You look good compared to how shit you used to look"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

*winks*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

hahaha
damned by faint praise
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:43, Reply)

To be honest it was hilariously bad

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Perfect example of asteism there!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Thank you.
And that's a new word for me and I fucking love it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Only learnt it recently
It's a keeper.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Nope, but I did bail and cut my knees!
I've not looked over the threads yet but thank you. The orange was fun but on balance I prefered the black or purple. Thanks for coming along!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Oh great, yet ANOTHER social garla where my "invitation got lost in the post".
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Happy (belated) Birthday Lampito
Did you have a good night?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I had an excellent night thank you!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Happy meeting you day!
For yesterday. How drunk did you get and did you punch anyone?

Who was the girl with red hair?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

1. Nice to meet you too!
2. Very.
3. No.
4. She's my friend the Flame Haired Sex Pot. She's hot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

He was saying some frankly disgusting things
about her secondary education after we left.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:20, Reply)

I assume GCSEs are euphemisms for something nasty.
Are you gutted you didn't take me up on that offer to set you two up? :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I'm sure Monty said you were behaving quite demurely earlier
I guess that changed after he'd left, then?
(berk, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:41, Reply)

I got my booze on.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

"AND i can't walk properly."
good night then?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Drunk?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:43, Reply)

OMG why didn't I know it was your birfday?
HAPPY BIRFDAY!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I cocked up walking down some stairs
and have tweaked my back. Eugh. Welcome to the fuzzy world of dihydrocodeine...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

*belms*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

totally just tripped over a water hose and almost faceplanted into concrete
I don't like this week
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

everything i've touched today i think
Vodka is evil. Also left brand new blackberry on small child's desk during volunteer reading and managed to teach him about 3 new swearwords when I realised this.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:07, Reply)

*facepalms*

( Kroney, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Good work.
I spent last weekend making my daughter repeat 'I'm Scottish' several times to annoy her Greek mother when I'm not there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

using a child as a stealth missile
i approve of this low skulduggery.

i shall make our children chant football songs at you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:20, Reply)

The day this happens
I will do a 'princes in the tower' on them.

By the way, when are we getting cracking with creating these poor, doomed souls?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:24, Reply)

no you won't
you'll think it's adorable, however loud and annoying and repetitive and snotty-nosed they are when they are chanting UNITED, UNITED in your face. this seems to happen to people with their own offspring.

my ovaries are all yours.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Excellent news.
I'll keep them on the shelf next to BobbyPires' kidney.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:31, Reply)

i'll hang onto them for now then
don't want them getting corrupted
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I've cocked up nothing
Apart from noticing I've put an order on twice so I have too many boxes.. I reckon I can hide this fact.

My boss however is a fucking massive cockhead who is off today and as such I am having to deal with all the fucking mess caused by her unreasonable promises to customers.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Maybe this shall cheer you up?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:33, Reply)

ha love it

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Next time you see her, punch her in the vag
and call her a cunt.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Oi oi Lusty!
All well and good I hope?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Yups.
Though I have been stuck in the flat all day waiting for the plumber to have a look at me pipes.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Didn't you have the problem the other week?
And then they came on a day no-one was in?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Yeah.
In a nutshell my landlord is a bit of a mong.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Kick them in their genitalia
And push them down some stairs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Ahhh man I love doing that.
I'll be all like POW! Take that you landlordy wanker.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:40, Reply)

LUSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
How are you?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I'm very well Mrthegeordie.
How the devil are you old chap?
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I'm good thanks
are you coming to Davros's birthday bash?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I hope so.
I really really want to, but not sure if I can get the night off work yet :(
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

But what will your boyfriend do if you don't come?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

it's never troubled him in the bedroom!
hahahahhahahaha
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Probably cop off with about ten other really hot chicks
if I know that dynamite-lovin' sex-master.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

There are a lot of
us them about.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I'll just get my wrench out
Morning petal :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

A reasoned and sensible approach.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I think so.

( wanderlust, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)