R - Kelly Set himself up for this one
My mate just happens to be a massive R Kelly fan and refuses to believe the pedophile charges. Unfortunately for him he does keep playing 'Bump'n'Grin' by R Kelly in the car with me and so:

"My minds telling me no but my body, my body's telling me yeah baby i dont want
to hurt nobody but there is something that i must confess to you...

(Chorus)
I dont see nothing wrong with a little baby giiirl
I dont see nothing wrong shaggin an 8 yr old..."

Listen to the song and see, the variations are endless.
(CMEast, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 17:41, Reply)

Lolas theme (the massive house track from last year)
I sung:

"Im my girlfriends toaster"

instead of:

"I'm a different person, Yeah"

for a good 6months until someone told me. Woo.
( Obz Click, ting, stamps, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 17:40, Reply)

Mmmmmm
The best spazzed up misheard lyrics I think I have ever amused people with were 'I love Sausage Rolls' from Joan Jett.

Being 7 at the time really is no excuse.
(Loving Vixen, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 17:19, Reply)

The GF (a big dirty dancing fan) gets very annoyed...
....when I sing this along to her ultimate Dirty Dancing CD.

"Just a fool to believe that she doesn't eat baked beans
She's got bad wind..."
(Moonfrog1, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 17:18, Reply)

Nirvana: In Bloom
Sitting around the table.. trying to figure out the lyrics.

Sell the kids for food
Weather changes moods
Spring is here again
Rape the dog again...

Yep...
(blahism, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 17:09, Reply)

Do You Ken Teenage Kicks?
Whilst very drunk last New Years Eve we started singing 'Do You Ken John Peel?' as a tribute to the late JP.

Severel bottles later I suggested singing the word of 'Do You Ken John Peel' to Peel's favourite track 'Teenage Kicks' and, for one magical drunken moment, it worked:

‘D’you ken John Peel
‘With his coat so grey?’
‘D'you ken John Peel
‘When he’s far, far away?’

And, blow me, even though it was less than a month ago, that’s all I can remember.
(skitster, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:56, Reply)

Fluff
Coming home from the pub, this is what Mr SF and I used to sing to our cat Pillow, to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the cat
She is sitting where she always does upon the back door mat
She is purry and she's furry and she's smelly and she's fat
She's the best cat in the world.
Glory glory Pillowlujah, Glory glory Pillowlujah, Glory glory Pillowlujah
She's the best cat in the world.

Aaah.
( Safetyfox, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:55, Reply)

Macy Gray
Although i try to hide it, its clear
I wear goggles when you are not here


:)

Still think my version is better than the original!
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:52, Reply)

its gotta be big 2
'scabby gee'

'gee' is Dublin slang for ladies downstairs bits
(bazmandublin, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:48, Reply)

Oh dear god, just rememebred!
My sister was a bitch and sang this all the time at me when we were kids, and still does at Christmas.
(in the tune of "Rudolph the rednosed reindeer")

Susannah J-ane Gill
Had a very big fat bum
And if you ever saw it
You would even say Ho-hum!
All of the other children
Used to laugh and call her names
They never let poor suzi
Join in any childrens games
Then what sunny summers day
Sophie came to say
Suzi with you arse so bright
You could blow them all away-yay-yay-yay
Then all the children loved her
They all shouted out with glee
Susannah J-ane Gill

You'll go down in history.

By some massive coincidence, about 4 years after moving north and
my sister not mentioning it to anyone, the bullies used to call me ruldolph thanks to my acne red nose...bastards!
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:43, Reply)

last verse of original spiderman tune!
Spiderman, Spiderman Friendly neighborhood,spiderman
Wealth and fame, he ignores Action is his reward
To him, life's a great big bang up Whenever there's a ham!
You'll find the Spiderman!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ham, must of been hungry in the morning when i heard it!
(KwaziiCat, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:42, Reply)

Billy Sastard
GLC: it's 'sound of the police' - like the KRS-1 track.

You silly bastard.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:40, Reply)

I can repost it better than words can say


This has been in my head for the 15-odd years since this was released
(MattDP (Squiggle), Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:40, Reply)

still dont know..
many arguments on this one

the theme to dawsons creek - is it

'i dont want a way, for our lives to be over'
or
'i dont want to wait, for our lives to be over'

.. not that i watch it, honest..
(5lab, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:36, Reply)

Bros:
When I was a kid I used to alter the words to Bros's cheesy 80's hit 'When Will I Be Famous' to something like,

"When will I, will I be famous?"
"I can't tell you that, I'm mentally handicapped".

It was entertaining for all of 30 seconds or until me mum clipped me around the earhole.

More recently I thought the title to Limp Bizkit's piece of crud 'Rollin', was 'Holy Moley'. I thought the chorus went, 'Holy Moley, Holy Moley, Holy Moley'. A friend politely corrected me by stating that the chorus and title is 'Rollin'. I thought it was 'Holy Moly' simply brought about their disbelieving expressions in the music video that they - a bunch of talentless, fat goths and past it skate dudes could actually cruise around New York on the bonnet of a Bentley whilst still trying to look credible
(TwoLeftFlipFlops, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:33, Reply)

Clapping song
Cant rememebr the original ending but its been the same for me and my sister for as long as we can rememeber!
Down by the rever where the hanky panky
when the bullfrogs leap from bank to banky
a,e,i,u
your mother stinks and so do you!
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:33, Reply)

excuse me...
The first couple of times I heard White Zombie's "More Human than Human", I could've sworn they were screaming "Excuse me, that's a cute dress!"
(pk, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:31, Reply)

Mousse T. Is it cos i'm cool
I'm sure that 18 secconds into the song it goes
"Is it cos i'm cool, take a piss on me, suck me off on a plate in your Restaurant"

Disgusting
(Ace McAce Where we're going, we don't need roads, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:30, Reply)

Killing in the Name Of
When it first came out a mate of mine thought that the chorus of 'Killing in the Name Of' by Rage Against the Machine (which is 'Killing in the Name Of') was 'Do 'Em with a Claymore'.

Which, I'm sure you'll agree, is an amazing leap of imagination and a quite extraordinary knowledge of Caledonian weaponry for a bloke who once pronounced 'Surrey Quays' as 'Surrey Kways'.

I'll never get all those nights I wasted at provincial indie discos back. Siiiigh.
(skitster, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:28, Reply)

Pack Up Your Troubles
our pube-headed, monkey faced Baptist of a guitar strumming primary school teacher must also have been a Somme veteran, because for reasons best known to himself he taught us the Great War classics It's A Long Way To Tipperary and Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag. Naturally, "Kit" became "Shit", thus creating the funniest song in the history of existence to any 10 year old. But better was still to come.

Our class were in charge of the assembly that week, so we did a WWI theme: trench foot, bayonetting krauts, mustard gassing the year 4's etc. To finish, the whole hall sang the song he proudly announced his class had been learning all week. What happened was that we all sang it on repeat...every time it reached the beginning again another class were told to shut up and scram off to break. Our class were the eldest, and therefore the last to go. The sound of the word "Kit" slowly dying away and being replaced by "Shit" as the hall emptied is still one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.
( dotmund .co.uk, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:18, Reply)

Oh if you insist...
... here's another.

Macy Grey: Though I try to hide it, I fear / I blow bubbles when you are not here

and back in the 80s, me and my mate used to sing this inspired version of George Michael's seasonal classic:

Last Christmas, I did a big fart
The very next day, I blew you away

Which, thankfully, was as far as it went.
( Safetyfox, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:16, Reply)

Guns don't kill people, made up words do
Goldie lookin chain song, lyrics are "guns don't kill people rapper do (so do the police)". Not in my girlfriends head. driving home one day she just belts that line out at the top of her lungs with "guns don't kill people rappers do (flob-a-dob-a-dee's)" and looked very hurt when i killed myself laughing at her.

Since when did bill and ben do a cover version of that song?
(Billy Sastard, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:13, Reply)

destinys child - jumpin jumpin
instead of the line.

"you got your hair done and you nails done too, outfit and you fendi shoes"

me and my friend mistook it as "bendy shoes"
very useful type of shoe apparently.
(VD maaaaaooooooaaaaaaaaammm, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:12, Reply)

The levelers
Well my daddy he was killed in the chip shop
Fighting for anothermans pie
and my brother he was killed at the bus stop
and my mother well shes going on the game.

This means nothing to me becomes:

fish keep talking to me to me
I think I might lay off the LSD

And the old fave:

If I could choose the life I lead
Then I would be a spaceman
Take LSD and extacy and I'll be off my face man

If I could choose the life I lead
Then I would be a fireman
I set a flame a mighty spliff and I'd get even higher man

But we were only young and foolish
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:12, Reply)

JX - Son of a gun
"My nan goes on the run,
my nan goes on the run,
my nan goes on the run,
she's a dirty spundlegun...."

God I must have been a right "spesh".
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:11, Reply)

Wamdue Project
King of My Castle

Must be the reason why I'm King of my castle,
must be the reason while I'm feeling my trestle.....

A trestle being some sort of table....probably quite a spongy, horny table if we all insisted on feeling it.
*sigh*
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:08, Reply)

The Mighty Quim - Imagine lyrics
You must have read the Smith and Jones book in the eighties as well then.
When it was original.
Well done son.
( BobbyParadise, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 16:02, Reply)

Rathergood
All these misheard lyrics reminds me of the website www.rathergood.com
e.g. Paul McCartney - "I've got a chicken to ride."
(Wrecked Tums, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 15:43, Reply)

My parents
. . .told me that when the ice cream van plays a jingle it means its run out of ice cream, but I couldn't hear them because I was wanking with my headphones on
(le renard, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 15:42, Reply)

Imagine by Julian Lennon
Imagine I'm my father,
It isn't hard to do,
I look exactly like him,
And I sing just like him too.

Imagine all my records
selling by the ton.
Just for the simple reason
that I'm John Lennon's son.
(Wrecked Tums, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 15:40, Reply)