WEEEEEEEEEEKEEEEEENNNNNND?
Mine:

1) tonight, pop home and see my wondrous professionally-cleaned flat
2) go to ex's and look after child overnight
3) look after child in morning and then take her out, to spend a few hours with my mother and her 'partner' (3rd time my mother has met my daughter, 1st time without Cruella breathing down our necks
4) go for best pizza I've had outside Italy
5) couple of hours embarrassing silence with lezzas
6) cousin's wedding party in Clapham
7) vomiting
8) pleasant Sunday spent with "young lady"
9) PROFIT
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:37, 147 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Tidying the house
Steam cleaning furniture.
Carpet cleaning.
No booze.

This is going to be a shit weekend.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:38, Reply)

haha you want a FREE PROFESSIONAL CLEANER like me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Is this where the council has to go in because someone has died?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I NEED TO BUY BOXER SHORTS
I realised this when I found that I only have 6 pairs that I actually like, and the rest I wear as a last resort.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Birthday
If I can escape I will.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Your birthday?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Stop copying me before I post, you sphincter.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Your own?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:42, Reply)

indeed my own
what little soul I have is fucking right off as the clock strikes twelve
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Did you man up and get some hot action?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:43, Reply)

he hasn't replied
sad sad times
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Start going mental and texting him every 10-15 minutes.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

It's never worked before
and if I get another restraining order I won't be allowed out on Sundays
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

HAHA you're not attractive enough to get an ugly single man!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

this would be funny
if it weren't true
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Man up, you're attractive.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

ZOMG White Knighting!
But what does it mean?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Two rainbows.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Good man

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

That's not what Al said
keep an eye out for my revenge in the papers
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

See, Chompy's an ugly single man and he totally would.
/pot-kettle
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

She surely is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

that actually made my jaw drop in shock at the meanness

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

See, I'm not mean at all compared to Al

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

an iron isn't as hot as a fire but it still burns badger.
this is as close to wisdom as I will ever get. *sigh*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:52, Reply)

wisdom utterly flowery bullshit you think is more profound that it really is

+today
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

also true.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Dude... that's weak even for you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Hang around near where he lives.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:48, Reply)

this.
'accidentally' bump into him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

in his front yard.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Yeah maybe walk past his house every hour and drop some shopping.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

No bloke loves a clumsy chick
Despite what Stephanie Meyer would have you believe.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:57, Reply)

you mean
that if I'm clumsy, yet adorable and a totally idealised personification of the author, complete with Whing-a-tron I'm NOT going to get a man?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I mean this exactly and completely
Clumsy and awkward does not equal necro-bestiality-3somes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I want my money back

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:05, Reply)

No but you might get raped by a wolf.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:04, Reply)

it's what every little girl dreams of
there is excellent precedent in Red Riding Hood
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

*sadfaces*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:06, Reply)

*cackles*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Eh?
How would that help?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

haha ew

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)

My Birthday?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:43, Reply)

When is it I'm DJing at your housewarming party again?
I have to check my bookings, because I do have a lot of them and don't want to double-book.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Maybe 6th of November
not certain yet. I don't own any decks but my pretentious mates can bring their gold plated wank fests over.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:56, Reply)

That's my BFF's birthday so I can't come anyway
thanks for the invite though. How much did those invitations cost, they look expensive.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)

watching motoracing
possibly drinking
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Pawn Stars?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:43, Reply)

hell yeah!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:46, Reply)

To me, motor racing is the worst spectator sport of all time.
Fair enough, on TV, but live? Why? Surely you can't work out what the fuck is going on, unless they have big screens, in which case, why not save your money and watch it on TV?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I feel the same about snooker
I really like watching it on the telly, but the idea of sitting in a theatre and watching it from a distance is ridiculous.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Snooker is about the only sport (is it a sport?)
I don't mind watching on television. It's one of the last civilised sports, it seems. I saw a player celebrate by doing a Henman 'yesss' motion and the commentators were aghast at his vulgarity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I quite like watching tennis as well
Live and on TV.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

"come on, Tim"


One of the funniest things I've ever seen on TV was someone shouting that out when Murray walked onto the court a year or two back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I was deeply impressed when Ronnie O'Sullivan told them he couldn't bothered finishing his 147
because it'd only get him about £5k.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Despite his being a despicable oik
I like his style. That was very funny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I think most sport live is rubbish
Went to a rugby match, and couldn't see as well as on TV, there was little atmosphere, and no commentary.
Went to golf, had to walk about a lot, and nearly got hit in the face by a golf ball.
Went to a rally stage in a nearby forest, and saw a Lada drive into a tree.

All of these would have been better through watching on tv.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Life would be so much better with multi-angle instant replay.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I once had free tickets to a Renault Racing day
it was a cool experience but I wouldn't fork out shed loads to go see an F1 race. Mainly as I like the bits before where they nose around.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I've been to a couple of F1 races
Monza, Spar and Silverstone. Admittedly the race itself is a bit boring unless (morbidly) you're seated somewhere where action tends to take place. At the Spar grand prix Alonso flipped his car on a corner, that was pretty exciting. But the stuff before hand is pretty cool, at Monza there was the Porsche rally and there are all the stands as well, the guy I was with managed to change a ferrari tyre in their allotted racing time so he got a bottle of champagne.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:11, Reply)

*cough*Spa*cough*
Not to be confused with Leamington Spa, best of all the Spas
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:12, Reply)

bff's grandfather [basically her father, raised her from birth] is about to die
I expect this to be a bad weekend
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:42, Reply)

That's most sad, sorry to hear it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

yeah thanks
it'll likely turn into lots of drinking
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

See?
Always a silver lining.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

other than the death, it's no different than any other weekend

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

1) tonight, pop home and see my wondrous professionally-cleaned flat

- GAY

2) go to ex's and look after child overnight

- GAY DAD

3) look after child in morning and then take her out, to spend a few hours with my mother and her 'partner' (3rd time my mother has met my daughter, 1st time without Cruella brething down our necks

- GAY DAD

4) go for best pizza I've had outside Italy

- GAY FOOD

5) couple of hours embarrassing silence with lezzas

- nuff said

6) cousin's wedding party in Clapham

- Clapham? GAYham more like

7) vomiting

- GAY

8) pleasant Sunday spent with "young lady"

- GAY - it'll be a young man

9) PROFIT

- GAY
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I read that as 'nom nom nom, more lard please waiter'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I read that as "MORE COCK! GO ON! SHOVE MORE COCK UP MY QUIVERING ANUS! SHOVE IT IN! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BLEEDING! KEEP SHOVING IN THAT COCK!"

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:46, Reply)

USE LARD AS LUBE!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

WE SHUD LIEK TOTALLY GET 2GEVA N STUFF! WE WUD B PERFECT 4 EACH UVA!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

You do that too well.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Real feelings are always sincere

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Driving to Manchester to drop off nephew at his fathers.
Getting another tattoo done.
Tapas and pub with parents and sister.

Sunday re-sealing the bath and sink.
Epic walk along canal with parents and dogs.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

try not to toss them in this time

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

*sigh*
in off
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Woo for tattoo!
I want pics immediately after it's done!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Will do : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

me too please

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'll facebook them.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:52, Reply)

immediately?
bit gory
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:12, Reply)

"Sunday re-sealing the bath and sink."
Dear God, talk about burning the candle at both ends
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

It's all mouldy : (
It's got to the stage where I can't put it off any more.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

That stuff is a pure bastard to get off though
The silicone shitfuck
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

My dad is helping doing it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)

1. play poker tonight
2. band practice tomorrow then flicks tomorrow
3. sort out uni stuff for monday.
4. massive drugs
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

good lad
my drumming is improving. Some of it was almost respectable last night.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

this is good news
It's bloody good fun and rythm is just cool.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Going out with work people tonight
which I'm not looking forward to because they only want to go in pretentious bars so they can be seen by the other pretentious people who are there to be seen. So I'm going to sneak off as soon as I can.

Tomorrow I'm getting my bits waxed and then going to my BFF's for tea. I bought her a Dance Mat for the Wii for her birthday so I want to go and play on it.

Sunday I'm having afternoon tea with someone who says she's going to make cupcakes and I'm sure she's just trying to best me.

Then ?? and Profit of course
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:47, Reply)

school has fire drill
Turns out 5 year olds LOVE firedrill. Argh get them off me.

Weekend - tonight gym then thai, tomorrow family are down so toy shopping and big easy crabshack for frozen margaritas later, sunday am having a roast cooked for me. May have forgotten to mention small matter of vegetarianism. Hell.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Eat the chicken.
I did.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

but i am too fussy
No me gusta!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

If the meal is on Sunday
It's not too late to mention the fact you don't do animal.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:53, Reply)

im
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

eat choke
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:57, Reply)

If only.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

i.m noit a 13 year old boy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Doesn't have to be your own chicken, silly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:01, Reply)

looks more like a turkey neck anyway

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Mine's more 'ostrich'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

did you see that thing in the news about Johnny Depp turning up at a school in London because a little girl wrote him a letter
he was dressed as Capt Sparrow
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I just saw that on the news
It reminded me why I hate precocious children.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Seeing my lady tomorrow
Clearing out a pond in Winchester.
Posh nosh in Romsey in the evening.
Brownsea Island on Sunday to frighten the Red Squirrels.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:52, Reply)

This post has too many euphemisms.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

You have a sick mind.
I left the sex bit out, as Monty might chunder at the thought of a fat bloke having real coitus.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:56, Reply)

He doesn't like it when ugly birds flirt with him either.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Good job you don't fall into that category then.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I know.
I can flirt with impunity.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Flirt away, you ravishing beau-tang.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

*flutters eyelashes*
*flicks hair from face*

*flashes a nip*
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Stay away from my home town and its surrounding area, you fat cunt.

Where are you eating in Romsey?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Here
www.berties.co.uk/
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:57, Reply)

are you going there
with your halfsister?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

haha that took a few seconds

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I don't have a half sister
*Wonders what you are on about*

Edit: I see now.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Pfft
Eating out with Bertie can never end well...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I've eaten there, it's not bad at all.
My night was marred by my taking a rather brash and frankly common 'date' who drank way too much and laughed too loudly throughout.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Yeah, we have been before, when it had just started.
It's a birthday meal, so I hope it is good again.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

La Parisien in Romsey is also good if you like french food.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

We've been there, it is good too.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Tonight: Mumford & Sons in London, Hammersmith I think.
Tomorrow, sleep then to Woking for a big party full of lots of my greatest friends and two DJs (hip hop and funky house).
Sunday, fry-up then sleep then chores and cooking.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Hip hip hooray?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Indeed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:01, Reply)

'Funky House'
Two words that guarantee an absolute cunt of a night.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:04, Reply)

It's more like disco and breaks
but I wanted to keep it simple.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Oh yeah apart from the birthday
I also have an exam on that day, and it's history dinner tonight.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Tonight I have been invited to a hen night
Tomorrow I'm off to the Czech Republic.
On Sunday I shall hopefully still be in the Czech Republic, assuming they don't take an instant dislike to me and deport me, or I don't accidentally wander over the border into Slovakia or Germany.

Doesn't sound all that exciting, but I'm looking forward to it...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Foreign travel wins this thread.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I'm probably going to come back pickled
My Russian friend organised this, and whilst he's not the heaviest of drinkers, I have noticed that he booked accommodation very close to his favourite tavern from his last visit. And is leaving his girlfriend here.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:04, Reply)

a guy on a hen night?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
( zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Crow's not a guy.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)

no but her russian friend is

( zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Now look, I might be a limp-wristed, slack-holed cumbucket
But I still have a penis. Just.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:10, Reply)

A veritable pyrrhocorax.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Well, I do love a bit of rough up my Chough...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:13, Reply)

A bit of Chough love.
My dictionary lists it as "a crow with a reddish beak"- I discovered it when I was writing your birthday card.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Well, that would be the red-billed Chough
(Pyrrhocorax Pyrrhocorax). The other Pyrrhocorax, P. Graculus is the Alpine Chough, which has a yellow beak.

GRATUITOUS CHOUGH PICTURE:

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

He looks Choughed to bits.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I am sadly not the only guy going
Unfortunately this is the sort of thing that happens when the only women you know work in a science department.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Quiet night tonight
Assembling some mix cd's that will be used in anger tomorrow evening at a free party. The weather looks perfect and there should be no sign of any fucking midgies this time, the fucking cunts.

Sunday will be spent still partying till midday or so, then being taken back and poured into my wanking chariot. Possibly get up and inhale a chow mein or just snort a few lines of MSG, similar effect really.

Then I am off for three fucking days, three days that do not invlove looking at a clock before 8am. Glory fucking be.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Did you got to that film?
Review?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Cycle-delivering fast food to people this evening
Followed by a spot of DIY.

Speedy journey to Central London & Camden on Sat morning for DIY supplies, then helping my polish neighour with her wardrobe later on in the afternoon.

Housewarming party, then film , then a quick handshandy before bed and a small ride out to Richmond on Sunday.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

have you ever been knocked off your bike, splattering food all over the road?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

No
I'm an excellent cyclist. Only splattered myself on the road once.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

There is no such thing as "an excellent cyclist"

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

God I've 'splattered myself on the road' loads of times.

For, you see, I am Craig Charles.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

chilling at home with the ankle biter
changing nappies, trying to sleep and maybe a glass of wine
( zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

1. Pub tonight. Hopefully. If not, CSI.
2. Glorious nothing/laying in bed crying desperately.


Your weekend sounds excellent :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:06, Reply)

RE number 5.
Surely you have a lot in common?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I suppose we could talk about lez-pon classics,
like 'Munch-hausen's Syndrome 9'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:11, Reply)

HA!
Watch Vampyros Lesbos
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

The Erotic Witch Project
was my favourite.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

not Womb Raider?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

"Münch-Hausfraus"

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

In no particular order:
Sneezing.
Coughing.
Coughing up green lumps of some alien lifeform; fuck knows what it is but it ain't of this earth.
Aching like a freshly buggered choir boy.
Drinking wine for anaelgesic properties.
Trying to tidy house that has gone to seed thanks to combined family illness.
Sleeping.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:11, Reply)

too gross; didn't read

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Don't blame you.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

This afternoon I am being a Desperate Scousewife
This evening I will either be eating a fine meal that I made with my own fair hands, or waving off the fire engines and phoning a pizza.

Tomorrow I am getting djtp drunk and taking him to biker pubs and rock dives until the wee small hours.

Sunday I am making biscuits an ting then doing my pub quiz. Rah!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

You are eating for two now.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Of course

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Tomorrow morning I will be up bright and early...
...picking mushrooms on top of Minchinhapton/Rodborough Common. (If there are any left)
If anyone cares to join in just be there at 5.30am. By that time I will probably be naked, crying and trying to communicate with cows so please don't say or do anything scary.

The rest of the weekend is somewhat dependent on the success of this operation.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

oh well, in that case:
1. go home and despair and mountains of untouched paperwork, piles of laundry in spare room and half started decoration of living room.
2. assemble wine and dog food for later on in evening, after point 4.
3. get dog lead, poop bag's etc and put lead on dog and leave the house due to point 1.
4. go to pub with dog. hopefully see BF for wee pre-dinner drinkie
5. Go to BF's home for fantastic meal.
6. None of yer business.
7. upon waking, drink copious amounts of tea until hangover subsides then go home.
8.Meet old friends for a dog walk with 2 of my dog's offspring.
9. Frantically try on everything in wardrobe in preparation for point 10.
10. Go to Clapham with BF for party.
11. Drink too much and sing publicly.Again.
12. Leave pub in disgrace and begin arduous trek home with unimpressed BF.
13. Sleep.For a week.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)