<Is nervous>
Hello good people, it's the newbie who isn't Bert here.

Would welcome a quick straw poll. I'm building a website at the moment, can't talk too much about it but it's vaguely social networking based. Do you think it's necessary to build FaceBook apps for sites nowadays, or is that all a bit old hat and easier just to provide the ability for users of my site to "share" on Facebook ?

ALT-Q: One of my favourite authors talks about one's "take away" moment - no, not the joy of a delivered curry, but the moment you would remember and take with you as you left this earth. Will put mine in the replies.

And I promise not to start a new thread again for a while...thanks.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:54, 212 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*Shut up, Bert.
*Well, someone was gonna say it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

The only problem I have with this one is the use of "B4" in his name.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

So you'll happily take the cock of a paying man up your rectum
but use of the term "b4" on an internet site causes you a problem?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Yup.
I find the cock shoved into my quivering botbot a lot less painful.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

True, you can't get lube for your mind

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Lube is for quitters.
I use my own blood and the tears of the poor man rogering me. My porn business is painful to all involved.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)

True say dat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Innit bruv.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

personal experience there Monty?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

He loves using blood as lube

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I needed a fucking transfusion

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

We need to inject 300ml of 'generic lube name' stat!
We're not going to lose this one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Twas only as I didn't know how the site worked
and whether or not I would have to type my username in every time I wanted to do something...I hate txt speak myself...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

THEN CHANGE IT GODDAMN IT.
But preferably not to something like "imnotbertlololol"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Any suggestions for a new name
acceptable to all then ?
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Stick with a name you like.
But you CAN use a space bar, and please use full words.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Sage advice, Lampers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Txt or Text speak?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Spk?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Yes you are.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Where's this fucking "take-away" moment then?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

ooh you've got your halloween name on, yay!
I didn't want to be the first and get shouted at.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Any suggestions names wise?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

'Peter Sutcliffe' definitely

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

dismAmbered?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I like this one
thanks Kitty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Waiting ....

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Still waiting ....

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Bored now ....

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

MORNING AL

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

OH HAI LAMPITO!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Fuck it, you're a useless cunt.
Go away and don't post again.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

It's not halloween yet al
So what's with the early name change?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

It's Halloween
There are costumes in the supermarkets ergo, it must be halloween. Come november it will therefore be christmas.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

According to shops around here it's already Christmas then
HAPPY CHRISTMAS AL!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

WOOOOO!!!!!! Happy Crimbo PoD

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)

*smacks POD with a rolled up newspaper*
NO! NO! Bad penguin
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I felt dirty just typing it

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

shut up Al

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Fuck off Beardy. Go and smug your smug, you smugging smug smugger

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

God, give me a second to type it out
guys...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

You should type itout before you post
then copy and paste
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

^ This
Voice of experience/actually knowing what she's doing.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

OK, will know for next time
I am still wearing my "L" plates !
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Ok, my take away moment...
...was in Nepal, staying in a village with a local family. It was just before the monsoons started - it was a wet day, overcast and the power had gone. I got cabin fever after a few hours and decided to brave the elements, and have a joint (wasn't going to smoke inside). Had joint, put headphones on with some dance music, climbed up to the roof of the house, danced in the rain, eyes closed.

Opened my eyes 5 minutes later, there were 10 kids from the village dancing in front of me, even though only I could hear the music.

Always makes me feel happy to remember that...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Oh yeah!
More massive drugs tales!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Not the greatest story I've never read.
Find better authors.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Wow.
Man takes drugs.
Man behaves as though on drugs.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Sorry
best one I could come up with...I suppose you had to be there. It's all fairly subjective anyway, isn't it ? Couldn't think of a better ALT-Q to ask, apologies...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Man is mocked by children.


I quite like it - it's self-deprecating, at least.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

It would have been better if they had mugged him

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Yes, it was a strange mixture
of mocking and joining in...I think they were as bored as I was, quite frankly...was too gloomy inside to even read...like going camping but miles away from a pub...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I no longer smoke the stuff
so my experience may be out of date, but gear never made me want to climb on roofs and dance, or get up off the sofa, in fact.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I do on a daily basis.
No dancing for me, either.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Yes, but this was the famous
Nepalese hash...best I've ever had...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Unlike all the hash in this country
non of which could possibly have come from Nepal
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

99% of the hash in the UK is from Morocco.
Nepalese is extremely rare and fucking expensive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Well
back in the day before I got "wise" and only started smoking green, I'd smoked a fairish quantity of hash for years from different sources.

I have to say the Nepalese stuff knocked it (plus any hash ever scored in Holland) into a cocked hat. Wonderful stuff...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Some of the finest dope in the world is undoubtedly hashish.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Yes, looking forward to my next
"re-up" as they say on the Wire being some home-made green that isn't Skunk, as the stuff produced now seems to knock my socks off. And it's either that or shitty soap which is just pants. No happy medium...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

It was skunk
that stopped me smoking, shortly after a seizure. I guess if you set that to freeform jazz it could be interpreted as a form of dance.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Look Sheikh, I'm trying to be nice and you're ruining it
DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING WIRE
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

OK
(files away for inner reference. No mentioning the Wire, no quoting lyrics).
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

The Wire is just something I hate
the lyrics thing applies to everyone I think.

Don't let all the yelling discourage you though, stick around
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

this
+ or open my eyes
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Oh, Kitty!
I found a picture of a girl with a central labret that has changed my opinion of them entirely. I quite like them now.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I bet it wasn't a pic of Kitty though

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Hmm.
Judge for yourself.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

hel-lo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

My reaction.
hubbahubbahubba.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I'd say that's a lowbret
As it's below her labret/lip piercing. I had one years back, loved it (as it went nicely with my labret and medusa), but it wore the web bit at the bottom of my lip.
She's very pretty, got some nice tattoos too, though the Mary on her left arm could be a little more detailed imho.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Well, it's a central lip piercing, and it looks really good on her. I don't think a side one would suit her
so I now APPROVE.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Ahh, thought you were talking about the one below the lip ring
I only occasionally wear a ring in mine. What looks better on blokes, stud or ring?
Yes I know that's open to strikethroughs a-plenty
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I prefer rings on girls for definite
But studs can look good on both. I don't tend to pay attention to men's piercings, though. Female facial piercings are a little bit of a turn on, not gonna lie.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

They are to me too
But then I love the alt/tattoo'd/pierced look.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Opinions on Kat Von D?
Personality from Hell, looks from OHMYGODIJUSTCAMEINMYPANTS
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Hmm
Going on looks alone (because the rest is a definite deal-breaker), she's above average, but not insta-spluff worthy by my accounts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

She's fucking insane. And not in a good way
but she can make facial tattoos look pretty damn fine.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

She's got
hod-carrying shoulders. Not on my list of likes.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

She looks alright now
but in about twenty years she is going to look fucking terrible
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

True.
She's obviously present hedonism orientated.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Boing
Although I'm not sold on tattoos. My opinion on the hotness of tattoos changes with the weather.

/public service announcement.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Oddly enough
not really
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Yay!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

FUCK FACEBOOK
AND FUCK YOU TOO
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

^this

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Damn straight

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

My take away moment
might be walking out on stage in front of 3000 cheering paddies. It was quite a feeling.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Was that feeling one of knowing you were better than each and every one of them?
It should have been.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

That is my normal state, wherever I am.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Quite rightly so.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Haha
You win the internet today
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I think he is Bert - can we burn him anyway?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:08, Reply)

He turned me into a Newt!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I'm not, honestly !
Many things I may be, a sister-fucker is not one of them.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

*does fingers/eyes/point thing*
I'm fucking watching you, pal.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

He's not Chinese, you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Is Tuggers Prince Phillip?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

*hopes so*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I think you will find that you're the only 'Queen-Shagger'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

The popular page is a bit shit at the moment,
isn't that right boys and girls.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Looks OK to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Apologies
if I have added to its "shitness". Will not do a new thread for a while, honest...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Oh don't worry,
Al's a frustrated homosexual and gets bitter about it sometimes - it's why he comfort eats all day long.

You seem OK. You're better than Bobby Pires - mind you so was Joseph Mengele.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Did you just confuse me with al?
you fucking cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I'd never be so rude
The poor fellow seems to be struggling ^ up there so I was being nice. I'd never mix you up with that fat bender, don't worry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Thank you for the niceness
Monty. Much appreciated.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I shall only be nice once: enjoy it.
If you turn out to be Bert after all I shall maim you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Look, I could post a picture of my good self
but (a) it's lunchtime and people are going to be eating and (b) if I was Bert, obviously I could do the same thing...but I'm not Bert, and if I am, you can indeed maim me. With extreme prejudice.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Take a new photo, or upload an old one?
If taking a new one, write a sign with the date on it saying "sup /ot" with a crudely drawn cock on it somewhere.

you don't have to do this
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Yes he does

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Happy to send photo to one person
rather than publish it on the board. Although again surely Bert could photoshop it ? But if I need to prove I'm not him, happy to take this approach...do you vet all newcomers this way, or I am particularly Bert-like ?!?
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I joined /ot before this whole Being Bert Monkeysex shenanigans.
But I got similarly hazed on /talk for posting with my L plates.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I looked at /talk
and ran away very very quickly...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Sensible.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Way to groom noncey.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

it's been a very recent thing
you are doing well to stick with it though. unless you are actually bert, in which case you are even more mental than I thought
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Well, you guys / girls seem nice enough
QOTW has given me many a laugh for a while, if you've had strange people on the board, understand the need for caution. Will happily Skype someone so they can see I'm not Bert, but I'm not giving out personal details on the board...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

You don't have to prove anything to these cunts
if they call you bert tell them to fuck off.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

don't worry about it
just carry on as you are. don't be too sensitive to things and you'll be fine.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Oh god that reminds me
I was reading a blog of horrific internet art. Someone had done an anime bishie KAWAIIIII ^_^ desu desu Joseph Fucking Mengele.

It's horrific.

edit: Try not to cry too hard.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)

ha, comic sans is just the icing on the cake.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

"Loves: Cute things
Hates: Filthy jews"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

4th comment down sums it up
NO

NO

FUCK YOU INTERNET
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

The blog's done that for me.
It's hellish.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

no he means the popular page, not the offtopic main page.
If you look at the top of this page there's a link for Popular, it's where all the most lollingest posts go.

If you want to get on there just call Chompy a wanker.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Clickin' dis

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

this is in fact
now the second most popular post.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

hehe

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Is that because Bobby's at the top?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Yeah with a post from 5 days ago
and I'm not on it at all.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Psh.
Say something funny, then.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Not really
My mocking of you from Friday morning is still well up there.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

it was quite quick for you
so... butchered any innocent chicks this morning?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Nah
I've not bothered venturing outside yet today though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

well then
i like you more today than i did yesterday
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I loooove you more than I did the night before
oh alcohol *mumble mumble forgotten words*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

do you mind
he was at least 300 miles away at all times and therefore quite safe from me!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I don't really use the apps on Facebook as they're annoying
what does your social networking site do that none of the others do? There are so many, without meaning to be harsh, do you not think it's been done by now?

Does anyone fancy seeing the facebook film? I'm not asking anyone out on a date, just curious if it's piqued anyone's interest.

Monty need not answer.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Oh god my flatmate is trying to drag me to that.
URRRRGHHHHH NO NO NO NO NO NO!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I'd like to see it
I love the main guy in it, the guy from Zombieland and The Squid & The Whale, I think he's brilliant. Plus I do think the story is pretty interesting, albeit the film will no doubt have embellished it
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Yeah I think it looks quite interesting.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I don't really know anything about their genuine story
so I don't know if the film will be full of Hollywood bullshit but the trailers make it look good
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Based on a book by one of the people who started it.
It's meant to be factually accurate but dramatised.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

the technical literary term is faction

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

In general do I want to see it
or are you throwing out an open date invitation?
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Of course I wouldn't be asking anyone out on a date
but I'm going to be at the Didsbury Cineworld from 9pm tonight if anyone happens to be free...PLEASE?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Where's
Didsbury?
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Manchistar

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Oh right
I could maybe get as far as Cheadle, but everything after that is just that bit too far, I'm afraid. Thanks, though.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)

i worked there for years
as a letting agent. i love didsbury.

i loved it less when some ponce rang me from london and said "i hear it's the SW1 of manchester." now i've been back in london for so many years myself, i also speak in postcodes. urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:52, Reply)

To me
everything inside the M25 is "Town". One big, homogenous lump.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)

haha me too

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I want to see the Facebook film
It's directed by David Fincher, and has a soundtrack by Trent Reznor. Plus I've only read good reviews.

Do you like your popcorn sweet, or salted?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Popcorn? Bleurgh!
I prefer Minstrels.

With Lutes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I didn't ask you al
I bet you'd spend the whole film asking what's happening and fidgeting in your seat.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I like to yawn really loudly
and then get my phone out and play tetris.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I bet you don't turn the sound off either

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Al Should I hallowe'en my name already? Or wait until the cool kids are doing it

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

ARGH!
there was a woman playing solitaire at the train station and she had all the noises on, it was so annoying. Then when the train arrived, she got her headphones out and plugged them in to listen to music, why the fuck couldn't she have done that earlier?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

as a rule I think popcorn tastes like polystyrene
but I do like butterkist because it's got so much toffee on it that it's probably not even corn anymore.

Salted popcorn is like sodding pistachios, it doesn't taste nice but because of the salt you just can't stop eating it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Fine, pic 'n' mix it is then
Just trying to be nice on our not-date, y'know.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

oh right, sorry
I thought it was just a generic cinema question.

Yay for picnmix, Wiggy always puts all the fizzy sweets on top so I can't steal any, he's mean.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Yes, I know social networking is the bandwagon
that everyone wants to jump on. Main issue with Facebook is that it's only good (in my opinion) at keeping you in touch with people that you already now. My site brings people together by shared interests, so you could actually make new friends (shock horror). Everyone who knows the full details on it thinks it's a good thing, and I have a few people working on it.

I might download the Facebook film, can't say I'd fancy going to see it though. Next cinema experience will be new Harry Potter film with my daughter (whom of course, it needs to be said, I have not fucked).
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

what about Despicable Me?
I can't wait for that. And I want to see Red. I love seeing films at the cinema.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)

*belms for Britain*
'The Facebook film?'

Jesus fucking Christ. What next, the Twitter play?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

It would need a large theatre
as there are 140 characters
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

blimey
that was razor sharp for you.

well done!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

That's such a backhanded compliment
Razor sharp for you.

Cheeky sod. Are you coming to Davros Bash?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

i am queen of the left-handed compliments
no, i am either going to be sunning myself abroad or at my boss' leaving do, very sadly.

BUT i am going to organise one next year, and plead with him to come to that! you might be allowed in too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Al. Amazing. Amazing. Very very very very very very amazing.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

*two thumbs up*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Hahahah excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Ha ha
very good, I like...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

i'm not sure i understood any of this
i do wish some of my friends would "share" a lot less on facebook though.

i'd rather take people with me when i leave this earth. most of them in a good way, to keep. a few in a raoul moat kind of a way.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Oh it's just that in the not-too-distant past
everyone was like "oh, you have to do a Facebook App for any site you do" but like I think most people I think they are irritating, intrusive, clutter up a lot of space on walls and are only used by kids.

I think having apps on iPhone / Android is more important nowadays - just wondered what others felt...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

i only ever download
the apps i get told to. although i do love angry birds (i'm shit at it though).

my new flatmate is a tv producer and she does apps for "south park" etc. i could ask her, but she doesn't move over from new york for another month or so. which means i just wasted 30 seconds of both our lives typing that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I too love angry birds.
So much so, I had a kid with one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

haha ouch
i had my niece and nephew at the weekend. the nephew LOVED my boxing punchbag. it was hilarious, he's only 5, and the gloves came up to his biceps. then we took them to the park in richmond, where everyone assumed they belonged to me and younger brother because we look nothing alike. shudder. shudder shudder.

you should soooo take baby monty to richmond - amazing pub called the white horse, with lovely playground next to it, then walk down to lovely independent toyshop called "enchanted forest". my two thought it was the best day ever. i thought it was more exhausting than the gym, working and clubbing all rolled into one!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I do like Richmond, thanks for the tips.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I was in the White Cross last evening, enjoying the dying embers of Summer.
Also enjoying the confusion engendered in the tourists by a good high tide that means you get flooded into the pub and have to stay for a couple more pints, all the while explaining the difference between "Tides" and "Rainfall" to bemused septics.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

i like it
when stupid people get their cars flooded on the river bank.

heh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

That could happen to you.
If you've forgotten you've driven somewhere.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

gymlolz

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:24, Reply)

my ex works in Ham House as one of the curators
interesting eh?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Is that a museum of shit horror films?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

that would be so much better

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

And did Auntie Swipe
Buy anything pink for her niece?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

the niece
is a bit too grown up for pink. it's all about teh purple now, pink is for babies.

she's three, btw.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Gilbert the alien was purple.
Is he still popular with the kids?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

who the hell
is gilbert the alien??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

He was on Saturday morning kids show Get Fresh
(Turns out he was green anyway).

I must have been thinking of Squidgy Bog from Wizbit.

Ha-ha this away
Ha-ha that away
Ha-ha this away
My-oh-my.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Just put a link to to lyrics page on the Ian Dury website. Everything anyone needs to know about the human condition is there.

(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I must say
I agree with you. Have been told off for quoting lyrics already ! so will keep them in my internal jukebox for now...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Good lad. You'll be fine, everyone loves Ian around here.

(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Don't do it Sheikh, it's a trap!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Depends who your target market is
most of the people I know don't use apps, and the few I know who use loads (literally tens or hundreds) tend to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Thanks for that
the target market is people of all ages (stupidly ambitious I know) and I think as you say apps are mainly used by the young...I get sick and tired of the updates posted onto my wall by idiots on FarmVille (although thankfully that seems to have died a death) so No Apps is the way forwards. Once again, thanks for your input...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

But of course you can hide updates from apps like farmville.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I have loads of awesome aps
like... erm.. imdb... and youtube... and erm... a tube map... and erm... games and stuff
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Check out the teccy-bird!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

my phone also calls people
how cool is that!!!!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

You're the best of all the techies
TruFAX.

Can you use Sky+ too?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I only have freeview :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Shame.
As Pawn Stars is sometimes shown on The History channel. So you'd have been able to watch it on a proper telly, not your phone.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Err, are those apps on your phone though
or on Facebook ?
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

facebook has apps?

I never go on there as it's fucking shit
Also I didn't bother reading your OP
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

No worries
Yes, it has apps, but mostly they are pants. Am inclined to agree with you about Facebook, but it's useful to keep in contact with friends / family with...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

just text them

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Ignore Badger
she doesn't have any friends
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I have about 10 apps on my blackberry
mostly news/finance ones though. None on facebook
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Have you considered the Evaporative Cooling effect?
blog.bumblebeelabs.com/social-software-sundays-2-the-evaporative-cooling-effect/

I literally just found this 10 minutes ago while looking for something else.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:25, Reply)