smell my beard = hanke
what should we do with him?

edit: two days on the naughty step. HA!
( rob, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:50, archived)

hanke?
Who the hell is that
( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)

this one
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=33052
( rob, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)

His profile is like a walk through purgatory.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

hehe.
nicely put, sir.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

IP ban!
Sod the innocents!
( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

The one who was trolling about midwifery.

( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)

Thanks Bob,
I'm glad someone else thought his comments were wank. :)
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

Nae bother.
(:
( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

innit
www.b3ta.com/board/profile.php?id=33052

oh look at that ID number, wayyy too high. a dodgy sort for sure
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)

the xmas poo!
*splitting of sides*
(likeajackhammer, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)

Heh!

( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)

HOT BLACK COCK.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)

kick him in the fuck
and then ban him

/edit or permanently change his sig to "A bit of a cunt"
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)

is it possible to give him a constant "L" plate?
that'd be good
(likeajackhammer, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

ooh good idea
or a permanent troll icon!
( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

that is actually brilliant
a permanent troll icon

in colour

mind you, the might become a badge of honour, like ASBOs
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

on somethingawful the mods can assign sigs to users
so you get ones like "moron" "ass licker" "the dickhead" or "ask me about how I crippled my girlfriend"
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

best forum on the planet

( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

Who is hanke?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)

Dry bumming
WITH MAXIMUM INTENSITY

I always thought that guy was a cunt, so that just goes to prove I know what I'm talking about folks. :P

Oh, failing that - a ban.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)

to the /board with you....
you... you...
fucking...
big...
bald...
hot...
rippling...
sexy...
hunk of a man.... phwaor! :D
(likeajackhammer, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

O_O
*drips*
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:06, archived)

Your sig is inspiring

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

If you sing it to the tune of Sexual Healing
it makes you instantly attractive to members of sexes.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:07, archived)

give us his password
so we can ruin his profile and remove his access to it
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)

he'll hate that, he's been here two years

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Hehe, let's do this!

( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

Of course, he could just send his new password to his email address, but hey ho.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

Not if someone changed the e-mail address in his account

(Pesky Eskimo Gadzooks!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

this

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)

I don't appear to have that option :(

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

It's dragon
Rob posted it before
(Pesky Eskimo Gadzooks!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

no
smell my beard has 'dragon' as a password
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

So does hanke
I checked
(Pesky Eskimo Gadzooks!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

the dumb shit
his password is dragon

the same as the dummy accounts
( Elvis of Nazareth This isn't a sig, it's a fucking liberty., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

Hahaha.
IQtastic.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

so it is
i've never seen the naughty step cat before
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

He'll be no great loss.

( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)

Not many of us would.
Frankly, we should all ban ourselves. Except Glued Eel.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Glued Eel is definately the best one here

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)

Yes.
Yes yes yes.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

Actually I've looked at hanke's profile and he does seem to put some effort into pictures sometimes.
Meh, it's not my board. As long as he doesn't do his blank-posts trick again.
( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

This is probably the correct attitude.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

All hail Glued Eel!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

he's so mysterious
*swoon*
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

I'm thinking Brad Pitt in twelve monkeys.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

I'm thinking twelve monkeys in Brad Pitt.
There's a sitcom there.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

real lol

( Elvis of Nazareth This isn't a sig, it's a fucking liberty., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:04, archived)

oh gosh
a super sexy nutter
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:12, archived)

bum him

( mugatu, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)

Let's rehabilitate him with love and friendship.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

This is a wonderful idea
Once he sees how kind and forgiving we are, he'll surely burst into tears and repent
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

Then we can all go beat the fuck out of some dolphins.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

We could pretend we don't know who the hell he is.
who the hell is hanke?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

He's been around this morning (under that name).
Part of the newb blur.
( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)

Yeah. I just looked.
Seems odd. Why bother having normal conversations and do the board trashing at the same time?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

And yet a two year old account.
Hmm.
( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

My account's somewhere about 2 years old too
but that doesn't make me any less of an idiot at times...
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:05, archived)

Idiot, no comment.
Deliberately making the board unusable, no.
( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:09, archived)

Why can't I spell words like 'usable' any more?
*cries*
( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:10, archived)

you've been using them
too much and now they look all wrong.
try typing "box" every other word for a paragraph. it starts to feel very very wrong as a word after 20 or so repetitions :)
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:15, archived)

Why box would box I box want box to box do box that box?
Once box upon box a box time box there box were box three box bears box. Their box names box were box Mummy box Bear, box Daddy box Bear, box and Baby box Bear. Box they box liked box porridge. Box well box it box is box kind box of box wrong box because box the box word box box box shouldn't box be box there box, but box I'm box still box not box quite box sure box what box oh never mind.
( Newington, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:37, archived)

let him off the hook.
then ban his ass in a months time when he's forgotten all about this.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Send him round to the bash this weekend.
We can use him for one of our 'games'
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Send him on the "Find Maddie" Campaign trail

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Quite apparant
i have already made my feelings quite apparant as to what should be done, but they were apparently 'a bit strong'

quote:
ban him, block his IP, burn his house, kill his parents, piss on their charred remains, then fuck him in the ear with razors, then...dunno...shoot him or somethin
(Total_Waster once pitchforked a dog, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Give him a medal

( Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)

Feature him in the newsletter?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)

Ohhh, I can't wait for the tremendious flounce where he decalirs that his little brother is using his computer.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)

Haha, this.

( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

or he was doing it for 'research'

( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

If you ban him , he will return witha disguise
I say imprisonment in france.
( Damion International - now taking orders., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

Hanke = Hello COCKNOSE!
www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/gif/hanke.gif
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

ha ha ha ha

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

Heheh!

( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

Haha
No wait...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

ban him
we'll be reading about him venting his spleen in some high school shoot out type scenario soon.
and you could do without yet more bad press.
( god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)

yet more bad press?
what news stories have I been missing?
( rob, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

So you've never had a holiday in Portugal then?

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

i'm glad you said that
i couldn't think of anything witty to further pad out this pack of lies.
( god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6725653.stm
(likeajackhammer, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

Bastard wound me up about midwifes too!
Naughty step him for a month.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

Tell the News of the World he has Maddy.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)

Tell the News of the World he *IS* Maddy.

( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:03, archived)

It's Ralph whatsit from the Royal Family and 3 pint s of Lager

( HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

OHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHH ** NEW FEATURE TIME **
You could do some sort of icon/profile thing that people can't edit, that automaticly gives badge-type things....

A bit like Xbox Live Achievments.

** 10 Popular Pages on /talk **
** Trolling and bieng a cunt **
** X amount of people have Ignored **

etc.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)

Those could easily become badges of honour for trolls.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

which is exactly why
we don't share this information in profiles
( rob, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)

Back in my day trolls lived under bridges and ate billy goats gruff.
They stayed well away from the internet, I can tell you.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

Yeah', that's true.
ALthough you could do it for possative things though....

** 5 Popular Posts **
** 10 Popular Posts **
** 50 Popular Posts **
** 1 Mention in Newsletter **
** 100,000 Gaz's **

Prehaps with links too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:03, archived)

nah
JMG will want JMG-mentions in there too...
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:07, archived)

There are a tragic number of saddos who would actively seek the trolling or being ignored 'prize'.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)

This is the worst idea I've ever read
Congratulations.
( Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)

And this would make a great image compo too !!!.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

I quite like this idea,
but I don't want to know how many people have me on ignore. ):
( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

Who said that?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

Nobody has said that,
but I suspect some people must have ignored me.
( Bob Todd whee, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:06, archived)

A stay on the naughty step should be enough.

( gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

there's an ignore button, you know.

( scott,, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 10:58, archived)

true
but he does it under a new name everytime :/
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

Just who the bloody hell do you think you're talking to, m'laddo?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:01, archived)

this 'rob' character swans around like he owns the place.
i blame him for many bad things.
( scott,, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:04, archived)

'ave him!
Always works.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

Make him code
a new /talk /board engine with posting limits per time period per IP, captcha, some kind of better voting system, a more sensible replacement for the 15 threads on Page 1 thing, spam filtering, anti-griefing system and a nice-boobs-o-matic. Then carve the code into his back with a stanley knife, and rinse the blood off with cheap aftershave?

Or, ask him to stop being such a silly little sausage on pain of telling his mum and blocking the entire IP range in htaccess?
(charliek .: idly prodding the mediocrity envelope :., Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)

now i know why i stay on the other side most of the time
i recognise the words but i don't have a clue what you're saying.

thank you for your hospitality.
( god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:05, archived)

Bugger
I go away for a bit and miss his smell my beard nonsense this week

Why only two days though?
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)

Throw him into the bottomless pit of doom!
Or just naughty step him for a while and put ban his IP creating new accounts.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)