Yes I can!
Drink bottled beer by lodging the bottle in my cleavage and bending over backwards with my mouth on the end.

However, I've got no capacity for drinking any more, and I get shrieking hangovers, so I've been unable to continue for a long time.

Once, whilst incandescent with anger at my then husband, I tore the phone book in half. The process involved loads of swearing, bumping into furniture and shouting, and a lie down with a headache after, but it was worth it. Especially because the only witness kept the wrecked tome after, and showed it to his buddies.

Ear wiggling. Been doing that since I was 8! I love it, people spot something moving, but they're never quite sure what...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 21:28, Reply)

I can sew my lips shut.
Since I've got seven piercings on my lip alone, I can run thread through the little holes and sew my entire mouth shut ;)
(gingerdeadgirl, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 21:10, 1 reply)

My friend's weird voice
Because I can only think of my weird bendy-thumb, I'm gonna talk about my friend Chris.

Typical scene kid, but less rainbow colours and annoying-ness.

Until he starts mimicking seagulls and ambulances. I'm serious, he can mimic them PERFECTLY. Whenever we're out to get more tequila/vodka/whatever isn't beer he confuses cars by doing the ambulance noise when we're behind them and they're stopped at lights. The poor sods actually pull over to the side thinking an ambulance is coming!

The seagull noise is worse, though. It actually has the weird "caw" to it that the gits make before they steal whatever you're trying to eat. Which he appropriately does after distracting you (i.e. making you shit your pants) with it.

Oh, and he can also mimic the noise a knife makes when scraped across a china plate.
( Trogdos The Raging Cuntmuffin, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Ear wiggling fun..
When I was little, I remember reading somewhere that you can't wiggle your ears without toughing them. So I set out to prove it wrong, don't ask why it was obviously just a childish whim.

I can still do it to this day :D Admittedly it's a miniscule wiggle but it's a wiggle none the less.
I can also burp on demand, and both my thumbs are double jointed.

--edit: typos
(Asharin Stabby stab stab, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:55, 2 replies)

Like vomiting but not
I was born with and continue to be affected with Rumination Syndrome. I am also despite the protestations of the article neither an infant or suffering from cognitive disabilities. It causes me no discomfort or stress and other than annoying my mother enormously has not been an issue in my 29 years so far.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:53, 2 replies)

I can...
exaggerate better than anyone alive or dead or who could in theory live.
(Charlietron Still can't think of anything witty to put here, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:43, 2 replies)

i can hide
a full toilet roll in my cleavage
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:42, 11 replies)

Ears
I can wiggle my ears. It is my only talent. Can't sing. Can't play a musical instrument. Certainly can't dance.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:32, Reply)

The Unusual Talent/Handicap dichotomy
Unusual Talent 1: Speed reading- I can digest a novel in an afternoon

Corresponding handicap: Cannot spell or use grammar making me write like a spazz.

Unusual Talent 2: Can learn the words to a song by listening to it once

Corresponding handicap: I cannot sing, dance and have the same talent with musical instruments as the average whelk.

UT 3: Very good long term memory. "The old carpet we got to cover the old floorboards is in the loft, you put it up there three years ago on a saturady.."

CH: Very poor short term memory "Now why did I come into this room?"

UT 4: Can happily sit through BBC4 documentaries

CH: Alienation of missus

UT 5: making people laugh

CH: Inability to judge how well sickipedia worthy jokes will go down in polite company.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:29, Reply)

I just happen to be
extremely good at sex. I can make a woman orgasm almost instantly, and I can do it over and over and over again. It's a gift.

The only problem is, I never get to prove this. :(
(Turtlenuts, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 20:27, 4 replies)

Well
I can be a right awkward bastard. Over my lifetime I've really had to dig my heels in, eg;

Bedtime - No, I want to watch the end of The Proffesionals, please mum. Then hide at the edge of the sofa until it did. Age about 9.

Put a coat on - No, ill be fine. Age about 12, with a cold a week later.

Another Snakebite? Yes wench, gimme that and your number. Age 16, with a sick stain on the bedroom floor in the morning.

Don't hit that! Fuck off, smack. Ouch, blood dripping from my right knuckle. I chose to hit a street sign light, cracked the glass. Still works and still there some 20 years later. Age 18, with an inch scar.

Don't shag that - why not?! Der!?

Or that - why not?! Der!?

Repeat.

Ooops - need to book a place need Romford where those lady ops are undertaken.

Don't, er, oh you will anyway. No, I won't!

Don't marry (that) - tough, gunna and need cash.

You're going to be a dad, so stop drinking and smoking. Yes yes yes that's wonderful (no no no, what have I done) - carrys on.

Repeat.

"I'm leaving you, and leaving the children". No you're not!

"I'm coming back". Ditto!

"I'm leaving you". I fucking give up!

"One more chance". Cough.

"I'm leaving you". Ill help you pack (again).

Divorce - fuck off Chambers (RSwipe not included)

Trial - 1/12/10

I don't mean to piss all these people off, or you if you have had to read all this but I seem to have a talent.

Don't click this cos if you do then you're a wanker too. Nuff yet???
(Suck it and Sea, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 19:46, Reply)

Tanks and stuff
I have an ability to tutt and huff through most films/TV News programmes/documentaries pointing out the errors they've made. (Calling assault gun's tanks, showing Ju87Gs in Battle of Britain footage etc) Through my Amazing Mind Bullets, the producers of said erroneous programmes are informed and can correct it. Mrs Kite finds this endlessly endearing.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 19:31, 1 reply)

Oh
I can use my skull as a percussive instrument by tapping on my head whilst opening and closing my mouth.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 19:27, 2 replies)

I can
Stand on one leg for a long, long time. Without sticking my arms out for balance. I'm not sure how long, because when I tried to time it I got bored after the first hour. This is a totally useless talent, unless I ever get a job as a flamingo.

I can also breastfeed and hoover at the same time, which is really quite handy.

And I know a lady *cough* who can hide a can of Super Lager in her quim.
(Timorous Beastie, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 19:18, 7 replies)

I can open a portal to Middle-Earth
It was the weirdest thing though: last time I was there the anthropomorphic trees were about six or seven feet higher than they normally are.

Bizarre eh?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 18:52, 1 reply)

Small Change Pearost
I can fit £2.80 in change up my nostril:

£2 coin
50p coin
20p coin
10p coin.

There's photo evidence somewhere, I'll find it and post the link when I find it.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 18:43, 5 replies)

I can make people think I am worth employing,
despite not actually being very good at anything other than trying hard.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 18:42, Reply)

A score over 200
on Bop It Extreme.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 18:41, Reply)

I have
walked on broken glass and swallowed fire...both intentionally. I would be willing to repeat both but my lord and master won't let me (something about being too dangerous and she'd worry about it).
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 18:39, Reply)

I
can type at about 130 wpm on a qwerty keyboard and about 80 on Dvorak (although that's steadily improving).

Not much of a talent these days, but it was sure impressive when I was 11.
(dchurch bah, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 18:19, 8 replies)

I have a herniated testicle
that's not a talent, but managing the pain is.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:59, 1 reply)

I
have a tongue like an anteater and can breathe through my ears.

Ladies, form an orderly queue.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:50, Reply)

I have two kids
That takes talent with a penis as little as mine.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:47, Reply)

I can occasionally see some humour in a post by A Vagabond
But not often, and not much.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:46, 7 replies)

I have a few talents, all of them mostly useless unless in a very specific situation.
I can circular breathe - useful for playing a wind instrument or blowing nonstop bubbles in a glass of milk.
I can blow air out through my tear ducts - but I can't breathe in through them.
I have very flexible hands - useful for the afore-mentioned wind instruments, less so for typing.
I can roll my tongue and whistle through it. When roll-tongue-whistling is called upon to save the world, I'll be there in a dash. Until then, it's only good for my own amusement, and sporadically at that.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:46, 8 replies)

Mental floss
Sword swallowing and I can walk up and down stairs on my hands
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:46, Reply)

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:42, 2 replies)

Unfortunately proven
I can give someone a black eye using only my hair. It's not really a talent though, just unusually long hair and a propensity to spin around rapidly if someone asks me a question.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:38, 8 replies)

I can stick my tounge out and touch my nose
...directly, i.e. not using fingers etc. Does unfortunately result in minor incidence of Wet Face Syndrome.

No, that really is it, no funnies here I'm afraid.

*Wonders how many readers are now attempting this again for the first time since childhood.*
(An Inflatable Bearded Whumpus, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:35, 2 replies)

Oh yes
I can also throw playing cards hard enough to leave a mark on bare skin.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:35, Reply)