Right
Now we have established that every female on here seems to want to adhere to the ridiculous standards imposed by modern society regarding physical appearance

What's for lunch?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:01, 155 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

one pea because I need to be THIN to conform to society's expectations.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

You're already old though
It's too late for you I'm afraid
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

*sobs*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

On the plus side you can now eat whatever you want

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

.... as opposed to what I've always done? ;)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

we might as well be dead :(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Peas are not good
They are the fattiest of all the vegs. If you were really trying you'd chosen a green bean (not dry)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

how about dust?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

No dust, no
No CAKE either.

Water, if anything. And as much air as you want.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I think avacado would beat pea.
But, why would I try? I am already a veritable Adonis. Assuming Adonises drink too much beer.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I'm confused
Does avocado count as vegetable? And so, does an olive count as well?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

*sings *
"Peas are good, peas are good...."

(If Birdseye care to advertise using The Shamen I want a cut.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Spaghetti carbonara

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Snap!
*high five*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I want a FUCKING MCDONALDS!
*rages*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

NO!
You've been a BAD boy, no treats for you!
Besides, you don't want to get fat, do you? The kids in the playground don't need another excuse to bully you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

But but but
I reeaaaaalllly want one. Please Dad?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:08, Reply)

It's not too late to have you aborted, you hear?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

*scuffs feet, looks at floor*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

MCDONALDS
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

You!
McDonalds? Why? It's crap.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I think he just wants to be buggered by the clown

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Really?
Or is that your dream?

I love your picture with the bachelorette glasses. You look so femenine.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

McDonalds is awesome
Today I plan to be fat. 3 double cheeseburgers, large fries, strawberry milkshake, and 20 nuggets (nuggets for sharing)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

No, what?
You eat 3 burgers on your own? Really? How much meat is in there? Don't you feel sick afterwards?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Nope, just happily full
I've eaten a Pound burger before, that was difficult
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

3 double burgers
are more than a pound, aren't they? Or are they mini double cheese burgers?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Not sure, don't think so...
EDIT: Yes, they are, but for some reason that burger nearly killed me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

chicken balti soup

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Cold sausages left over from last night
with chop sauce in a poppy seed bun.
( M o D, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

and a cup of tea

( M o D, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

what's chop sauce
do you literally mean sauce from a porkchop?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Cocaine dissolved in gravy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

tangy

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

It's a brown sauce like Daddies or HP
but called Chop Sauce. I had it recommended to me a while ago and finally managed to track some down south of the Watford gap. It is sublime, all other brown sauces should bow down to its tangy northern goodness
( M o D, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I ate and drank about 8 million calories last night
so I will be eating something worthy but dull.

I am as yet undecided as to the specifics.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I thought you were turning into a pirate for a minute there.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

dandilions?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Try as I might I just do not get this.
Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Tomato soup
and philadelphia sammich. I can't wait.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

sandwich dipped in the tom' soup?

( M o D, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

that's the plan
I don't think I could eat a philly sandwich by itself, it's too sticky.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

needs crisps

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I was so tempted to stuff it full of Kettlechips this morning
but they're for the party on Saturday and I would get told off.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)

DO IT!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I can't now, they're at home and I'm not.
but I shall do so tomorrow. I could re-seal the bag with my straighteners and he'd never know.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Or you could just buy another pack on the way home tonight

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

These are massive Costco bags so he'd notice that they'd shrunk
EDIT: oh wait you meant buy one for myself rather than stealing at all?

Where's the fun in that?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I love how your first thought was eating the huge bag and replacing it with a tiny one
I've got 12 bags of McCoys I'm considering having with my lunch.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

All the 12 of them in one go?
Wow! You're going to be thirsty today.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I'm a fat person trapped inside a thin person's body
Costco is my downfall, everything is either in packs of 6 or just quadruple the size.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/board/10230597
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I saw an advert for Heinz tomato soup last night and now crave it.
Good bit of advertising to do that.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Same for me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I hate that ad where they all blow on their soup
it's so annoying!!

I saw a billboard for Aquafresh this morning and it has a dad and daughter with bulging cheeks and the words "liquid protection for your family" on it. It needs shopping.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Apparently it's "Love Me Tender".
Damned if I could recognise that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I was trying to figure out what song it was supposed to be
it's awful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

can I really justify
MORE toasties?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

OOOO
new soundgarden on 6music right now!

wait, I was wrong
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

in keeping with the starvation theme
no lunch as i have back-to-back meetings.

i am having dinner cooked for me later on though, which is a nice treat!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

BORING

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Well if you're not going to answer the lunch thread
you should tell us what kind of shoes you're wearing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

this would be discrimination
as I am barefoot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

you can still answer though,
the type is 'none'. I'm be-socked. They're stripey and thigh length with skulls on them because I am a goff.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

haha
a went through a phase where people always bought me those. As a result I have about 6 or 7 pairs, but have never bought any
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I love them!
They're like warm tights without the horrible joined up bit at the top that makes tights so uncomfortable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I have one of your stockings btw

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Are you going to be back in Manchester any time soon?
It's probably not worth the postage to send it!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I have to make sure I never buy cheap tights as they have short legs
my legs are too long for my body so walking in those tights is impossible. Stockings are cool, but I feel like a slut in them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I only wear holdups, I can't stand tights.
They make me all wriggly all day trying to get comfortable in them. I have to buy quite expensive holdups though because the cheap ones don't stay stuck all day and I have the same problem, I have out-of-proportion legs so I'm supposed to buy the medium size for length but that means the girth is bigger too and they slip down Nora Batty style!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I have four pairs of step-ladders and I've never bought (or stolen) any.
They're very useful, though not in a foot sheathing capacity.
(Cave Duck, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Black Leather
EXCITING!
(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

are they the pretentious Italian pointy toe kind?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Pretty much.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Mini pappadoms.
I've been forgetting to eat recently, this is good.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I was under the impression that eating was, you know, kind of necessary to survival.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

that's what they want you to believe
sucker
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I've got enough fatstores to keep me going for a while.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Rye bread with chicken and cheese but not together.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

A handmade burger
Which will be made for me at my club.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Cheese, ham and onion toasties
Since I bothered to buy cheese, ham, and onions.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

we're like lunch twins!
only without the onion

plus it's a bit weird
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

What's weird about the onion?
I think you're weird for not including onion.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

hmm, I might have an onion
wouldn't red onion be better, white might be a bit strong
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Tuna and prawns!
And the internal network is off until 13:30, so I can be here for an hour without having to work!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Woo, paid for doing nothing!
This used to happen when I covered work in a bookshop with very few customers. I got a fright when the phone rang one day.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Haha!
In theory I could do other things that don't require the network. In practice, all my work requires the network.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

"Sorry boss, I've forgotten how to use a pen."

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Well, yes
That's be a good excuse. But no, really, all what I do is on the PC, using a simulator. I can't do anything without it. Which I like.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Awesome
Sounds like what I was doing last summer. If the computers had gone down, I would just have sat doing (even) less.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Yep, it's cool
When the electricity goes off (we have emergency generators, but those can fail too) and after waiting for a while we're always told to go home, as there's nothing we can do.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Nothing.
I've been awake all night coughing my lungs out and have finally had enough sleep to move from my bed to the sofa.

I might have a lemsip.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

there there.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Thanks.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Have a cider instead.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I had a night off the ale last night and feel even worse today.
All lesson there to all you kids.

At least drunk, you don't care that you feel shit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

ham salad baguette and some poncy 'artisan' crisps
From Monty's Fine Lunches. I have a photo of the van, but that'll have to wait until I can get it off my phone.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Mmmmm
I had a bad eve yesterday, and ate a full big bag of slightly salted Kettle crisps, a cardbury flapjack and a whole spinach and ricota pizza.

I'd like to know why I feel so terribly happy while eating these things.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

because that's how we are wired as humans
sugar and fat are hard to come by when you are a hunter gatherer. Easier in Tescos
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Yes
But we have evolved to the point of laziness, and our body can do pretty well without the hours of exercise that our ancestors had. So why hasn't it evolved as well on this food thing too? We are healthier if we're not fat, so our body should feel happier if we're not eating fatty things.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I read somewhere that we're the only creature on earth that craves the things that are bad for us
I know feedig your cat rubbish will make it fat, but if left to its own devices it wouldn't choose to eat cake. Except rats, rats are proper dustbins, my rat won't eat apple or carrot but he loves KFC.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

i went to the pet shop yesterday to see the animals
(to make me feel better)

now I want rats. or rabbits. or guinea pigs.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Rats are brilliant
Although bunnies are also pretty cool if you have more time to let them out and stuff.

My rat watches TV with me in the evenings and has whatever I'm having for tea. I'm surprised he's not a lolfatrat.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I had rabbits but they died and made me sad :(

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:58, Reply)

everything dies at some point
you have to be zen about it.

And maybe don't watch Watership Down for a bit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I had them less than a week :'(

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

were they from pets at home or something?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

No, a local breeder
www.b3tards.com/u/73ec12ab3d29a4d600fa/imissmyrabbits.jpg
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:04, Reply)

awww! they were cute!
I only say P@h, because the animals from there seem to have suspiciously short lifespans
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

they know nothing about pets in there
it makes me really angry. And they lied to me about the ages of the rats I bought from there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:38, Reply)

they've started selling reptiles, too
which worries me no end
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

RABBIT MURDERER!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Were they tasty?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I did not eat them :O

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Shame to let them go to waste, surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:09, Reply)

watership down is my kryptonite
hamsters don't live long enough, either. I still miss mine :(

here's possibly the coolest of them all:
up2.it/ali/actionhamster.jpg
MONKEY!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

BURN THEIR HUTCH DOWN!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Did you eat them?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

There's a guy on QOTW who's written about his made up girlfriend
and people are lolling at it.

Am I the only one that thinks compulsive liars are a bit sad?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

More entertaining than sad

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I hate them in real life though
once you've figured out that they're lying every new lie is just insulting!

Although the really convoluted ones can be quite funny, especially when they trip themselves up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

..and you assume that every nice things they ever said
was also a lie
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

exactly!
plus you feel embarrassed for them that everyone knows they're lying.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

That's the comedy payoff, surely

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'm a girl, I have empathy
even when they don't deserve it.

If I don't like them that's another matter, then it's lol city.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

a girl not an awful person
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I think it's sad too
And probably I cliked "I like this" before I realized he was lying.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

very very sad
I was married to one :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I know a few people who've been involved with compulsive liars, it's really destructive.
My friend had a boyfriend who even made up a fake twin brother! Seriously. She hadn't known him that long so obviously she didn't doubt it, but then when she said to his dad "I can't wait to meet Jake" the dad was like "eh?", she was so embarrassed.

I also know a girl who got married 3 weeks ago to a bloke who has a daughter his ex-wife would never let him see. Turns out neither of those people exist.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

MONTY GOT MARRIED??!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

It's only a matter of days until this is true.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Graduatelolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:17, Reply)

You're not that much younger than me sunshine.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Hahaha
I've not seen it for 20+ years and thought it was shit and consequently barely paid attention, but isn't the scene in the church between two characters of similar age?

I wasn't suggesting anything else. Honest guv!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Really?
Fuck, I'd best get my kilt ordered!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I have to say,
I'm pretty sure I do exist.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:17, Reply)

but DO YOU?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Your sore bottom says I do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

You're sure she didn't just tie a buttplug to an Afghan hound and squint really hard?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I am not sure at all. Sounds like the kind of thing she'd do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Ruff ruff.
I did think that inviting Jeff over was a good idea.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Link to the story plz

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Sorry I was outside
www.b3ta.com/questions/relationships/post935851
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Sad is the word I'd use
As I've known people to concoct whoppers of similar proportions - a friend of mine at school invented a similarly unbelievable imaginary girlfriend (who we were, of course, never allowed to meet) and even took offence on her behalf when we started up a running joke that she must be a sheep. The amount of effort he put into making up details of their relationship - however unbelievable - was staggering.

There was also the chap who claimed that he'd managed to drive round the M25, twice, in a VW Beetle, in about half an hour. When laughed out of court he backpedalled to "oh, well, maybe I just went round it once..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I'm meeting one of my recruiters in town
so we will probably end up eating something in one of the pubs we end up in.
(bill, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Alright Murderer Bill?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Not bad so far.
This bus journey is taking ages though. I think having a car has spoiled me!
(bill, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Are you the leader of a bizarre cult?

(Cave Duck, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:24, Reply)

A cult of murderers, I'll be bound.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

They use the skin for book binding?

(Cave Duck, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Yes
Kust send a cheque for £19.95 and a SAE to the below address and we will guarantee your entry onto the hypership that will save the true believers from the Formic invasion due in 2013.

I've got more money than sense
PO box 100
SL3 8XP
(bill, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Ace!

(Cave Duck, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

man, I always miss the good shit
but just can't be bothered looking back
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:18, Reply)