I took apart the door of my car to see why the electric window wasn't working
to find that the motor was absent and the glass held up with the sawn-down handle of a shovel.

What bodges have you implemented, Commando style, to ease your way through life?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

Has it never worked,
Or did it only stop working recently?
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

I only bought it a month back
it was one of the "niggling little flaws" that forced the price down.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Leaky toilet + gaffer tape = a few extra days of toilet functionality

( epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

virtually anything can be fixed (temporarily) with gaffa tape

( sleepybinky, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

If it moves and you don't want it to = Gaffer tape
If it doesn't move and you want it to = WD40
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:33, archived)

My friend's four year old came home from the childminders with WD40 in his hair the other week.
It's not as blonde now:(
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:36, archived)

Ha ha!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)

my computer is made out of cardboard and an awful lot of catgut

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

I can't get an erection so I've fashioned my own bespoke "pencil and bit of string" device to add rigidity.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

I know someone who tried to repair a valve amplifier by Blutacking the glass cover back on a valve
while it was plugged in

high-voltage DC makes for great electric shocks
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

fucking hell

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

Bzzzztastic!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

I stitched myself up using Fire Ants

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

My trousers are only held up by my permantly errect willy.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

you mean you popped it into one of the little brass rivets on your Levi's?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

Phwoar

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

Evenin' Jude :)
Did you get my email ok?
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Yes
work was mental today. We may take you up on your offer...I will mail you tomorrow.
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

no worries m'dear :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

cos it's thinner than a safety pin and goes through the fabric better?
/suddenly realises I'm signed up to your Summer Bash

//retracts statement
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Arf

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:33, archived)

Ha ha! Yes! Are you going as well! GET IN!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

I sincerely hope so
I've signed up, and have heard only good things about the Butter's bash.
it's also at a better time of year for me to attend bashes :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

Me too
Trains are all booked and everything!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

excellent, be good to see you again fella

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

IT'S NOT FAIR
I'm not allowed to come as I sign the register for the civil partnership that day...
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

bah, but it's all for the best though,
future life together, and all that :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

At least I'll be seeing a few of you a month or so later :)

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)

Duct tape + glue gun
= hundreds of bodgy fixes in my house.
( chuff monkey I AM him, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

+ many, many hours of sexy fun.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

glue guns,
also for teh gheys
( chuff monkey I AM him, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

When the damp-course failed, I purchased a whole shelf's worth of bog paper and stuffed it in the wall.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

If you'd have added flour
Then you would have nicesolid paper mâché when it had dried
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Indeed.
Hello. As an ex-resident of Donny, do you know what Woodlands (up near Redhouse at the end of the A1(M)) is like as a neighbourhood?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

I have no idea
Does that help?
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)

If, and when I ever get round to writing anything of note, I will dedicate it to gaffer tape
'For holding it all together for me'
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

i'd rather not say to be honest, but the newish wing of great ormand street hospital isn't all that if you scratch the surface
or the british libary, people had yellow, red and black pens to colour in the exposed copper on wires
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

Oooh no, I've mounted signs on the wall in the British library
Drilled holes and everything. Did I nearly die? Wouldn't have surprised me though.
St Thomas' is a bit like that. Maintenance areas are always the worst!
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:38, archived)

you can revitalise the dying buttons of old mice with a bit of card.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

I think they're generally called nipples when you're talking about rodents.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:17, archived)

I can't secure the back of my reclining chair.
So I have it jammed up against a wall.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:20, archived)

I've done the same thing
I do it for comfort and I rest my legs on my bed.

But the plaster on my wall has totally crumbled where I lean on it. Oops.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

There's not much in a house that can't be fixed
using insulation tape, super glue, staplers and wire coat hangers.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:21, archived)

That's how I fixed the last pregnancy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

is this some sort of abortion clinic thing?

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)

My room is a long oblong and when ~i instlaled my projector I built a sort of canvas thing to hang off the fron of the cupboard

( WormuIus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

I lost the top for my Lava Lamp
I replaced it with a deodorant cap
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

the insides of my playstation
are held together with gaffa tape
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

The eject slider on my PS2 is reconstructed from a pencil eraser

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)

nice
very McGuyver
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)