Only in Hull...
Back when I was learning to drive, my Dad delegated the task of driving to a family wedding in Hull to me. This was ostensibly for me to gain valuable experience, but in reality was because he wanted to get mashed and not have to worry about his nice new car getting nicked/damaged.

All went well. I ferried people to and from the service without incident and even found a parking space just round the corner from the reception. So I was feeling pretty pleased with myself when I went out in the wee small hours to get my vehicle. At least, I was until I saw what was happening to it.

Perched on the bonnet, mottled thighs spread, was a pram-faced young lady with a stylish "croydon facelift" hairstyle. Between said thighs thrust the hips of a trackie-sporting, jaunty-angled-hatted youth nonchalantly smoking a roll-up. He turned his head towards me, spat derisively, and resumed his porking.

I was transfixed by the horror of the scene, and would surely have remained there for all eternity (well, probably not, it was Hull and I don't have a death wish) had my Dad not been lumbering drunkenly behind me. Being more hardened to the debauchery of that scummy city, he simply drew himself to full height and yelled at the couple to get off my car.

The amorous young scamp, faced with an enormous, furiously enebriated military man, did exactly what one would expect. Handlessly shifting his cigarette across his mouth, he hefted his paramour by the buttocks, shifted her onto the edge of a bin (class) and continued sowing his wild oats. As you would.

We got in the car, dragging my wildly-gawping younger brother, and drove off in silence.

But that, my friends, is not the true horror of my tale. The truly shocking aspect of the torrid tableau was, in fact, my car itself...

A B-reg Vauxhall Nova.
(Vorlon, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 21:58, 5 replies)

Midnite frolics
Last nite I was up late online talking to the missus. Suddenly I heard a strange noise from upstairs. I guessed at what it was and stood on the bed to check (closer to ceiling). Sure enough there was the rythmic pounding away of the sex starved alcoholic bitch upstairs getting a right good seeing to! What's more she's a fucking screamer as well. Worst was to come. 7.50 am dozy cow gets up and proceeds to crank shitty music up to full blast (lyrics to the effect of 'what a beautiful morning/what a great day'). Proceeded to yell 'Shut the fuck up' rather loudly, seemed to have the desired effect eventually. Have decided that if she repeats the same thing tonight that I'll put my guitar amp on top of the wardrobe, full volume, and see how she enjoys having her head explode to a bit of 'Highway to Hell' at 3am. If this sounds harsh then consider this: in one year she has drunkenly fallen asleep and made the bog overflow and leak through the ceiling into my bathroom, set her house on fire only for me to come back after the weekend to find that the water to put it out leaked into my bedroom and all over my bed, regularly plays loud music early in the morning of the shitty club variety, and threatened to call the cops when the missus was round and we were watching a DVD at night. Oh and her fucking dog howls all bloody morning when she gets her alcoholic diseased ass out to whatever shit hole hell she works in. Fucking bitch!
(Polish bstard, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 21:42, 2 replies)

Not strictly sex related...
but it seemed intimate and private.

In a car travelling through the city centre one morning when the car stops at a set of lights (as cars often do)at a junction.I espied, on a nearby pavement, a man trying to cross the road, the road intersecting the one I was on, a road on which the little green man had not yet beckoned our pedestrian to the paralell paving.

The man runs out into the road, a skinny young thing (the man,that is, not the road) dressed in what were evidently his work clothes-nice suit, briefcase etc.He runs out in a desperate attempt to reach the otherside and gets half way before he decides to run back.

Indulging in a little bit of schaudenfreude [sic]I let out a chuckle and continue to watch, in the hope that I will witness another of this poor souls woeful road-crossings.

A second later and my wish is fulfilled, except this time our hero takes two steps into the road before a honking horn indicates that it isn't such a great idea.

A giggle escapes my lips as this man, now a little infuriated stands on the pavement, waiting for a more oppurtune moment. He pulls out a cigarette and goes to light it BUT WAIT!!! A perfect chance to cross the road presents itself, and the poor fool has wasted valuable seconds lighting a cigarette. He rushes out but barely reaches the end of the pavement before sense conquers the passion of the moment- he's too late, there are cars on the way.

Now audibly cursing ("arsecock" were his exact words), he takes a long pull on is cigarette while I, in the safety of a vehicle begin to laugh heartily at this "cream-faced loon" (to quote Macbeth)

Two more failed attempts and I realy am laughing at this pitiable sight, his angry curses getting louder and less inventive ("CUNT")

Until, finally, just as the lights will surely change and I will have to move away from this entertainment, there is the perfect openng. All traffic is gone, as a final Ford Focus zooms off into the distance. He can't possibly fail to cross.

I don't know whether it was because of the excitement or because the guy was Joseph Stalin in a past life but what happened next was a truly incredible sight to behold.
The fucker only went and dropped his briefcase.
The briefcase only went and burst open.
Paper only blew out fucking everywhere.

I let out an unholy bark of hysterical laughter as our protaginist bellows his entire vocabulary of naughty rudey swear words into the heavens, kicks the briefcase as hard as he can and then falls to his knees, sobbing without tears, while paper gently dances around him in the wind.

Now if that isn't witnessing something intimate and private I don't know what is.
(Tip-Top Tomcat but you can call me Tommo, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 20:36, 2 replies)

When I were a nipper
I lived on a fairly rough council estate for a spell. Not too bad but I soon fell in with what can best be described as the wrong crowd. Quick mention, the houses/flats on this estate are "upside down" that is to say, the bedrooms are on the bottom floor and the living room etc upstairs. One night I got a knock at my window and invited out for larks and mischief. One of the boys, we'll call him George, mentioned that as we'd been hanging together for a bit he'd supervise my initiation ceremony. I was a bit worried as to what this involved, something like jizz biscuit or streaking I thought. Not so. We walked to a neighbours house where we met about three others, all clustered around a window, peering stealthily in. "he's at it again then?" enquired George. "oh yeah, every night now the dirty bastard." I crept up to the window where the fellah's bedroom curtains were closed but with enough of a gap at the end to see properly in. What I saw blew my tiny, underdeveloped mind.

Fred, the brother of one of the kids we went around with was naked as the day he was born, wanking his engorged cock with one hand and holding tightly to the collar of the family dog, a Saint Bernard if I remember rightly, with the other. After a few seconds of fumbling, much to my horror, but probably not the dog's (if he did this as often as they claimed) he proceeded to squeeze his greasy sausage in the poor thing's pooptube. I don't know how long I watched this nightmare but it felt like an eternity. My mouth was dry I felt sick (as a dog) and I think I was struck blind for a bit. Needless to say it put me off beastiality right sharpish.

He came, I went. "there you go mate, now you're one of the gang" said George. In all honestly I'd rather have masturbated over a ritz cracker while surrounded by half a dozen equally eager cock jugglers... but them's the breaks.
(Suddenly, zebras Safe and sound for eternity, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 18:19, 1 reply)

I recently felt like I saw an entire theatre full of people being raped when I went to see "Hairspray". Of course, I was too concerned about my own sore arse to care.
(Tip-Top Tomcat but you can call me Tommo, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 18:09, Reply)

2 girls 1 cup
...ive just seen it.

dont know if it counts as voyerism but still...watching a lady laying a cable (well, looks more like expanding foam to me)is not exactly a good thing.

click "i like this" if your one of the girls in the video or you think it should be taken off the web/shown to little children
(Foulkesy123 The one and only..., Tue 16 Oct 2007, 17:38, 2 replies)

Girlfriend wasn't best pleased
A few years ago now a large group of us were round a friends place enjoying a few drinks and a bit of food before heading off into town. It was looking like it might be quiet a good night, everyone was in high spirits and there was plenty of banter being dished out.

The crowd was split up into two groups, one inside in the kitchen enjoying the food and drink and the other outside drinking and smoking. The group outside was slowly getting louder and louder and until one of the group popped there head inside and said that we better come out and have a look.

When we got outside we discovered most of the group were already climbing onto roof of the house. It transpired that one of my friends was inside with his girlfriend in the downstairs bathroom, and things were getting a bit frisky. Fortunately for us the bathroom had two skylights that were particular easy to reach. Most of the group climbed onto the roof and proceed to watch our friend roger his girlfriend silly.

We were all enjoying the show until my friend obviously pulled out a little too far and his cock slipped up her dirt chute. The girlfriend jumped up screaming and then, unfortunately, my friend looked up to see us lot all waving back at him.

What proceeded next was lots of shouting and screaming from my mate and his girlfriend. During this time we all climbed off the roof and back inside. Unfortunately for the girlfriend the only way out of the house was through the kitchen and passed us. To be fair you had to give it to her though she walked out of the house with her head held high even with us lot all trying to hold back laughter.
(hooj was born on the, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 17:38, Reply)

Following on from the last party
Same people same place. So what then, I hear you ask, should one take along to enliven a houseparty full of loose-moralled students with a penchant for intoxicated pornography? I decided on acid.
The shame of the previous party having worn off somewhat, I turn up to the next one and go directly to Y's room where X, Y and myself hit the blotters thinking that everyone else would be none the wiser. Would they fuck.

After a while, X begins to act strangely then drags her weed dealer off into her room to have her way with him. When finished, he leaves and she spends the rest of the evening tripping in a corner talking to some other guy who's clearly interested but insisting that she doesn't like him in that way because she's gay. Quite mild in terms of conduct for these parties; not good marks for exhibitionism for X. Y on the other hand.....


Y had invited about 4 of her old schoolfreinds and typically at about 2 sneaked off to her room with one of them. The whole party were treated to the usual vocal performance (the door was open and her room was next to the landing). On hearing what's happening, her 3 other freinds go upstairs one by one and do not return. The noises continue. Next to disappear into the room is a course mate of Y's with a video camrea. The door still open, they put on some *very* bad death metal and decided to make a porno. This is swiftly done and instantaneously set loose onto the net. The whole house (even those really trying not to) having heard the entire event and most people having witnessed it.

Next day, Y and I had vodka for breakfast (and kept on it all day untill I went to play bridge in the evening) and talked in a shell-shocked way about the previous days carnage. I'll never forget her describing the experience of morphing fractal-patterned cocks coming towards her out of the darkness.

It all confirms that sex and acid don't mix. When other people describe putting on a show of morning tent sex for their neighbours at a festival, it wasn't followed by a drug-induced unconcern for clothing. In retrospect, I shouldn't have left the tent afterwards in full view of all the people from the tents around us who'd been treated to the performance and wander to the portaloos and back while still naked from the waist down. But I didn't realise at the time it could possibly be viewed in an unfavourable light. Although seeing as I was at the Glade, the funny looks were probably for being clothed from the wiast up.
(Lotus Eater exposed herself on, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 17:15, Reply)

Proper Rear Window...
No, not a cunning name for witnessing a bumming, an actual event my friend witnessed in Liverpool only the weekend just gone.

He has a mate that has a flat in a very tall, all seeing block of flats, you can see alot of the city from this place. So as you would, he sets up a telescope to observe whatever he may see.

He spots a copper car and van surrounding an average looking car with 3 lads in, one copper constantly running for police car to police van and back to the "suspect" car while on the radio, and they would not let these guys go.

Roughly 30 mins pass and one copper "asks" the driver to step out the car, at which point he swings for the lad.

Now, not being a nob and standing there to take this police brutality, he ducks and said copper falls onto his face, making a complete prick of himself.

When the 3 lads started laughing despite trying not to, one copper slaps the cuffs on the driver, the other one gets up and he is "placed" into the back of the van...

My mate stopped watching here and is still wondering if he should call it in as a witness. After seeing this through the telescope and getting plate and badge numbers, he has enough to properly set these bastards, sorry, policemen, on the path of a repremand for brutality, but he is scared by the thought of being set up if he does report it.

Wonderful world eh ?

Length ? You love it you dirty whores.
(Kage, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 17:05, 1 reply)

Workbased toilet wank
I was at work, sitting on the bog, enjoying a relaxing crap. I heard someone walk into the cubicle next to me. Now the cubicles are not strongly constructed so I could hear everything: belt unbuckling, zip undoing, that's it. Then very faintly a rhythmic rubbing of fabric. Someone's having a wank at work!

After a minute or two the rhythm speeds up, the sound gets louder, and there's a little raspy breathing. Then I hear something 'plop' into the toilet water. Zip, belt, flush, door opens.

I quickly finish up myself and leave the cubicle and there washing his hands is the IT Director. He says hi and walks out - I wash and follow and see him walk into a conference room where a meeting is in progress, chaired by our female, middle aged, haggard CIO.

So either the Direotor's fantasising about her, or his Powerpoint presentation got him very excited!
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:52, 6 replies)

"HULK SMASH!"
three years ago there was a party goin on full throttle in my gaff, but unfortunately i was working the next day and not drunk enough to say "screw work" so off to bed i went.

bout 6 in the morning my flatmate davie kicks my bedroom door in and proceeds to use my bed with me in it as a trampoline. he then falls off the bed and grabs my curtains as a grip but only succeeds in ripping them off the wall much to my chagrin. after calling him a fuckin dick, throwing him out my room and wedging a sofa in front of the door i returned to slumberland.

i awoke at 8 to get ready for work feeling reall shitty and wasnt amused at the fact the whole neighbourhood could see me getting ready due to the absence of curtains. i staggerd through to living room where some peeps where still goin for it, but no sign of davie. "wheres davie?"
"in his room."
"yes! revenge time."
i went and put on a pair of those oversized hulk gloves that make smasing noises when u belt something on and kicked davies room door in. there he was shagging some bird that worked in the bar acroos the road from behind full pelt. she was totally starkers as was he. she didnt notice my intrusion but davie did "whit the fuck? get oot!"
i ran at him and cracked him real hard in the coupon
the sound of breaking glass accompanied by the words "HULK SMASH!" alerted the girl of my presence and she promptly flew outta his bed screaming while davie fell backwards into his cupboard.

needless to say. davie never pumped her again.
(Raol Duke, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:37, 4 replies)

A Bummer Of A Wedding
This is sort of to do with voyeurism, well if you can be a passive voyeur!

I went to my ex-boyfriend's Mum's wedding up on the outskirts of Glasgow. It was a fairly cheap affair - in fact they supplied us with an incredibly budget version of White Lightening cider to drink, which they had kept in the fridge over night to make it an alcoholic slush. Classy.

Anyway I'd been asked to film things, which I happily agreed to do. A few days later, we all sat down to watch my Danny Boyle-esque masterpiece, which went down really well. In fact my boyfriend's 80-year-old grandmother found it all very amusing...until the end of the film that is.

It suddenly cut to hardcore scenes of incredibly graphic gay sex.

It turns out that my flatmate had used the camera to film him and his boyfriend shagging, then the re-wound the tape and then forgot to tell me. It must have been on for a good 10 seconds before I managed to stop it.

"Erm, it's not us" I spluttered, incredibly red-faced and shocked that I had exposed a lovely old lady to this kind of wanton action.

"Then who is it," asked a clearly shaken granny, obviously even more shocked that we had been filming someone else. I’ve never had a Christmas card since.
(lostbear, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:21, 1 reply)

Spilling the beans...
A long long time ago I was a sex starved student* sharing a flat (well shoebox built onto the top of a normal house) with five other sex starved students (unfortunately all male). I had just moved into a room at the rear of the house (it was agreed that we periodically rotate rooms to minimise the hell of shared rooms and the single roopms being different sizes) and I was trying to overcome extreme lack of interest, clashing loud rock and techno beats, the TV (also on full), arguments and mild cannabis intoxication and concentrate on reviving my terminally sick degree.

It was one of those hot, sultry summer London evenings, the night air full of strange scents (not all unpleasant) and everyone had their windows open. During one of my frankly quite frequent window gazing sessions I happened to spot the long shapely and unmistakeably female legs of a girl/woman lying on bed in a room about 2 floors below mine as she was watching TV. My essay now well and truly ignored I could not help notice during subsequent glances that the legs were getting further apart and a hand was idly heading towards her crotch. After much prayer, willpower and luck on my part the hand crept into the panties and much rummaging and writhing ensued. Now the dilemma - to share my good fortune with my housemates or a little self indulgence. The dilemma was resolved by her lasting considerably longer than me, me then spilling the beans after spilling the beans (so to speak) and her climaxing to a window full of spotty cheering students.

This episode explains 1. why Adrian (called student A to protect his identity) whilst originally demanding the room rotating rigmarole became strangely attached to his poky back room, and was not necessarily the book loving swot we once took him for, and 2. why you should never share a sexual experience with your mates - they will ruin it for you!

_{*I studied Physics at Imperialist College ratio 6:1 M to F (or just ask) hence the starvedness, not just me being a minger!}

Click "I like this" if you like this.
(jmaxi returned again on, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:17, 4 replies)

uh
this one time at uni...
my mate mark was in the next room getting a good seeing to by his rather loud lady. She would get progressively louder with each bounce and everyone in the house would listen in, there was no shame, it was a good laugh. On this occasion, i started joining in verbally on the offbeat to her on-the beat-yelps, something like

her- uh!
me - eh!

and repeat to a nice 4/4 uh! - eh! - uh! - eh!, tempo, volume and pitch rising to crescendo
when she at somepoint realises she can now hear me and her 'uh's start to alternate with laughs so now we have uh! - eh! - hee! - eh! - uh! - eh! - heeheh! until she's full on pissing herself laughing incontrollably until we hear the unmistakeable sounds of her losing her footing, falling off Mark, and hitting the floor with a thud. Everyone one in the house is laughing by then especially as we heard a rather unimpressed Mark going "oh for fucks sake".

So, voyeurism can be nice kids. Although not so much for Mark sometimes.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:16, 1 reply)

In Tunisia
I was in the middle of someone when I noticed a group of slimy men peering through our windows from their balcony, my fault I guess for not closing the curtains. I stood up, standing proud and glistening, straight towards them and closed the curtains. They didn't seem to like that being slightly backward looking locals.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:04, Reply)

I suppose it's not exactly interesting
but I was woken up at 4 last night by loud, enthusiastic sex shaking the walls here in the halls.

I even did the polite hacking-cough thing and they didn't stop. So I giggled openly and exaggereatedly. Still nothing. And nobody's owning up, either.

Suits me fine! I've got a 45W amplifier, a microphone and an internet full of porn. And you've got to be up at 9, you say? Oh dear.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:44, Reply)

Voyeurism
Back in the day, (about 3 years ago to be precise) myself & my mates would hang out in my mates loft & get stoned, as it was the only indoor place where we could & not get caught by parents. We always smoked out of his side window but for one evening, when we smoked out of the back window, which looks onto some houses. Yan, the host, sparked up a splif
but surprisingly started coughing & spluttering & had to pass it on to me. Naturally I took over the splif immediately but as I was taking it in I noticed what had caused Yan to react in such a way: a naked old man wandering around his bedroom leaving nothing to the imagination. nothing. I had done well & had managed to avoid choking on the bif, until the old fart bent over, presumably to put some damn clothes on. I managed to get downstairs & neatly barf in the bathroom sink but it was no consolation.
(furiousnd, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:44, Reply)

been thinkin bout this all day
been trying to think if i have ever seen anyone part from my brother plowing his misses


but meh i cant unless gigglin at mates bein randomly humped by sophie ( the pet hound ) gutted i hoped id have a proper decent story for my first QOTW but shit happens eh


how long ? 4 hours of trying to desipher drunken nights out
(free scooby !! bad grammar an spelling since 1985, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:44, 4 replies)

voyeurism&vandelisam
back in the mists of time when i was just a pup i was helping out at school by keeping away from the place.to fill the days in me and my mate gaz used to keep the rabbit population on its toes.walking around a pit slag heap we noteist a car parked up so we creeped up for a closer look only to see a spotty arse going up & down & a bird looking pissed off underneath it. after a couple of minutes we get board so we started throwing bricks at this car. i have never seen a man panick as much. the poor fucker was in a right state moneing about how he was going to explane about the damage to his wife.serves the cheating bastard right
(hello mr wolf, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:24, 20 replies)

italian minge (not the good kind)
At the beach of Viareggio in northern Italy last summer. The local Italians are all out in their bronzed and buxom best.

I look up from my copy of Stephen King's IT, and that's pretty much what I saw blinking back at me from twixt the varicose legs of a local old dear, in ancient swim suit sagginess.

My girlfriend still laughs at the memory of me spluttering and choking on a beer I no longer wanted. Well you'd be turned off your beer if you saw geriatric minge flapping about in the summer breeze. I cried a little bit.
(shanvishnu, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:21, 1 reply)

Was at a house party
(dressed as an S & M hooker complete with whip and handcuffs) held by 2 of my then best friends who I shall unimaginatively call X and Y. Being a student house party, copious amounts of alcohol and weed were consumed. At about 3, am invited upstairs by X, Y and Y's teenage brother for a cheeky spliff (the weed had run out as far as the rest of the party was concerned). Somehow this ends up in the 4 of us partaking in a fetish porno photoshoot (yes this did include the brother and sister). Everyone dressed in not much PVC, eating each others faces off, groping, whipping, being handcuffed etc. The photos remain.

I then passed out on the sofa with my flaps showing(these photos remain also). Apparently after that X, having tried it on with the whole party (self included), decided she wanted to continue from the photoshoot and go all the way with Y's teenage brother. Mercifully, he wasn't having any of it so she got her minge out in front of everyone and "pretended" (so she insists) to flik the bean. Meanwhile Y, who is somewhat vocal when engaged in certain activities, has disappeared upstairs with (a fat minger of) an old freind from school. Queue usual deafening howls.

Next morning, about half a dozen of us are having a breakfast spliff when Y's school freind walks in for a toke. Y's brother then utters the immortal line
"mate, have you been jizzing up my sister?"

It just got worse........
(Lotus Eater exposed herself on, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:11, 3 replies)

Picture the scene:
A warm June evening, The well manicured lawns of a stately home sloping gently and majestically down to where the tips of gently drooping branches occasionally dabbed the otherwise glass-like water of a small lake.
Picture too, the image of a young maiden in a ball gown only feet from the waters edge, frenetically bouncing around upon the cock what appeared to be a seriously drunk young man flat on his back.

It might have been quite a nice spot for an alfresco shag if it hadn't been for the 300 or so drunken graduates standing around discussing technique, giving pointers/encouragement etc.
(toomanydecibels has bleeding ears on, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 14:29, 1 reply)

Naked Dog Wrestling
I was round at a new boyfriend's flat one evening. He was running late that day and said he'd go take a quick shower and be right with me. This left me sitting with his American Staffordshire Terrier, Arthur, whilst I waited for him.
A couple of minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Shouted to boyfriend in the shower, who said I could answer it. I opened the door a tiny weeny crack and Arthur, like a dog possessed, shot past me into the corridor, where the terrified rent collector and his dog, Colin, stood. Arthur full on laid into poor little Colin, biting him on the neck and causing nasty injuries. Blood and dog hair everywhere.
So I ran back into the flat to get boyfriend out of the shower pronto! Boyfriend leaps to the rescue, wearing nothing but a towel, trying to prize the dogs apart. By this time, a huge crowd of neighbours were gathering outside the flat to see what the hell was going on and yep, you guessed, it - off came the towel, leaving naked boyfriend dog wrestling on the carpet, dog and human genitalia everywhere you dared to look.
Finally, dogs parted, bright red boyfriend stands up to standing ovation.
"Can I have my towel back please?"
Length? About 5 minutes.
[Colin the dog made a full recovery]
(NJ, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 14:17, 1 reply)

i hate kids!
the phrase
"EWWW MUMMY, TWO GIRLS KISSING"
Will haunt me forever.
Guys have long hair to you little shit!
(Malcav, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 14:15, 2 replies)

Naked girls in the park
T'was about 3 in the afternoon on me 20th birthday. Had a BBQ in the park and they're was these 2 page 3 stunners just bathing topless. Kids were in the park and everything!
Some blokes were even going up to them and asking them for a photo!
Then my best mates fella (ex now) shouts "OI! Lets carry him over theyre for a birthday blowie" much to my girlfriends surprise (needless to say were not together now either).



... I never did get that birthday blowie :(
(rossydizzle, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 14:10, Reply)

Hooker's Puppies
Me and a couple of mates just spent the weekend in Barcelona. While the three of us were stumbling between bars some hooker flashed her tits at my mate. So engrossed was he in getting a good look that he didn't notice her mate stealing 200 euros out of his back pocket. Ha ha ha and ha!

Length? They pretty much stretched down to her knees
(give it six weeks and it might clear up would like to butter your muffin, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 14:08, 2 replies)