my personal one would be
Guinness Book of World Records Or Guiness Book of World Records [ Category : ALL 'CATEGORIES' ]

[1]
Worst Fatalities (on movie sets)
Records Category : INDIAN

The fire on the sets of the 1989 shooting of "The Sword of Tipu Sultan" had 40 human casualties. An unspecified number of horses were burnt alive.
( Sunshine Elephant, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:44, Reply)

Coldplay
All of them.
They make me want to die.
But i won't. I'll just repeatedly Punch them in the face.
(kevrobertson2, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:44, Reply)

Singalongamax
I once bought a Singalongamax album, now buying the authentic article would be bad enough, but oh no I got worse.

I actually bought one of those £1.99 CDs out of Poundstretcher, which have sould-a-likes singing on the album, Absolutely dire! And yes, I was drunk when I bought it.
(Grundie, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:42, Reply)

F*cking sum forty f*cking one
all the little poser twelve year olds in hoodies with chains went around and fucking sang this for charity at my school! needless to say the sixth form block had a good laugh.
fin.
(Jimmaw, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:41, Reply)

As has been well document, I am the worlds
biggest Carpenters fan, BUT - Close To You. I fucking hate that song with a passion. It's shit and tuneless.

Sorry Karen and Richard, love you but........Wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaagh ah ah ah ah (don't wanna be) close to you..........
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:34, Reply)

The Maria Carey Christmas Album
The Pariah Carey Xmas album was played on an all day rotation at my sisters house a few years back. My sister, her husband and my father loved it but it nearly killed my mother and I, the next year my Mum threatened to boycott Christmas if she played it ever again. Sadly, the next christmas,it was replaced with Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell video. Mariah ruined Christmas, do you need a better reason.
(birdynumnum, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:33, Reply)

'stand by your man' by tammy wynette
years ago i did some research involving lots of people listening to four songs, one of which was 'stand by your man'... i ran the experiments and spent weeks listening to it over and over again...
as well as being an irritatingly insipid country tune the lyrics are appalling, anti-feminist, sappy nonsense...
it was horrible...
what makes it worse is that all the words seeped into my brain and i still have problems avoiding singing along if it's played in my presence...
this is a very very bad thing...
( eclectech is older but no wiser, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:33, Reply)

get out #3
A friend made a mixtape for me, featuring "get out #3" by pita. It's just an excerpt actually, so I've never heard the whole song, but it's a damn good thing. Said friend says the whole album is like that though. It's a minute and a half of nice soothing stuff followed by about 11 minutes of what sounds like a combination of feedback and static. Don't have an mp3 of it.... fortunately.
(blush, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:31, Reply)

Hard to say if this is the worst song or the best song ever....
... but my nomination would be:

"Where's me jumper?" by Sultans of Ping FC:

Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumber,
Wait a minute, where's me jumper ? ( x5 )

Oh no.
Dancing at the disco, go, go, go.
Dancing at the disco, oh no, oh no, oh no.
Dancing at the disco, go, go, go.
Dancing at the disco, oh no, oh no.
It's alright to say things can only get better,
You haven't lost your brand new sweater.
I know I had it on when I had my tea,
And I'm sure I had it on in the lavatory.
Oh no.

Full lyrics: ping.fishtank.org.uk/lyrics/jumper.php
( TooMuch2AM, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:25, Reply)

De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da by Sting
Obviously anything by Sting is shit, but this song stands above all others as a crime against humanity. I have a friend who loves Sting so much he owns every one of his obscure albums and loves to play the "funny" tracks. I think I may have to smother him. I hate this song so much that I created an account just to post it here.
(Dr. Psycho, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:10, Reply)

Worst Record Ever
"That's The Way It Is" by Celine Dion

"When you want it the most, there's no easy way out" - what the smeg is that supposed to mean? Do these people think about what they're writing about when they glue these lyrics together, or do they just pass around a fresh round of suppositories and say "yup, that sounds trite, that'll do 'er"?!? I've received creditor collection notices with more poignancy and rhythm.

And of course it's Celine "Racoon Eyed Hag" Dion, so you got your instant vulgar crap cred right there. Everything she does has the quality of something that's about to be wadded into a used Tampax wrapper.
(Anxiety, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 1:00, Reply)

Lady In Red - Chris De Fuckin Burgh
How can anything get close to this? This song is so bad it makes me want to cry every time I hear it. People bought this shite. I mean.......I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight.......it makes you want to spew. And then the twunt rhymes "dance" "romance" and "chance" in one verse.
What a nauseating little worm.
(george_w_anker, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 0:52, Reply)

Well, when I first read the question I thought
it meant records in a Roy Castle Record Breakers kinda way. If I were to keep on that theme I'd have to say that my worst record was most number of bulldog clips attached to face which can be found here with a lovely piccie available here (apologies to dial-ups - it's 350kb but don't blame me, I only sent them the pic, they could've shrunk it!)

If we're talking music (which we are) then my first purchase probably tops the bill: the Mr Blobby single. Need I say more?
(afrayed, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 0:47, Reply)

Easy
Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You and Bobby Brown - 2 Can Play That Game.

During my year out I ended up working in the dullest job ever, packing baby wipes. It was boring, repetative, repetative and boring. The shifts were 12 hours long, and mostly at night (because the wages were slightly higher). I was there as a temp, but there were a fair few there who made a living out of this job. This meant that they had control over the radio, and all they'd ever listen to was Radio City, Liverpool's local commercial radio station. I swear they only had six records in total, two of which were the offending articles mentioned previously. This was long before the days of "No Repeat Wednesdays" and the like. They played the above virtually every third song. OK Ms Houston's got a good voice, but this song was just there to show off her range - no passion in it whatsoever. It officially became my worst song ever some time during the summer. I'd been suffering from a lack of daylight, due to the nightshifts. Whitney's voice blasted and wailed from the speaker and I sat down and just cried in front of everyone. Literally. Quite possibly the most honest outpour of emotion I've ever had in public!
( caldini Have you seen my polar bear?, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 0:39, Reply)

So many to choose, so little time
Lets see.....
Spice Girls - any track
Slipknot - any track
Busted - any track
Any Manufactured Crap - take your pick
Euro-pop - see above (Death to eurovision song contest!)
Overall, worst song ever would be wannabe by the Shite Girls, Crickey! What a pile of pap, Do they hear themselves?
(Jambon, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 0:39, Reply)

Worst Record Ever
(A bit of a love/hate song really)
MacArthur Park.
Richard Harris.
(One for the old folks)
So, we have the combination of Jimmy Webb, a fine songwriter, with Richard Harris,possibly the finest actor of his generation.
And what do we get?
A pretentious, overblown, up its own rectum monstrosity of a love song.
"MacArthur Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing melting down!"...eh?
"Someone left the cake out in the rain"...you what?
"I don't think that I can take it, 'cos it took so long to make it, and I'll never have that recipe again! Oh Noooooooo!"...oh get a grip man.
Its bollox. Utter, utter bollox.
(Royal Exile, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 0:01, Reply)

That "Fatman Scoop - Be Faithful" shit
Eighteen samples, 17 of which are non-comprehensible, and 1 which sounds like he has a nasty chest infection.

He's lucky he doesn't smoke. I smoke 20 a day and don't sound like that.

I hate "artists" which just take original artwork and put their stuff all over it.

They could at least ... you know, use the clone and blur tools on it, or whatever it is you use when you bastardise music. Make it much better.

Audible kitten, anyone?
( jola, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:18, Reply)

poo-poo-tinkle-tinkle-parp-parp-oink
free from 'Oink' comic (which, should you require any background, you can read here)

You can download the song here, if the concept of a song featuring the word 'parp' appeals, it's pinky and perky gone wrong with added poo.

me and my friends made up a dance to this to do in front of a school assembly

*cringe*
( 100% kitten better than ever, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:17, Reply)

Tainted Love
Picture the scene:
Rough bar, in rough part of Liverpool.
Gangster landlord dealing in drugs and *weapons* from behind the bar.
Collection of very dodgy patrons with gold watches and huge cigars.
Lots of very pretty young well-kept ladies.

1 Manc accented me, 1 Karaoke Machine + 8 pints of dodgy lager.
Need I say more?
(alfwine buggerbridge, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:16, Reply)

Wild Strawberries - Wrong to let you go
After the ATB version listening to this one is just painful. It's bad enough when it starts, but when it hits the chorus - Ow!
( NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:15, Reply)

I put my hands up 4000 chickens' arses a day
whilst working in a chicken factory at age 17.
I was in the "gibbing" department. Which meant I stood in a room about 10 feet by 10 feet watching a pulley system of upside-down chickens (dead and plucked) swing past me.
Actually, i did more than watch them. I inserted my fist into each one in turn and left behind a small bag of giblets. Not their own original giblets either. Some other chicken's giblets that probably smoked 30 benson a day.
The only entertainment if you could call it that, was a small tanoy-style speaker hanging off a couple of wires in one of the room's top corners.
Radio one. All fucking day. So take your pick... the charts at the time contained the following songs, and as a result, were all played about FORTY FUCKING TIMES A DAY:

Your Gorgeous - Baby Bird
Wannabe - Spice Girls

So these two are the main culprits, but there was some random song by dodgy that i cant remember the name of but definately know the SOUND OF because, like the others, it brings back memories of being elbow-deep in giblets. I can see them now... :( all swinging by in unison... like a headless chorus line of giblet-hungry dancers. *if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends... la la la gibber*

i once lost a entire thumbnail inside one of them. ahh so that's why the plaster's blue.

( biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:11, Reply)

Fast Food Rockers - A Pizza Hut - I agree that it's shite...
...this (along with anything remotely pop-like, but especially this) has to be total aural torture.

The funny thing is, I went out with a lady who really liked things such as this abomination. She had the gall to actually call it 'music'. Fucking dreadful - and these talentless bastards will probably make more money from one single than a jazz, rock or classical musician will make in a lifetime.

Fume over.
(Nardis, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:05, Reply)

Anything by Dido or Coldplay.
Man, do they write depressing durges or what?
( whelkboy is old now, you see, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:04, Reply)

Shit on toast with a side order of piss
Daniel Bedingfield doing that 'She's coming back on Friday'

A shit singer singing a shit song with shit lyrics in a very shit way

My nan heard it on This Morning and said "If I was her I wouldn't go back to him"
(Boss Mew Covfefe does not bargain...it only covfefes., Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:02, Reply)

The Hamster Dance
why is it shit! because it gets into your head and drives you mad! also it must have hidden messages in in somewhere, all those "do, do dah's" must be trying to make you vote tory or something!!
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 23:00, Reply)

The Potter Song by my brother
Hopefully you'll never have heard this and if my little brother had his way nobody else ever will. It was one of his first songs he made using OctaMED for the Amiga way back in 1997/98. He wrote it to take the piss out of one of the kids in his class at school who wanted to be a hardcore DJ for some reason (which appeared to be the trend at the time). The lead vocals are that of a family friend's little so and so called Caroline, who would have been about 8 at the time.

It's absolutely awful. The "music" is grating, the lyrics are shoddy and Caroline's vocals make you want to just burst out laughing (it gets worse when she starts giggling halfway through).

For those that want to hear this "masterpiece", it's here for one week only. Then it's only available if you ask very nicely.
( Zak Canard remembers this place, vaguely, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 22:56, Reply)

Anything by
Craig David, purely because he loves himself more than it's humanly possible to, and it's all shite.

Oh, and owt by Missy Elliott, 'cos she's only got the one background track that she uses on all her 'songs', the latest one being a blatant ripoff of 'pass the dutchie' by Moosikal Yoot. Perhaps.
( witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 22:48, Reply)

Aqua Bats - Magic Chicken
It is the worst song ever created.

When I'm in the mood dude
I get some nuggets and stuff and head on down to the fight
I'm rolling in my wheelchair
Zipping down the hill
I'm screamin' out chicken in the middle of the night.

Or, alternatively, anything by Nikki Webster (e.g. "Strawbery Kisses") for two reasons:
1. A 13-year-old girl should not be singing about kissing, and should not be wearing clothes that would make Britney Spears blush.
2. She is disgustingly, sickeningly cutesy.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 22:43, Reply)

worst ever record
Anything by the Stereophonics because they are just shit and welsh & or any music made in New Zealand,just mind blowing,they think agadoo or the maccarana is class.
(shorty, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 22:38, Reply)

Toilet Love
By Wayne County and the Electric Chairs

on brown vinyl

flip side is "If you don't want to f*ck me baby baby f*ck off"

(You don't believe me do you!)
(Gobshite, Tue 2 Dec 2003, 22:38, Reply)