I was bought up
to be a nice, polite and honest person, this was impressed into me by my parents and the occasional application of a cane. Obviously being polite, earnest, honest and nice would have the women lined up outside my house.

well they do.

only they are all friends, whining about when they date any man who is clearly obvious to all and sundry an utter bastard they get messed around.

"Ooh but he's got a bit of danger about him" they say when drooling over some hunk belittling someone for general pleasure

"the wanker keeps slapping my arse, telling his friends about what we get up to, calling me bird and never replies to my texts" they bleat three weeks later.

Arrrgh. I am utterly incapable of that alpha male bullshit, but why oh why do women date utter cunts and then complain about him being an utter cunt?
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:40, 22 replies)

it's in the genes
If your kid's father is a big selfish bastard with no concern for others, chances are he'll also bring home more food, win fights and be able to keep sabre-toothed tigers away with a big stick.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:46, closed)

Soooo
I should hit a few women over the head and drag them back to my cave for a bit of Surprise sex* then?


*Its not rape if they push back apparently
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:47, closed)

Yep.
A question I kept asking myself... I kept picking up the pieces that had been left by alpha males, safe in the knowledge that I'm a "nice guy". Sooner or later, said lady would be craving a bastard to come along and wreck their lives again, which is when they'd start treating me like shite.

I'm much more discerning these days.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:46, closed)

ORLY!?
;)
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:13, closed)

I am told it's not so much being a nice bloke, or an arsehole
It's just having a bit of backbone, according to a fellow b3tan of the lady persuasion, anyways/.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:48, closed)

It's not about being cunts
It's about confidence.

Women have this thing where they are attracted to confident people by the same mechanism that men are attracted to naked female flesh. Because there are no taboos associated with confidence, any women talking about a confident man will be seen in a different light than a man talking about a woman with nice tits (the former sounds like she makes an effort to get to know the man and the latter comes across as a testosterone fuelled ape). One thing about assholes is that they usually come across as confident. You don't have to be an asshole or even an alpha male, just be confident (easier said than done), fake being confident (ditto), or even better, find a woman who has realised this (either consciously or subconsciously) and has learned to pick men for what they are. They're out there - you gotta find 'em.

But I both sympathise and empathise with you. So have a * click * and a * hug * .
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:55, closed)

And on a similar note
Here's a tip if you're using an Internet dating site:

If a woman mentions "I like a man with confidence" in her profile, this just screams "Hi, I'm one of those women you'll fall in love with and when you finally do pluck up the guts to ask me out, I'll say 'let's just be friends' " at you.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:32, closed)

Just be attractive, funny, rich, and have a massive cock...

then the chicks will be properly hot for you!

And none of this 'Nice guy vs Bastard' malarky will matter a jot!


Well, that's what I heard
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:01, closed)

I thought it was
be a massive cock.

Damn, now I'm screwed*.

*Not in a physical sense, obviously.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:04, closed)

Nope
You have to be a mahoosive cunt
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:40, closed)

be a nice bloke
but just occasionally give the wimmins a little flaccid cockslap on the nose now and then to keep them on their toes and to reassure them of your discreet alpha male status.
although i'm not so sure most women would find a cockslap as amusing as i do. :D
( gypsy turnips, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:17, closed)

my two penn'orth...
I, too, spent a large propertion of my teen years wondering why I was ideal as a "friend", the first port of call when girls wanted a friendly ear, some advice or help and yet, for some reason, none of them wanted to drain my nuts for me. As a 6ft tall rugby player I certainly wasn't the weedy type, but it took a while to dawn on me that it doesn't matter what you look like.

Sadly, the idea of "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" has some truth to it - when I stopped trying to find a soulmate and instead just looked for the next random shag, things perked up. I even told a girl point-blank that I didn't want to be anything more than a friend as I didn't want a relationship of any kind, at which point she practically threw herself at me.

I'm no super-stud, I'm not a millionaire and I am just an normal, average kinda guy. I'll totally agree that it's about confidence - regardless of what a girl/woman might say, she wants her man to be a protector, confident enough to allow her to let her insecurities run riot and masculine. If you head down the metrosexual route of being caring/sharing/namby/pamby and have zero reek of testosterone about you, you can guarantee no girl (other than the odd nutjob) will want you. Girls are insecure enough about themselves and paranoid enough about what other girls think of their hair/weight/makeup/whatever to make damn sure they don't want to have to be the ones with the testicles in a relationship.

Respect them, obviously, but be a man about it - anything else starts to reek of either a)desperation, or b) insecurity and weakness. Neither are traits your prospective partner are going to be looking for.

I have to say, though, brixton, that most girls I've known (including the missus) find a cockslap just as funny as me...so, you're not alone!
(Chad, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:29, closed)

you speak the truth, there.
also, if i had a wing wong, i'd be walking around all day just randomly slapping things with it. and i'd probably twirl it a lot, too.
( gypsy turnips, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:34, closed)

I'd trade you..
for a day - you can slap and twirl to your heart's content and I'll sit and feel smug* :-)

*that may be a euphemism
(Chad, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:42, closed)

Yeah, well
If had had a pair of what you've got I'd never leave the house!
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 14:38, closed)

On the flip side
Some blokes get married and then their wives spend years telling them how to dress, how to behave, not drink too much and cut down on the partying and then in 30 years they want a divorce saying:

'You're not the man I married'

You just can't win...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:24, closed)

That would be funny....
....if it wasn't so accurate. :-o
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 2 Oct 2008, 14:56, closed)

It is about confidence
Not just confidence to go and chat a woman up but also the confidence to be single and alone.

Nothing turns women off more than the air of desperation.

We want men who think they are worth wanting.

I'm sure it's the same for men - you want women who are comfortable with who them are and aren't just looking for a husband/father/long term whatever.

One of the most fun relationships I ever had was with a guy who is now a good friend of mine. We were both entirely up front about what we wanted - friendship and no-strings sex.

A man who almost proposes to you on the first date leaves you with only one thought in your mind....RUN!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:55, closed)

Nothing turns women off more than the air of desperation. ?
shit that cost me £75 a bottle from Harrods!

I'll get Davidoff next time.

Ooooh I once convinced someone that Davidoff was a fragrance range made by the Hoff Himself!
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 14:37, closed)

"Nothing turns women off more than the air of desperation"
1000000% true FACT!

A girl needs to know that you want her because you think she's amazing, not because she's female and you just want a girlfriend (ANY girlfriend). So if you're constantly whingeing about how you can't get a girlfriend, you will continue to not be able to get one.
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 15:09, closed)

I don't think women see that they're changing their boyfriend completely.
I think they see it as fine-tuning.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 14:15, closed)

Believe in yourself
And others will believe in you.


The "Nice Guy vs Bastard" thing is bollocks. It's just "Femininity vs Confidence"

Women want a MAN. It's really that simple.
Arseholes find it easier because they don't care what people think. You have to find that balance of being secure in yourself and not seeking approval, and simply doing good things out of altruism.

In summary: You the man, playa!
(Adamish Time of death, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 14:25, closed)