Oh, and my story.
Once upon a time, when I was young and desperate to get laid, I put a profile on Faceparty.

Got talking to this rather odd girl from Manchester who seemed to have a dual personality. That should have been warning enough, but as I said I was young and desperate.

So I went to meet her. Not only was she incredibly unnatractive, but she had a personality to match. She also insisted we go to McDonalds (which I hate, not because of any political or ethical stance on the place, but because the food is horrible) where she stuffed her face for what seemed like hours.

I couldn't take any more. After she started whinging at me (she'd only met me an hour ago!) I made my excuses and left.

So that, folks, was my one bad experience with online dating. Having said that, I have met a few very nice people on the Interweb too.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 15:03, Reply)

!!
Oh I get it! Like "arse wipe"!
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:56, Reply)

i assumed
there was a spitroast joke in there somewhere too.

Wrong Wrong Wrong.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:53, Reply)

Disasterprone
A very wrong mental image happened then.
(Calamity wetter than a fish's wet bits - bloody rain on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:51, Reply)

Be even hotter
when my stalking pays off and I get to put her in my oven! A few hours at 200 degrees would do, I think

Yum! Roast Swipe!

Be aware this is not a suggestion of murder or of cannibalism, merely a joke in poor taste.

Or is it?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:46, Reply)

I'm not photogenic
So I don't bother with these things.

RSwipe is hot though.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:44, Reply)

Pooflake
stop whining. This woman is rated a 5. If she is a five I must slash my wrists now.

EDIT: Spikeypickle, I rated your pic a 7. Unfortunately for you all 7 points are for your son.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:40, Reply)

It has been brought to my attention
That my photo bears out the veracity of my stories.

I'm not certain this is a good thing.

hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUNRB-PWU
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:38, Reply)

Somewhere in the 130s
hotornot.com/r/?eid=RRNYGLE-SWR

The username is elderly, from the days of online combat flight sim (the shame)
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:37, Reply)

Vipros
Having a picture of yourself with a guitar means cock-diddley-all...I've been on HoN all day in full action 'guitar-god' pose (Albeit pissed out of my head and playing in a pub as big as a flea's-scrotum but anyhoo)and amassed the total of 4 measley votes...and crap scores too.

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REELRMN&key=GKP&sid=NZ

You are all a bunch of beautiful visions of perfection and I'm going to remove my sorry, ugly-arsed mug from your pert, attractive company forever...I'm not worthy...I know that now.



*sinks deeper into depression*

*continues drinking vodka*

*starts to hate this QOTW and particularly the idea of HoN*

*Desperately wracks his brains to think of where he can find a better picture of himself*

*realising there isn't one..and that my mother and all my past girlfriends were right*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:36, Reply)

Disasterprone
Having reviewed the available evidence, I concur!

Rachelswipe do you enjoy having your merits discussed in this manner?
(Calamity wetter than a fish's wet bits - bloody rain on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:32, Reply)

?
I just posted my photo of me looking like a lard-enjoying piece of lard, and all of you bitter angry people have been voting it up.

As a result, pics are in the opposite order that I expect - my sexy cleavage pic is the lowest, then my smiley pleasant love-everyone face, and my fat slag pic is the highest scoring.

Click through to "Meet me" to see what I mean:
www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REBZRLA&key=KRQ&sid=NZ
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:24, Reply)

Rhatanu
Knowing rswipe, I can say she is...

Sorry mate...

Although when i say knowing, I mean stalking...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:18, Reply)

Time to pimp myself...
Although I look like a criminal...

hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUNRB-PWU

But sexily dangerous I like to think...

And yes, I'm sunburned.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:17, Reply)

HoN
dating sites are not real or about reality. rachelswipe can not be that good looking.http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEYBMK&key=CUP&sid=NZ

sorry, first post and it sucks, but who cares?
(rhatanu, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:15, Reply)

magictorch
the hats worth a ten itself ...
( Trollman, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:09, Reply)

Being a bit blonde
OK, how the bollocks to I get my pic on there?
(Beklet is inexplicably angry, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:05, Reply)

LollyLegs
Sorry kid, you can hide in my shed if you need to.
(Vic Flange, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:58, Reply)

woe is me
I don't seem to be doing to well with my HoN pic so I've changed it to something which will make the ladies hearts melt thus increasing my my score.

It's not a picture of my willy so please don't get to excited.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:57, Reply)

Wha...
......bastard.
( Lollylegs lite, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:57, Reply)

LollyLegs
Surely by revealing your previous monicker, you have now broken cover and all your friends will know your innermost secrets again?
(Vic Flange, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:54, Reply)

ha!
to prove the fickleness of people I have changed my pic on HoN to one of me with my guitar. instant 10 votes!


for shame internet viewing peoples!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:53, Reply)

issues and tissues
finally succumbed to checking out HoN. Have rated a few, all good, needless to say have given grandmasterfluffles, rachelswipe EBD et al 10, who would have thought such sweet looking ladies could have plumbed such depths!
as for me I will only say it is my only comfort that "time, the ill layer up of beauty can do no more spoil upon my face"*
in other words don't need to worry about loosing my looks as I never had any!
just off to find something high
* copywrite Mr. W. Shakespeare. Henry V. only quote I remember from studying the thing in school as I always found it apt.
(The kneeling rifleman Is slowly getting there.., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:51, Reply)

Hot or not!
You know i was on that years ago and it got addictive, i am not particpating! Well especially not after seeing GrandMasterFluffles in the 40s! She is gorgeous!!!!
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:50, Reply)

HoN
I'm looking forward to when we go back to telling amusing anecdotes.
BUT it seems to me that the highest scores on HoN (present company excepted) go to women who look like pouting drag queens, and men who look like jocks at a Spring Break keg party.
Is it because most of the voters are Americans and they stoopid, or because people aren't sure what they find attractive so they just guess?
This stream of bitterness really isn't just because my position in the rankings is lower than those wearing disguise kits, honestly.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:48, Reply)

Lo and behold!
I just asked becuase i saw your picture, i'll go back to my hole now....
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:48, Reply)

I AM LOLLYLEGS
Hear me...explain myself?

I used to be on here as LooSee (before I realised I use that nick for a lot of other things, and friends might find out my filthy secrets if they ever stumble across the QOTW).

I've only posted a few times, i'd try and be more regular but my life is indescribably boring.
( Lollylegs lite, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:45, Reply)

Hmm
As a collective, we're doing alright. 6.9 at last time of checking.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:43, Reply)

dear god
what have i done? joined this purile excercise in vanity...

its a good party hat.

hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUOQK-GTS
(magictorch, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:41, Reply)