Can I Just....
Point something out?

A couple of people have posted "my daughter and girlfriend" stories and I instantly think:

"You fucking perve! Going out with your own daughter!"

Whereas, if you said:

"My daughter and also my girlfriend"

It would clear up the confusion.

Sorry for being a Nazi but I've a fucking wicked hangover. Thats because last night I got
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 10:00, Reply)

Save the tomato!
There seems to be a lot of bad press for tomatoes these days, everyone going on about how nasty and squishy and tough they are; well heres a tip.
Supermarket tomatoes are nasty and evil and horrible. Fresh, well grown tomatoes that haven't spent the last month being shipped from abroad are heavenly and juicy and delicious and can be eaten alone like an apple. Just try it; it's like a whole different fruit.
Otherwise, if you really want a flavour explosion fry some cherry tomatoes until they lose all consistency and form a delicious tangy dip. Mmmmmm
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 9:58, Reply)

Sis' boyfriend
Has a bizzare and irrational fear of chemicals and chemical contamination and as such won't take any form of medication for anything unless you practically force it down him which you could probably only do if you could prove that he would die if he didn't take it. That in itself while a bit neurotic isn't strange but the weird thing is that one night during his youth he was rocking the ganga (apparantly this is alright as it's a plant and thus natural and not a chemical). He and his friends were eating... I think it was popcorn although I'm not sure anyway at the end of the night he tried to do the dishes but some of the popcorn fell in the sink and 'reacted' whatever that means with the chemicals he was using to wash the dishes and foamed up and resembled cheese somehow. This has since prompted a life long phobia of cheese, the man eats takeaway pizza sans cheese. That one's pretty odd.

I personally won't eat mushrooms or fish of any variety but there's no interesting story behind that I just find them repulsive.
(StumpsForArms&NoEyebrows, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 9:48, Reply)

House mates
My girl friend's house mate is vegan, and I don't mean the 'I don't like the taste of meat'type, I mean the 'fire and brimstones, death to meat-eaters!' type.
Anyway, aside from the fact she won't sit in the same room as me when I'm eating, preparing, holding or otherwise in possession of raw OR cooked meat, she's pretty normal.

If slightly obsessive.
To prevent 'contamination' she has her own designated area, spanning three quarters of the kitchen work surface that is perpetually covered in decaying green moss. She has her own washing up bowl, vegan washing up liquid (?), etc, etc.

However, it's what she DOESN'T have that amuses me.
I mean, if you're anal enough to demand a separate microwave (true story), you're anal enough to buy your own washing up SPONGE, and maybe some sort of hand-made, fair-trade, organic, vegan, free-range DISH TOWEL? Apparently not.

Ooh, and my favorite story about the person in question. Being vegan she is ridiculously thin and takes enough dietary pills each day to make her rattle.
But she won't use one set of pills named 'Vegan multi-vitamin' because I convinced her than Vit-D can only be made in animal tissue.

Dumbass.
( Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 9:47, Reply)

Out of date food
Apparently when I was little I would refuse to eat food that was on or a day or so before it's best before date. I'd make a point of checking all the time.

Kindof sensible I guess.

Nowadays - if it's beyond it's best before date, I'll cook it and try it first - I generally flex this dependant on the product. Canned food will last at least 3-4 months beyond the "date".

No food poisoning yet.

Dairy products excepted. Of course.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 9:35, Reply)

my mate
is so bloody picky, it borders on amusing.
she will buy a tuna salad roll, then take off all the cucumber, all the tomato, the crisp lettice(she only likes it soggy :S) and the onion. why doesn't she just buy plain tuna? Because she likes the taste the salad leaves behind! This little act takes so long everyone has finished eating before she starts
(kellogg going slowly insane, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 9:08, Reply)

Me?
I will eat most food, but I cannot stand the wrong sort of pasta. Yep, if it's bolognese sauce, it has to be spaghetti. If it's pasta bake, it has to be shells. I can think of no use for the little bow-ties.
( Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 9:00, Reply)

paste
she wouldn't do the paste....
take me all the way to the important bit, no problem: but no paste.
she's an ex now.
as bill hicks sed: i don't understand why women don't make blow jobs the focal point of their existence...
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:58, Reply)

My brother's friend only eats
oven chips.
( Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:56, Reply)

Crisps
Well, most crisps. Skips are ok. And I hate toast with butter and jam, it's got to be one or the other.

Strangely, I love most of the things being posted on here! I must be a freak...
(Slotbun Happiness is a Jaffa Cake In Each Cheek, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:44, Reply)

can't eat the meat
when I was 12, we were shown at school footage of how pigs and cows are slaughtered (If I remember rightly, it was in a Geography class. which is odd). Cue every girl in the room turning veggie overnight, including me.

A week later, whilst the other girls had lapsed, I'd stopped getting chronic tummy ache, cold sweats and was sleeping better. Turns out I can't eat the meats. I gave up chicken the next week, and my well-being improved hugely. My brother, ever the wit, called me a cow.

I can still eat fish and seafood*, which is just as well as they're my favourite, but I do miss salami. I hate bacon, always have, but salami... I'll sneak a bit when the boyfriend isn't looking, but I pay for it later.

I'm 28 in a couple of weeks, never lapsed in 14 years, and I think for a half-veggie I'm pretty easy going. Except for mushrooms, which are still the sweaty tramp's testicles of satan.

I'll add this: being vegetarian in no way excuses anyone preparing you the following for a christmas meal - grated carrot and cabbage, mixed with chopped nuts and egg, baked, with a mushroom gravy. It was very hard not to retch.

*I had an allergic raction to some antibiotics over new year, and found the trigger for vomiting violently was seafood. For ages just the thought of it could make me retch, and I'm still fighting it now. Very weird.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:42, Reply)

Milk
You'd think this would put me off

I went into my fridge and although something seemed odd, it didn't twig. I then grabbed the milk carton and took a full on pint swig.

It occured to me a moment later that the fridge light was off.

Then it occured to me that the milk smelt funny.

And tasted funny.

I sprinted to the sink and coughed and spluttered and almost vomited up about a pint of rank, off, separated milk. Nice.

I spent the next week being really cagey about going near milk.

I'm over it now :-)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:41, Reply)

Raw liver
made me feel rank for years. My next door neighbours dog had puppies about 20 years ago and we all stayed up all night to witness the joys of doggy birth. Out pops pup number one, bit messy but "Awwww...." all the same, then out pops the afterbirth. For those not familiar with this it looks like a good kilo of offal covered with slime and blood. This is deemed to good a waste of nutrients to just discard by our furry friends, so, yum,yum, down it went, in practically one mouthful. Couldn't handle raw meat for weeks and specifically liver for years after that, and I can feel myself gagging even now just remembering it.

Come to think of it I think that Fearnley Whittingstall chap cooked human placenta for someone on the telly once, the fecking minger!!
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:39, Reply)

Drinking
I've just realised something.

This isn't about what I won't eat, but I absolutely hate the sound of someone drinking - it's the gulping noise I don't like. If there's no noise in the room, I'll shuffle and cough and do anything to drown out the noise.

Mad. Yep.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:34, Reply)

weird ex-girlfriend
I went out with a girl that had a phobia of cheese.. proper irrational.. she just couldn't go near it.. couldn't look at it, think about it, smell it.. anything.. otherwise she'd cringe and run away.
Obviously i took advantage of this whenever i wanted her to fuck off.
(binarymilk Rossz csillag alatt született, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:23, Reply)

tomatoes... in certain form
I will only eat a tomatoe if it's been cooked/baked in with something else. If it's a cold slice of tomatoe on a sandwich, I can't do it.....

I eat anything else though....... as long as it's in the norm.

When is comes to sushi though, anything goes for me... I'll eat any type of fish raw when it comes to sushi

.......... but hold the cold tomatoe
(Sebowe Aphex says I have a killer pout, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 8:01, Reply)

Indian Food
I have a love-hate relationship with Indian food - some days I love it, some days I hate it.

It's not always how it tastes on the way down - it's more how it feels the next morning.

Make the burning stop!
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 7:52, Reply)

oysters and mussles
*blargh*
cannot stand the things.

Also, don't like squid. So imagine the fun I had during the language trip to spain where i got a host family...and they ate *+#q! paella every second bastard day.
so yeah. I don't like the "seafruit" stuff.
Love fish, crab and all that kinda stuff though :)

also cannot eat blue cheese, like stilton or something. ggah...
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 7:36, Reply)

potatoes
I once worked with a girl who would only eat potatoes. When I asked "Why? Do you have food allergies?", she said "No, when I was a kid I was really fussy and would only ever eat potatoes, so my parents only ever fed me potatoes."

Some people should be sterilized...
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 6:28, Reply)

Posting this on behalf of my sister...
My brother, dashing and handsome though he is, utterly refuses to eat brussel sprouts.
One night when he was little (and yet to blossom into the great man he now is) mum refused to let him leave the table until he'd eaten everything, including sprouts.
The stubborn bastard (albeit charming now), sat there for two hours until they were grey and cold.
"Eat them!" she demanded.
"If I do I'll vomit," he sobbed.
"EAT THEM!" she repeated.
So he did. Sat at the table and threw up everywhere.
I recorded the whole event on an old reel-to-reel tape recorder and took a pic of him puking which I now bring out and show off at family events.
I truly am a bitch.
Not like my lovely brother.
Nobody offers him sprouts anymore though.

(I've decided I quite like writing about myself in the third person. This must be how the queen feels. I'm off to buy a corgi).
( difficultchild, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 3:21, Reply)

Hare, Hare Krishna, Krishna Rama, Rama spunk.
Thanks to a shaven-headed dyslexic hippy, I've never been able to eat Semolina.
Let's flash back a few years (insert wavy lines here).
So here we are in high school*, with a rather progressive teacher whose idea of religious instruction is not to force feed us the Bible, but to introduce us to many many religions and let us decide for ourselves.
We visit a Baptist coven, a Catholic synagogue and so on (clearly I learned a lot) and in time come to a Hare Krishna temple.
The kindly devotee tells us all about his beliefs and then introduces us to the vegetarian feast we will be sharing.
I forget the names, but as each dish rolls out he tells us what it is and what's in it.
"This is Bibblebibble, it's a deep fried cauliflower, theis is Garbledgibber, it's chick peas in a curry sauce" and so on until dessert arrives.
"And this is Semenola... you all know what's in that."



*That girl in the corner is Fiona, keep an eye on her, she turns out to be spectacular in a few years and you might stand a chance. God knows I never did..
( difficultchild, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 3:13, Reply)

Nobody pickier than vegans
I can't stand vegans. Most of the vegans I've met have been some of the most irritating, intolerant douches around. They have so many weird arbitrary rules they're as fun as an orthodox Christian.

In high school I was friends with a girl named Leslie who was pretty cool. When she got to university she suddenly radicalised, started dyeing her hair, going to protests, doing weirdass new-age shit. She lived with her family, so when she became vegan they did everything they could to accomodate her. I talked to her older sister once, who told me about this. Her mom would cook two dinners--she'd make her daughter a vegan meal so she wouldn't have to eat what they were eating. Pretty nice thing to do, isn't it? So every meal, this girl would come down, eat her algae or whatever, and yell at her family "Murderers! How can you do such a horrible thing as eating meat?"
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 3:09, Reply)

Fscking Eggs!
Cannae stand the buggers. I can eat stuff with egg in it, but even looking at scrambled or boiled or whatever egg makes me want to puke. Strangely, I can sometimes eat quiche, and maybe omelet, but it has to have loads of stuff in it (like a chinese omelet).

I last ate an egg when I was 4, and I can still remember throwing it back up, a whole 34 years ago.
(Pleiades, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 3:04, Reply)

a friend of my ex...
...was so averse to cucumbers it was weird. Story goes that someone who knew his dreadful secret, and who was in the mood for highjinks, posted this guy a cucumber wrapped in foil and all sorts of padded bizarreity. And I have it on good authority that the parcel got thrown straight in the bin because he could "tell there was a cucumber in it", such was his loathing.

Puzzling. Probably not true, but just thought I'd share.
(meggcup, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 2:34, Reply)

peanut butter.
My little brother (not so little now, the fucker) refused to eat anything but peanut butter sandwiches for a whole week, despite my parents tearing their hair out, crying, pleading, begging, bribing. A week passed, and he had a pizza.

For the next week all he would eat was pizza.

If that happened now they'd probably take him into care.
(meggcup, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 2:29, Reply)

Fucking gluten
coming over here, stealing our jobs.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 2:27, Reply)

I'm picky
I'm a picky eater these days. In my twenties I could eat anything. Now let's see what's off the menu.

Bread: I can't eat regular bread. Well I can, but I feel bloated and disgusting for a couple of days, and pay the price in the bathroom. I can, however, eat sourdough bread.

Milk: Love ice cream. Lactose intolerant these days so that's out. Hard cheese doesn't nail me though. Milk in any other form will.

Mincemeat: As in ground up cow. For reasons unknown, eating this makes me very ill. Yet I'm fine with other forms of beef.

In short, my digestive system has developed some sort of strange psychosis.
(Bonedwarf is the size of a lemon, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 2:05, Reply)

Rhubarb
Haven't been able to eat rhubarb from a young age. My mum used to grow it in the garden and once or twice a summer, she'd have enough to make a crumble.

As a youngster I was often out playing in the garden, and on numerous occasions used to see our pet Golden Retriever pissing on these big leafy plants in the corner. About a year later, I was asking my mum what everything was in the garden (as little kids tend to do), and she told me that the big leafy plants were in fact the rhubarb.

Even now, just the smell of it instantly makes me think of dog piss. And from memory, it's really sour too, which I imagine is what dog piss tastes like. Can anyone confirm this?
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 2:03, Reply)

Milk
A friend of mine is grossed out by milk.

Not the taste, MILK in general. He can't look at it, in ANY form, the written WORD included, and can't even LISTEN to the WORD 'milk' without feeling sick. If he's "exposed" to it long enough, he starts dry-retching like a cat with a hairball... and he hasn't got a clue why!

What's even funnier/sadder is that he... kind-of acts like a cat. He's dangerously agile, leaps around the place, loves fish, and like a cat with a butterfly, he'll chase birds. You'd think that, like your average tom, he'd love milk too, but, no, he's disgusted by it.
(Corner-Cautious Gravy is the new Botox, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 2:01, Reply)

Millitant Veggies are the same as religious extremists
I'll start off by pointing out that I myself am a veggie (and for the ethical reasons too). I've met a lot of millitant veggies, and it sounds like you lot have aswell.

Just because a piece of meat touches your food on the BBQ, you're not going against your morals by eating it. The way I see it, we don't eat meat so that we're not creating a demand for it, and hopefully less animals will be killed.

People who take it too far are the same as religious fundamentalists in my eyes. They're missing the point of why they became vegetarian in the first place. In some cases I even think it's OK to eat stuff that only uses byproducts of the meat industry, like stock cubes. I'm sure most militant veggies (apart from vegans) still wear leather shoes - thats an animal product, but demand for leather doesn't lead to more animals being killed (apart from maybe certain very expensive leathers).

Anyway, rant over and something a bit more 'on topic'...

I used to know a girl who was Gluten intolerant, Lactose intolerant, had Irritable Bowel Syndrome, refused to eat vegetables and to top it all, she decided to become vegetarian. I think she was allergic to MSG as well.

Glad I never went out with her - finding a restaurant would have been a nightmare.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 1:39, Reply)