Uni Cat
For the last 3 years a cat has been living wild at the halls of residence at my uni.

I swear to God someone in every flat must feed the damn moggy. It now must weigh at least 3 stone.

Hence the name: Fat F**ker
(Endjinn, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:50, Reply)

My dog
Was a slightly insane beagle by the name of Satay.

He liked gravy.
(moo_girl, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:49, Reply)

I went to a Nursery School
that had a 50% White / 50% Pakistani-Indian make up. When we got a new Rabbit, no one could decide on a name that everyone liked, so there was a compromise to the name that everyone liked. Therefore our Rabbits name was 'Abdul Rodney'.

100% fact.
(Greasy Chip Butty, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:48, Reply)

Fairy Pigs!
When i was in nursery school, we had 2 guineapigs called tinkerbell and Tootsie which i think my sister named because she was older then. One after Peter Pans bit of skirt and the otehr after her favorite my little pony.

I remember one day going into the nursery playground (called Watership downs which at the time i found a very creepy name) to look at the petcorner and reconised 2 of the gunieapigs, Mum only went and gave them away.

2 xmas's ago I got 2 goldfish which I called Sasami and Yosho after the characters in the Tenchi Muyo anime. My sister always called them salami and yoshi. Yosho comitted suicide 2 weeks after getting him and sasami died a week before last christmas

My sister had a black goldfish called hufflepuff (coolest name for a fish, ever) and still has a rat called hermionie, both came from some harrry potter books you may have heard about....

And my best friend Charlie/Dave got a canary called Brodie from mallrats that sgit everywhere but we loved the lil fella. then she decided to get him a mate called boobookittyfuck that killed brodie.
That evil twat died soon after,proberly killed itself cause we were pissed off
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:47, Reply)

My cat is Kato
My cat is called Kato. He is Burmese - anyone familiar with this breed will know that they think they are humans and also tend to exhibit strange, almost human antics. I have always been a fan of the Pink Panther films, and thought that Kato would be an amusing name for him. The strange thing was he actually became like Kato over a period of 3 years. I taught him how to jump up onto my shoulder with a gesture, but to him it meant that it was ok to do that to anyone, any time...
My next door neighbour was showering one morning, naked, eyes probably full of shampoo, when suddenly Kato (who had got in through her window) leapt up from behind onto her shoulder. Now, imagine the fright. I can't even begin to.
Recently I have taught him to retrieve like a dog. He will bring his toy back and leave it at my feet so that I can throw it for him again.
Kato, what are you doing, Kato? Not now Kato, you fiend. Help!
(Don Baba, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:45, Reply)

my cat's called brian blessed
not much more to add
( Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:43, Reply)

two cats
i had a cat called Bam Bam, he was a psycho cat who used to wait at the top of the stairs and pounce on anyone coming up... i also used to have a cat called runty, i didnt like her very much she had evil eyes
(Limited IQ, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:42, Reply)

pet names
two goldfish called Victor (both called Victor as I can't tell them apart) - beacuse every three seconds they meet each other again for the first time and say "I don't believe it, there's another fish in here!"

a cat called Guinness (brought up in a pub) - mostly black with white on the top of her head. she lost a leg to a fox and is now mostly called Tripod.

a cat called Gregory - when my baby brother was due, my nan insisted he be called Gregory. my parents really didn't like the name (sorry to all Gregorys out there) so they bought a cat, named it Gregory and told my nan "oh dear, we can't have two Gregorys in the house..."
(juicy_lucy, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:40, Reply)

Looking back at a previous story about a cat called duffus
brings back memories of my walk to prmary school. Once we started on a ew route, we bumped into this huge blob of a cat which was a tortashel i believe, white withe ginger and black bits. After bumping into this thing we always went that way to say hello to it for 2 years. We called him Fat Cat Conker!!!!!!!!! *sigh*

Oh, and the litten we had that got ranover before we got the 2 cats we have today *breaths in*, He was called Spooky cause he was black with white paws and a white splodge on his mouth n chin that glowed in the dark....
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:30, Reply)

Not a pet...
But I have a toy donkey called Don Quixote...
(Fi, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:19, Reply)

One easter my mum decided to get me and my sister Hamsters instead of easter eggs
So when staying at my grandparents house in north wales, Me and my older sister were taken to the petshop where we knew the owner quite well. He had a big cockatoo (those white parrots with yellow head crest) called Fluffy as a pet that always pulled his feathers out.......

Anyway, back to my story. Id never had a hamster before so after looking at them all, the assistant picked the one i wanted, which bit him, then my sister when she stroked it, then my mum, the owner and when I got him to the house, me. So I called him Snapper.

My sister chose heres because it was a different colour and the fact that she dropped it a few times. Mum said she sould call it spatz cause it had white feet. I think she ment spakka. that little bastard killed mine soon after it bit me and lived for anotehr 5 years. Bless.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 12:17, Reply)

Police dog
My dad had a police dog called Honey. I bet that name struck fear into the footpads and ne'erdowells. We also had a rabbit which we called Mutley Plain. We found Mutley in the woods and, as it was summer, we sat in the garden with our lunch and our new friend Mutley. He roamed around nibbling our salad before making for the white wine, which he drank, like a country gent, out of a glass. Mutley died the next day.
(geetoo, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:58, Reply)

i went to school
near a castle.
At age 15 - 16 we would go and sit amoungst the ruins and drink special brew and cidar etc.
There was a really fluffy wild cat who lived in the castle grounds who would come over and chill will us. He had been a pet at some point because when we first met him he had a tag-sporting collar with "Doufus" etched into it, although he soon lost that. Doufus was easily recognisable as he has that condition where the cats paws are all massive and funny like little furry boxing gloves.
He was great. Not scared of anything. Really relaxed around us all and i still love him.
About 5 years later, long after leaving the school, i took a girlfriend from out of town to the castle and told her the story of Doufus.
Just as i said "and i haven;t seen him for years!" doufas ran around the corner and came right up to me and did that purry headbutt thing into my shins. I honestly almost cried with joy.

yay doufus!!
( biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:57, Reply)

Let's see...
Guinea pig called Penfold, after the Danger Mouse character. Rabbit called Jess, fuck knows why. An all black rabbit with powerful hind legs called Jonah, after Jonah Lomu. Another rabbit called J.J. after the F1 driver J.J. Lehto, he was then renamed Jerome - couldn't get my brother to rename Jonah as Robson though (I was a sad child). Goldfish called Michael Fish, Jasper Carrott ('cos he was orange) and Lenny Henry (who had a black tail). Erm... recently a hamster called Zippy, as he zipped around in his younger days before becoming a lazy fat bloater, and Penfold (again) is the name of our current hamster. If I have any more pets I'll try and give them better names.
( useful_idiot, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:46, Reply)

Not mine
But a woman in town was calling over her three legged dog, Tripod.
( Kolonel, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:41, Reply)

pet names
My wife and I have had 5 cats of which there are 2 survivors. The first three were sadly, all run over. They were named Tizer, Marmite and Branston. Since their demise we have changed our naming policy and stopped calling our animals brand names. We still have "Treacle" and "Stumpy" though. Stumpy is so called because she is small and has a very short deformed tail. This hasn't stopped our three year old daughter from renaming her "Goggle". I know not why.
(urgle-splurgle molesting small goats since, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:39, Reply)

Bacardi and Coke
A mate of mine named her evil cats Bacardi and Coke. Horrible little Persian type things with too much fur. Sadly after about a year Bacardi mysteriously became ill and died. The cause of death? Liver poisoning. How I laughed. My mate wouldn't speak to me for weeks when I commented that maybe she should call her next beloved pet 'Natural Causes'.
(im_a_cuckoo, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:32, Reply)

my friend's cat is called jimbob, and is completly blind. Whilst walking around the kitchen one day, the cat walked onto the cooker, and burnt his cock. so i call him 'peenerburner'

my dog is called dauftron, but i dont know why
(mrmonkfish yolo420weedwizard, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:18, Reply)

I am never very good when it comes to naming our house's pets
so far we have

a cat - named Cat
a dog - named Dog
and two fish - Fish 1 and Fish 3

(we used to have 3 fish)
(monkeyinasuit, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:09, Reply)

Mum
My mums got a bald pussy!!
(Mapper, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 11:06, Reply)

I had a good one to tell but
... too bad, it's in french. My friend thought her cat was a female, until she went to the vet. So she changed the name just a bit, and... I can't translate puns. Sorry !
(samboussek, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 10:46, Reply)

The Legend of Thingy
As a child, my mum used to own a cat called Thingy. This was short for Wild Thing. It was scared of the floor. It would climb round the room on the top of all the furniture, then jump on the floor and run upstairs, where it would jump into the toilet if the lid was up.

It would refuse to get out of the toilet until someone flushed it.

I know this sounds like a load of scandellous lies, but both my mum and my uncle swear it's the truth. But then maybe I should have posted this a while back in "Lies Your Parents Told You"...
(Endjinn, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 10:44, Reply)

here we go again
I've got crabs - itchy and scratchy.
( insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 10:36, Reply)

Rommel
he's a Gerbil, he likes to destroy anything (as all gerbils do I guess), and well, he looks like a desert-thingy, so I called him after Rommel, the WWII "Desert Fox"

Oh, and I used to have a mous called Hannibal (I think you can figure that one out).
(NoToRiouS, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 10:35, Reply)

Cooking Fat
I've a cat called Cooking Fat. It was named that after I'd tripped over 20 bloody times..

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 10:18, Reply)

Pet Names
I've got a cat (oh yes I do), and he's called Cefor. (Go on, figure it out...it's not that tricky.)

I've a chum with a dog called Gruff..on account of the pathetic bark it makes.

But friends of a friend trump them thar names. As students, they hey had (at various times) Haggis, Chips and Peas.....Kalashnikov, Uterus and Bob....and a pair called Plug and Socket. Nice !
( Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 9:51, Reply)

The Flower Children
I got a cat - thought it was a boy - named it William. Noticed that he was a she and renamed her 'Sweet William'. When she died I scattered her ashes in a bed of Sweet William flowers. Next came 'Posey' (constantly posing) and guess what the future holds for her?
(garagesalesusan, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 9:49, Reply)

a mate of mine at work has two corn snakes..
called Kellogg and Crunchy Nut.
( Lynxkitten, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 9:36, Reply)

We had
a miniature poodle called Wicky Wicky Woo Woo (no idea why). For such a small dog, the amount of shit and vomit it contained was amazing. It hated men and would vomit on me while I was asleep and shit on my dad's newspapers whenever he put them down.

Then it developed stealth technology and would creep into my room during the night and shit in my slippers or on the floor next to my bed. It was a lovely feeling next morning of cold poodle shit squidging up between my toes....
( Goatpod, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 9:28, Reply)

pet names
We have had two cats for a couple of years now that laze about and do nothing but sponge off us, so we named them charlie and millie after prince charles and his gorgeous(!)girlfriend camilla parker "bowels".
Somehow, we've ended up also calling Charlie as Charlie Brown, (which became Mr Brown), Lord Charles, or the President( after Charles de Gaulle).
We recently acquired a third one (sounds a bit suss that doesn't it,"acquired" but we paid twenty quid for it, all above board). The obvious thing to do with it being a lady cat was to call it diana so that it Charles, Camilla, and Diana could all co-exist peacefully together, but my good lady wouldn't let me call it that.
Much debate ensued-for a wee cat it had quite a pronounced rear end, so I thought J-Lo was a good name but that was binned too.
We've ended up with a cat called Meryl, which people might assume was named after Meryl Streep, but that's not the case.
Anyone who remembers the two old nutters that worked in the Charity Shop in The League of Gentlemen TV Series will recall they always blamed anything bad that happened on "that Meryl", the other old dear that worked in the shop that you never saw or met.
Meryl is a nutter of a cat, just a kitten still really, and gives the other two a torrid time, and generally tries to destroy everything it finds.
So, ripped up newspapers and magazines, flowers ripped to bits, washing pulled off clothes racks and re-distributed around the room, etc are all met with the cry "THAT MERYL!!!!!!"
(birdman of alkie-traz, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 9:27, Reply)