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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Long thread is too long
I've got next week off. How many other ways are there that I am better than you?

alt Q: what are you doing for lunch at the weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:38, 229 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
1. This is a joke, right?
2. This is a milked joke (of mine), right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)
no, I do have next week off
and yes
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Best login name EVER.^

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
It's pretty damn good.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
eleventyone

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Twelveteen.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
None

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
I'm going to say none. Having a week off is dull.
alt: ym
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
How much annual leave are our American friends given these days?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I get a week.
It was shit. Ignoring the fact that I was at the hospital with my dad, even if I were at home it'd still be shit.

damn this being broke shit
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Just a week? Jesus.
I don't recall ever working for someone who has give me less than 28 days holiday a year, plus side national holidays as well.

5 days of annual leave isn't enough. How are people supposed to see the world with that level of leave?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
what is the statistic, that 70% of americans don't have passports?
yeah, 5 days of vacation leave
I get Christmas, Thanksgiving, Independence day, Labor Day, and Memorial Day off as far as holidays go.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
This would explain a lot about (some) Americans and their winder view of the world
You need to get yourself to a country where they'll pay you to take time off work.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
these days you need legitimate training and reasons to get into a country to work

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
What about Canada?
I've never been there, but it sounds like America 'lite'.

And therefore, might be better.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
if I'm visiting somewhere in north america it will be in the states

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Why do you think
US tourists belt it round Europer frantically taking photos as if ticking off landmarks on a list? The poor sods.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I'm shocked Monts.
Without a good 2 week break in the summer/winter I can't function. I need my downtime.

(Although since I've been contracting, I've given myself far more leave, but of course I don't get paid for that).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
for reals
if I ever get to go there it'd only be for a weekend and I'd have to take two extra days off work just for flight time

you people better be fucking dazzling in person
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
*Pleads with you not to bother*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
not very convincing

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)
Well I'm going to Alton Towers next week, so there
I fucking love rollercoasters.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
you cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
yup

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
13 broke down just as we got to the inside queuey bit
and we'd already queued an hour so we didn't want to leave, but it meant we waited an hour and 40 minutes for the ride. It was really good though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Really? I heard it was shit
We've got two days there, so no doubt we'll go on it at some point.
It's also their halloween frightfest thing, so rides until 9pm plus two 'spooky' mazes!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
It was good
but it wasn't worth such a long wait. It's better if you don't know what's going to happen, so if you don't already know then try not to let anyone spoil it for you.

I really want to go during frightfest one year, it looks exciting
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

www.rideaccidents.com/
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Awesome!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
hahaha
I once printed out the 5 stages of drowning and gave it to a friend who was learning to sail. I slipped it into the rest of the paperwork about the weekend, but he didn't see it and gave it to a friend he was trying to persuade to come with him. The friend did not go with him.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
I'd be impressed if you managed to drown while conscious
sailing in the UK. So the whole 5 stage thing is a bit moot.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I would have been surprised too
but I wanted to shit him up because he was a yuppie.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
I have never been on a rollercoaster in my life.
Truefact.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Oh hello
Clearly you are missing out on awesome fun. This makes me sad, albeit very briefly.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Nah,
I'm not really fussed. It is on my list of things to do though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Yeah, well, I'm not bothered neevah
Hope you get to go at some point though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
oh hai!
ur up early

Did you go for drinks on Monday with sexy lab partner?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Oui oui oui
And also possibly tonight, after he is done boxing.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
wit woo!
You can tell me all about it whilst I scowl at you for doing the handstand spin. I did the hug on Monday, it fucking well hurts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I don't know if I'll be able to tell you WHILE I'm doing the handstand spin.
I'll probably be too busy going "shitshitshitOWWWshitshitshit,ohthankfuckitsover"
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I just need to stop myself from automatically clinging onto the pole as soon as I've let go
but I'm still not sure how I would land without just bum planting.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I can't really explain on here,
But I'll try and show you later.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
sweet, thanks
I've got a new one to show you, if I can do it, it involves doing half a hand stand with one hand on the floor and one on the pole, it's weird but looks good!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
That's how you do the beginning bit of handstand spin!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
that's true, although in this one you have your other arm on in the iguana mount pose, so bent double with your arm behind your back

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)
They are Fucking Shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
^this
Paying ridiculous money to get thrown about and bruised. I prefer light sado-masochism.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
this has nothing to do with your question but
i have a "women in property" event this evening. wine and chocolate tasting. which is great as it's two of my key interests. but a part of me feels that this is inherently sexist. AND i don't know how to network if i can't flirt.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
Hahaha!
There may be lesbians you can flirt with. Same rules apply.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
hmmm
that would just be clit-teasing though!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Just because they're women doesn't mean you have to come through at the end of the night.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
there is a strikethrough there
involving coming and women and- i can't really pull them off, though.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
you can't pull them off
because they don't have penises
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
some of them are pretty masculine
i bet they have bigger clits than one or two of the cocks i've seen. well, one.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
you are a delight
I must introduce you to the singer from my band, I think you'd get on.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
interesting, i like musical men, it's very sexy
what's he like??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
he is like this:
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs202.snc3/20954_490257540181_879550181_11255325_6941327_n.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
oh i see
yes, you have done well with the potential pimpage.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
he's a nice guy, good singer, reasonable guitarist, alright surfer
best bongo and djembe player I've met.

crude as fuck though. he can also drink more than any I've ever met.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
"crude as fuck"
is that what you think of me?!?!?!??!?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
may I direct my learned colleague to this interchange
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post910272
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
yes but i don't talk like that in real life!!!
well. sometimes. occasionally. on certain occasions.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
outrageous behaviour for a supposedly demure young lady.
for shame!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
i'm not sure i ever said i was demure
lots of things. but demure??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)
ok, maybe I made that up

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)
you can list some of the other things if you like
pretend you are selling me to your musicianmate
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)
little point
his girlfriend looks like Zooey Deschanel
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
you absolute buffoon
why have you just wasted 10 minutes of my life on a man who already has a girlfriend?

duuuuuuude, i can find my own losers, i certainly don't need any help there!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
just a very long-winded way of calling you crude
also, I'm really bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
you're going to be the second person
in a week that i have VERY NEARLY IGNORED
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
surely you couldn't ignore me
after all we've been through together
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
one might have thought that of the first offender too
i am an ice queen, mr v. an ice queen.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)
how alluring

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
Is it the lighting, or is he a ginger?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
it's the lighting
our bass player is a full-on ginger though. Scottish too.

He is the undisputed king of ginger though. He's a brilliant bass player and surfer.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
He looks like Phil fucking Cool

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
i thought he looked like a young
mark knopfler? it might be the guitar though.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
*looks again*
No, definitely Phil Cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
he doesn't really

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
my heart still belongs to you though monty
well, my pants anyway.

i'm kind of proving vipros' point right here, no?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)
no one ever doubted it anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)
rah

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
I will not hear such a slur on your goodly name.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)
hoorah for good taste and common sense
right here
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
if you flirt subtly enough the woman will go away feeling better about herself and will like you, but will be unsure why

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
interesting
i must learn this. subtlety is not generally one of my more obvious selling points.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Don't flash your tits at them.
They won't appreciate it and it's a waste of boob.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I accidentally gave someone
an eyeful last night
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Do tell

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Setup
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post909074 However while I'm being solicitious and helpful, I realised the guy in the car was walking off looking dazed, my top had slipped right down, as I was kneeling over this other guy checking his pockets. And this top is the lowest one I own anyway, sadly poor Vipros has already been exposed to it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
linkfail
the white and flowery one?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
yeah
the sides are semi-transparent black
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I didn't really study it
it didn't seem all that low though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
haha that's because
I try not to let it slip down, especially not with strangers. But I was in a real rush last night so picked up the first thing
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I feel as though I lost out somehow

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
It's just cleavage
plenty of that on the net
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
not live cleavage
from someone you sort of know.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
your missus
might not have been best pleased if I'd thrust my breasts in her face
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
you never know until you try

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I'm going to go
with my instincts on this one funnily enough
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
haha I'm picturing you going
"what do you think of these eh?" and shimmying them back and forth whilst she looks horrified.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
that would be repulsive beyond belief

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
it really would
fortunately I think everyone there would dismiss it as some kind of hallucination
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
a bad batch of weed
or alarming dose of LSD
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
if that situation does ever arise
I'll be sure to say "no, didn't see a thing" if someone asks "woah, did you see that?"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

repulsive entertaining

Incidentally, is the new username also a sneaky reference to getting your tits hacked off?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Dammit this is funny.
The word "mams" is always funny. I'm going to keep asking until I get some bastard acknowledgement.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
Oh grow up.
If someone doesn't notice your joke, it's not the end of the world. Be a mam.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
I laughed
briefly
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
That's all I wanted.
You fuckers.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Not found
:(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
fixed now

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
yeah it's best not to just grab their boobs and make a honk sound
But all the other stuff, like the casually touching their arm and leaning into them, basically everything that Cosmo has taught us, works on women as well even if they're not muffdivers.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Don't go "I'll fuck you if you take my business card"

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
you say "nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
good advice all of this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
then bump tits

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
"Two of my key interests"
Wine and chocolate?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Hello hotstuff.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Alright Sexpot?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Not bad at all.
My nose is sore :( But shit's not bad. How are your nipples feeling?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Could be better.
When we went to Satan's on friday night, one of my friends accidentally spilt booze all down my bra and it's been sore ever since.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Oooh.
I keep knocking it on my sleep. The inside is a bit swollen but at least it looks ok from the outside.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
somewhere
someone's head is exploding as they read this
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Someone Chompy
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I'd wager it's Milton Keynes

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Nah it's sexface hearing Lampito talking about painful noses.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
hahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Oh we were made for each other.
He gets punched at bashes... I punch people at bashes... TRUE LOVE
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
You should really try to make it through the next bash without punching anyone.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
Definitely going to.
Although it'll be hard with you there.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Who punched Sexface? When? Why wasn't I informed?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)
He got headbutted at a CHB bash for sleeping with someones girlfriend/fiance
That's why his nose was like that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Awesome.
I cannot remember his face, as the only time I met him he spent all evening barging me out of the way to get to women. Then he got rack-jacked by Catface.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
Oh man, olllllld news.
Gilgamesh's Hot or Not has the picture of him freshly punched as his picture
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
well i certainly didn't mean the property
i get enough of that shit all day, every day!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Mmmm
I don't like wine or chocolate, but if it's free, I'll go for it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I'd go
for the free stuff. Just be nice to everyone, flirt on a really low key level
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
1. You have more impressive facial hair.
2. As little as possible, for both.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
You are my better half I suppose.
I will be eating leftover cupcakes most of the weekend I think. I might send one to you, but in a normal envelope so it gets all smashed up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
You're brilliant

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
haha thanks :)

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
do it.
I will post you a crab.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Gaz me your address....


...mwa ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
you gaz me yours
I will definitely send you a crab with stamps and an address label stuck on it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
isn't there some silly rule with Royal Mail that if you can get a stamp and an address on it then they have to deliver it?
I have a friend who had a banana delivered to his friend's house and it actually arrived!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
precisely
imagine that, but with a fucking great crab. it'd be excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Let's not talk about holidays
because I win there by far.

Weekend... This weekend will be beer and free tapas all day long. Next one I got the first class ticket to go to London on Friday, so free nice food and drinks. I think Gonz is going to take me for lunch on Sat to a sushi place. I'm thinking about going to that Buenos Ayre on Sat night.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I JUST DONT KNOW YET!
might go to a gig on friday in LAHHHNDAN though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
do you have a voucher?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
Funnily enough yes yes I do
well a flyer.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Please confirm this as soon as possible so that all London-based single women can be warned in advance.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I'm already hiding.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
We'll let you know when it's safe to reappear

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
I'm going to New York next week.
I'm better than you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
I've always wanted to go to New York at Christmas
it just looks really pretty
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
It really is. Last week of January is best, of you also like shopping.
I got a £400 coat for £100 last time I went.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
wait, you like something?
*falls off chair in shock*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
technically you got a £400 coat for £100 plus airfare and hotel costs.
just sayin.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)
I've done it.
it really is as spectacular as it looks. You should when you can.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
i can't believe i've never been
it looks better than london even. my new flatmate moves over from new york in jan, guess i should try and stay with her before she does!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
I was lucky enough to get snow too. It really was unforgettable.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
I'll take you.


/jimmyhill
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
i need to see more of it
than the inside of the aeroplane toilets and the hotel bedroom though
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
You can read a guide book on the way back.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
I was going to suggest you fuck her on the balcony

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
oh, and I'M the crude one?
oi, get that kettle over here. the pot vipros has something he'd like to say to it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I never said I wasn't crude
I said you are and you'd get on with my mate. I get on with him, because I am crude as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
i prefer saucy and filthy minded
with no limits and an imagination that would have defeated paul raymond, if it's all the same to you.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)
exactly what I look for in a woman

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
yes but you already have one!
selfishly.

NEXT?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)
too true
if she wasn't such a good one I'd feel I was missing out.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)
humph

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)
it is my loss as much as, if not more than, yours my dear

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)
mutual loss
i can shake hands on that
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)
*proffers hand*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Crudity is for the amateur.
Advanced filth requires a broader and more refined palette from which to colour one's canvas.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)
then you get to superior filth
then finally... me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)
An excellent idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

on off
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:53, Reply)
Adds
*Itchy chin*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
oh man we should totally meet up for a drink

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
You are not better than me
probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
You can grow a beard and I can't.
I might be in all next week but I shall be spending the vast majority of it with someone ultramega fit so it automatically makes it better than yours.

My mum is coming to take me shopping so she'll probably buy me something nice.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
I will also be spending my time with someone fit
with guaranteed sexytime

I'm going to get my parents to buy me lunch at my wedding venue, which is a small fancy hotel which does very good food.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Damn, I don't have guaranteed sexytime.
At least not with the fit person.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I win!
*fistpumps*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
I'm going to Rome next week
to bounce around churches.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
But it's full of priests.
Watch your back.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Lucky Jim.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Fuck off Kingsley Amis,

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
Kingsley Amis loathed my grandfather with a virulent passion.
He goes on about him in his autobiography quite a bit, I am told.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Please elaborate.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
we have already established you are the best version of me.
Alt Q: Hopefully going to london to watch Arsenal.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
+lose

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
don't, we need a convincing win. Fab and Walcott are back. Good news for your lot today.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Aye, very much so
I'm also glad that Fab is back, he's meant to be one of my major pointwinners in fantasy football, but so far he's been shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I am bottom of most of the leagues I joined. My team is shit.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Welcome to my world.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Your beard is not bad, mine looks like a chinese peasant's.
Alt Q: I'm off to a mates wedding, going to be a rather drunken affair.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
'not bad'
pfft
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Shy of a spectacular beard (i.e. Billy Gibbons style)
'Not bad' is the highest compliment I will give to another man's facial hair.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)
One always has to rate any beard on the Gibbons Scale.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)
that is true

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Errr, you're better at living in provincial backwaters
that smell of dairy farming than I am?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)
that's not true and you know it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
I have to say, it was a guess.
It isn't something I've ever tried to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
it's not that hard
not that where I live smells of farming

believe me though, chicken farming and some of the horrible crap they put on crops/fields are far worse than dairy farms with regard to foul odour.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Not as bad as the East End.
Stinks of kebabs and recycled Special Brew.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)
gross

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
It stinks of Tayyabs and top-notch marijuana.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
...hidden behind a large dosage of Lynx Africa.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Does it also smell of knife crime and inner city squalor?
*crunches carrot*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
and desperation

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)
"The new fragrance for men"

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
from PsychoChomp

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
office lol right here right now

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
No, Mr Gummidge, it does not.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
I'm not sure I trust your olfactory apparatus

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)
What - you think the detachable septum is a hinderance?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)
I'll bet it gets a more regular workout than yours.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)
inhaling your vile reek does not count as smelling practice
you ghastly vagrant.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I'll be honest
I'm mostly better than everyone, so you'd have to offer better than a week off work

and I won't be lunching on Saturday as my game is 2pm. I suspect Sunday will involve all of the beef. Unless I have to go to church and pretend to believe in the whole beardy sky wizard thing.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Monty has his own branch of church now?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
No but apparently Roy Wood does.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
I'd imagine that the services are quite repetitive

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)
Now that would be religion worth relating to.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

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