Right, so
I'm selling a load of crap on ebay to clear some space and make a little extra Christmas money. What awesome/shit stuff have you brought online, sober/off your face or otherwise? Or, just talk rabid bollocks like you usually do.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:45, 207 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Big Trak
It was shit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Don't spoil my childhood wants.
Edit: man, the main board was ultra-futuristic: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Trak?wasRedirected=true
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I did post the story of Big Trak
Ownership on here ages ago. The whole thing was a major let-down.

I always wanted one as a kid, but they were deemed a bit pricey by Santa and I never had one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I always envied my mate's Optimus Prime
and was devastated when my parents got me an Optimus Prime RADIO for my birthday. I was an incredibly ungrateful little shit that day.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

A peter pan collar. Just the collar. For adding to dresses. It's a good accessory.
And several pairs of shoes, and I've ordered part of my Gin Genie costume for Hallowe'en :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

These are all good things I assume?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Pretty damn good.
I'm expecting a delivery of my feathered cape within the week.

Nope, not joking.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Part of me is jealous.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

If you want, I'll bring my faux fur pink shrug to the bash, and you can wear it.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I'm not sure I could pull it off.
And I'd get bits of fluff in my beard.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

It doesn't moult, you're ok
It'd be a huge look for you.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I think I'll just stick to the jeans-and-t-shirt look.
Thanks for the offer though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I'll find some other item of inappropriate clothing to foist on you

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Ok cool, I reckon that'd be a laugh.
I've brought you a badge.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Oooh!
What does it say?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:13, Reply)

That'd spoil the surprise now, wouldn't it?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Eeep.
You were never on my punching list.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I give you permission to punch me once when I give you the badge.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Will it be something that will make me want to punch you?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Possibly.
But you'll be grinning like an idiot while you lay me out.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I look forward to it
out
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

*glees*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

is it your vagina?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

It sure is.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Ah shit, conversation's picked up in that other thread.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I _bought_ my first real DVD for years the other week.
The thing keeps on skipping and I keep on missing stuff, the direction makes it hard to follow to begin with (4321, by the AdultHood and Kidulthood people).

I think that's the last time I'm gonna pay for a new-release DVD for a long time now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Sounds like a problem with your player maybe?
How are those to 'hood movies? I've always been tempted by them.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:01, Reply)

I really enjoyed them, well worth a download.
But there are a few others done by him, like 'Shank', which is fucking awful.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I heard somewhere they're gonna do ParentHood, which i'd be looking forward to seeing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I can't operate a PC when I'm drunk, thankfully.
I'll just talk rabid bollocks. This morning there was a homeless woman who used to come in the shelter I worked in, she was playing the guitar near my office. The problem is, she's so quiet when she plays that she doesn't really get any money. I gave her a sammich and a drink this morning when I went past, but now I'm wondering if she thinks I'm a bitch for not giving her money. She never seems drunk when I see her, so I don't know if she would spend the money on booze or not, but I feel a bit guilty now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

there's a guitar near your office?
also, sammich?

*slowly shakes head*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I like the word sammich, leave me alone!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:02, Reply)

You gave her a fucking WHAT?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:02, Reply)

a sammich
she can has sammich now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Haha oh man.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I think it's an american STD

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

You feel guilty for feeding and watering her?
MTFU. You should feel guilty for using the word 'sammich'.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:02, Reply)

well kind of
I made it a ploughmans in case she was a veggie.

There must be hundreds of homeless people in the city, where do they all go during the day? And night for that matter.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Maybe they go looking for 'sammiches'.
In 'made up word' land.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

It's a happy place there
full of cheezburgers and fluffeh things.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)

they either sofa surf, find a hostel or get cold
or get some cash, find some house to score in and camp there for the night.

they're the main ones.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Today, give her a can of White Ace cider-effect drink and a ten bag of brown.
See if that makes you feel better.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I don't think she's an addict
see Monty, even homeless people can go about their lives without having to descend into a drug addled stupor.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Maybe you could make her into one.
Kind of like a school project?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Yeah, let's ruin her life even more
if you're about to become a dealer, why not add pusher to the list and start a whole new generation of kids on drugs?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:13, Reply)

This is a superb idea.
What I could do is sneak drugs into their 'sammiches'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

your transition into creepy old man is almost complete

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Like a smelly Darth Vader.

Only with more 'sammiches'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Just get old smasher out and crack a few homeless skulls.
After nine years I have recently had a big fall out with the homelessness charity I have volunteered for. It is not the fault of the client group but I will punish them anyway. Fuck the homeless.

I don't mean this really just pissed off with the charity
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Fuck the homeless?

Oh I do, Batters old stick, with frightening regularity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:35, Reply)

DOES YOUR NEW LADY FRIEND HAVE A FORM OF MOTORISED HOME?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Hahah that was really starting to freak me out

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Hey, a ten bag of brown is always welcome

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Well, *I* approve of calling it a 'sammich'.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Well you've demonstrated yourself to be a fucking idiot already today.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I have done no such thing. I only demonstrated that I was half asleep.
But I could if you wanted?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Haha tell it like it is, Lampers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I'm in a bit of a bad mood.
Not that much sleep, a presentation to write, and a sore nose.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

but it's a sexy nose!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I've not told any of my friends, going to see if they notice. It took the flatmates about 5 mins.
I thought I was the one that didn't look at faces.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)

One of my friends was like that with my labret
she said "oh, I think I just thought you always had that" so I took it to mean that I must suit it and pretended that she wasn't just unobservant.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Literally thousands of records.
I buy them drunk, high, sober as a judge....but what's terrifying to me is that in the grand scale of things I have fuck all, and I have a wall of vinyl in my sitting room, piles leaned up against the wall and an overflowing crate of 45s.

When I start getting interested in a new genre and begin researching it, the whole thing opens up like a terrifyingly expensive flower...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I'd like to see a photo of this vinyl mountain.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I shall take one, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I too would like to see such a photo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Himjim's seen my collection.
That sounds rather gay, doesn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Incredibly.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

not compared to almost everything else you say and do

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Hahaha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I have to admit you've made me laugh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

no one ever takes me seriously :-(

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

It was your stupid clothes and beard that got me a-chucklin'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

having seen photos of you
I am pleased that our sense of dress is different enough that you laugh.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

You dress stylishly.
He wears carrot tops.

CASE DISMISSED
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

....says Mental Clown.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Alright, fuck off.
I see you go from mocking one person who complains about being single to another.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I mock everyone, regardless of marital status.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I am the younger BGB.
This is fact. Only slightly younger though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Only without the awesome new tattoo

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

awesome

I actually quite like bgb's tattoo but it's a hobby of mine to say peoples new tattoos are "alright" or "not my sort of thing"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Just a bit
*backs up against wall*

I have to say though, the East Wing was my favourite part of Boyce Towers.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I'm thinking of getting some more peacocks for the lawn.
What do you think - too much?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:01, Reply)

No, no, so long as the game reserve
doesn't get overshadowed by them.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I don't wish to tie up my gamekeeper
with peacock issues, but I don't think I need to take on a peacock-herder full time. People think living in a stately home is all croquet and parties - but sometimes it's dashed hard work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Quite old chap
*puffs on pipe*

So when are heading out to Africa to hunt those darkies Elephants?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

The problem with Africa
is those pesky Africans cluttering up the place. Can't move for the blighters.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

A BIT LIKE LONDON!
yeah? guys... I mean a bit like London??
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

you guys just can't take my edgy humour

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

And I shall look at it with my eyes.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)

I used to buy NIN rares and memorabilia on eBay
But now I own most, if not all of it (aside from silly things like Australian radio 1-track sample CDs).

The last awesome thing I bought from there was my leather biker jacket. It's heavy and great quality, plus a steal at £25.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

How much have you spent?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

In one purchase? $300 for the numbered and signed Ghosts I-IV special edition
In total... I can't begin to imagine. I have all the official releases, some in duplicate, plus a few oddities like a With Teeth sampler.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I guess it's all money in the bank.
Wait till the lead singer snuffs it and take it to Christies.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

not going to happen
Trent is probably immortal
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

He'd be daft to die and leave his hot wife behind

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

who is his wife again?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Mariqueen Maandig
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I say!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

*ahem*
Something for you....

susancoffey.deviantart.com/art/black-lace-151673303#/d2syhjl
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

*files away for later*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Oh hello there!
Susan, was it? A pleasure to meet you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I bought a GIR hoodie online

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I bought some Camper shoes for work.
Very comfortable and sturdy and cheap.
( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Are they more camp than the last pair?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Pfft!

( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

And shit.


EDIT sorry BGB I don't know why I'm taking the piss out of you today. I shall stop.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Whatever!!
Edit - You extract the urine as much as you like hon. I can take it like a man.
( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

given Monty's preference that is the only way he will want you to take it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Can I just spout some rabid bololocks please?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Oh please do.
Has your nan been up to anything lately?
( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

We're going to a gig next week so she's dead excited.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

To see who?

( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

it's all musicians getting together to jam
So some are classical, some are rock n' roll, some are folk, some are traditional Irish and they've got together a couple of times to see what happens. The result will be The Irish Sea Sessions on the Philharmonic Hall.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Woo! sounds good.

( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)

You don't need my permission toots.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Well,
This morning I got spied on by a bloke I dated last year.
I was wandering to work, singing long to my walkman as I do, and I saw a blacked-out gangster wagon. Corossed my mind it might be him but I'd look like a tit if I stopped singing so I just pretended I hadn't seen and carried on.
Then I thought "It can't be him" because it pulled over to the side of the road and didn't turn into his place of work.
I surreptitiously lowered the volume and heard that the engine was still running, and although I didn't look properly, I could see the driver was staring at me.
I passed the car, crossed over once I'd got behind it, then waited to cross at the next corner.
I turned back to see it turning into his place of work.
KNOB! What is the point of pulling over and just staring at someone?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Perhaps he was recharging his wank bank.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Haha, well he is a wanker and no mistake
He's the one who told me to grow my hair.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Did you used to have a skin'ead, then?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

It was as it is now
Which is as it was when he asked me out. I started dating him and he started telling me how much more beautiful I'd be if I only had swooshy hair. I never stop banging on about this as I think it is disgustiing to get with somebody then tellthem to change. I was attractive enough to ask out and I shall stay the way I am thanks, you hirsute moron. (Him, not you Mont.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)

hahaha for a second there I did think you were addressing me.
It was a justifiable epithet but a mite strong, I thought.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I'd rather call you 'That Yeti'
in the style of Wolfy's bird's dad.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Your hair is fucking brilliant as well.
What. A. Cock.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Ta la, as is yours
He's just a big spoilt baby with little life experience, bless im.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I didn't tell Wiggy to change his hair
I just styled it for him one day and everyone said it was fit so he kept it that way and pretended that it was his decision.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I've recently encouraged my mrs to grow her hair
but she liked the idea and loves the result. Plus it looks hot as fuck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Ooh you're as bad as The Greek you are.
;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)

naa it looks good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Better just staring than trying to talk to you or worse

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

You're right but I always get antsy when I've seen him
I suspect there'll be a text from yet another brand new number at some point this week.
Although last time he enquired about me one of my friends told him I was in Denmark getting married (which he'll know not to be true as he knows my auntie's husband) but it might make him take a hint that I don't want to hear from him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I have bought..
The entire series of Supernatural that have been released,
At least two thirds of the Shannara books. I'm tracking the others down.
A set of Derwent greyleads, from a F to 8B.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I buy an awful lot of stuff on ebay
but on the plus side, in the last 4 months I have made £300+ from selling all my old fat clothes. Which has of course just been spent on crap and more clothes...
(berk, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

ok anyone not reading the old thread, check out my pearoast from like 5 mins ago
Oh I had a propery weird dream
I moved to london but the guy Imoved with was weird and the flat had no front door so loads of people were wandering through all the time and the shower wasn't big enough to stand sideways in. It was overlooking a park though.
Anyways I FREAKED OUT at how shit it was and called Wooks, he told me to meet him a Gonz's but it took me ages to find a tube as the london in my head had a very poor transport network. So anyway I am miserably hiking round london with all my stuff in a couple binbags when Wooks finally finds me and we go to Gonz's and it's lovely and gonz makes us dinner.

GONZ LOOK IT'S FATE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

And they all lived happily ever after

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

"Hey everybody, look at me!"
"You're not looking! LOOK AT ME!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I think you were in my dream as a shithead who wouldn't help me pack

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Yeah? In my dream you were the fuckface with lesbian hair
dream nightmare
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

my nightmare reality
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

epic sadface
not the hair :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

i bought my usual bi-monthly box of stupidly expensive designer hair products over the weekend
they arrived today. in a massive box. assuming it was deeds, i asked my trainee to open it. his face when he saw the receipt for all these shampoos was a picture.

not as much as mine, however, when i dragged it over to my desk (the box, not the trainee). somehow, god knows how, i must have managed to tick the "giftwrap" option. every single bloody bottle is handwrapped with gold paper and silver curly ribbons. so... not only do i have to piss around opening them all, it has cost me an extra tenner for the privilege.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Pretend it's your birthday. You might as well.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

She can spend the day acting like a real saddo who has to buy themselves presents because nobody else would

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

yeah thanks for that nice little upper
you're like ecstasy in font aren't you?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I don't why I have picked on you. I am actually in a good mood today - working from home sat on my sofa with my 4 cats around me and loads of films to watch.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

aka 'acting like a real saddo'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Correct. I am quite happy with this today though.
Partly as I have leftover beef bourginion and chocolate cheesecake to eat.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I'll be round in 20 minutes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I had the most incredible bottle of wine I've had in years, last night.
I'll let you know what it was when I have internet at home as I kept the bottle. My sister and brother-in-law gave it to me - he works in the wine trade and has a personal stash of at least 50k's worth of wine, so I knew it'd be good - but not as good as it was.

I was hopping from one foot to the other with joy after each sip. I am barely exaggerating.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I had some fucking fabulous port the other weekend
I have no idea what it is because it was a present bought for a friend who I was staying with and it had been decanted a while ago.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Expensive port is one of th ebest drinks ever.
I have yet to get into white ports - maybe that is my project for this winter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

it was the best port I've ever had by a significant margin
it was a present to my friends from some army pal of theirs who is in the sort of circles where very fine port is drunk often
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I would like a glass of vintage port RIGHT NOW.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I couldn't quite believe my taste buds

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I am tempted to have a glass as I am working from home, but even a pisshead like me thinks this is a bad idea.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

It is only 10:45 so you have to have sherry instead.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Or maybe a Bombay Sapphire with a splash of tonic?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I will take you to Gordon's Wine Bar on Villiers St - they have some excellent white port on draft.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Yes please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

that place is AWESOME
the cheeseboard is amazing too
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

huge portions of cheese too. I love it there.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Right. When are we going?
This is serious now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

This evening?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I have my criminal meeting tonight or I'd say yes, indubitably.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Ok gaz me some dates - and you Rachel as well if you'd like to join us

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

ooh
i only just saw this! i wait to hear more.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I love cheese more than I can possibly put into words.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

two little words
VIVAT BACCHUS

wine and cheese specialists!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I was told about this place by an acquaintance who's an old-school financial journalist (I think)
... whose effusive praise of this place was only overshadowed by his anecdotes involving three-martini lunches and consequent shenanigans.

It sounds like the sort of place I need to visit, especially since I can probably walk there from the office in about 20 minutes ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I can't wait to find out what it was
I'm on the edge of my fucking seat Monty. RIGHT ON THE EDGE
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

You'd love it.
It had 'Pot Noodle' undertones, with a 'sammich' finish.

Quite delightful.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

*roars with laughter*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

red or white?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Red, an Argentine blend of quite staggering quality.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

*sniggers*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Loving the name

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

yours too :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I need a name
*A scary one
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Mary.
*Scary Mary
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Hahahha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Quite contrary
:(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

you really are Bridget Jones aren't you?
I proper lolled at your driving to the gym and then walking home fiasco.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

argh, well, that served me right for being so lazy
as to drive in the first place. the gym is about an 8 min walk and about a 90 second drive! i had only driven because i was going to tesco afterwards... lazy people take the greatest pains.

i was about 21 when the first bridget jones book came out, and everyone told me then that i was her. now i am even the same age as her, and sadly it is just as true. oh wait, except for the sexy barrister and publisher fighting over me in the street.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Do you have the massive pants?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

of course
every girl has sexy pants, everyday pants and massive pants
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

that is not the case

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

just because you don't always get to see them all
does not mean they aren't lurking somewhere!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I've lived with my mrs for 5 years or more
I think I'd have seen them by now.

similarly, I lived with my ex for 2 and a half years, and she didn't have any massive pants either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I don't have massive pants
despite what Labs keeps saying.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I don't have massive pants either
They create a dreadful silhouette
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:38, Reply)

check the drawers in their old childhood bedrooms
that's where mine lurk, in case i ever forget to pack any when i go home!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

she hasn't lived at her old home for more than 10 years
pretty sure she doesn't have anything left there any more.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

nor have i
but i still have an entire bedroom stuffed full of rubbish!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I've totally just gazzed you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

you did WHAT?
hang on, i need to read this again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

yeah, I know I was drunk.
I did mark it without predjudice though if that makes it any better.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)

it means he can't use it in court
unless he can show it was genuinely not without prejudice.

but this joker isn't going anywhere near a courtroom anyway!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

that sounds like something someone would say on The Wire

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

*something about City Hall*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

If we ever meet, your hair will have to be fucking awesome.
Or else I will be terribly disappointed.
( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

oh god when we finally meet
i will soooo have been to the hairdresser first!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I hate selling things on ebay.
It always reminds me that it was a shit idea to buy the item in the first place.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)

This is very true.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Can't you be JeffTheWitch'sTit?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

JeffTheTit is more concise. And more accurate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Morning Monty.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

It is, yes. What of it?


(hello)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I could be I suppose.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)