I don't usually come on here in the evenings
But I'm bored OUT OF MY MIND. I'm at home coughing up not one, but two lungs and trying not to let my lab report descend into delirious feverish rambling.
I feel like death, the Doctor was NO HELP (see facebook status) and and I left sex and unopened Baked Alaska Ben and Jerrys back in Manchester. Cheer me up by convincing me how much shitter you life is than mine, please.

Alt: What genius ideas do you have for sweets that they haven't made yet? Entirely new ones or just variants on an existing theme, I'll allow both.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:26, 139 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am also bored
For tea I am going to have stolen cheese and povvo cider. It has been an expensive month.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:29, Reply)

Stolen Cheese?
You are Barry

AICMFP
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Yeah
But I'm poorer than a church mouse with a raging crack habit. Plus, I stole it from my Mum, and she had loads of cheese.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:39, Reply)

Stolen cheese should be called
Nacho Cheese.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Haha
That was truly awful
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:46, Reply)

I don't get it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:47, Reply)

Say it out loud

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

In a cod gangsta
accent
( Kroney, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:51, Reply)

Not-your-cheese
EDIT: I don't know why I bother.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:55, Reply)

/psychochomp

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:58, Reply)

Only less witty and charming

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:07, Reply)

You've changed Lighty.
I hope you lose your next match.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Hehe!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:13, Reply)

Don't you encourage him either.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:17, Reply)

It's all in jest
I'm cautiously optimistic for our next game after last night. How about you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:16, Reply)

I hope win at home to Derby this Saturday.
Only it won't be a witty or charming victory.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:18, Reply)

They never are against Derby
Although occasionally they're hilarious when they completely lose the plot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I'd like to make some really awful, tateless boiled sweets
And I'll call them 'Spangles'.

Otherwise, I'd like to see a promotion that sees people who buy a can of fizzy pop given a large packet of Space Dust to go with it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:30, Reply)

I don't have sex
or Ben and Jerrys in any place

Alt Q: coffee sweets. Possibly with coffee liqueur in the middle
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:31, Reply)

aww you are so right
someone better make them NOW
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:32, Reply)

You really need me to convince you that my life is shitter than yours?
Wine gums made with wine.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:31, Reply)

wine gums that don't taste shit would be good
wine pastilles aren't bad though, strangely
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Can you physically stand up on your own?
And do you actually have a voice?

If the answer to either of these questions is yes then I'm sorry BGB but I win today.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Pfft! you said a crap life not a crap day.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:37, Reply)

I've got the day off work tomorrow, I'm settling into my new place, I had a fantastic weekend, I'm about to play a few games of HL2: Deathmatch, then watch Inception
Gutted for you being ill, but I'm in a good mood for the first time in ages!

Hope you get well soon, even if the doctor is clearly a tard. Would the ice cream and sex been at the same time?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:31, Reply)

Erm, probably not
Sex and then ice cream. The use of food during sex is such a waste.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:38, Reply)

God yes!
Food is a pleasure of it's own. Why sully it with sex.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:40, Reply)

I love hot mustard
But I can't see a way of combining it with sex.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:45, Reply)

*ponders*

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:01, Reply)

I have a maths exam tomorrow
Which I have to pass if I don't want to screw up my plans for the whole of next summer, it's been snowing for the last week so I can't get out and do anything, I still have to cook for myself and my two flatmates, I have a headache and I really, really, really want a drink (but can't have one because of the aforementioned exam).

I was also woken up early this morning by a frantic flatmate wanting me to proofread a seven page essay (English is not her first language) on a topic I don't understand in less than an hour. I then couldn't go back to sleep because of the sound of scraping snowshovels through my window as my neighbours attempted to dig their cars out for the umpteenth time.

Oh and I also have a lab report to write before Friday, but I've been too busy with revision to start it. I know what I will be doing all tomorrow afternoon.

Sex? Don't make me laugh bitterly.



/whinge


Alt Q: Coffee laced whisky cream truffles.




Edit: Although on the sex front, my flatmates (boy and girlfriend) are doing fine. I just wish they would stop their kissing and toe-curlingly inane conversation while I'm in the room. At least it's in Lithuanian so I don't have to actually understand it, and playing ACDC through my headphones blocks out the worst of it.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Ugh
I am a strong advocate against public displays of affection. Even if public means only one other person in the room.

Turn the hose on them, like dogs.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:47, Reply)

It's hard to hold back when you fancy the arse of someone.
I feel the same way but have not been able to stop myself kissing someone in public, even at my age.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:51, Reply)

There are acceptable levels,
I'm talking about stuff like blocking the science corridor with full on tonsil tennis and getting in the way EVERY TIME I'm late for maths.
Or that couple that don't seem to realise their friends are there and they're not in bed alone together.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:55, Reply)

Oh well that's just plain wrong.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:57, Reply)

Sounds sickening

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Why do you think I've been on here so much lately?
When I agreed to let her come over (all the bills and contracts and so on are in my name) I thought she was dead against them too.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

Practice cultivating a homicidal leer
She might get so creeped out that she leaves - or at the very least, stops feeling lovey-dovey.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Not likely
If she can put up with me in the mornings when I'm often too grumpy to speak for the first 30 minutes after getting out of bed, she can put up with anything else I might do.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:02, Reply)

A really disgusting cough?
Surely that'd put anyone off their stride
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:04, Reply)

This has actually made me snicker
And I might have to consider doing it.

Edit: Oh God now she's singing again. My head wants to fall off.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:06, Reply)

QUICK! START COUGHING!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:09, Reply)

Can't at the moment
It makes my head hurt.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:17, Reply)

awww
I know how to say 'Shut up' in Latvian. Lithuanian must be similar.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:18, Reply)

I know a Lithuanian guy whose name looks very much like it should be pronounced Anus
it is not, but it's funny seeing people make that mistake.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:23, Reply)

There's a common Latvian surname, Puke
It means flower and is pronounced 'Puh-chey'
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:26, Reply)

isn't learning fun?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:27, Reply)

My surname means 'Little Drinker'
I'm 5'1" and drink like a fish.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:29, Reply)

Very true!
That Vodka orange went at frightening speed...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:43, Reply)

I had a hangover!
And I thought it was very rude of you, the guys around us and the barman to point out.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Oh no darling, get well soon.
My life isn't that bad at all. Not really.

Alt: Sweets that make you thinner. And bring back sherbert fountains in cardboard tubes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:39, Reply)

Cheers dear
Good to hear it! We need a catch up, yeah? When are you back in the barren wastelands of the north?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:42, Reply)

Like, the 19th or something.
We will get horrendously drunk and vomit into bushes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Awesommmme :D
I come home on the 19th, but I'm sure I can put some vomiting time aside for you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

Yes yes yes yes
It's going to be awesome.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Oh yeah baby
I haven't been to 5th since our brilliant yet rather disasterous trip in the summer.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:57, Reply)

I'm going to hit it so hard all my teeth fall out

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:02, Reply)

mm sherbert fountains
Sorry Lampers can't make it this weekend :( got enough for transport, but I'm so broke I could buy no drink etc
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

:(
No problem bbz. We'll see each other soon enough :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:45, Reply)

In answer to my own question
Solid bars of chocolate made from the coating on gold bars.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:40, Reply)

caramac?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Nah, they're different things.
Oh! While we're at it. Caramac bars thicker than 0.5 millimetres.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:43, Reply)

They'd knacker your fillings

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:43, Reply)

Don't have any.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Chewing gold bars
Sure way to knack your teeth up.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:46, Reply)

I'm working
if that helps?
( Kroney, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Unlucky
No work tomorrow, fridge full of wine, plenty of smokes, Wedding Present on 6 music.

Laughing.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:54, Reply)

heh well...I'm not sick, I can certainly get ice cream if I want and I'm about to get some sex
alt: I'd like a banana flavored marshmallow shaped LIKE a banana, covered in chocolate
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:06, Reply)

OMG! You're going to have sex!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:17, Reply)

She is isn't she.
Go girlfriend!
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:19, Reply)

MORE QOTW LIES OF COURSE
yes, yes I am
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:21, Reply)

Woooooooooooooooooo!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:24, Reply)

I'm pretty hungry
other than that I'm good. Sorry.

I think Minstrels are the height of sweet excellence. Bigger Minstrels might be good though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:20, Reply)

I've been strung along by a girl again.
Although she crashed her car today and text me about it, I text back 'hahahahahahahahahaha' which made me feel better.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:23, Reply)

good lad
not a bad crash I assume?

and how badly strung along?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:25, Reply)

Nah, just skidded in ice and hit something.
It's the girl I posted about in a QOTW last year. We've been talking loads again for about a month now, even been invited round for Christmas dinner. "I've been feeling really close to you lately, I really like you" etc etc

...........then she gets back with her ex.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Sorry Appley, my life's not that shit at all at the moment lately.
but dear GOD I could really go a shag right now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:26, Reply)

Hahaha!
Aren't you having enough excitment already?
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:28, Reply)

^^She's volunteering

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:30, Reply)

nope.
But I'm just putting up new photos on Facebook for you. LOTS of them.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:31, Reply)

I shall have a look tomorrow at work.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:33, Reply)

I can't
She's not my friend.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:48, Reply)

Send a friend request then.
Or is it beneath you?
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:51, Reply)

I couldn't take the rejection
I'd have to be sure she was going to say yes. I need a sign Blousie, won't you give me a sign?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:52, Reply)

I can't believe you haven't shagged any of the b3tans you've met
poor show
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:28, Reply)

ahaha. Even if I had, I wouldn't talk about it.
it's a very very tempting idea though...
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:30, Reply)

Whoever the next (single) person you stay with is, they're going to get jumped, aren't they?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:32, Reply)

I don't think Amberl would take well to any advances I make...

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:35, Reply)

Still, worth a try! haha
You enjoying the UK then?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:36, Reply)

LOVING it. I saw a hoar frost today.
Me and Noel went on a massive long walk in it and it was just incredible. It lasted allllllll day.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:38, Reply)

Sweet, glad to hear it!
Am thoroughly gutted circumstances mean I never got to say hello!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:39, Reply)

sorry!
trains kept getting cancelled - took me 7 hours to get to Blousie's.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:48, Reply)

is she staying with Applebite next?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:35, Reply)

Applebite would totally give her a throw down.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:42, Reply)

man that would be HOT.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:44, Reply)

I reckon she'll at least show you her nipples
One of them for sure.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:45, Reply)

but I'm not meeting her??
at last, not that I'm aware of.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Oh well
no nipples for you I'm afraid.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:50, Reply)

fuck's sake....
I want nipples :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:55, Reply)

try www.nipples.org
Actually, don't as it's probably NSFW.

Just imagine a corset with a really nice boob in it, with a really nice nipple and then imagine a big stainless steel piercing through it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:59, Reply)

nah I'll pass.
I've got my own.
speaking of piercings, I'm fairly sure I"m getting my nose peirced on saturday next week..
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:01, Reply)

I reccomend it
Make sure you get it done with a needle though, not one of those ear piercing guns.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:02, Reply)

yeah I know.
I'm just going to get a really tiny sparkly one. Not a massive one that's poxy and really visible. Just a tiny one.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Good choice.
Right or left nostril
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:09, Reply)

Right one, my left has a slight scar on it so I don't think it would work.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:53, Reply)

Couldn't we all!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:29, Reply)

Oh for god's sake
Now my phone has chosen to die and I'm out of cheese. I'm literally going to go mad with boredom soon, and it's not even nine.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:44, Reply)

I hate it when I run out of cheese
you literally have nothing else to do.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:50, Reply)

This has been how bad my Tuesday has been. Gah.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Once I tried a piece of honey roast ham as a substitute
but it fell apart and then I was lonely again.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:55, Reply)

I'm more worried about my phone
there is a good chance that being without it would cause me to go into withdrawal so badly that I simply cease to exist and wink out of existance, just like *that*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:58, Reply)

That sucks.
I'm be getting a new phone soon.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:01, Reply)

I gibbed out of going to pole.
I have a headache so I'm moping instead. I tried to crochet a cow but it looks like a nipple.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:56, Reply)

I tried to crotchet a nipple
but it looked like a pole dancer.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 20:57, Reply)

that doesn't make a whole lot of sense
but I'll be offended anyway, that's what you were after isn't it?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:02, Reply)

Not really
I was just going with a sort of reversing of your post.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:03, Reply)

well that would be crocheting a nipple that looked like a cow.
or are you calling me a cow?

I'm sad, Al, you should be nicer to me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:05, Reply)

I'm sorry
I think you make lovely cupcakes and you have a pretty face. I also think you make pretty corsets.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:09, Reply)

aww thanks
I feel less sad now :)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:51, Reply)

yay crochet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 21:04, Reply)