papers please
went to a mates stag weekend in Berlin. We had travelled down form yorkshire to stanstead through the night and flown out at 7am started drinkig as soon as we got to berlin by 10pm most of us were about done in, one guy had missed the flight so only arrived at 10.30 and rightly enough wanted to get plastered. As he had lived in berlin when he was a whipper snapperhe knew the best places to go so took us to some strange club in old west germany, it must have had 20 bars and we drank a different shot in each one. Somehow I lost the two remaining stags whilst chatting to some russian girl. went to get some cash out for a taxi home but Barclays bank in all its wisdom decided that it was strange for me to want money in berlin at 3am so wouldn't let me get any.. I then remembered that we had used the U-bahn (tube) to get to our hotel so proceeded underground.. they stopped running about 2am apparently.. I was woken up by an Alsatian licking my face and a German Law man about to arrest me for vagrancy.. Turns out I had 100 euro in my back pocket all the time inside my passport, thankfully he didn't see it as a bribe and let me have it back..
(b3tan senseless is slowly getting older, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 8:51, Reply)

Weirdest night...
As a sprightly teenager I went to a house party in the middle of nowhere with 3 friends. We shall call them friend A, B and C. We got picked up in Friend C’s crappy 80's Ford Fiesta and trundled our merry way to said party stacked with 4x cans super Tennants each, tents, 'herbal' cigarettes, and a couple of guitars. Whilst hurtling down the road at a 50 miles and hour a deer decided it was going to end it’s life and choose the crappy Fiesta as its destiny. The car was a write off. The bonnet was completely caved in. The damage was so bad that the left light was pointing somewhere over to the right and the right was pointing somewhere over to the left, there was little illumination to front of us. But did it stop us? Hell no. We carried on since the deer bounced off into a field. We carried on for quite a while before the car finally gave up and overheated. So we decided to have a bit of ‘inspiration’, abandon the car and walked off with tents and guitars with a vague idea of where the party was. Friend A had picked up the obligatory flashing roadworks light and fashioned a strap to attach it to his head. We had at this point started to drink the filth of the super tenants. We started a merry sing along whilst walking through woods, hoping it might take us to somewhere we would know. By sheer fluke it ended up taking us directly in to the back garden where said party was in full swing! People had heard the us singing and saw the flashing light on Friend A’s head amongst the trees. Best entrance to a party ever... The father who owned the house is quite a bigwig in the music Industry and likes a party so was amongst the 50 odd spotty teenagers drinking and recanting stories of exploits etc. Legend! We polished off the remaining cans of pure filth and set up camp in the back garden. I ended up staggering around off my face whilst a Friend B was in a tent losing his virginity to Friend A’s ex girlfriend. Friend A kept on ‘accidentally’ falling over the tent they were in… I at this point was in another part of the garden expelling the super Tennants back up. I then passed out in this part of the garden for a few hours then wondered inside to see if there was anywhere to crash for the night. The floor was littered with drunken bodies all snuggled up in sleeping bags including mine. Bastard… But I found my soft guitar case and drunkenly reasoned that it was like a sleeping bag and put me head down on the only available floor space I could find, which was the bottom step of the stairs, with one leg in a guitar case.

What an awesome night…

*obligatory penis reference*
( Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Tue 2 Jan 2007, 8:25, Reply)

I am all class...
Went to Rock City when I was 15 and after sharing a 3ltr bottle of scrumpy, getting in and puking 3 times, I fell asleep with my head resting on a speaker. Couldn't decide if the resultant head mash the next morning was due to the loudness, the scrumpy or the moshing.
And this new year's I somehow managed to pull in the 30 seconds it took to get a taxi outside the pub...and I slept in a graveyard. After shagging of course.
I nearly had to slap my flatmate who said to me the next morning 'how you feeling mate...grave?'
Ach, it was new year....
(spida, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 8:12, Reply)

cricket club
About 15 getting pished and trying to pull an all nighter. Woke up on the lawnmower attatchement for a tracktor. Didnt do my hayfever much good.

Ive also fell asleep on gritbins and stuff on the way home.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 4:41, Reply)

...
My Car.

Driver's Seat.

on the Highway.

Travelling 70km/h.

about 11am.


i'd done 48 hours straight while writing my thesis, and on the way home that 6km stretch of dead straight highway seemed quite peaceful.

i only awoke when the highway did a slight turn at the end, so my wheels rubbed against the kerb.

i shudder to think how i made it through the set of traffic lights halfway through though.
(mikewicked, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 3:20, Reply)

.
The other day, I managed to sleep through a small earthquake (3.5 on the Richter scale). An earthquake!
(Lilac Fish, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 2:31, Reply)

I once fell asleep at the kitchen table, after going out on the lash, woke up having dreamt about some very strange things indeed.
I woke up shouting about these strange happenings on the news in my dream, only to buy a paper and find out every single one was true!

I was then told I'd gone to sleep with the radio on...
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 0:12, Reply)

Snoozing
I vaguely remember being unbelievably drunk a while ago - not just "slurring and staggering" drunk, but 100% fall-down, "take your clothes off and start crying for your mother" kind of drunk. Wandering through the city looking for a taxi, I decided to walk into the median strip in the middle of the road so that the cabs could see me a bit better. I know, you always think that kind of thing when you're soused. The night was quiet and I had drunk so much that my legs were hurting, so I decided to sit down for a bit.

Bad move. I flaked out immediately - it was almost like the alcohol had found the "On/Off" switch inside my head and decided to play with it because there was nothing else for it to do.

I was shaken awake two hours later by a cop, who very graciously decided not to run me in for public drunkenness but got on the radio and called a cab.
(thanateros Does Not Play Well With Others, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 0:09, Reply)

Sat on a crate.
Leaning against the back wall of the stage in the Faversham in Leeds last night.
There weren't any bands on at the time, just people dancing, but the music was fucking loud.
(and now for someone completely different, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 23:24, Reply)

From brighton to the outer stars
i was about to go back to bournemouth from brighton easy 2.5hour trip.. easy.

freight train broke down at chicester, so i had to ger a train to clapham then basingstoke then home in bournemouth...

i slep from brigthon to clapham.. sleep walked to platform 6 go on the train slept on a table woke up at basingstoke slept 20 minutes untill my train came got on the train and slept the rest of the way home...then woke up caught a bus.. slept on the bus to the stop i was going to.. woke up got off the bus and got home and went to bed for 15 hours..

true story!
(Richard Pryor setting himself on fire while freebasing crack cocaine in the 80's I ONLY USE PAINT!!?!?!?!!, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 23:12, Reply)

Oh aye....
I also fell asleep in the back of my mates car.

So? I hear you skip to next question ask.

Well he's verging on being a boy racer and his sub-woofer thingmybob right behind my seat was on full blast as we hurtled through the Scottish highlands.

I even impressed myself with that one.
(puggs, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 23:02, Reply)

In a place colder then a peados heart
I dont do the trend on going on holiday to hot/exotic locations. I tend to go for an adventure or go to places off the beaten track



One of my adventures took me on the Trans Manchunian train route to Beijing. But where as most travelers go direct to China, i thought i would have a little adventure and book a stop off at Lake Bikal. We arived early afternoon and met my host family for the night. The family unit consisted of mum, dad, 2 sons and 8 year old daughter. The plan was to spend the afternoon hunting and fishing then have a traditional Siberian dinner. Its great fun, you have to do it sometime!

Went fishing onto the boat. Dad, me and 2 sons were happily fishing and speaking in broken languages. On the boat we got absolutley abliterated on the old Vodka! Before i know it i was well gone. Woke up in a haze a few hours later in teh boat wrapped up in about 20 blankets floating away on one of the worlds biggest lakes. Mist had decended and i couldnt see land. I paniked and paniked more! I was rescued by he family about 2 hours after i woke up. Aparently i had had dinner at theirs and siad i wanted to sleep on the boat because of my rocking motion, then came untied and floated around. But that was fricking scary!


Also on teh same trip i went to go to a little settlement about 200 miles from Thailand, and actually ended up in Thailand! That counts too i think.

Click 'i like this' if you think Saddam was a naughty man
(DebbieDoesDerby, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 21:47, Reply)

On guard duty at 3AM
standing up at the main gate of Bovington camp.
I also slept in a train carriage from Bournemouth to Manchester, waking up in London St Pancras the following morning. I have no idea how I managed that.
/edit: I have also slept sitting bolt upright in a chair at Bielefeld train station, and in the passenger seat of a ( stationary ) Transit minibus waiting for the bastard garage at Newbury to open so we could carry on with the tour.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 21:41, Reply)

bass bin
In a nasty Halifax club, resting my head IN the bass bin at the bottom of the PA stack. I had some weird fucking dreams.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 21:09, Reply)

edinbourough
in the space of one night i managed to fall asleep in a recording studio and a graveyard, having woken up in the recording studio for some reason possibly involving beer, i decided i no longer wanted to be there and left, only to realise that i couldnt get hold of the friend whose flat i was supposed to be staying at, so instead of sleeping indoors on her stairwell as would have been sensible i decided to have a kip in the graveyard over the road. far too many mosqitos! but at least it was summer :)
sleep in a church frequently too, but i do live there so it doesnt qualify as strange i suppose
(skankgirl, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 21:02, Reply)

fog
was at a party and they bought a fog machine so we shut all the doors
and windows and filled the room with fake fog. this carried on all night
and i fell asleep under the table and i woke up and thought the house
was on fire.
(i eat crayons, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 21:02, Reply)

On the roof of a caravan.
I fell asleep on the roof of a 'caravan'. (what the yanks call an "arr vee")
I had not been drinking. I just needed a place to lie down and avoid my cunts of friends for a while.

I was out two hours before being driven all of five metres and falling off.

Bloody hurt too.
(Good Looking Deity Grew a magnificent beard on, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 20:16, Reply)

another one
About 10 years ago now i returned to London after a festival and thus embarked on the final trek home,got about 6 miles away and realised i was bereft of funds so decided to walk-halfway through a lack of sleep ( none in 30 hours ) took its toll and i decied to wait for the first bus of the day.
This was fine but by now i was hallucinating with fatiguw and promptly fell asleep in someones front yard by said bus stop.
(shug, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 20:14, Reply)

A cycle path at about 2am, while very drunk
A friend walked past me on his way home, and woke me up to find out why I was there. I told him to fuck off, I was trying to sleep.

Woke up the next morning in bed, without a mobile phone. No idea how long I was there.
(goat thinks you're shit, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 19:19, Reply)

picadilly
seems to be a recurring theme doesn't it. also slept in a phone box at picadilly bus station in manchester, cos i couldn't remember how to get out.
alcohol is marvellous
i scared the hookers by following them earlier in the evening and asking them if they would be my friend.
(kaptinkurtz, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 18:49, Reply)

anywhere
Ive slept under a bus at the last station on the Picadilly line north. Fell asleep on the tube, pissed, and woke up in middle of nowheresville. There was a bus due to leave in 4 hours, and for some reason, the depot left the engine running. This being the middle of november, underneath it was the warmest place I could find. Also woke up in Picadilly circus one Monday morning, having been out for a couple of scoops the Friday night, to a phone call from my agent asking if I could do a job in Poland Street. 5 minutes away. Of bloody course I could! Must have looked (and smelt) a sight mind.
The coup de Grace has to be falling asleep at a party, in the middle of the floor, whilst said party continued around me.
I remember the event mostly for having to rummage through the ashtrays in the morning to conjure up enough baccy to roll a fag with before daring to venture outside.
(kaptinkurtz, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 18:47, Reply)

In a job interview.

I didn't get the post.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 18:23, Reply)

Mr weebear...
...fell asleep face down in my mimsy at Glastonbury, whilst administering oral pleasure.

It was really comfortable, so I'm told.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 18:22, Reply)

Ermm
i tend to fall asleep in pretty normal places sorry...but i did get on the 140 once at heathrow with the intention of getting off in hayes..fell asleep woke up back at heathrow..was a nice sleep though best ive had in a looooooong time...i highly recommend it...

Happy new year people!!

Peace

I should proberly note that i fell asleep whilst writing this due to gettin completly wankered last night at a house party and only jus arrivin back home from said party..and i have some keyboardy pattern imprinted in my face now
(Fluent In Bentish Living in Scatman's World, tis being fun!, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 18:04, Reply)

In a helicopter
Multiple times actually, something about em.
CH-47 Chopper full of arctic infantry on the way to a night live fire and I'm dead asleep with my machine gun cradled in my arms. Didn't wake up until some one yelled "TWO MINUTES"

One time behind the wheel of a hummer I fell asleep and I was the XO and CO's driver that night. Damn near killed us.
(armednuclearterrorist, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 17:46, Reply)

I woke up on a trampoline once
to the bouncing of THREE girls! With excellent breasts may I add.
(Fizz Bitch, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 16:53, Reply)

Not exactly the strangest place I've slept
Certainly was pretty strange though. One time I woke up in the back of a moving car wondering how the hell I'd got there, considering I could remember crawling into bed before I'd went to sleep. Turned out it was one of the most realistic dreams I've ever had. I can remember sort of falling back to sleep in the dream though, it was actually kinda scary.

Still, not as scary as the time I woke up with my best mate's arm around me. Sadly that wasn't a dream. There were four of us sleeping on the floor and supposedly he thought I was a girl he was sleeping next to. Well he was, before I crawled into the space in between them after moving off a cramped sofa in the night.

I've also made a vow never to sleep in an armchair ever again. I was cold so I curled my legs up onto the chair. Wasn't a good idea; felt like one of them was on fire when I uncurled them after 2 hours of uncomfortable sleep.

Tiled kitchen floors are never good either, no matter how comfy your sleeping bag is. Sheds are always great though, as long as they have a power supply, carpet, pillows and a heater of some kind.
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 16:41, Reply)

I have a few, but I'll stick with this one
Last Januray I decided to get overly merry at a mates house party because I am the bingedrinking youth of today. Anyway, everyone was starting to go to sleep in the front room, but I had already passed out at the bottom of his stairs, with my arm in a coal bucket. When I came around about 20 minutes later, I felt for the lightstwich, which I promptly turned on. To my horror, I had covered the white walls in coal dust.
Quickly, I ran from the house as I was in no state to clean it up. Next thing I remember was waking up on a roundabout in just shorts and a frozen jumper. Turns out I'd decided the roundabout would be a great place to sleep, but had neglected to check the weather forecast for that night. -5 that night, which resulted in lack of leg movement, and a call to Mother asking her to take me to hospital.

Good days.....good days.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 1 Jan 2007, 15:10, Reply)

In a flower bed. I have no recollection of this event.
The first I knew of it was when someone came up to me in town a few weeks later and went "OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!"
( Malchick, Mon 1 Jan 2007, 14:45, Reply)