worstband eva
got to be siege siege sputnik
way back back in the misty hallows of my mind well 87 if you want to be picky a rock/punk/anarchist/mime* etc burst on to the scene like alien out of hursts chests with a catchy tune or too during the spring summer that year as i recall they all had big hair some had stockings over there faces and none could sing or play or mime to the backing track they ended up believing the hype and tried to sing/play live but failed miserably **

*delete as applicable
** may contain traces of truth and or fictitious lies and untruths item/s described may or may not have happened any traces of reality are liable to cause hallucinative effects may contain nuts
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:37, 4 replies)

Beethoven.
Deaf German twat.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:29, 3 replies)

Rather than just slagging off someone popular:
ABout ten years ago, I had an early mid-life crisis after Mrs.ScousersPet dumped me and started going out with a 17 year old lass with an arse so tight you could bounce pennies off it (that last bit is not relevant, I just felt like boasting). She used to drag me to a pub in Liverpool every Monday night to see the latest shit band one of her mates was in, all with "witty" names (Zombina and the Skeletones, anyone?) and no musical ability. So I saw some really shit bands over the few months I was seeing her.

The best / worst were a group of 15ish year old lads, in really awful corpse-paint - one clearly hadn't got the "black and white only" memo and had got his mum to have a stab at doing the Ziggy Stardust lightening bolt on his face - and with zero tallent. I think they were going for somewhere in between Rammstein and Slipknot, but just ended up sounding like they were tryting to play different tracks, all while falling down the stairs.

Highlights included:
the drummer counting them in and no-one actually starting to play
them all finishing their first song at different times
a "Bad News" moment where the bassist and the lead guitarist had a near-fight over who's amp should be loudest
their second drummer's entire role in the band being hitting an empty beer-barrel with a variety of hammers - but him not having the stamina to "play" for an entire track. Made a little bit funnier by the fact he's last less and less of each track as he got more and more tired.
the "main" drummer managing to whack his hand against the edge of one of his drums and stopping playing while he held his hand and cried a bit
no-one noticing that the lead singer's mic had cut out half way through one song, so they carried on regardless
one of the band's mum doing a weird "flower-child on acid" dance in front of the stage for their entire set, even when they weren't playing

By the end of their set, I was laughing so hard that the young lass didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening. No great loss, I wasn't with her for her sparkling conversation.
(ScousersPet, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:27, 5 replies)

Glasvegas
Dull, dour, droney.

I just don't get it.
(hutchers, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

any so-called RnB group since the genre went downhill.
good RnB: just take a look at the soundtrack for the blues brothers.

pathetic corruption of the genre: pretty much ALL modern entries to it.
(venort apparently exists, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:07, 1 reply)

Elton John
I know he's a really clever musician, who can technically knock the socks off of just about everybody who has ever been in the charts, but god he's a tedious little pratt.

All this pretentious French Palais lifestyle, the flowers, the prima donna divaesque arrogance, just makes me want to punch the fat little bastard in his pudgy little face.

Not the worst ever, maybe, but a complete fucking cunt.

I Thank you.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:54, 1 reply)

Surfaced too fast
Worst bends ever.
(roysin, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:54, 2 replies)

Belle & Sebastian
I notice that no one has yet mentioned this collective of pretentious twattery, yet. So I'd like to be the first.

Logically then, I think they're a bunch of twats. And in similar vein as a few other posts, they've proved the "inspiration" for countless other ball-less rock bands, often gimping on about how their shoes have made the words in their favourite Salinger novel look odd, or how they got picked on once in primary 4 for having wet themselves in gym, or some such shite.

A "good" Glasgow band apparently, they've certainly fecked it up for anyone else from up here.

However, I do like how the lead singer/writer has now seen fit to include numerous references to his omnipotent fictional figure of choice in recent output, which at least gives me some justification for requesting my wife to not try and brainwash my son into the cardigan wearing scenesters that amount ot their fan base.

Additionally, they're my wife's favourite band. My least favourite. This has perhaps unsurprisingly led to a few tortuous gigs I've "had" to attend. And resulting arguments. Hey ho.

At least I don't need to go anymore...
(NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:45, 4 replies)

Can I nominate
those black turtle neck wearing tossers that 'play' using Iphone apps?
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:42, Reply)

George Michael
"I gotta have faith" BANG! BANG! New rule George. You've got to have talent.
(John_Bonham's_snare gave you tinnitus on, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:42, 7 replies)

Newton Faulkner
I can't be doing with a white man with dreadlocks noodling about on a guitar and tapping it with his fingers whilst gurning like the wicker man.

John Smith doing the same thing however is cool...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToGK06dx_eQ
(penrose your dog's got tits, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Who's on my musical shit list?
Anyone that's busy complaining about music they don't like in this qotw. We're fortunate enough to be alive in a period when you can access a stupendous amount of musical history, literally at a push of a button. There are thousands of internet radio stations catering to the most obscure tastes, myriad download sites offering a multiplicity of genres and a veritable shitload of dedicated music channels on the telly. It were all fields in my day.
Unless you're a fifteen year old whose self worth is entirely predicated on being cooler than the other spotty twats in your class (ostentatious displays of cultural preferences being a convenient substitute for a functioning personality and all that), stop fucking moaning and listen to what you like. It's hardly fucking difficult to find.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:05, 12 replies)

Hmmm, twisting the definition of band
to be a group of people singing, in which case I'll submit 'people singing happy birthday', because in 99.9999% of cases, the singers will change key halfway through when they shouldn't, at least once.

At the word birthday in the third line, "Happy BIRTH-day dear thingy, it jumps a full octave. Most people can't or don't realise and will sing something else, it averages out at about a major 5th and they will then sing the rest of that line in that key, and then the last line in some other arbitrary key, usually about 2 to 3 tones lower than when they started. And in nearly all cases, they're all in a different key at the end making them sound like a Welsh choir through an opposite-making machine.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:31, 7 replies)

Elastrator
This is likely to be the worst band you'll come across if you're a young male animal. Its a heavy duty rubber band (elastrator band) that goes over the scrotum and testicles of stock in order to castrate them. After a couple of weeks the scrotum dries up and drops off.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 7:29, 14 replies)

Draught Overlords of Tumeric
This band is so bad it hasn't even been invented yet because these are not the worst of days.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 7:03, 1 reply)

To understand all the fuss about Paramore
Just looked up a video and it was full of fucking twilight sequences.

I'll add it to the shit list just for that.
(Archeleus hates cabbage, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 6:30, 2 replies)

[name of your favourite band]
[single sentence stating that they are 'shit' and 'overrated']

Before you write something like this have a listen to my mix of the worst music of all time and see if, actually, you want to be thankful for the merely mediocre.

lastnightadjkilledmydog.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=384592
( Zuowan, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 4:58, 3 replies)

Bob Dylan.
Well, he's okay if you're into that sort of thing, but he's no Lady Gaga.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 4:56, 1 reply)

Cuntry Music
is shit.
Rap sucks the tit.
R&B has no Rhythm.
Alternative licks the jizm.
Nickelback is a genre alone.
They can go get blown.
Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry
All should suck one big and hairy.
Rihanna and Eminem?
Both should be hit in the quim.
Lil' Wayne, getting the train.
Marilyn Manson, in it for the hype,
I hate the chick from Hanson.
Britney Spears, faghag for the loser queers.
Mariah Carey? I'd rather listen to the Spice called Scary.
98 degrees, N'sync, Backstreet
can beat each others meat.
If it's been missed, don't be pissed.
Just add your own.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 4:35, 2 replies)

I know this isn't exactly the right forum...
But can I just say that came on to read last week's "person of the year" QOTW and was TERRIFIED.




...yet somehow flattered.
(schnuff, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 3:22, 3 replies)

We had high hopes
I was seven he was eight
What a pair of maestros we would make.

With electric drums and a wireless keyboard.
We would entertain masses, here and abroad.

But alas our youthful hijinks had gone arwy
Our woeful mistake brought tears to our eye.

We wanted music to bring you to your knees
But in our haste we forgot the batteries.
(shake'n'bake Tally Ho, Biatch!, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 2:31, Reply)

The cunting, bastarding Glee band.
Something which is purely an exercise at ripping as much money out of belming twats as is humanly possible without actually just going to their house and stealing all their shite is fair enough. They'll only spunk their money on other useless crap. At the last count (according to our good and ever reliable friends at Wikipedia), there are four main albums, two EPs, a Christmas album and a '100 song collection' from THE FIRST FUCKING SEASON ALONE which have been unleashed on idiots which buy that wank. They have sold thirteen million singles electronically.

Why, then, in the name of sweet tittyfucking christ, should they be allowed to rape the radios of sane people with their fucking disgusting versions of what were already disgusting songs?

Evidence : www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkBk2JUjOSM

If I ever actually met anyone that admitted to liking this festering arse-water version of music, I would actually kill them. I would be consumed by such an all-powerful rage that I would rip their fucking useless ears off and stab the holes with shards of decent records to get the bastarding point across.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 2:16, 2 replies)

What's Got 1000 Legs And No Pubic Hair?
The front row of a Spice Girls concert.

I nominate these talentless halfwits for so many reasons. One of the chief ones being, without the Spice Girls, we wouldn't have had to put up with acres of newsprint and web pages about Posh and Fucking Becks. Jesus, that girl gets on my tits. Posh? My mothers piles are posher than that trout-faced harridan.

Still, at least we did get one good song out of the Spice Girls. A football chant I heard at quite a few Man U matches.

David Beckham
David Beckham
Does she take it up the arse
Does she taaaake it Up. The. Arse!

Zigazig-Ha!
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 2:15, 9 replies)

Jimmy Barnes
(NOT so much Cold Chisel - Ian Moss saved them)
For - doing a John Farnham, saying it was the last (tour/show) ever THEN coming back to stick his snout in the trough.
- unleashing David Campbell & the Tin Lids unto the world. Bastard!!!
- giving bogans something to wail drunkenly too.
& for being alive so that some little scrotes family could win Funniest Home Videos a number of years ago by filming said scrote shouting out "Jinnnnnyyyy Baaaarrrrnes" @ the tv when a Cold Chisel clip was played. *cringe* Fuckers won AUD$10000! Give me someone getting kicked in the balls or falling off a roof anyday.
Yep,that's about it - I'll add if I think of anything else.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 2:14, Reply)

Anything and everything that uses Autotune
Don't get me wrong, I live, eat, sleep and breath electronic music but sometimes technological inventions exist that should have been unplugged at the ideas stage.
( oldpoint is up in space doing important work for NASA., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 2:12, 2 replies)

And to contradict my last post, let's look at the 70s.
The Bee Gees.

KC and the Sunshine Band.

Donna Summer.

Diana Ross.

Disco, I'm looking at YOU.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:59, 3 replies)

Time to get flamed again, I suppose.
I'm not sure if it was Kurt Cobain who coined the term Corporate Rock to refer to the mainstream pabulum bands of the 80s that filled stadiums, but he was the most famous opponent of them. And I have to agree with him on this.

I was in my late 20s when that crap was at its height, with Phil Collins-era Genesis, Lionel Richie, Journey, Def Leppard and the rest of that shit crowd being constantly played on radio and MTV. It was better than Flock Of Seagulls and Spandau Ballet et al, but not by much.

When grunge came along with Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Sound Garden and the other major players of the era I was shocked, then delighted. At last! Something that had some actual feeling to it, something that was fed by angst and raw emotion rather than ratings! Wasn't that what fed rock in the 50s, when people rebelled against the crooners in favor of Presley?

It didn't last that long, sadly, but we did get a few good years out of grunge at least.

So, worst bands of all time? I nominate most of the mid to late 1980s.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:55, 3 replies)

Cowellspawn
All of them
(Ravenous Bugblatter Beast This content may not be working. Please try again., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:42, Reply)

The late 90s explosion of vocal ornament
The Counting Crows
Dear Satan, if I have to hear that register-change in the first syllable of "Mister Jones" one more time...

The Dave Matthews Band
Dear Satan, if I have to hear that register-change on the last syllable of "Satellite" one more time...

The Cranberries
Dear Satan, if I have to hear that register-change on the last syllable of "Zombie" one more time...

Whitney Houston
How many notes can one wring out of one syllable?

Mariah Carey
More than you could imagine!

And since all this horrible melismatic lilting and warbling became a prerequisite for pop artists to add distinction to their bland fare, it seemed logical that a less vocally-capable artist would use technology to augment her voice, so thanks...

Cher
We can't "Believe" the gift of autotune you gave us.
(Ladyfingers is in your wardrobe,, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:30, 5 replies)