Woman are sooooo flimsy
By every measure woman spend more time being "ill" than men. Days off work sick, prescription and self medication usage, visits to doctors. Check out the adverts for medicines on the telly, there's a reason why they're nearly all directed at women.

There's women I work with who complain about some minor headache or chill every fucking day. They seem to use it as a social activity "I've got a headache" will be met with "So have I"

Women have a particular self absorption when it comes to health, they believe they are soldiering on through some sort of illness 75% of the time.

They "suffer" massively from made up problems. Slow Digestive Transit, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Environmental Sensitivities.

And that's how the man flu myth arose. When men are ill WE ARE ACTUALLY ILL and take ourselves to bed for a day or so, then go back to work, were we remain well for 6-12 months....invariably to be met by a comment about man flu from some women, with a desk draw full of tablets, who takes 5 times as many days of sick.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 31 Dec 2009, 8:58, 13 replies)

HAPPY NEW YEAR
to all the ladies out there...
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 8:00, 2 replies)

I am sick and tired of the "Stop Violence against women campaign"
Particularly in western society, it is outright discrimination. Stopping violence against everyone is a good thing, but why just women? When you read their propaganda, violence includes controlling
-spending.
-who their friends are
-what they wear.
also denigration.

I have yet to meet a woman who themselves does not use these measures in a relationship. Does that mean that males must accept what women consider abuse? Why?
In our so called advanced society, why am I not afforded the same rights as the vagina owners club?
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 4:48, 14 replies)

a MALE friend once stayed up all night with work the next day just so he could beat his housemate's computer game record by 2 seconds
someone please explain? i like computer games but i struggle to comprehend how someone could like them this much.
(ladyintheradiator, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 0:17, 18 replies)

Men from sexist countries
I've always found that men from sexist countries, such as Saudi Arabia, or Greece maybe, never ever have any trouble pulling. They also seem to get away with the cheesiest, most over-the-top chat-up lines.

Where is the justice in this eh?
(Cameltoad, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 23:31, Reply)

Are these related?
1.There's a subset of woman who claim they don't fart, and moan about how men fart all the time.

2. There's loads of adverts on the telly with woman complaining they feel bloated?

Does this mean woman are too fucking dumb to fart?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 30 Dec 2009, 21:54, 3 replies)

Wanking
Men are definitely better at this than women...
(tingtwatter Eating loads of red meat since, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 21:48, 13 replies)

A cleaner walked into a break-out area in the office last week
pushing one of those floor polishers. She slides it past me and says morning out of sheer politeness.

For no reason in particular I point at a load of scrapes on the side of the machine she is carting about and say "Look at the marks on that, you can tell a woman's been driving it."

She doesn't say morning to me anymore.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 21:22, 1 reply)

Speaking of ribbons
is the ribbon for prostate cancer brown? And if not, it should be.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 21:05, 3 replies)

Beware the Sock Gap!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy1_1TUrWs8

On the other hand, often I've seen naughty images of women in socks, or even shoes. Apparently that's seen as sexy by some.

If she can wear socks because her feet get cold, why can't we?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 30 Dec 2009, 20:39, 4 replies)

Ashley! Ashley!!!
I know this isn't exactly an answer to the actual Q in this QOTW, but since when has that stopped anyone? Anyway, it's not far off......

I once supplied equipment, staging, PA etc for an International Women's Day event, which was held in a shopping centre (where else?), taking care of the tech duties myself.

It was an easy gig, going smoothly, no stress. I can't recall most of what was going on, women's stuff, I guess, but for some reason they had got a "Celebrity" to address the masses. This celeb was a well-known figure from a popular soap opera, I SAY soap opera. (And if you haven't worked it out from the title or that clue, well, tough)

He was obviously "well refreshed", which is not a good omen at 11am, and after letting me give him the standard pep talk (ie. "speak INTO the mic and don't wander in front of the speakers" etc) he promptly took the mic and told the woman who introduced him, an old biddy in a body stocking (no hint of flesh, thank God) pretending to be Lady Godiva, that she had a lovely pair of tits. I did nothing, I couldn't believe it, I froze at the mixing desk. Did he just say that out loud? The organiser, a woman with a bushier moustache than mine, dropped her clipboard, I could see her in my peripheral vision, open mouthed and wide eyed. That'll be a "yes" then, he fucking said it.

He then strode out in front of the sea of women, and I can say that I think he and I were the only men in the immediate vicinity, and asked what they were all doing there, why the fuck weren't they at home doing the washing? I say "asked", it was more a snarl.

Now at that point, I laughed, I'll confess to that, but it was purely a nervous laugh, stemming from the fact I could see the whole show going down the drain. The organiser is frantically drawing her hand across her throat, mouthing for me to kill his mic, FFS.
He fired off a couple more old Les Dawson gags before I managed to regain control of my limbs and cut the mic, whereupon Fre....um, the man, was led off stage.
I would swear in court that I have seen genuine Tumbleweed blow through a shopping centre in the West Midlands, there was absolute silence. Apart from me, giggling, like, well, like a schoolgirl, obviously.

Strangely enough, we weren't invited back the next year.
(Rsoles, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 20:15, 3 replies)

I think this is due to Victoria Coren, but don't be put off...
If a bloke sniffs some milk from the fridge and thinks it is off he makes a face and puts it straight back. A woman throws it away.
( electric_goat, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 20:04, 7 replies)

I hate my Mum..
actually, I don't, I just hate the impression of women that she imprinted on my mind when growing up.

No, not the "ditzy, stupid, loves pink" sort of woman, more the "says what she wants, does what she wants, how she wants" sort of woman whilst still loving her poor "stupid" husband.

The reason I hate her for this? Simple, try finding another woman like it! Every woman I see when I'm out falls into category A (Bad) rather than category B (Good).

Yet she still has the gall to complain at me for being single after how she bought me up!
(Laxly, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 19:12, 2 replies)

Bollocks
Everyone knows the colour of the Breast cancer ribbon and we have days at work where we wear pink and there are Moon walks/Marathons/Toddles etc.....

Can anyone tell me what colour the ribbon is for Testicular cancer?(Without googling/Wikiing it?)

Seems a bit unfair to blokes
(DryGoldfish, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 19:10, 16 replies)

Sexism is easy to fantastically warp out of proportion
It's easy for us men to say that we are the macho race; if there is anything important that needs handling then yes, we are the people to ask! Put down that posi-driver woman, you'll have your eye out with that. See how I use it to change this fuse, I am so fucking tested up with adrenaline being the protective man in this family, look at what I provide! You can watch your soap-opera in the safe knowledge that if the TV blows a fuse again, I will be there to protect you.

But in reality it's quite neutral really. Gone are the days of men hunting wild game in fields to provide to the family dinner (I think that time was called the 70's). Some women are as bad as men, as they automatically don't want to involve themselves in a problem and leave it to men to fix eg "Why won't facebook load?" and "Why won't this car start?".

I remember this woman once though who had been through the rough of it and never let the fact that she was a woman let her down. Thoroughly independant and determined that she was, she would always get things done herself without relying upon anything a man did and would always do it with finess. I would then save the game and turn Tomb Raider off, then go back to reality.

Fucking women, no wonder the French invented gay.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 18:13, 6 replies)

Tools, need I say more?
Why is it that the female species cannot understand the sacred nature of a man's toolkit? When the time is taken to care for, clean and arrange tools in a LOGICAl manner, what is it in the female psyche that compels them to 1) lose said tools; 2) leave them out in the weather; 3) misuse (using a $50 chisel as a screwdriver and subsequently a hammer); 4) complain because the phillips head doesn't work on a flat head screw; 5) leave them covered in craft glue, etc. I don't screw with the legion of hair brushes, combs, picks, curlers, straighteners - don't get me started on the make-up kit, so why is it so hard to figure out that if it was taken from Place A and clean, it should not be returned in the same fashion? Is this too much to ask for?
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 18:12, 5 replies)

Speaking of booze
Why is it ok for a woman to tip drink over a bloke, but if the bloke tips a drink over the woman, he gets slung out of the pub?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 17:23, 6 replies)

Booze
Has anybody noticed that binge drinking only came about when women started going out and getting rat-arsed? It wasn't binge drinking when blokes used to go to pub, have 9 pints, vomit in the street and go home.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 16:42, 5 replies)

I can't remember where I heard this, and I can't think who it's sexist to, but...
...the difference between men and women is easily identified by the things we do for cancer charities:

Women - train for months to run the 5k Race For Life, with all their mates, in a pink T-shirt.

Men - sit on their arses for a month growing a 'tache for Movember, on their own, in their pants.

Either men are lazy or women are stupid. Or both. But hey, when hundreds of millions of pounds of sponsorship is being raised for a good cause, who really gives a shit?
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 16:40, 5 replies)

Ah yes - Maggie Thatcher

I won't be sexist and say that she had more balls than most of her front bench, because she didn't. She had more womb and ovaries than then rest of them put together.

Whether that was a good thing or not, I couldn't possibly say.

Length? 12" and never goes floppy. Oh, hang on, that's my ruler.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 16:15, 5 replies)

It's all their fault
X-Factor getting the Chrimbo No.1's the last few years, blooming women flocking out like sheep to buy the latest pretty boy winner's single. Took a man to get a campaign going and get an alternative single to the top of the charts. Well done that chap but it still didn't stop the girlies getting their precious little boy to no.1 a week later.

Soap opera's, loved by women innit? Not many manly men go about talking about what's-his-name shagging what's-her-name while three murders are being committed by rabid rabbits down the allotement under the pale moon sky.

Women are to blame for this nation turning into a pack of loony voyeurs with all that Big Bruv in the jungle while strictly dancing on ice. Damn it all to hell, keep your eyes on your own life and this country wouldn't be in such a moral mess.

JFK, blown away. Probably would have lived if the missus obviously hadn't put her foot down and demanded the roof be down so she can get some 'fresh air'.

Hole in the ozone, women and their sodding CFC hair sprays during most of the last century. We're all gonna die 'cos you ladies wanted a beehive hairdo that could suvive gale force winds. Fire you all up into orbit to plug the gap.

Afghanistan, bloody Maggie could've put a stop to all of this before it started by telling the Yanks not to supply the Taliban all those guns to get the Ruskies out of the country back in the 80's. That came back to haunt us and poor Tony is getting a rollicking for trying to fix her mess.

We're all doomed I tell ye, doooooooooooooooooooo(intake of breath)ooooooooooooomed.

Like several other chaps who have posted already, yes I am single.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 15:53, 15 replies)

Driver-based sexism.
I was in a multi-storey a few weeks ago, and I heard a loud noise. It was the characteristic sound of a bell-end approaching. That 'whob, whob, whob, whob' noise that can only mean 1 thing. A chav is coming nearer, and the bass from his speakers (inevitably HIS speakers) is so loud I can hear it outside of the car.

I turned around to see nobody near, and the noise kept on increasing. Suddenly, this thing came into view from the 'up' ramp, and I realised I had been hearing this racket through a foot or two of concrete. As the car drew nearer I realised that it was the 'special' kind of noisy car, an affront to both the eyes and ears alike. Purple 'things' sprouted from both bumpers, and the windows were dangerously tinted.

I realise I am very much an old man when it comes to loud music, but this thing was so loud it was ridiculous. It actually hurt my ears as it drove past, such was the bass coming out of it. (Not the engine, I should add, it was a lawn-mower special...) The noise inside must have been frighteningly loud.

As I watched, this monstrosity squealed into a space, without braking at all, until the very last second, parked up and the door opened. The noise from within blasted into the car park like the trumpets heralding armageddon. From the bowels of this foul machine crawled a tattooed, neanderthal-looking, spotty oik, his greasy hair hidden by a Burberry cap, and his pasty body draped in the finest of tracksuits.

Except, that last part wasn't true. The door did open, to reveal a smart young asian lady, wearing a suit, who got out of the car, and went off carrying a briefcase. I'd say it challenge my sexist stereotypes of car-drivers, but frankly it's the exception that proves the rule. I'd still be willing to bet money that it was her brother's car she was borrowing, and she couldn't figure out how to turn the stereo off.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Wed 30 Dec 2009, 15:48, 2 replies)

If a man says something
and there are no women there to hear him, is he still wrong?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 30 Dec 2009, 15:12, 2 replies)

Am I right?

( Raindance Work is inversely proportional to post-count, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:48, 3 replies)

An example of how men and women are different.
Ann Summers parties. Getting pissed and cackling at vibrators, looking at saucy underwear that they'd never wear and having the opportunity to win a keyring shaped like a willy. Blokes can't join in. They spin some yarn about why men aren't allowed. It says if men were there, it'd count as an orgy which is illegal. Which is total bollocks. Otherwise swingers' clubs would face prosecution. And even if it was illegal, what if some of the women are lesbians?

Men could possibly have their own version, but the only thing I could think of would be a pornography party where you could order movies, magazines and probably fleshlights, but then would you want to attend such a party?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:47, 4 replies)

What ever happened to ladylike pursuits?
i have a problem with sexism in that there are two main sexes, both different in many ways. Different strengths, weaknesses, aptitudes, whatever... What is wrong with doing the things that suit the different attributes. I for one would like to belt the living hell out of the deranged feminists who decided ladies like myself should be expected to work. Thanks for nothing bitches. Luckily for me im unemployed. The global financial crisis has its upside. This is why i would never be a lesbian btw.
(sp00kstar do as thou wilt - shall be the loophole in the law, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:32, 2 replies)

Self-fulfilling prophecy
I once witnessed a friend of mine be accused, very loudly, of sexism in the middle of a hard house night at the Loft in Norwich (don't look for it, it's not there any more). A girl, so hammered you could've turned an M&M on it's side and sold it to her as a brightly-coloured E, was providing a thoroughly charming line in irresistible chat-up lines to my mate Rob (not me. GENUINELY not me. As will become apparent)

Twunted Girl: "Ooooh, you're lovely, you are"

(I know, classy)

Rob: "Thanks, darling (giggle)"

TG: "Gizza kiss then"

How he would've managed this without a mouth the size of Paris Hilton's fanny, in order to catch all the places her jaw was straying to in the space of each minute, is beyond me. But anyway.

R: "Er, no thanks!"

TG: "Why the fuck not?"

R: "Because you're a woman!"

Did I mention that Rob is phenomenally, stultifyingly, jaw-droppingly, awe-inspiringly gay. And not in a subtle way. In a spectacular way. You could tell he was gay from Stoke.

TG: "You fucking sexist! SEXISSSSTT!!!1!!11eleventy!!1!"

Obviously at this point Rob and I, being privy to his not-exactly-difficult-to-observe (from Stoke) reasons for not being interested, fell about laughing. Twunted Girl's not done though. Oh no. She promptly propositions me. And quick as a flash, Rob creates possibly the most amusing (not to mention only) moment of clarity I've ever seen dawn on the face of a drugged-up munter in a dive of a nightclub in East Anglia, by snogging my face off.

The way she turned on her heel and ran off to the toilets was priceless. Almost made up for the stubble rash.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:24, 6 replies)

Natural history
Have none of you ever watched a David Attenborough programme about chimps, gorillas or orang-outangs?

How are we so different? We are primates and we live, largely, in groups. Everyone in the group has a role and a certain level of status. There is the alpha male, the b3ta males, the teenagers, the infants. There is the dominant female, her favourites, sisters, hangers-on, kids etc. The elderly are either chased off or tolerated and treated with respect. The youngsters are tolerated until they become too much of a nuisance, at which point they are given a clip round the ear. Kids are protected (for the most part) by their fathers, brothers and uncles and adored and nurtured (for the most part) by their mothers, sisters and aunts.

Humans have modified their behaviour to some extent over the millennia but as a rule, they conform roughly to the primate rules. Not all males are alpha males, not all females are dominant females - most of us are the boring types that don't make it into the documentaries because they are tolerated by the others, give a hand with foraging, look on from the sidelines when big alpha is blowing off, play with the kids, develop a new method of digging termites out of the mound and generally sit around scratching their balls or sneaking off to a tree top for a swift one off the wrist when the females are 'in season' - or quietly tend their kids and teach them the ways of the world and try to ignore the b3ta males when their privates swell up and go pink.

Sexism is merely the inability to see that not all humans wish to behave like the majority - the loud, exuberant, show-off majority. Introverts are the 'dark matter' of the human universe; we don't go to football matches, but prefer to sit quietly on the river bank. We don't trudge around town on Friday nights, fighting each other and fucking and puking in the alleys - we sit at home quietly with a bottle of wine watching telly. We don't push to the front of the queues at the sales, but order online and we don't wear clothes that leave nothing to the imagination - because we HAVE an imagination.

Right - lecture over. Grimsdale has spoken.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:12, 9 replies)

Speaking of sheds, Mrs SLVA just doesn't get it.
Our shed is an 8ft square concrete outbuilding, and was extremely cluttered, so we cleared it of all the crap. Because we were fitting a new kitchen, I converted the shed into a utility room. Tiled the walls and floor, put in some old kitchen units, plumbed in the washer, added power and a tumble dryer, and filled the rest of the space with tools and obscure fluids for cars.

She couldn't get her head around why I went in there and spent well over three hours being extremely OCD about putting stuff away to my system and then sorting out all the nuts, bolts, screw, washers and nails into those small drawers that you hang on the wall.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:11, 13 replies)