So this morning I put on a pair of newly ironed jeans
and found a tenner in the pocket. Kerching!

How has your day rocked so far?

EDIT: well, aren't we all little rays of fucking sunshine?

Okay, Alt q: how has your day sucked so far?

And I apologise for trying to inject a little brightness and happiness into your unremittingly bleak existences, you bunch of soulless cunts. ; )
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:22, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Back and forth
In the corner of my office.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Whilst whispering the lords prayer
and stroking your crotch
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Whispering to begin with
It will be around speech-level by the time I'm at half-mast, and once I've got a proper pan-handle going I'll be yelling it loud enough for the whole of the 8th floor to hear.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

That rules!
I found 40 quid a while back, and they'd both been dyed purple, bu the bank accepted them.
My day's been a bit meh so far.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Did you not get a good seat?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Nope
This one is cold and seems to attract lots of customers
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

They must have heard off of Phil that you give good squeezes

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I bloody do as well

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

That's because you're fat.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I would like to hide somewhere safe
with a good view of the ensuing carnage. With popcorn.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

This is par for the course tbh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Make sure you get a great seat in the aisle.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:33, Reply)

near Phil
he shares his sweets
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

What the hell are you all talking about ?
Is Roota finally releasing her DVD?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:56, Reply)

See Roota's thread below.
The one with 200+ replies. It all got rather silly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:00, Reply)

So roota isn't bringing out a pornographic dvd?
SAD FACE
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)

If you pay her mortgage, she might show you her bumhole

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Before I decide, is her appartment furnished or unfurnished?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I'm not sure, ask her cat
Not the one who rattles when you shake it, the one with glass in it's fur.

And in utterly unrelated news, what do you get if you turn a false blonde upside down? A brunette with bad breath.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Maybe I could get some sample pictures first? Maybe even a 30 second teaser?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I think you'd have to ask very nicely though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:41, Reply)

I can be nauseatingly nice if the mood takes.
I can totally make not showing me her bumhole akin to kicking a pug down the stairs from the top of the tallest tower in liverpool.

*puppy dog eyes*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:16, Reply)

The heating is broken in my work, so even I'm a bit cold
And I'm nearly always complaining it's hot usually.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:26, Reply)

My day hasn't rocked in the slightest.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

bad news that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

It isn't great news is it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I waved at you.
That must count for something.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Only 'cos I waved first. :(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Pfft! shan't bother next time.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:56, Reply)

It's not
The bus was at least 20 minutes late this morning, so I had to trudge up to the train station so I wouldn't be too late. The train was late, and when I got to Macc, there were no taxis for the first 10 minutes.

Add to that it's still snowing, and I've still not been able to move anything into my new place, and I'm just pissed off.

However, while I did just have a massive bacon butty for breakfast/lunch, there was no brown sauce, truly a tragedy of biblical proportions.

EDIT: Fine, there is one thing that's making me happy currently, I've been chatting to a rather lovely lady, and I'm meeting her in the next few days!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Is this one of your imaginary friends?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Nope, she's real

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

*Cough*
Ladyboy.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Shut it you.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:37, Reply)

The doctor is sending me for an MRI scan of my knee
whilst I was expecting him to just tell me to piss off and stop whining.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

It hasn't
Got into work late because of numpty drivers spazzing out in the snow, work's dull and I'm not even half way through the day yet.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I took the easy option
and brought work home with me last night. I am now in the warmth of my home knocking out project appraisals like there's no tomorrow, and not fearing for my life as witless spastics attempt to cause multiple pile ups on the A1 by driving too fast and too close to the person in front of them.

I may also do this tomorrow.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I envy you
But I know that if I could work from home (obviously can't!) then I'd likely get no work done whatsoever.
Not having an upper-middleclass woman ram into me because she thinks taking a tight, icy corner at 35mph is ok because she has a 4x4 would definitely be a bonus though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I'm considering adding spikes to the front of my bike
Either that or lighting my bike up like Ecto 1a from Ghostbusters 2.

Plus a siren. Preferably wailing "GET OUT OF THE WAY DICKHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEADSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Just record Blessed shouting that, and set it on a loop

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I find working from home quite productive.
Mainly because I don't have people shouting across desks to have a conversation, or the 'phones constantly ringing to distract me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:59, Reply)

+one
project appraisals
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:36, Reply)

That too.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Haha, gutted.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

i have to give a presentation to 100 surveyors in january
on lease renewal negotiations, tactics and the landlord and tenant act 1954. i just found a precedent set of slides from a talk i gave a while ago that is almost bang on. this might sound dull (in which case be fucking grateful you are neither giving nor listening to the presentation) but it has saved me about 12 hours' non-chargeable work.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

That's fair awesome
Woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

i know
i don't really use powerpoint so it takes me ages to draft slides
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I don't tend to use it because I can never make one that I don't think looks cheap
I'm just not great with it
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

i have it easy there
as all our presentations are branded, so i only have to come up with the content. but as i don't actually type them, i always dictate a few bullet points and then it comes back and i realise p1 are like sentences whereas pp2-3 are just words and... it's all v stressful!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Only just getting out of bed, love being a student.
Off to buy some books then out later to a mates to watch football, eat pizza, and then watch one of my favourite westerns. Today is a good day.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I take it you're thoroughly enjoying the injuries at Liverpool currently?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Liverpool aren't even on my radar these days, shower of useless bastards letting down a great manager.
I am more interested in Spurs wanting Adebayor. Gallas and Adebayor would be all the incentive I need to napalm the spuds bus.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Great Manager?
No chance. He's made too many mistakes, but has managed to save himself when he's in real danger. I'm glad we've kept him on, but the statistics are pretty damning.

Also, I saw Ross Noble the other day, fucking superb. Was it the Nonsensory Overload tour you saw him on?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

You have a squad of spastics, most of whom are unwilling to play for woy.
Yeah it was, did he keep walking into bits of the set when he started running around?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Nah, he seemed to have learned his lesson
I shouted something at him, he misheard me, and gave me shit the rest of the night, funny as fook.

He injects no passion into them, makes them too defensive, and doesn't seem willing to release players to support Torres.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I think with the mongs he has to work with he can't afford to play attacking football.
Your team and squad are just not good enough.

Right I'm off for a shower, I'll continue your football education when I get back pal. (joke)
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

What'd be wrong with playing Gerrard behind him?
Or even letting Kuyt do the same?

Rather than making them drop back for fucking everything. Fuck, I'd even accept Ngog playing in support. He needs to drop some players, and give the young uns a chance. Also, it's maybe time he starts actually giving a shit, rather than just dismissing everything.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:49, Reply)

When you get your new books
Take extra special care so that you stay within the lines when colouring the pictures in.

The results will be a lot better.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

The only results I'm worried about is the aids test after barebacking your mum hound harrasser!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I read a book once.
It was yellow.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Yeh', I guess it isn't a protest day, best to lay in.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I've been stuck in a bus station with what can only be described as an epic hangover all morning while some cunt whistled xmas carols. Now I think I am going to be abandoned in Sheffield with no money. On the plus side, I just got a compliment .
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Christmas is completely banned from our office until the week before it
This suits me ok, but I'd rather it wasn't here at all. 2 years ago, one lad had a dancing tree that whistled, we stole the batteries after about an hour.

EDIT: Why abandoned?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I've still got that funny feeling.
Nothing has happened yet though.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:49, Reply)

You've lost that loving feeling?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

What feeling are you having?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

That tonight's going to be a good night?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

All funny in my tummy like going on a first date.
Roota says something boss is going to happen to me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Roota says 'boss' a lot.
Does that make her the boss of you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:59, Reply)

She's not so big

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Yeah! she's much more wise than I am.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:01, Reply)

No she's not!
You can't be wise unless you have a beard. That is fact.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Or if your name is Professor Yaffle.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I accept this, even if it was a few* years before my time
Because although I've never seen Bagpuss, I think it's popular round these parts.

*14
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Sounds to me like you're at risk of shitting yourself.
Unwise dinner last night?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Pork Katsu Curry for lunch, did some code which everyone was like "HUH? THATS NOT WORKING, I DONT KNOW WHY !" and then they were like "GIVE UP AND MOVE ON" and a few moments later I sorted it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 12:57, Reply)

well on the plus side I slept fucking great last night, third night in a row *fist pumps*
on the down side I overslept and didn't have time to take a shower

and it's fucking pissing down outside, rain rain go away
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Woo!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

hurrah for no booze!!

I quite like your christmas name *pets*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Thank you sweetie
I'm leaving booze at the minute. I had a couple of nights on the lager last week, and felt like hammered shit the day after, not good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Jesus
The weather-bloke on the telly has just said it is likely to drop to between -25 and -30 in Scotland on Thursday night.

That is really fucking cold.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Yep, pretty fookin bad
I'd give a shit, but the only people I know in Scotland are layabout students, and thus do not qualify for any of my sympathy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)

It's been snowing again here.
My drive home will be fun : /

I hope the breeze blocks I have in the boot do their job.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Holding down the tarp on the body?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I wondered where Poppet had gone...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:50, Reply)

still here.
been enjoying the snow :D

I love snow. :D
*dances*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Woo!
While I'm happy you're alive, I'm gutted I won't get to meet you this weekend :-(
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Have you made a snowman yet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I shall be introducing Poppett to the joy of snowball fights.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)

How snowy is it your part of the world Blousie?
It's just cold here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Just been snowing again.
I would say there's a couple of inches.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I was pelted with them today thanks to language students while walking back to the house I'm staying at.
Totally accidental though.
On Saturday, we shall have a proper fight, blousie and I. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Don't worry
it'll be a breeze.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)

-5/10
See me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I had paella for lunch: that was rather nice.
Other than that today’s been OK but unremarkable. Much of it has been taken up by being consumed with jealously over my new worst friend Bartleby for his rock’n’roll gig tale earlier. I will only feel better if I find out he’s slipped over in the ice and broken something.

I would really have loved to have gone to that. Even though Bill fucking Haley was on the bill (who is shit, fact fans), and Screaming Lord Sutch’s performance was appallingly bad.

My godmother once told me she saw Jimi Hendrix, but left half way through because it was so loud. Durrrr.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)

ahaha, I had nutella sandwhiches.
NOM NOM NOM.

How's London going m'dear?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:01, Reply)

It's OK thanks.
I saw a woman fall over on her arse this morning, always a pleasure.

Tonight I have been roped into cataloguing and photographing my daughter’s old baby clothes for Ebay purposes. I really need to go to bed instead, as I barely did last night due to cretinous MD and cognac consumption. I am a fool. An old fool who should know better.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I thought you'd done this already?
Not the MD obviously, but the eBay photos
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Nah my ex cancelled. I get dinner as payment tonight.
This is not a good enough bribe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Your daughter will be there though won't she?

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I fell on my face this morning, it was hilarious.
you'll beright on the weekend if you have a sleep instead of doing more MD and cognac.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Let it go Boycey.
It will only consume you and make you bitter.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:07, Reply)

My Brother in Law walked out of a Motorhead gig some years ago saying it was too loud and he was going to the pub.
I can only assume that it was a gay bar where he was going to have a proper gaying with gays.
(Cave Duck, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:08, Reply)

What an epic bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)

A bacon sandwich for me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Dec 2010, 14:09, Reply)