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One of these days someone is going to commit suicide live on b3ta due to lolmentals
Suggestions as to who this would likely be and why?

Obviously: Me-chronic pie famine
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:38, archived)
You: chronic pi-ah, bollocks.

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
chronic pie bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
Probably one of the many headwrongs that post bollocks on here.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
Mykeyboy.
Pie overdose.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
They'll find a throat full of unopened fray bentos tins at the autopsy

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
JMG
Not enough people talking about him
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
Who?

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
i dunno.
some random dick.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
Marcus DeSade

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:40, archived)
He'll get his dad on you, he's an internet lawyer you know

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:41, archived)
Yes but he definatly isn't Autism

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE NEED INTERNET LAWYERMAN

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
Marcus DeSade was the last time Friz was actually funny

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
you oxy moron

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
It'll be someone we least expect
Rathen or you
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:40, archived)
You're an artist with delicate artistic sentiments
It might be you.... *strokes chins*
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
MY vote for "least expected"
would go to L-Space.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
good call
or Shambles
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
how would we know they topped them self

would we have to hope they fall forward and mashajwremgiavjikgwhjhik,wH and post message?
Or do some people have a program that will post 'blarg im ded' if they don't refresh within a particular time limit?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:40, archived)
haha, succinct!
i'm totally nicking that
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
I nicked blarg im ded from somewhere else anyway

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
second hand stealery!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
it makes it all perfectly legal

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
actually this is true
in the event of your death, who would tell the internet? Not YOUR death specifically.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
his death will be both hot and plastic
the runes have foretold it
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
If you die
can I interfere with your corpse ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
of course
I'll be dead, I won't care.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
I would seriously hope people from the internet don't turn up at my funeral
in fursuits and trenchcoats
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
If you die
I'll buy a hideous one and come along to eat all the nibbles.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
Anyone can be an hero!

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:41, archived)
Killyourself
doitbecauseofthemassiveirritationofsomethingnotusingtheirspacebar.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
argharghargh

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
Are you a cockney?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
oi!
Don't make me sweep your chimney gov.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
No
encyclopediadramatica.com/An_hero NSFW

It's a hilarious term for suicides
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
you know for a fact that I'm at work
so you make up some fake NSFW link to "prove" your point.
I'm unconvinced.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
The baroness is correct

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:23, archived)
Police Dog
jump into from of a fat person trying to get an autograph from Cher.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
i made police dog a picture
but it's on my computer at home and he never posts out of office hours

woe is me
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
Awww. Send it to Gonzo. I think Police Dog is his internet girlfriend.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
i'll keep waiting
one day... one day
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
I would feed Police Dog some of my leftover Chinese Food
and pat his ears while I watched Hollyoaks.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
Pickle Fairy?

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
Hah don't be silly. Police Dog has got too high an IQ and only flashes his privates by mistake due to not owning any dogtrousers.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
ENTRAPMENT !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
BUT IT'S TRUE!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
I'm betting it'll be Bou
in a ball of flame and fury and Sync-cock.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
They'll be filming 'A Perfect Storm 2' in her vagina and the oil tanker with rupture a gravy vein.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
sweet jesus, the swell!
Paddle for your lives!
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
*SPLOOOOOSH!*
glub D:
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
I'm going to top myself tonight, and write an open letter saying it's all your fault because of the constant bullying
And then you'll all be like "Oh shit, what have I done?" and live the rest of your days out guilt ridden.

Then, one day, you won't be able to take it any more, and will top yourself.

Except I won't feel guilty, not only because I'ld already be dead, but because you're a fat cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
Can I have your nintendo?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Can I have your flat?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
As a Jew you'll be going to hell anyway
SO really, its just a matter of dates with this
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
If Hitler went after people like yourself, he would be considered a national hero.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
What
in the UK?
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
He did go after gyppos and mongs
to be fair to the man.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
About half an hour ago there was a programme on 4 called 'Crip on a trip' (I shit you not)
Basically, a 20 something cripple and his mates went around Europe. They went to see a Death Camp, and one of the guys said it had special meaning to the cripple because he had 'Jewish blood in him'. That and the fact HE IS A CRIPPLE WHICH WERE ALSO KILLED
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
it's the ultimate unanswerable question
what would you rather be, jewish or crippled?
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
either way you wouldn't be doing manual work I guess

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)
you selfish bastard, why can't I have some of the glory of bullying you into suicide?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
How are you comitting suicide today?
I'm getting a rope from B&Q, hoisted over a fresh timber frame (wood came from Placito Timber Building Supplies in Chertsey, you have to try their MDF, it's to die for).
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Oh man, what's your favourite wood?
I quite like Mahogony.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
One of the 'personalities', who form exaggerated personas to mask chronic self worth issues/loneliness.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
So, take your pick. I've hardly narrowed it down.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
ooh, me then!

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
I choose you, team Rocket

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
It ain't gonna be me. I'm fucking tremendous.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
So the entire north eastern autistic contingent?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
WORMULUS WINS!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
Didn't some mong off /board do the decent thing a couple of years ago?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
Yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
Good

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
I always miss the good stuff

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
Me. It'd be death by TOO MUCH SEXY

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
Yours, or someone elses?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
Mine, my own, all mine God damn it.
HELL YEAH.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
You ain't all that

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
she fucking is

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
I've let her sit on my knee.
That's the sexiest she's ever going to get.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
"We tried our best.
We managed to pump out a couple of pints worth from her stomach but in the end, it was too much."
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
Have you ever seen someone feed a bird to make Fois Gras?
It'll be a bit like that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
SEXICIDE

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
Probably Friz, due to lack of attention.
Or Sexface, due to lack of sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
His new nose doesn't help him in his quest at all

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
I'm not going to commit suicide.
Just so you know.

I'll probably die from a climbing accident though.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
don't say things like that
i haven't got the time to follow you around with a crashmat hoisted onto my shoulders
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
How can you commit suicide while typing ?
Your vast fatness has ovewhelmed your brain. You probably just have pie and chips in your head now.

Silly boy.

I wouldnt be surprised if one of the lesser mortals on here will say "OMG LOL ITS 2 MUCH I ARE GOING TO KILL MYSELFS" and then return as a n00b a month later pretending they "heard some kid killed himself on here"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
JMG flying his bi-plane into the centre of the alien mothership
thus saving the human race.

The aliens later complained to the mods.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
pfft :)

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
DOG LAUGH!
I bet it sounds like Muttley.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)
Probably me, due to my accute mental illness.
But if I do, I promise to make it interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:13, archived)