The Weird Kid In Class
There was a kid in my class who stood up every day and told everyone he had new shoes. This went on for weeks, and we all thought him nuts. Then, one day, he stood up and told us a long story about why his family were moving to another part of the country, and how excited he was. The next thing we heard was that he'd died in a plane crash.
Let's hear about the weird kid in your class...
( , Fri 19 Jan 2007, 10:18)
There was a kid in my class who stood up every day and told everyone he had new shoes. This went on for weeks, and we all thought him nuts. Then, one day, he stood up and told us a long story about why his family were moving to another part of the country, and how excited he was. The next thing we heard was that he'd died in a plane crash.
Let's hear about the weird kid in your class...
( , Fri 19 Jan 2007, 10:18)
This question is now closed.
Not so much wierd as a complete mong
A girl a couple of years below me. I think I'll just list what she does because it'll be quicker.
-She likes to dance at the stupidest of moments i.e. when eating
-She likes to sing at the stupidest of moments i.e. funerals
-She pulls mong faces whenever she sees one of my friends - you know the one; wide eyes, raised eyebrows, hands waving in the air, and of course the BLAAAAAAWRGH! scream that everyone is accustomed to.
-And finally, not her fault i suppose, but she wears coke-bottle glasses. I once told her that she should have gone to Specsavers. She said "I do!".
I have a feeling she completely missed the joke.
No apologies for anything.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:59, Reply)
A girl a couple of years below me. I think I'll just list what she does because it'll be quicker.
-She likes to dance at the stupidest of moments i.e. when eating
-She likes to sing at the stupidest of moments i.e. funerals
-She pulls mong faces whenever she sees one of my friends - you know the one; wide eyes, raised eyebrows, hands waving in the air, and of course the BLAAAAAAWRGH! scream that everyone is accustomed to.
-And finally, not her fault i suppose, but she wears coke-bottle glasses. I once told her that she should have gone to Specsavers. She said "I do!".
I have a feeling she completely missed the joke.
No apologies for anything.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:59, Reply)
YOU
WERE the weird kid in class mmmmmphsydeshhhhhhhh @@@@@@@@@@GGGGsdf^^,
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:38, Reply)
WERE the weird kid in class mmmmmphsydeshhhhhhhh @@@@@@@@@@GGGGsdf^^,
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:38, Reply)
Never trust a child psychologist
I used to teach English in Spain, and spent a couple of summers as a monitor on a summer camp in the mountains, teaching English and doig sports and stuff with Spanish kids aged 7 - 17.
There was an 8 year old called Bruno who started out by swearing at everyone and screaming when he didn't get his own way. He went on to putting his hand up the older girls' skirts and grabbing their tits if they had any. It didn't matter how violently the girls hit him, he always went back for more.
Turned out both his parents were child psychologists, and when his teacher/monitor told his parents what he'd been up to, they just said "We think it's important for him to express himself"
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:31, Reply)
I used to teach English in Spain, and spent a couple of summers as a monitor on a summer camp in the mountains, teaching English and doig sports and stuff with Spanish kids aged 7 - 17.
There was an 8 year old called Bruno who started out by swearing at everyone and screaming when he didn't get his own way. He went on to putting his hand up the older girls' skirts and grabbing their tits if they had any. It didn't matter how violently the girls hit him, he always went back for more.
Turned out both his parents were child psychologists, and when his teacher/monitor told his parents what he'd been up to, they just said "We think it's important for him to express himself"
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:31, Reply)
There was this girl
PROPER fucking mess. She had this crazy poodle hair that sort of used to be a bob but had grown out too far for its own good, big black circles under her eyes, hooded eyelids, teeth so crooked and crowded they bore little resemblance to a human mouth at all - plus they were yellow and fluorosis stained. She had chronic eczema all over the palms of her hands and when it flared up really badly she actually left little flakes of dead skin and pus on EVERYTHING, and she had acne on her forehead even though she was only 11 but she had a fringe that virtually covered her eyes so you couldn't see it most of the time. She was so minging that nobody wanted to touch her, never mind be friends with her, and as a result she was really moody and antisocial because she assumed that if someone wanted to get to know her it was only so they could find things out to use against her and make fun of her. The lads drew cartoons of her and passed them round, then one day she totally lost it and attacked one of them and nearly scalped him so after that even the few people who had been friendly to her avoided her like the plague. When her first pet died everyone made fun of her for it, suggested she'd killed him herself because she was crazy. Her desperate attempts to be nice to the other girls in her year and make friends were rejected and she was branded a "minging lezzer", thus cast out even further.
And worst of all?
That little girl was me.
Still, as it often goes, I more or less grew out of my ugliness and by the time I left school everyone thought I was great. Plus I ended up with a wonderful boyfriend who thinks I'm sex on legs, so it wasn't all bad.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:30, Reply)
PROPER fucking mess. She had this crazy poodle hair that sort of used to be a bob but had grown out too far for its own good, big black circles under her eyes, hooded eyelids, teeth so crooked and crowded they bore little resemblance to a human mouth at all - plus they were yellow and fluorosis stained. She had chronic eczema all over the palms of her hands and when it flared up really badly she actually left little flakes of dead skin and pus on EVERYTHING, and she had acne on her forehead even though she was only 11 but she had a fringe that virtually covered her eyes so you couldn't see it most of the time. She was so minging that nobody wanted to touch her, never mind be friends with her, and as a result she was really moody and antisocial because she assumed that if someone wanted to get to know her it was only so they could find things out to use against her and make fun of her. The lads drew cartoons of her and passed them round, then one day she totally lost it and attacked one of them and nearly scalped him so after that even the few people who had been friendly to her avoided her like the plague. When her first pet died everyone made fun of her for it, suggested she'd killed him herself because she was crazy. Her desperate attempts to be nice to the other girls in her year and make friends were rejected and she was branded a "minging lezzer", thus cast out even further.
And worst of all?
That little girl was me.
Still, as it often goes, I more or less grew out of my ugliness and by the time I left school everyone thought I was great. Plus I ended up with a wonderful boyfriend who thinks I'm sex on legs, so it wasn't all bad.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:30, Reply)
Then there was the weird teacher
Science in 2nd year was with a man who talked constantly about how he'd feed his rabbit chips and threw one of those tall legged science classroom chairs at us because the "bad" kids wouldn't stop humming.
Then there was the teacher who wore the same outfit every day and taught us 2 things in 6 months, so shitting it before our exams we sign a petition to get a new teacher and she teaches us more in 2 months than the idiot teacher.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:29, Reply)
Science in 2nd year was with a man who talked constantly about how he'd feed his rabbit chips and threw one of those tall legged science classroom chairs at us because the "bad" kids wouldn't stop humming.
Then there was the teacher who wore the same outfit every day and taught us 2 things in 6 months, so shitting it before our exams we sign a petition to get a new teacher and she teaches us more in 2 months than the idiot teacher.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:29, Reply)
But we had a special ed division
There was a boy in our school called N. and he was a fairly highly functioning autistic boy (why he wasn't in our school's special unit i do not know) Now of all the stories of N. my favourite is the day he whipped it out in class and started masturbating under the table causing the people on either side of him to get up and run out of the classroom. Class.
We were 17 at the time.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:08, Reply)
There was a boy in our school called N. and he was a fairly highly functioning autistic boy (why he wasn't in our school's special unit i do not know) Now of all the stories of N. my favourite is the day he whipped it out in class and started masturbating under the table causing the people on either side of him to get up and run out of the classroom. Class.
We were 17 at the time.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:08, Reply)
Not quite weird?
I went to a somewhat posh public school so being weird was almost obligatory. There was this one feller, named Martin Freeman I think, who was always picking on this other kid named Clive Welham. Poor old Clive had alopeacia so his hair was a bit random and tufty. Anyway old Martin liked to yell out really loudly at Clive at random intervals in class. And what did he choose to yell? 'Boorman'. We knew not why, only that he referred to Martin Boorman the top dog Nazi guy.
Eventually our French teacher (and there're some good stories about him) called Freeman out and made him write a 1000 word essay to explain his actions.
The next day we are all surprised that not only has Martin done the essay but that 'Trev' the teacher is going to read it out.
Obviously it was 20+ years ago, so I hardly remember it now but the gist was that Martin's dad had been in the SOE in the war and was aware of a plot to allow Boorman to escape to England and assume a new cover story. As such the yelling was an attempt to catch out the Nazi as he pretended to be Welham. Inventive we think, but utterly nuts. I'd like to think he went on to write anarchic comedy but he's more likely inside or in the Army now. Good luck though whatever you're doing mate!
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:07, Reply)
I went to a somewhat posh public school so being weird was almost obligatory. There was this one feller, named Martin Freeman I think, who was always picking on this other kid named Clive Welham. Poor old Clive had alopeacia so his hair was a bit random and tufty. Anyway old Martin liked to yell out really loudly at Clive at random intervals in class. And what did he choose to yell? 'Boorman'. We knew not why, only that he referred to Martin Boorman the top dog Nazi guy.
Eventually our French teacher (and there're some good stories about him) called Freeman out and made him write a 1000 word essay to explain his actions.
The next day we are all surprised that not only has Martin done the essay but that 'Trev' the teacher is going to read it out.
Obviously it was 20+ years ago, so I hardly remember it now but the gist was that Martin's dad had been in the SOE in the war and was aware of a plot to allow Boorman to escape to England and assume a new cover story. As such the yelling was an attempt to catch out the Nazi as he pretended to be Welham. Inventive we think, but utterly nuts. I'd like to think he went on to write anarchic comedy but he's more likely inside or in the Army now. Good luck though whatever you're doing mate!
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 18:07, Reply)
The facts of life
I'll call him G.
Now although basically a thicko G was obsessed with King Gustavus Adolfus of Sweden for no apparent reason. Couldn't read enough about the guy, just hero-worshipped him.
Also nuts about fishing. Refused to believe us when we told him how babies were made - he would clap his hands to his ears and run away screaming "It's all lies! My parents are fish and I was spawned in a river!" (This at age twelve).
One evening he was tasked with picking his younger (perfectly normal) brother up from a teenage party. He marched into the darkened living room, physically prised the brother off the girl he was snogging and hit him full in the face.
Why when I was tripping on acid with a friend did we have to bump into G in the pub? And why would he start talking about the Holocaust? I was crying with laughter (yes, but I *was* monged at the time) whilst he carried on gravely telling me about the horrors of Auschwitz and Belsen.
After school he became a river warden which you might have thought a perfect job. Sadly blew his brains out with a shotgun after a few years. Poor guy.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 17:38, Reply)
I'll call him G.
Now although basically a thicko G was obsessed with King Gustavus Adolfus of Sweden for no apparent reason. Couldn't read enough about the guy, just hero-worshipped him.
Also nuts about fishing. Refused to believe us when we told him how babies were made - he would clap his hands to his ears and run away screaming "It's all lies! My parents are fish and I was spawned in a river!" (This at age twelve).
One evening he was tasked with picking his younger (perfectly normal) brother up from a teenage party. He marched into the darkened living room, physically prised the brother off the girl he was snogging and hit him full in the face.
Why when I was tripping on acid with a friend did we have to bump into G in the pub? And why would he start talking about the Holocaust? I was crying with laughter (yes, but I *was* monged at the time) whilst he carried on gravely telling me about the horrors of Auschwitz and Belsen.
After school he became a river warden which you might have thought a perfect job. Sadly blew his brains out with a shotgun after a few years. Poor guy.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 17:38, Reply)
PIGEONS
A story one of my primary teacher told me of one of her ex-pupils back in the day.
There was a special needs kid that was getting moved to a special needs school a week later or so, and she was killing time by asking the class what bird was native to an example she was giving.
"Name a bird that is typically found in the Amazon jungle..."
Special Kid's hand shoots up, "PIGEONS!"
"Name a bird that is found in (whatever other place).."
Again, special kid goes "PIGEONS!"
So the teacher decided to let him have his moment...
"What bird is typically found in Trafalgar Square?"
"BUDGIES!!"
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 16:22, Reply)
A story one of my primary teacher told me of one of her ex-pupils back in the day.
There was a special needs kid that was getting moved to a special needs school a week later or so, and she was killing time by asking the class what bird was native to an example she was giving.
"Name a bird that is typically found in the Amazon jungle..."
Special Kid's hand shoots up, "PIGEONS!"
"Name a bird that is found in (whatever other place).."
Again, special kid goes "PIGEONS!"
So the teacher decided to let him have his moment...
"What bird is typically found in Trafalgar Square?"
"BUDGIES!!"
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 16:22, Reply)
Bunny killer
There is a selection too choose from, but for the sheer fact I wasn’t concerned about him at the time, but now wake in a cold sweat thinking about him, I’m going with DP, as I’m not sure if I can use his real name for legal reasons.
He was in my class from year 3-6 so from 7-11. He was always a little odd, pretending to be a dog, growling at people, ALWAYS wore a weird look on his face. For the most part, it was ok. It was only because of a group called fuzzbuzz, for kids with reading/writing difficulties that we got together. Now, I didn’t have much of a problem reading, but my spelling isn’t exactly great and my penmanship is about level with a 9 year old’s. Most of the kids in the group were a little, shall we say, challenged, so they weren’t normal but DP took the cake.
One year were had to write a Christmas lists, I made my, retrospectively milf of a teacher cry slightly with my heart breakingly sweet letter about how I didn’t want any toys, just too see my nana one last time (she died a few weeks before). So then, Mrs Smith wiped her eyes and asked DP what he wanted. “A pram for my Timmy tears doll.” He said without a hint of shame, being 6, this is odd behaviour. Learned all about it in my course a few months ago, its very odd but still not frightening.
It got a bit scary when he confided in me that he missed his bunnies. Being a sensitive lad, I asked when they had died, he told me the two dates, as well as the details of their deaths.
He broke the first one’s back trying to ride on it! This made me feel fear, I was 9 but I wanted to run and hide, but no, then he told me how rabbit number two jumped out of his window and broke its neck. I honestly think it was a bid for freedom or trying to spare itself an agonising death.
I’ve been told a couple of things about him lately, I was informed by on old school friend that DP now is a full chav and had a kid (age 17), and more recently that he was about to appear in court accused of rape.
He was a fucking nutter.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 16:19, Reply)
There is a selection too choose from, but for the sheer fact I wasn’t concerned about him at the time, but now wake in a cold sweat thinking about him, I’m going with DP, as I’m not sure if I can use his real name for legal reasons.
He was in my class from year 3-6 so from 7-11. He was always a little odd, pretending to be a dog, growling at people, ALWAYS wore a weird look on his face. For the most part, it was ok. It was only because of a group called fuzzbuzz, for kids with reading/writing difficulties that we got together. Now, I didn’t have much of a problem reading, but my spelling isn’t exactly great and my penmanship is about level with a 9 year old’s. Most of the kids in the group were a little, shall we say, challenged, so they weren’t normal but DP took the cake.
One year were had to write a Christmas lists, I made my, retrospectively milf of a teacher cry slightly with my heart breakingly sweet letter about how I didn’t want any toys, just too see my nana one last time (she died a few weeks before). So then, Mrs Smith wiped her eyes and asked DP what he wanted. “A pram for my Timmy tears doll.” He said without a hint of shame, being 6, this is odd behaviour. Learned all about it in my course a few months ago, its very odd but still not frightening.
It got a bit scary when he confided in me that he missed his bunnies. Being a sensitive lad, I asked when they had died, he told me the two dates, as well as the details of their deaths.
He broke the first one’s back trying to ride on it! This made me feel fear, I was 9 but I wanted to run and hide, but no, then he told me how rabbit number two jumped out of his window and broke its neck. I honestly think it was a bid for freedom or trying to spare itself an agonising death.
I’ve been told a couple of things about him lately, I was informed by on old school friend that DP now is a full chav and had a kid (age 17), and more recently that he was about to appear in court accused of rape.
He was a fucking nutter.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 16:19, Reply)
Ben likes to pick the white bits out of my tweeny
Read that sentence again... It was said by Ben's younger sister.
Still sends a shiver down my spine.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 15:17, Reply)
Read that sentence again... It was said by Ben's younger sister.
Still sends a shiver down my spine.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 15:17, Reply)
Jizz and Coke
Back in primary school we had a kid with Downs syndrome who's name was James. I know this isn't especially weird but fuck it.
Our desks were arranged in a large "U" shape around the classroom. I was sat at the top of one of these rows. The kid with Downs was sat at the bottom. We were all working away quietly when I hear someone shouting "Oi! Will you stop spitting at me, James!"
Unfortunately James wasn't spitting. He was wanking. And my friend was covered in his jizz.
I also knew this guy in my first year of secondary school (all boys) who used to run around with an empty coke bottle shouting, "Arrrrgh! This is your cock!" and then proceed to perform oral sex on said bottle.
He was a nice guy but he did look a bit like a rubber chicken.
Length? Not as big as a coke bottle.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 14:53, Reply)
Back in primary school we had a kid with Downs syndrome who's name was James. I know this isn't especially weird but fuck it.
Our desks were arranged in a large "U" shape around the classroom. I was sat at the top of one of these rows. The kid with Downs was sat at the bottom. We were all working away quietly when I hear someone shouting "Oi! Will you stop spitting at me, James!"
Unfortunately James wasn't spitting. He was wanking. And my friend was covered in his jizz.
I also knew this guy in my first year of secondary school (all boys) who used to run around with an empty coke bottle shouting, "Arrrrgh! This is your cock!" and then proceed to perform oral sex on said bottle.
He was a nice guy but he did look a bit like a rubber chicken.
Length? Not as big as a coke bottle.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 14:53, Reply)
Eric "Rainbow" Bower
C/O Park View Comprehensive, Barrow in the early 80's.
Rainbow had no fear - absolutely none. He'd jump off roofs if persuaded to, cast aspersions upon the teachers wives' fidelity, set his own clothes on fire whilst wearing them and thrust various limbs through plate glass windows on a regular basis.
Regrettably his illustrious career of derring-do came to an abrupt but inevitable end when, presumably out of curiosity, he climbed into a gravel - crushing machine....
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 14:31, Reply)
C/O Park View Comprehensive, Barrow in the early 80's.
Rainbow had no fear - absolutely none. He'd jump off roofs if persuaded to, cast aspersions upon the teachers wives' fidelity, set his own clothes on fire whilst wearing them and thrust various limbs through plate glass windows on a regular basis.
Regrettably his illustrious career of derring-do came to an abrupt but inevitable end when, presumably out of curiosity, he climbed into a gravel - crushing machine....
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 14:31, Reply)
...
How many b3tans are sat around hoping that a story doesn't get posted about them?
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 14:16, Reply)
How many b3tans are sat around hoping that a story doesn't get posted about them?
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 14:16, Reply)
There was never a truly "weird" kid in any of my classes..
But there were a few "not-so-ordinary" people i can remember, of which the most prominent is "Shaun". He was a bit of a weedy kid in Years 7 and 8, and subsequently, was subject to a little bit of bullying, mainly because he was also a bit daft. The turning point (from mild teasing to full blown bullying) came one day when someone caught him out when ihe hadn't locked the toilet door. It turned out that he had shit himself, then was trying desperatly to clear himself up, and someone saw.
Of course, the bullying that ensued led to him leaving Wednesfield High School, in favour of a different school, and to this day, he remains known as "Shitpants Shaun" (How original)
The best bit is, it turns out he attends the same A-Level college as me. Nowadays, he tries to act "hard" with his chav mates, and either he doesn't rmrmeber me from Yr7+8, or he's ignoring my presence (and everyone elses who were in my year at my secondary school) in a vain hope that we've all forgotten. But we haven't. And one day, we'll tell his chavvy mates the legend of "Shitpants Shaun"...
Wait, this QoTW answer is missing something:
*Insert obligatory penis-joke here, and attempt to relate it to the size fo your answer*
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 13:21, Reply)
But there were a few "not-so-ordinary" people i can remember, of which the most prominent is "Shaun". He was a bit of a weedy kid in Years 7 and 8, and subsequently, was subject to a little bit of bullying, mainly because he was also a bit daft. The turning point (from mild teasing to full blown bullying) came one day when someone caught him out when ihe hadn't locked the toilet door. It turned out that he had shit himself, then was trying desperatly to clear himself up, and someone saw.
Of course, the bullying that ensued led to him leaving Wednesfield High School, in favour of a different school, and to this day, he remains known as "Shitpants Shaun" (How original)
The best bit is, it turns out he attends the same A-Level college as me. Nowadays, he tries to act "hard" with his chav mates, and either he doesn't rmrmeber me from Yr7+8, or he's ignoring my presence (and everyone elses who were in my year at my secondary school) in a vain hope that we've all forgotten. But we haven't. And one day, we'll tell his chavvy mates the legend of "Shitpants Shaun"...
Wait, this QoTW answer is missing something:
*Insert obligatory penis-joke here, and attempt to relate it to the size fo your answer*
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 13:21, Reply)
all of my friends are weird...
I used to study electronic engineering in Warrington, where I made friends with a real nerd. He was absolutely nerd, all the way through - always wore a tie and shirt, carried all his electronics tools with him, at all times, in a briefcase type service case, was never late, always stayed behind, wore big-ass rimmed glasses, laughed like a nerd and so on. In fact, if you cut him in half, it would say 'nerd' inside him, just like seaside rock.
Anyway, he didn't show up to class one day, which was weird as he was never ill (tablets, fresh fruit, no alcohol etc), but thought nothingof it. Then he was missing the next day, again with no explanation, which was completely out of character.
It was about the third or fourth day when we were talking to the technician and he broke the news to us - the lad had apparently cracked over the previous weekend and apparently ran through the centre of Liverpool with what police thought was a handgun. He was shouting and not co-operating fully so they shot him in both thighs and he ended up in prison. Never heard from him again!
Nice lad, bit weird, now probably walks funny and takes it up the bum from mr big.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 11:42, Reply)
I used to study electronic engineering in Warrington, where I made friends with a real nerd. He was absolutely nerd, all the way through - always wore a tie and shirt, carried all his electronics tools with him, at all times, in a briefcase type service case, was never late, always stayed behind, wore big-ass rimmed glasses, laughed like a nerd and so on. In fact, if you cut him in half, it would say 'nerd' inside him, just like seaside rock.
Anyway, he didn't show up to class one day, which was weird as he was never ill (tablets, fresh fruit, no alcohol etc), but thought nothingof it. Then he was missing the next day, again with no explanation, which was completely out of character.
It was about the third or fourth day when we were talking to the technician and he broke the news to us - the lad had apparently cracked over the previous weekend and apparently ran through the centre of Liverpool with what police thought was a handgun. He was shouting and not co-operating fully so they shot him in both thighs and he ended up in prison. Never heard from him again!
Nice lad, bit weird, now probably walks funny and takes it up the bum from mr big.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 11:42, Reply)
"The alien exchange student from mars"
One day in high school, a new kid turned up. He was WEIRD.
He wasn't weird because of anything he said, and he would spend his lunchtimes hiding in the library, even though (at this stage) he hadn't actually been bullied by anyone. If you saw him, he would move to a different spot. This kid just didn't want to be seen.
He was in the year below mine, yet no-one in that year seemed to actually be in a class with him.
He never actually replied to anyone that tried to talk to him, he'd just keep looking at you, confused, until you walked away. He was a mystery to everyone.
He used to always carry a black book in his blazer pocket. One time a friend of mine snatched it - it was "The A-Z of atomic warfare".
A year later, he disappeared again. Most people didn't even remember him, those that did only knew of him as "The alien exchange student from Mars".
I like to think that my friend averted an interplanetary war by taking that book.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 10:18, Reply)
One day in high school, a new kid turned up. He was WEIRD.
He wasn't weird because of anything he said, and he would spend his lunchtimes hiding in the library, even though (at this stage) he hadn't actually been bullied by anyone. If you saw him, he would move to a different spot. This kid just didn't want to be seen.
He was in the year below mine, yet no-one in that year seemed to actually be in a class with him.
He never actually replied to anyone that tried to talk to him, he'd just keep looking at you, confused, until you walked away. He was a mystery to everyone.
He used to always carry a black book in his blazer pocket. One time a friend of mine snatched it - it was "The A-Z of atomic warfare".
A year later, he disappeared again. Most people didn't even remember him, those that did only knew of him as "The alien exchange student from Mars".
I like to think that my friend averted an interplanetary war by taking that book.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 10:18, Reply)
a few select choices
Paul Rodwell, alot of schools have them the kids who run non stop all day long, and I mean non stop, he was quite handy on the rugby field apart from the fact he would never pass or even let go of the ball....ever, we had to ruck the fuck out of him just to get the ball out.
but the true weirdos I met during a stint in the Navy, where on one ship you never wanted to open a locker cos this bloke was always getting found in them naked covered in furniture polish, his party trick was fitting a whole bar of soap in his foreskin...which is quite startling if you have never seen that before
another guy in training ran around a stairwell for hours on end holding a clock spouting some nonsense about gnomes although I have long held the suspicion he was doing a Cpl Clinger he did get a medical discharge though....result I guess
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 9:59, Reply)
Paul Rodwell, alot of schools have them the kids who run non stop all day long, and I mean non stop, he was quite handy on the rugby field apart from the fact he would never pass or even let go of the ball....ever, we had to ruck the fuck out of him just to get the ball out.
but the true weirdos I met during a stint in the Navy, where on one ship you never wanted to open a locker cos this bloke was always getting found in them naked covered in furniture polish, his party trick was fitting a whole bar of soap in his foreskin...which is quite startling if you have never seen that before
another guy in training ran around a stairwell for hours on end holding a clock spouting some nonsense about gnomes although I have long held the suspicion he was doing a Cpl Clinger he did get a medical discharge though....result I guess
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 9:59, Reply)
I knew too many weird dudes...
But this one guy definitely takes the cake. I went to elementary school and PSR class with him back in the day. I have no idea what kind of mental deficiency he had, but did and said some weird shit.
Like we had to take these multiplication tests in third grade. You had a time limit to do as many problems on the page as you could. Well this kid would start jumping up and down in his desk waiting for the tests to begin. The pages laid face down, and he would be perched in his chair at his desk, face smashed into the desk and ass sticking right up in the air... babbling and making stupid roaring noises until they said it was time to start. Then he would always flip his paper over really fast, bang his fists against the desk and yell "YES! HAHA!" at the top of his lungs before he started. I would patiently and quietly kick his ass on a daily basis at math anyways, so I dunno why he thought he was so goddamn special.
Whenever we had mass during PSR classes, he would lay down on the kneeler inside the pews and steal everyone's paper programs that were given out and stuck into the pockets in front of us (on the backs of the benches), ulitmately forgotten about. But this kid would steal them all, like a goddamned thief. Then he would laugh and eat them right in front of us.
This weird motherfucker watched some kid throw up in the lunchroom once. Since he had behavior problems, he had an assistant with him at all times. He kept yelling for her, screaming that the kid "Just puked up ROYGBIV!" Then he would drag his poor assistant over to the puke pile and continually point at it, reciting the colors of the rainbow incessantly. Great, kid.
In PSR he also had an obsession with stuffed animals. But he had this one stuffed dolphin that wore snorkels... and he would NEVER leave that thing out of his sight. He would always fuck around with it and talk to it during class. The teacher got mad enough once that he was going to take the toy away from the kid. But Nutty McGee yelled and ran out the door of the classroom, and didn't reappear for a good 3 weeks of class.
Haha, oh... and in the PSR classroom he would always play around with the human skeleton they had in there. He would make the mouth move and taunt the teacher and shit (usually when having his behavior corrected, ironically). In retrospect, I find it even more odd that the school had a human skeleton... didn't think religious places wanted to have anything to do with, you know... sciencey things.
There was also this other kid who used to click his pencil on the desk all goddamn day long... but we won't speak of him. This entry is too long already. Sorry everyone.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 9:47, Reply)
But this one guy definitely takes the cake. I went to elementary school and PSR class with him back in the day. I have no idea what kind of mental deficiency he had, but did and said some weird shit.
Like we had to take these multiplication tests in third grade. You had a time limit to do as many problems on the page as you could. Well this kid would start jumping up and down in his desk waiting for the tests to begin. The pages laid face down, and he would be perched in his chair at his desk, face smashed into the desk and ass sticking right up in the air... babbling and making stupid roaring noises until they said it was time to start. Then he would always flip his paper over really fast, bang his fists against the desk and yell "YES! HAHA!" at the top of his lungs before he started. I would patiently and quietly kick his ass on a daily basis at math anyways, so I dunno why he thought he was so goddamn special.
Whenever we had mass during PSR classes, he would lay down on the kneeler inside the pews and steal everyone's paper programs that were given out and stuck into the pockets in front of us (on the backs of the benches), ulitmately forgotten about. But this kid would steal them all, like a goddamned thief. Then he would laugh and eat them right in front of us.
This weird motherfucker watched some kid throw up in the lunchroom once. Since he had behavior problems, he had an assistant with him at all times. He kept yelling for her, screaming that the kid "Just puked up ROYGBIV!" Then he would drag his poor assistant over to the puke pile and continually point at it, reciting the colors of the rainbow incessantly. Great, kid.
In PSR he also had an obsession with stuffed animals. But he had this one stuffed dolphin that wore snorkels... and he would NEVER leave that thing out of his sight. He would always fuck around with it and talk to it during class. The teacher got mad enough once that he was going to take the toy away from the kid. But Nutty McGee yelled and ran out the door of the classroom, and didn't reappear for a good 3 weeks of class.
Haha, oh... and in the PSR classroom he would always play around with the human skeleton they had in there. He would make the mouth move and taunt the teacher and shit (usually when having his behavior corrected, ironically). In retrospect, I find it even more odd that the school had a human skeleton... didn't think religious places wanted to have anything to do with, you know... sciencey things.
There was also this other kid who used to click his pencil on the desk all goddamn day long... but we won't speak of him. This entry is too long already. Sorry everyone.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 9:47, Reply)
Oh, loverly- the stories
For a good long while I was the weird one- the spelling-bee champ who would kick anyone's ass for looking at me funny. Had a massive obsession with black holes and such that culminated in me spending my entire fourth-grade career studying them and eventually teaching science class for a week because the teacher couldn't be bothered. Also read nearly constantly, and yet didn't know who'd won the American Revolution until I was 11.
I wasn't the only one, oh no. My Lit teacher in 11th and 12th grade had stories. Oh, did he have stories.
Like the one girl. Had a few mental problems, so had to have a behavior sheet filled out after every class. For the most part, a nice girl, however as soon as she sat down and the bell rang, she'd burst into tears and sob all through class until the bell rang again, at which point she'd dry her eyes, and with a cheery "See you tomorrow, Mr. Yak!" she'd leave.
This went on for some time, and finally he couldn't just ignore it, so on her sheet he wrote down "exhibits bizarre behavior." That's all. No major complaints.
A few days later she comes in with an intense glare.
"Do you like the word bizarre, Mr. Yak? My parents won't like the word... bizarre!"
Now, Guidance isn't supposed to show the kids these sheets- so he was shitting himself in anger as he rang up the office.
Turns out she'd gone through the filing cabinet, taken out all the "J" files, and sat out back casually dumping them in the tip until she found hers. Lovely girl, really. Heard she killed herself a few years later.
Another nutter was one from long before my time- back when Day-Glo pink was all the rage in men's fashion. This kid, too, needed a behavior sheet, for he was on all sorts of lovely drugs and such, and had the IQ of boiled peas.
So one day, as class is going along, Mr. Yak notices the kid's got his tank-top pulled all the way to the side, and he's doobling his nipple. Just sitting there, contentedly, doobling.
Yak is troubled by this, but for lack of a better idea, simply puts down "fondles nipple" on the behavior sheet.
Cue next day, middle of class, when the intercom comes on.
"Mr. Yakavonis?"
"Yeah?"
"Does this say... fondles nipple?"
"Sure does!"
"Uhm. Thank you."
Few months later, same kid was sitting in class, jerking his head back and forth. Yak asks what he's doing.
"I'm in a race!"
Apologies for length, but NEVER for girth, you filthy little pansies.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 9:22, Reply)
For a good long while I was the weird one- the spelling-bee champ who would kick anyone's ass for looking at me funny. Had a massive obsession with black holes and such that culminated in me spending my entire fourth-grade career studying them and eventually teaching science class for a week because the teacher couldn't be bothered. Also read nearly constantly, and yet didn't know who'd won the American Revolution until I was 11.
I wasn't the only one, oh no. My Lit teacher in 11th and 12th grade had stories. Oh, did he have stories.
Like the one girl. Had a few mental problems, so had to have a behavior sheet filled out after every class. For the most part, a nice girl, however as soon as she sat down and the bell rang, she'd burst into tears and sob all through class until the bell rang again, at which point she'd dry her eyes, and with a cheery "See you tomorrow, Mr. Yak!" she'd leave.
This went on for some time, and finally he couldn't just ignore it, so on her sheet he wrote down "exhibits bizarre behavior." That's all. No major complaints.
A few days later she comes in with an intense glare.
"Do you like the word bizarre, Mr. Yak? My parents won't like the word... bizarre!"
Now, Guidance isn't supposed to show the kids these sheets- so he was shitting himself in anger as he rang up the office.
Turns out she'd gone through the filing cabinet, taken out all the "J" files, and sat out back casually dumping them in the tip until she found hers. Lovely girl, really. Heard she killed herself a few years later.
Another nutter was one from long before my time- back when Day-Glo pink was all the rage in men's fashion. This kid, too, needed a behavior sheet, for he was on all sorts of lovely drugs and such, and had the IQ of boiled peas.
So one day, as class is going along, Mr. Yak notices the kid's got his tank-top pulled all the way to the side, and he's doobling his nipple. Just sitting there, contentedly, doobling.
Yak is troubled by this, but for lack of a better idea, simply puts down "fondles nipple" on the behavior sheet.
Cue next day, middle of class, when the intercom comes on.
"Mr. Yakavonis?"
"Yeah?"
"Does this say... fondles nipple?"
"Sure does!"
"Uhm. Thank you."
Few months later, same kid was sitting in class, jerking his head back and forth. Yak asks what he's doing.
"I'm in a race!"
Apologies for length, but NEVER for girth, you filthy little pansies.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 9:22, Reply)
SHUT UP
Young Sean was a queer lad. Overweight, unhygienic [it was known he smelled of dirt - the smell that comes some 3 months after BO], reserved and quietly confident that he was on the verge of genius.
Except, his intellect was sub-par and his arrogance was super-prevalent.
And we wound him up something awful. I mean, even Ghandi would have laid one of us out. It started with subtle bullying - not sitting next to him, or near him and then not even acknowledging him at all. Then throwing things. Then poking.
It all got too much one day in Physics. Poor Sean had had enough. Our teacher undermined his ridiculous query once again and just at that moment a piece of rubber struck him.
Oh dear.
Sean's eyes were ablaze. Sean picked up his chair. Sean threw the chair at the teacher. Sean glared at us all, into our very souls. And then started the screaming;
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP"
He was screaming at all of us. And then still screaming, drowning out the teacher ordering him out, he left. Opened the door and slammed it so hard it dislodged the door frame.
My my. We pushed that boy too far.
Incidentally, I hear he's doing not too badly at the glorified college of Abertay.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 8:49, Reply)
Young Sean was a queer lad. Overweight, unhygienic [it was known he smelled of dirt - the smell that comes some 3 months after BO], reserved and quietly confident that he was on the verge of genius.
Except, his intellect was sub-par and his arrogance was super-prevalent.
And we wound him up something awful. I mean, even Ghandi would have laid one of us out. It started with subtle bullying - not sitting next to him, or near him and then not even acknowledging him at all. Then throwing things. Then poking.
It all got too much one day in Physics. Poor Sean had had enough. Our teacher undermined his ridiculous query once again and just at that moment a piece of rubber struck him.
Oh dear.
Sean's eyes were ablaze. Sean picked up his chair. Sean threw the chair at the teacher. Sean glared at us all, into our very souls. And then started the screaming;
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP"
He was screaming at all of us. And then still screaming, drowning out the teacher ordering him out, he left. Opened the door and slammed it so hard it dislodged the door frame.
My my. We pushed that boy too far.
Incidentally, I hear he's doing not too badly at the glorified college of Abertay.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 8:49, Reply)
This one was my friend...
We nicknamed him "Guppy". Have no idea why.
So there we are, first year seniors. I'm sitting next to him. He's talking to me while we're supposed to be doing maths. "Shh..." I say, but does he listen? No, he keeps yammering. Teacher tells him to be quiet or he'll get litter duty, aka picking up all the crap off the playground during morning break.
So what happens? Silly bastard talks again. He's given litter duty, and promptly bursts into tears. Cue much laughter from everyone but me who has realised we will now get beaten up regularly because of this... The teacher asks what's wrong... And the immortal line was uttered that would haunt him until he left school, a line that would be remembered for over a quarter of a century by his friends...
"It came on so sudden."
This was in the first class that Friday morning. He was STILL crying that afternoon, long after the punishment had finished. Mortifying.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 8:31, Reply)
We nicknamed him "Guppy". Have no idea why.
So there we are, first year seniors. I'm sitting next to him. He's talking to me while we're supposed to be doing maths. "Shh..." I say, but does he listen? No, he keeps yammering. Teacher tells him to be quiet or he'll get litter duty, aka picking up all the crap off the playground during morning break.
So what happens? Silly bastard talks again. He's given litter duty, and promptly bursts into tears. Cue much laughter from everyone but me who has realised we will now get beaten up regularly because of this... The teacher asks what's wrong... And the immortal line was uttered that would haunt him until he left school, a line that would be remembered for over a quarter of a century by his friends...
"It came on so sudden."
This was in the first class that Friday morning. He was STILL crying that afternoon, long after the punishment had finished. Mortifying.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 8:31, Reply)
For Patrick, a little Ashford and Simpson
Sollitt, Sollitt eats his snot
That's what this love is
That's what we've got
Sollitt
Sollitt eats his snot
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
You didn't turn away
When the sky went gray
Somehow we managed
We had to stay together
You didn't bat an eye
When I made you cry
We knew down the line
We could make it better
And for love's sake
Each mistake you forgave
And soon both of us
Learn to trust
Not run away
It weats no time to play
We build it up
Build it up
Build it up
And now it's Sollitt
Sollitt eats his snot
That's what this love is
That's what we've got
Sollitt, Sollitt eats his snot
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
Gone with the wind
Another friend got in between
And tried to separate us
Knock knock on wood
You understood
Love weats so new
We did what we had to
And with that feeling
We were willing to take a chance
So against all odds
We made a start
We got serious
This wouldn't turn to dust
We build it up
Build it up
Build it up
And now it's Sollitt
Sollitt eats his snot
That's what this love is
That's what we've got
Sollitt, Sollitt eats his snot
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
Sollitt
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 7:16, Reply)
Sollitt, Sollitt eats his snot
That's what this love is
That's what we've got
Sollitt
Sollitt eats his snot
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
You didn't turn away
When the sky went gray
Somehow we managed
We had to stay together
You didn't bat an eye
When I made you cry
We knew down the line
We could make it better
And for love's sake
Each mistake you forgave
And soon both of us
Learn to trust
Not run away
It weats no time to play
We build it up
Build it up
Build it up
And now it's Sollitt
Sollitt eats his snot
That's what this love is
That's what we've got
Sollitt, Sollitt eats his snot
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
Gone with the wind
Another friend got in between
And tried to separate us
Knock knock on wood
You understood
Love weats so new
We did what we had to
And with that feeling
We were willing to take a chance
So against all odds
We made a start
We got serious
This wouldn't turn to dust
We build it up
Build it up
Build it up
And now it's Sollitt
Sollitt eats his snot
That's what this love is
That's what we've got
Sollitt, Sollitt eats his snot
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
Sollitt
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 7:16, Reply)
by the time I graduated, I was pretty unusual for my class.
I was alive.
Also, I wasn't too popular after someone gave me a copy of 'Blonde on Blonde'. "Man - have you ever heard of Dylan? Dylan's awesome".
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 6:49, Reply)
I was alive.
Also, I wasn't too popular after someone gave me a copy of 'Blonde on Blonde'. "Man - have you ever heard of Dylan? Dylan's awesome".
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 6:49, Reply)
I lied
all the way through school about everything I could but I've stopped now, honest.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 6:01, Reply)
all the way through school about everything I could but I've stopped now, honest.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 6:01, Reply)
another
Boy in 9th grade wrestled alligators. he was 18, which means he was held back 2 years
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 5:05, Reply)
Boy in 9th grade wrestled alligators. he was 18, which means he was held back 2 years
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 5:05, Reply)
Hmm
Being in a theatre program you’d readily expect a few oddballs, and here’s my favorite one. Tom introduced himself to me on the first day by telling me he’d been to a concert once. The next day we had history class and he asked me if he could sit in the empty seat next to me – jokingly I said, “Sure, as long as you don’t look at me.” Well he didn’t. He kept his fool head down for about 20 minutes until I noticed and told him I was joking. But Tom took the cake the day he had to present his assignment on Drug Addiction in Psychology. He announced that he had written a one man play, and would perform it for the class. He assumed the roles of Judy Garland and John Belushi, who happened to both be in Hell for being drug addicts, and they were having a conversation. Apparently since Judy had died of an overdose, she was doomed to push a giant rock through hell for all eternity and, “Boy was she tired!” This politically incorrect skit went on for maybe half an hour and the best part was that Tom was completely serious about the whole thing, completely oblivious to everyone’s look of disbelief, and very proud of himself when he was finished performing.
Despite being completely baffling and slightly terrifying, I like the kid.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 4:54, Reply)
Being in a theatre program you’d readily expect a few oddballs, and here’s my favorite one. Tom introduced himself to me on the first day by telling me he’d been to a concert once. The next day we had history class and he asked me if he could sit in the empty seat next to me – jokingly I said, “Sure, as long as you don’t look at me.” Well he didn’t. He kept his fool head down for about 20 minutes until I noticed and told him I was joking. But Tom took the cake the day he had to present his assignment on Drug Addiction in Psychology. He announced that he had written a one man play, and would perform it for the class. He assumed the roles of Judy Garland and John Belushi, who happened to both be in Hell for being drug addicts, and they were having a conversation. Apparently since Judy had died of an overdose, she was doomed to push a giant rock through hell for all eternity and, “Boy was she tired!” This politically incorrect skit went on for maybe half an hour and the best part was that Tom was completely serious about the whole thing, completely oblivious to everyone’s look of disbelief, and very proud of himself when he was finished performing.
Despite being completely baffling and slightly terrifying, I like the kid.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 4:54, Reply)
james parton, and some twins
Mew'd like a cat in class.
In the same year, there were twins who made moose calls and hid in trashcans
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 4:37, Reply)
Mew'd like a cat in class.
In the same year, there were twins who made moose calls and hid in trashcans
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 4:37, Reply)
"My sister bit the end of it off"
The above phrase will be remembered by anyone who attended Mountbatten Junior High School in Hull between 1983 and 1986. It was uttered by the immortal Peter Bunn, huge beast of a boy who regularly attended Weight Watchers and frequently came to school with a fruit platter for being "Slimmer of the week".
Every Xmas the 4th years would do a pantomime, and when our turn came we did "Alice in Blunderland" adapted by our two lesbian English Teachers (cue them telling the girl playing alice to be more butch - but thats for another QOTW), anyhoo, Bunny was picked to play the part of an executionist. This was probably due to the fact he was fucking huge and to the people that didnt know he was as soft as shite, looked a bit scary. He had no lines and had to just stand there and look menacing for 2 minutes before bowing when the king said "Off with his head".
When his cue came, Bunny leaned forwards and honked forwards into the leather mask (lezza teachers again) he was wearing causing lilt smelling vomit to spray out of the eye-holes and shower the lord and lady mayoress.
Despite this moment of pure unadulterated comedy, it is not what Bunny is best remembered for. The first ever PE lesson in 1st year ended with a shower which we hadn't had to do in Primary school. When we saw Bunny naked he was hung like an acorn, and a small acorn at that. Even at the age of 9 the rest of us lads had at least some well ahem length and girth. When questioned (something along the lines of - "Hey Bunny why is your dick so tiny"), Bunny uttered the words "My sister bit the end of it off". Amazingly nobody ever asked why she had it in her mouth and what had caused her jaws to clamp shut. It was true though, his sister was 2 years above us, and 3 of us asked her one lunchtime. She told us she was "glad she did it". Holy Ferhuckers!
Bunny disappeared from my life in 1988 when he went to a different High School, I often wonder if he ever managed to have a sexual relationship, and whether he told his partner the same sad and sorry tale.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 4:18, Reply)
The above phrase will be remembered by anyone who attended Mountbatten Junior High School in Hull between 1983 and 1986. It was uttered by the immortal Peter Bunn, huge beast of a boy who regularly attended Weight Watchers and frequently came to school with a fruit platter for being "Slimmer of the week".
Every Xmas the 4th years would do a pantomime, and when our turn came we did "Alice in Blunderland" adapted by our two lesbian English Teachers (cue them telling the girl playing alice to be more butch - but thats for another QOTW), anyhoo, Bunny was picked to play the part of an executionist. This was probably due to the fact he was fucking huge and to the people that didnt know he was as soft as shite, looked a bit scary. He had no lines and had to just stand there and look menacing for 2 minutes before bowing when the king said "Off with his head".
When his cue came, Bunny leaned forwards and honked forwards into the leather mask (lezza teachers again) he was wearing causing lilt smelling vomit to spray out of the eye-holes and shower the lord and lady mayoress.
Despite this moment of pure unadulterated comedy, it is not what Bunny is best remembered for. The first ever PE lesson in 1st year ended with a shower which we hadn't had to do in Primary school. When we saw Bunny naked he was hung like an acorn, and a small acorn at that. Even at the age of 9 the rest of us lads had at least some well ahem length and girth. When questioned (something along the lines of - "Hey Bunny why is your dick so tiny"), Bunny uttered the words "My sister bit the end of it off". Amazingly nobody ever asked why she had it in her mouth and what had caused her jaws to clamp shut. It was true though, his sister was 2 years above us, and 3 of us asked her one lunchtime. She told us she was "glad she did it". Holy Ferhuckers!
Bunny disappeared from my life in 1988 when he went to a different High School, I often wonder if he ever managed to have a sexual relationship, and whether he told his partner the same sad and sorry tale.
( , Sat 20 Jan 2007, 4:18, Reply)
This question is now closed.