William Shatner singing Rocket Man
home.san.rr.com/webshtick/William%20Shatner%20-%20Rocketman.mp3

The reasons? Well, just give it a listen.
Not off of a record, per se, but still quite terrible.
( Sea Urchin Ceviche, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:59, Reply)

The worst record ever, in the history of everness
is: "It's a lie, it's a fake", my Sam Sachs

If you listen to it, I feel that this will probably need no further clarification.
( giblethead2000, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:55, Reply)

Has to be Life by Des'ree
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park,
And there's no-one else around
Ooo I get the shivers,

ok, poor, but only poor start. But theres more *twitch* you'd better believe there's more....

I don't want to see a ghost,
Thats the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast,
Watch the evening news.

As an artist, I fail to see how anyone (excluding perhaps the Spice Girls) could even concieve lending their name to that sack of utter cranberry. You'd expect a 5 year old to come up with better.
(Obi Wan Jonobi, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:51, Reply)

Another band that piss me off
are none other than Good "We're a punk band, honest!!" Charlotte. Punk band??? I mean, come on! Five words for you guys; More 'Busted' than 'Black Flag'...

(Stupid little twunts...)
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:46, Reply)

As it's this time of year...
the Mr Blobbly song almost drove me to kill the DJ when he played it in the nightclub.
Also Wonderwall by Oasis. Brought by people to blind and deaf to realise this is the most monotonous dirge ever recorded.
( mikeyyy, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:46, Reply)

Can I also add to the pile of songs that should be eternally damned...
Loving You by Minnie Ripperton or who ever it was.. yes that one with the high pitched squeal in it...

Reason : I have heard it.
(gothictigger, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:42, Reply)

Those bastards All Saints...
...and the cover/murder of the Chilli Peppers anthem 'Under the bridge'. I have some great memories of around the time the Chillies released the album 'Blood Suger Sex Magic" that featured said song. Its a beautiful song performed by true artists, and then along come some bunch of slappers with faces like slapped arses and murder it. I will never forgive them. Slags.
(Clownkiller, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:39, Reply)

The WORST song ever
has to be 'Hardcore Motherfucker' by Ultraviolence!!! It's just a beepy-beepy dance track with some woman droning the words 'Hardcore Motherfucker' over the top REPEATEDLY!!! That song makes me want to nail people to walls!!!!!!!!!

(And how do I know about this song? My ex-husband insisted on playing it to me - a LOT! And he wonders why he's now my ex-husband...)
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:38, Reply)

must be the Ketchup Song
Apart from anything else it has nothing to do with red soss. Plus it's in a language no one can understand. And even drunk students didn't want to dance to it in the nightclub when it was played. Shite song.
(el pedro, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:33, Reply)

Lionel Ritchie
"All Night Long" and "Hello"

Partly because it reminds me too much of school discos "last chance to pull" records, partly because of that video with the blind girl who does the sculpture (oh God, vom vom vom) but also because for some reason my dad (usually a groovy music person) decided to buy me a copy of Lionel Ritchie's Greatest Hits (You'd think it would be a very short CD) for Christmas.

I opened the wrapping and saw it. I managed not to look horrified. And placed it carefully in the CD collection. When my folks left to go home, it went into the charity bag to go to Oxfam.

My partner of the time thought it would be funny to let all my mates know.

They bought it at the Oxfam shop and gave it to me for my birthday 2 months later. The thing won't go away. It's still there amongst the CDs. Every time I try to get rid of it, all these watermelons go looking round the house and bring it back. I'm going to burn it tonight.
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:32, Reply)

What, no Cheeky Girls?
Actually, I'm not going to bash the Cheeky Girls because A) so many others do it for me, and B) the "Cheeky Song" (or whatever it's called) is irritatingly catchy but certainly not the worst song ever written.

I have several candidates for the Worst Record Ever. These are...

01. Run DMC - "It's Like That"
Repetitive manufactured garbage. How Run DMC can perform shite like this and still have the audacity to claim that they are a real "Gangsta" hip-hop band I'll never know. Every time I hear it I grind my teeth.

02. TaTu - "Not Gonna Get Us"
Oh dear. They started off so well, too. "All the Things She Said" was a bit too poppy for my liking, but I can still appreciate that it was still an emotional and evocative track. And then they follow it up with this dross, a track so bad and so different to their previous hit that it flamingoed up their tour, prompted them to admit they weren't lesbians and abandon the world of pop. For that, at least, we should be grateful.

03. Girls Aloud - "Sound of the Underground"
Ladies, repeat after me: "We are not a Girl Band. Bands are groups of people who can play at least on musical instrument each, and who generally write their own material. Bands produce pieces of music where the group audiably work together to produce a pleasing sound, rather than simply sound like each memeber is waiting for their turn to sing and mug the camera. We fully admit that we were chosen for our fragile fame due to our looks rather than our personalities or talent. We, and others like us, should henceforth be referred to as 'Manufactured Female Vocal Artist Groups", and people of taste and decency should refrain from purchasing our records."

Of course, that's why I don't like the group. But why don't I like the song? Because it adheres to all of the priciples above, that's why. Hands up who remembers a time when musical acts went out of their way to produced a unique sound, and emotionally evocative music? Because there are generations of young people who never will, thanks to happy baby orangutan like Simon Cowell and Pete Waterman. Burn in hell, the lot of you.
(Orin delurked to post this gibberish on, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:28, Reply)

I think that was desree
who sang that shite about 'I'd rather have a piece of toast'. Anyway, you have my vote for worst song......the lyrics to that whole song made me wanna puke.
(Preacher, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:18, Reply)

Gabrielle
im afraid of the ghost
its the thing that i fear most
rather have a piece of toast

nuff said.
(Dan couldnt think of a funny name, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:12, Reply)

Anything
by Craig Fucking David.

God I hate that guy. From his pissy little beard that he drew on himself with biro, to the shitty little beany he always wears because undernearth he's probably got the worst afro since before scissors were invented or a receeding hairline that gives him a 7 inch forehead.

AND the fact he has to mention his own name every 5 fucking seconds throughout his songs because by the time you've got that far in your brain is so badly damaged you can't remember who's singing, what they're singing about or where you live.

All I ask is for 5 minutes alone with him. Just me, him, a 2 by 4 and no witnesses. Actually, sod it - I want witnesses so I can claim my knighthood after.

Grrrraaaaarrggghh!!!

*rant over*
( Weetobix, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:09, Reply)

i've just been clicking i like it
on just about every song mentioned because I thought it referred to the songs. Only now I realise it's probably meant to be a gauge of hilarity. So sorry.

I don't like the cover of Ladies Night by Atomic Kitten. I didn't like the original much either and it's just ruining the succession of good hits that the girls have had.
( Lora, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:09, Reply)

"Oh Superman"
Can anyone remember the artist for this one?

My step sister had the 12" mix and all I could hear from my room was that bastard sampled "ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ...." for about a week.

Ah ah ah ah ... aargh, zzzzzzzzscratch, crunch!
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:08, Reply)

Evanescence
Her first 2 songs , "Going Under" and the other one she had, i forget the name, were really good. Now she has out a new song on the radios called "My Immortal" and I hate it. She sounds a little like 5 sick cows! (maybe just 1 'cuz I exagerate) But if you need any
more reasoning, just listen to either the
single song or the whole record. I also hate the Cheeky Girls. Part of the lyrics of one song are touch my bum, it is life! Does ANYONE agree with me? I hope
that no one dissed Good Charlotte!

It's called Superman and it's by Eminem...youre lucky if she
ditnt have the lp version
( Killerkitti Like my coffee black, just like my metal, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 13:04, Reply)

Youthful indiscretions abound.
Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman (the transcript earlier sums it up perfectly)
Joe Boxer - Boxer beat (yawn, this got to number one didn't it?)
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn, SHE HAS NICE BREASTS, BUT THE WOMAN CAN'T SING!
The Bangles - Eternal Flame (it just plods along, and plods along, and plods along, AAAAARRRRRGGGHH!!!! WHERE ARE MY RAZOR BLADES?)
(they had nice breasts, and they could sing, its just a crap song)
Those acieed techno crap "songs" that just went on for ages
Doop
The Poing Song
etc
-they seemed so good at the time ;-)
( Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:59, Reply)

Anyone remember the scatman?
zeppelin with a big 'tach & the worst single ever. Sounded like he had tourettes but without the swearing. Utter crap.
(diessel, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:57, Reply)

DIDO
I think it’s about time we all joined forces and surgically removed Didos’ vocal chords. Her latest “woe is me, I’m a poor lonely woman” act of audio rape is such a shockingly poor admission that she learned everything about relationships from Hollywood and Mills and Boon, that when I hear it, I become possessed to the point that the radio is smashed open in a vain attempt to rip her out and stamp her to death! No doubt, she is an attractive woman, she could easily go into modelling or become an actress, just leave that miserable attempt at music behind love....it’s just so fucking awful! Thank you
(carlos_gambino, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:54, Reply)

Vengaboys
Any song by them, although I'll go for the Ibiza one. I'd like to tie them to a chair and repeatedly pour boiling water from a kettle on them, then peel off their flesh like a boiled tomatoe. Harsh, but they deserve no-less.
(rubberducky, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:53, Reply)

Buffalos and Red Scarves
I'm not sure if this should qualify for worst record or not. Granted, it's horrible, but it's also dead funny. It's called The World's Tackiest Tunes, and includes such hits as "Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd," and "Your Red Scarf Matches Your Eyes." That should be reason enough.
(kicue, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:46, Reply)

Worst record ever......
For me, it's gotta be anything by Jay-Z or Nelly or whoever. All that "ooh baby, yeah, gonna love my ho all nite long" blah blah whatever stuff...... Very tedious (especially played super-loud from some rood-boyz sooped-up Toyota Corolla 2-litre twin-cam speed machine.......)
(emma_fisi, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:45, Reply)

Bohemian Rhapsody
is the biggest pile of excrement since my pet giraffe had skitters.

I thang yew
( Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:42, Reply)

The Festive Season
always brings with it the worst songs.

I hate Christmas for the simple existance of such songs like:

So Here It Is Merry Christmas - Slade
Well I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday - Roy Wood/Wizard
Christmas Time - Cliff Richard
The bloody awful one by Chris Deburgh about an angel in a spaceship that whines on for about 7 mins too long.

But the worst? The worst is without a doubt
Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time by Wings.
Not only does the tune sound like it was made on a Tomy My First Keyboard but the words are diabolical and I can only assume Linda McCartney put Paul up to making this sack of festive shit. I will gladly kill the first person I hear play this this year. My patience is at an end......
( Mozer, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:25, Reply)

Err...
Thats not Oasis, its by Pulp and called Disco 2000.

Oasis deserve a slating though, so should have let it pass really.
(wethepeople, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:23, Reply)

Imagine - John Lennon
It inexplicably always wins these wretched "best song ever" polls, which really only goes to show that the public love pretentious tree-hugging hippy crap. That's not why I hate it though.

No, the reason I hate it is the breathtaking hypocrisy of Lennon sitting at his huge piano in a huge room in his huge house and singing
"Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can..."
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:18, Reply)

Fast food rockers
Trully awfull!!!!!!

Nuff said!!

Whats next "the wheels on the bus go round & round" hard techno remix.
(bigus_rikus, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:17, Reply)

The Ballard of Bilbo Baggins
With Leonard Nemoy - who still had his spock haircut at the time.

If you've never seen or heared this, look here in the knowledge you will never seen anything this bad again...

www.fredbasset.org/pound/Lord%20of%20the%20Rings.mov

Weet
( Weetobix, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 12:00, Reply)