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I just preheated the oven to 200 degrees celcius!
Get the fuck in!
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)
SMASH THE FUCKING MONOPOLY BOARD. WE HAVE A NEW RULER OF ALL OUR STREETS!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)
I'm going to watch the football.
We're winning!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)
who?what?

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)
*punches the sky*

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
uh-oh

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
You've made it angry now

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)
I fisted the sky and made it angry

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)
I would have thought a little action would have made it happy.
who knew?!
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)
I will know for the future
Fisting is a no no
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)
Maybe more Astraglide is needed
Astraglide solves everything
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)
The voice of experience, there.

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)
you can fit a whole vauxhall up him/her...with Astraglide.

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)
precisely
Mary Poppin's bag ain't got nothing on me
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)
*shivers*

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)
No! Mancienne!
What have you DONE!
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
lololol
b3ta.com/links/328595
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)
Sweet idea!
That's inspired me to lay down some banging Mugabeats
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)
Gonna put anything in it?

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)
Always with the doubt!
Don't bring the man down in his hour of need.

I have faith in you, Baldmonkey. I know you can do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)
He can't.
He's just gonna preheat it then let it cool down. It's an oven test.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)
Power!
What are you going to put in it?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)
Fuck all.
I just hate the planet.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)
lol how do you find Will Smith in the snow lol
lol just look up and you'll see him because he's black lolololol
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)
There's nothing funny about being black.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)
Would it be racist to start a band of green and white minstrels?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)
The Leprachauns would throw a fit.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)
Green and black minstrels and use an old gamboy to make all the music.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)
haha, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
and use them as a vehicle to sell chocolate

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
Add a bit of Orange and the Ompa Loompas would have a field day.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)
nah
orange and green is tic tacs, not minstrels
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
Oh yeah, doh!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
I reckon there should be all different coloured minstrels,
and they could have a national championship league.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
smarties you mean?
i'm not sure they have a national championship league though
(I helped save b3ta! well, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)
More black people need to white up and act like narrow minded cunts

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)
now I don't know about that,
that sounds a bit racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
To know that something's racist, you have to be a bit racist yourself,
Racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
hang on,
that means everybody's racist except for racists.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
Correction.
apart from racists who don't realise they're being racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
Ok ok ok, pink up then.

I think it's racist that 'flesh' coloured is 'white'. Do Chinese or Africans not have flesh!?!? FUCKING WHITE CUNTS!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
it is, actually.
that's a very good point.
It's more like a sort of beige, anyway. Not that near luminous orange colour we used to use in primary school.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)
You say that but at alton towers I saw a girl who was exactly that colour.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
they paint themselves that way,
because that's what they teach is normal at primary school.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
I'm colourblind and coloured in people yellow :(

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)
You were ahead of your time.
Matt Groening probably stole your idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
fucking BASTARD!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
It happens to us all.
I was talking about an idea I had in the pub the other day, no doubt someone or other will be producing it in a few months' time. Although it won't bother me much, because I can't even remember what the idea was now.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)
It's not easy being green

(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
There is a tiny bit...

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
I just finished the outline of my presentation!
Get out!
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)
Whoa!
What, gas or electric?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)
E FUCKING LECTRIC

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)
Posh cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)
Have we done this lolarious BBC link yet?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8100953.stm
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
Edinburgh, eh....
*awaits Mykey gags*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
Epic barbecue!

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
You know,
a quick lightning flash might be just the right amount of cooking a cow needs.

*grabs knife and fork*
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
Ladies and Gentlemen
Grab your forks, knives and serviettes, and let us alight to the land of the scots for a slap up meal of singed cow!
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)
Oh no! The football!
What a disaster!
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)
It's not a disaster if you're still drawing.
I'll admit to never having heard of Mancienne though
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
Ironylol
www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_5371581,00.html
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
lol now he'll be suspended for the next game and probably won't feature in any after that!
He plays for Chelsea though, so he's obviously a prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)