Book now for careers seminar: "Your Career as an Actuary"
This is the thrilling subject line of an email I have just received. What missives have you lately received that have bought you that little bit closer to "doing a Moaty"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:48, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Actuarys are meant to be the best job you can get.
For work/life balance and pay.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Really?
Hmm. Actually, Wikipedia agrees with you.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I edit it constantly to prove myself right.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

and herein, I feel, I rest my wikipedia case, m'lud.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I reckon it's better than being in academia or paperclips, at any event.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Anythings better than academia these days.
*weeps*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)

we used to have a lot of actuaries as tenants when i was a letting agent
we always thought they were "boring but rich".

i see no reason to reassess this early opinion.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

This is an interesting point
As I am immensely boring but not possessed of much money.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Sorry what was that? I wasn't listening to you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)

haha
afternoon darling
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

You've been a letting agent and now you're a solicitor?
and you abuse traffic wardens? bloody hell. Mr Pot? I've got a Miss Kettle on the line, wanting to discuss the Black account...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

i've also been a bank clerk, a telephonist
a barmaid and a fluffy children's entertainer (the last one is quite tenuous). i've lived a colourful life, if the colours are mostly shades of grey.

your point, please?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

the point is that you abuse one profession
while having been in two equally bad ones.
it is called hypocrisy.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)

firstly, i have no problem with hypocrisy
did you not see the part where he (i think?) called me a solicitor?

secondly, i seriously dispute the fact that anything is as bad as a traffic warden. ANYTHING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)

What about 'benders'?
They're worse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I believe it's possible for a traffic warden to be a bender in their spare time...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

oh no
they don't cost me anything.

traffic wardens, on the other hand...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

well his point was your hypocrisy,
and a lawyer is definitely worse than a traffic warden,
i mean i'm just trying to explain here, i hold no opinion about you personally.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

"definitely worse"
in what way????

i bet i contribute more to the uk economy in tax in a month than those buggers do in a year!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

( Kroney, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:20, Reply)

i'm not entirely sure that amount of money created
is in any way related to the sort of "worse" we are talking about here.
although your arrogance in relation to how much you get paid here is certainly indicative of something.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:52, Reply)

it means that i am more of a net contributor
to society and they are scum.

or something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:13, Reply)

I can pretty much guarantee that a traffic warden
has never charged me the wrong side of £8K for doing something I was perfectly capable of doing on my own but simply wasn't permitted to do. So, I'm going to have to disagree with your disagree.

Of course, that's one tiny example that I'm sure is utterly unrepresentative of a whole profession. Much like the odd incorrect parking ticket, for example.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)

if you are willing to spend hours
checking the statutes and case law and obiter dicta to ensure you have complied, and have a comprehensive insurance policy in case you get it wrong, sure, nobody needs lawyers. otherwise...

but traffic wardens only do one thing. solicitors do hundreds of different things! i don't do ambulance-chasing, for example. i do very high-end difficult property disputes to stop one party abusing another or breaching something it has promised to do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:16, Reply)

I'm not sure what at all that has to do with it?
are you saying that what traffic wardens do is unnecessary or somehow that your high-end property disputes are more important?

I never implied nobody needed lawyers. just that lawyers are equally as capable of being cunts/making errors as traffic wardens, it's hardly necessarily indicative of the whole profession.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)

yes i think traffic wardens are wholly unnecessary
it's just revenue making for the council. if anyone is genuinely that obstructively parked, the police can shift it.

now they are on commission, it's all about self-interest and there is no reasonableness about it - the number of times you see them loitering around cars where tickets are due to expire just so they can slap a ticket on it... no no no.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Do you not think that the police have a lot better stuff to do?
and in any case, no, they can't just shift cars.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)

well if they do, they don't do it
or not where i live anyway. so they might as well be shifting cars.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:47, Reply)

they can't.
obstructive parking isn't necessarily against the law. It's still cunty.

and I don't believe you really actually think the police don't have better things to do, you're too intelligent for that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)

correct, i am being tongue in cheek
i just really really hate traffic wardens, is all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:56, Reply)

and somehow you can't see how traffic wardens
are not worse, as human beings, than lawyers?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:57, Reply)

if you ever wanted to buy a house or flat
you'd be glad of lawyers, could save you getting a proper pasting. if you had a car accident, or any other kind of accident, you'd need a lawyer. if your employer shafted you, if you wanted to go self-employed and had tax issues, if you wanted to make a will to ensure everything went to the right place, if someone squatted in your home when you were on holiday, if someone accused you of a crime you hadn't committed (or that you had), if someone said defamatory things about you, if you wanted to go into partnership with someone, if you wanted to get divorced... you'd be glad of lawyers.

traffic wardens... you'd only be glad if you needed to find someone less popular than yourself or needed a halloween costume.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:01, Reply)

right okay, i see i am dealing with a moron.
never mind.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l93ymjX3Gw1qz9qooo1_400.gif
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:06, Reply)

outrageous
if i slagged off chefs, you'd probably leap in there and say-

well actually, probably "i don't give a fuck, shut up woman."

so what's for dinner then?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:07, Reply)

haha, i'd say generally they are a bunch of coke fiend wankers
but also generally that i don't give a fuck.
i made a leek and potato soup, early dinner, feeling a bit ill like.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:10, Reply)

i like leek and potato soup
see, we agreed on something. it wasn't that hard, was it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:11, Reply)

it isnt as fun though is it,
let's be honest
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:13, Reply)

well no
but it does mean that you can't call me a moron without also calling yourself a moron
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:14, Reply)

:(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:27, Reply)

So you don't like traffic wardens
because you feel you should be able to park wherever you like.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

well you are wrong aren't you
since traffic wardens, here at least, keep people off cycle lanes and from blocking disabled entrances. you can't just park anywhere, and there is usually a reason for that.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:54, Reply)

omg omg omg
cycle lanes are even worse. they are built for cyclists, scumsuckers of the worst sort. block them all, i say, preferably with the cyclists trapped inside them with no food or water or toilets. then hopefully they might all eat each other and give the rest of us some peace from their wingmirror bashing, red light sailing, pedestrian endangering, driver endangering, traffic slowing ways!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:58, Reply)

there is something deeply unpleasant about you,
as a person.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)

i have never been endangered, as a pedestrian, by a cyclist,
but cars, well.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:01, Reply)

try walking around london, it happens every minute!
i saw one twat nearly nail a baby in a pushchair the other night because apparently red lights don't apply to cyclists and they can zoom straight over pedestrian crossings without looking. the mother was in tears of shock and the cyclist had the nerve to yell at her!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

i would like to see a chart comparing bicycle fatalities with motor vehicle fatalities.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

christ, i wouldn't
but cyclists make me have to watch my back as a pedestrian and to drive more slowly as a driver.

outside london they don't bother me at all. inside london the city is full of tools with no idea how to adhere to the highway code giving the good cyclists a bad name.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)

they should destroy london.
it is the only answer.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:10, Reply)

well they are doing their best
the cyclists and the traffic wardens, they really are
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:14, Reply)

But you annoy
Greggs the bakers.

And they make cakes.

How is that good?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)

well............... i change names/products around on here for obvious reasons!!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Have you annoyed ANY bakers?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:28, Reply)

my friend's surname is baker?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Have you taken them to the cleaners with your legal mumbo-jumbo at any point?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:50, Reply)

not my friend no
although i did wind someone up earlier to the point that he was speechless with rage and then he said "your... your.... your clever WORDSMANSHIP won't work here."

er, i think it just did.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Do you enjoy winding people up?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)

who doesn't?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:06, Reply)

not unnecessarily
but this guy is a douche who thinks he can pocket £200k of my client's money for no reason. he didn't like my legal arguments. they weren't even that clever, they were just RIGHT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)

letting agents, solicitors and traffic wardens
are all pretty close on the scale of "being generally disliked while carrying out their jobs"

I was using your mild hypocrisy for slight comic effect.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)

excuse me
but my clients love me!

so ner.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I've got a thing for traffic warden rollplay.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:55, Reply)

I just received an email from the eBayer who bought my laptop yesterday.
He said "don't post! I gave you the wrong address". Er, it was posted this morning, after he confirmed the address three separate times with me, and after I reconfirmed it and told him I'd post it this morning. And he has the tracking number from that so he knows I've posted it.
ARGH.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I suppose the important question is:
Has he given you the money for it?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Definitely. I've even transferred it out of PayPal
and into my New Boots fund.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

In which case
that is very funny.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Then all one can do is facepalm
And hope that, if he does get shirty enough to take the matter up with eBay, they'll simply send him a short recording of their legal team laughing uproariously at his incompetence.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)

You should reply "Haha, GUTTED".
WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING ! OH BOY !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:53, Reply)

=D

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:10, Reply)

How can someone forget where they live on
3 different occasions?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

massive drugs, I'll wager.
That or the buyer has been thrown out by their other half for buying laptops on ebay while drunk.

*checks the calibration of the patented Morrissette-o-meter in kilospoons*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)

The buyer is a Mr. T. Pratchett ...

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Yesterday I was invited to 'webinar'.

A FUCKING 'WEBINAR'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Someone deserves to die for that.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I agree
Kill the twat who invented the concept in the first place, then kill the twat who decided it needed a snazzy cod-abbreviation to describe.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)

For a brief period of time
I was required to host webinars.

They are actually more shit than they sound.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I'm afraid that is not possible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I can assure you it is.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)

But it's the shittest thing I've ever heard of.
And I've heard of a lot of shit things.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)

If a square like me says they are more shit than they sound
Then you need to take my word for it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:05, Reply)

*clicks fingers*
Hey, cool out, man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I'm Potsie
To your Fonz.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:10, Reply)

You're Mr fucking Cunning-ham.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:20, Reply)

That has all the letters of Ribena, and a "W", for wanker, like the people who make Ribena

(TheColonel, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)

This peculiar observation is marvellous.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Are you suggesting
that Ribena, rather than being a blackcurrant drink, is actually made from the condensed ‘produce’ of the makers when they’ve wanked so much only blood comes out?

*alerts Ribena's legal team*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

I cannot possibly suggest.
Perhaps you are right and they "suggest" a little of their own flavour into said product.


The greasy cunts.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)

There's no point alerting them
they are to busy wanking like safari park chimps into the blackcurrant vats.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I dislike that term
it tries to make it sound like an intelligent meeting of minds, discussing important topics, when it's usually the braying backslapping of tedious cunts, all thoroughly convinced of their own importance.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

or someone who did it for a joke
and then some twats took it seriously
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Every second email
in my college inbox makes me feel like that. Especially the polite 'if you hand in your gender essay I can actually mark it' ones
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)

hmmm
you're one of those students. I make late ones write me 300 word excuses
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:34, Reply)

nah
the essay is because I was ill last term and thus missed the work. Not very urgent
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:40, Reply)

5 of the first 6 emails in my inbox
just have "RE:" as the subject line. Beat that for thrilling.

the sixth says "FW: Centre for Sport and Exercise - Autumn Newsletter"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

first
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Oh, man, you have NO idea how much I wish that was true.

4050. And that's only the uncategorised stuff, I've got another 15,000 sorted. And my mailbox autoarchives anything over 6 months old into a whole other system. *weeps*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:18, Reply)

You must have a HUGE penis

(TheColonel, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)

have be
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Well yeah, obviously
but I think that it's more a demonstration of how much needless email is sent, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)

You need to do some housekeeping

( Kroney, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I would if I had the time inbetween reading all the fucking email.


and posting here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Easy.
I have one that is:

'FW: Ang. RE: Ang. RE: PO 3593 and Item Ref. 602388'

Whilst it may read as 'Angry', Angry' etc - it is actually a long-running exchange with a Swedish shelving manufacturer.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:20, Reply)

not as bad as
FW: [Classics UG] Joint Consultative Committee for Undergraduates
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I think we could be at stalemate here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I believe so
this should make you laugh though SFW: fuckyeahterribleart.tumblr.com/post/1177194201/so-beautiful
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:28, Reply)

It has indeed.
How fucking insane is that?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)

It's odd to realise
that compared to everyone else on the internet, we're comparatively normal. I mean just take a look at the freaks on mumsnet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:32, Reply)

I never have. They're rabid Daily Mailers, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)

I have no idea
but I've seen them covered in newspapers. And I stand by my point. We're relatively normal
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

that site has some mad shit

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:53, Reply)

I've got some of those as well I think.
well, probably EPS rather than classics, but that just makes it worse.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I don't even do Classics :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:28, Reply)

I'm not answering your question!
I just want to say YAY for me! Last night I was winging about a new job I may or may not go for due to my current job being temporary. I told my boss about it, suddenly there is a meeting tomorrow with the person I'm covering and if it goes well (for me) there's a permanent job in it!

This makes me feel both big and clever
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Good news.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:34, Reply)

totally
I may even be in a position to pick one from two grown up jobs, perhaps even try and get them to offer better deals for me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Good for you.
How did you get on at the pub quiz?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:35, Reply)

not so well
20/40
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:37, Reply)

Oh well.
Having cider this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

nah
i might go see some fireworks or go to pilates or write reports. None of these things are conducive to cider
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

More fireworks?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:47, Reply)

this would actually involve going to see some
(postponed from another day that was too windy, although it's bloody windy here today)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:47, Reply)

It's too cold and windy to want to go anywhere.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)

this is my current thinking
how was your pub grub yesterday
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:50, Reply)

It was alright thanks.
Not outstanding, but okay.

And it was free!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:54, Reply)

free is the best flavour
I had free beef bouginion and cheesecake yesterday. They tasted of other peoples' money
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:55, Reply)

Did you have them together
Or did you have the beef and then the cheesecake?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:59, Reply)

I could have had them together
but I was doing my best to look like a grown up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:01, Reply)

Did you get free wine as well?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

no
but a lot of tea and welsh cakes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:07, Reply)

I'd have rather had some booze than tea and cake.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:11, Reply)

yeah maybe
but I did have to drive home 50 miles afterwards
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:13, Reply)

That's a long way to go for cheesecake.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:28, Reply)

I think I was supposed to be learning something too
but it was really nice cheesecake
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)

What sort of cheesecake was it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:35, Reply)

Good luck with that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:35, Reply)

cheers
man, I have NEVER managed to do anything so politicy before. I also got my boss to drop one of the annoying things I was meant to be doing in one of the classes (too boring to go in to, but trust me, this is a good thing)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Incident is kicking arse, people.
*keeps arse firmly entrenched on the sofa*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)

I'm kicking ass and taking names
...and I don't have a pen
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Fucking council summons letters.
Fuck off and die Southwark. I've sent my proof of study and THEY FUCKiNG LOST IT. Bugger off.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)

Well if you will live in Lambeth, dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:42, Reply)

I don't live in fucking Lambeth.
I've been in Southwark for a year and a half now.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:45, Reply)

he's talking about the bad karma
you've accumulated from living in Lambeth once
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:46, Reply)

I'VE NEVER LIVED IN LAMBETH

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Don't lie. You fucking LOVE Lambeth. You grew up there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Ohhh I get it
Lambeth is a euphemism for anal porn
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:48, Reply)

She and I have 'done the Lambeth Walk' on many occasions.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)

precisely
How can either of you expect your respective councils to take you seriously when 'Anal Battle Cannon 4' is standard watching on their hours off?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:52, Reply)

I fear you are right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:57, Reply)

My hot friend saw my badge and I had to explain
THIS IS GOING TOO FAR
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:58, Reply)

at least you don't have to explain to the council

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:05, Reply)

It's awkward enough at the proctologist.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:07, Reply)

'yeah., umm you see,
I sort of slipped and fell onto an upright vegetable. Then I slipped again and fell onto a bigger one.' Pause 'well the upshot is I'd just shopped for groceries and I'm quite clumsy'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)

If only it were like
this
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:11, Reply)

I grew up here.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b2/Stockport_viaduct_M60.jpg
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 17:56, Reply)

In that green car?
You poor wee mite.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)

Oi moi oi moi oi moi
My house is lovely, actually.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:01, Reply)

trolls live under bridges....
just sayin like
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I'm not a fucking troll.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:04, Reply)

I dunno the evidence is stacking up now.
Lives under a bridge - check
Loves booze and being rowdy - check
Will punch on request - check
Scares children - check
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:05, Reply)

No, no, no, I avoid children.
You have failed Know Your Lampito.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:07, Reply)

I bet he failed the LAAK test as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:07, Reply)

It's LAA at the moment :'(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:08, Reply)

How is she?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)

Course you avoid them the temptation to chew their bones is too strong.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:08, Reply)

No, I just hate them.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)

They're alright if you can keep their attention.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:10, Reply)

OK, a celibate troll then

(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:07, Reply)

What's an actuary? can't be arsed to google.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)

It's how the Japanese say 'actually'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:01, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)

casual racism ftw
evening Monty.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

there is nothing casual about it
be puts a lot of work into it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:18, Reply)

I'm glad I'm not the only one here who's fucking thick.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)

Hello mate
how's the new job panning out?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)

Fabulous thank you =D
/ac

I'm just walking out the office now, I'm the last one on my team here, I might schedual my thinggies to update their thinggies at 8ish so they are all like "WOH', DUDE, YOU WERE WORKING LATE ! HERE ! LET ME GIVE YOU TEN TIMES YOUR YEARLY WAGE FOR BOTH OF THOSE HOURS".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Keener.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:06, Reply)

Nutshell.
They predict death.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

What?
an actuary is a sith lord squirrel?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 18:04, Reply)