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So
What have you got to offer today ?

Insightful observations ? Witty ripostes ? Engaging anecdotes ?

Or maybe just juvenile whining like a shower of utter, utter cunts ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:12, archived)
I'll be serving up the standard /talkenalia.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:13, archived)
foood??

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:20, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/foood.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:27, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/fooood.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:52, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/grate.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:12, archived)
on behalf of /talk
I formally acknowledge the existence of these images.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:32, archived)
wait...you can see them too? shit.

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:38, archived)
foood

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:16, archived)
You should trademark that.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:17, archived)
The extra "o" is a great idea
Screech from Saved By The Bell called himself "Screeech" when he was begging for money to avoid being homeless as he couldn't use "Screech" thanks to trademarks. So now Kraft have trademarked "food", "foood" is the future.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:30, archived)
Fuck man, it's pissing down.
Me and MiniDedd are about to make cookies. Great stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:17, archived)
foood?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:18, archived)
YES *gold star*

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:34, archived)
i'll be all set up for foood when i go away this weekend

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:42, archived)
I advise you to make them inside the house.

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:38, archived)
notes down

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:43, archived)
Moaning about work.
daydreaming, tea drinking and breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:23, archived)
FOUR MINUTES AND NO ONE HAS SAID...
"BREASTS????????"
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:27, archived)
I wouldn't know how to say it with that many question marks.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:31, archived)
my keyboard doesn't even have that many question marks on it

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:36, archived)
here, have some of mine...
???????????????????????
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:40, archived)
That doesn't
suRprise me.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:41, archived)
i'll probably just keep replying to stuff in a friendly, if dull way like i usually do

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:25, archived)
tl;dr

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:29, archived)
k

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:35, archived)
One arm longer than the other

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:27, archived)
Don't think I've got anything specific to offer
My wife is off out as she offered her services to a friend to "help" build her daughters birthday present play kitchen. Which means she'll do it all for her whilst being plied with tea and funny south african dried meats. how the fuck can anyone under 99 be too scared to build something from IKEA? Christ...
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:29, archived)
i <3 building stuff.
and im better at it than the man, his daughter's scooter has a moulded wheel on backwards so it doesn't slot in so neatly.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:47, archived)
Bulding stuff is easy
how the hell could anyone feel intimidated??

Then again I struggle to understand why anyone would NOT want to work in IT, so I'm clearly wrong somehwere.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:58, archived)
because you don't get paid very much to do a job that will always be a case of "i can't actually know everything and you're probably doing it wrong but i'm not allowed to tell you that you're a tit"

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:03, archived)
Nah, that's user support
stay round the back with the flashy lights and the machines that crush your feet. Much more fun.

I din't think I got paid tooooo badly personally. Thanks for leting me know though!
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:13, archived)
well see you said "work in IT" like there was only one way to work in IT.
if you'd considered all of IT, you might be able to understand why anyone would not want to work in it.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:26, archived)
Well if you do one of those "Get a job in IT" courses from out of off of the telly
then yeah sure, you deserve all you get if you think that is "in IT"
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:32, archived)
erm, those people DO want to work in IT. that's why they take a course.
YOUR POINT IS SHIFTING AND PROBABLY INVALID.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:33, archived)
NO NO I'm just saying that's not IT, just just help desk shit which coincides with computers
big difference

My point is I like clever computery things, so everyone should!
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:36, archived)
...it kind of is IT. Server admin and even programming skills are often involved in the same job as "helpdesk shit"

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:48, archived)
Being a dental receptionist doesn't make you a dentist by association.
it makes you annoying, that's what.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:54, archived)
working in IT doesn't just mean the man in the server room, that's all.
to say it does makes you look like a pillock.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:20, archived)
Ludicrous amounts of energy drinks, and shitloads of work
As I'm off Tomorrow, Friday and Monday.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:30, archived)
What energy drinks?
I do like a nice Relentless. Although I tried a Lemon Rockstar the other day and that was fucking disgusting. one sip. in the bin.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:31, archived)
Relentless makes me think that's what battery acid would taste like.
Monster for me, please
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:44, archived)
Relentless
I tend to drink the energy drinks that make me cringe, means I don't enjoy them too much, so I won't end up going mental and drinking loads of it!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:53, archived)
Well done
I got hooked on them when I was starting a 110 mile drive evey morning at 6am last year. A love / hate thing. Soon went down to the generic litre bottles from Tesco though. That Taurine taste is very compelling.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:56, archived)
Bleeghh
I can't enjoy any energy drinks, I'd rather have tea
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:59, archived)
With 17 spoonfulls of sugar and some added guarana and ginseng
to help you BOOM BOOM BOOM LOOK AT ME I'M ON THE GO BOOM WICKED BOOM BOOM ENERGY ENERGY XTREEEEM BOOM BOOM

sugar
crashhhh
(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:22, archived)
Energy drinks are shit.
Real men drink Irish coffee on a night out.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:07, archived)

on a night out for breakfast
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:09, archived)
Energy drinks - overpriced sugar for people who don't eat properly and fancy some diabetes.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:20, archived)
Energy drinks - cheap sugar for people who don't want to crash on the motorway

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:24, archived)
Those people should be sleeping, not driving

(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:25, archived)
no way, I need money.

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:38, archived)

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(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:37, archived)
Shit shit and more shit
Whiny whiny waah, etc :|
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:38, archived)
Give us an example of all three,
you massive shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:39, archived)
Fixing shit
in the rain, fucking great
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:44, archived)
Fixing shit and whining

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:44, archived)
nothing, sorry

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:47, archived)
OK so I DO have something to kind of offer
Sky launched "Sky GO" this morning.

I built the servers that runs on. My clever work. I designed the networks, the servers, the build systems. I rock.

Beat that. Or call me a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:53, archived)
See, you _do_ have a valid job ! Who's a good Server Admin? YOU'RE A GOOD SERVER ADMIN. Yes you are, Yes You Are, YES YOU ARE !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 9:59, archived)
Enterprise solutions architect
thankyou.

*rolls over*
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:00, archived)
I got an MCE in SA....
What sollution would you employ for John Smith's Aunty who lives by herself in a one bedroom flat in missipipi?
- [Competitor] [Server Software]
- [Competitor] [home software]
- Microsoft ©® Server ©® 2008
- Microsoft ©® Windows ©® Vista ©®
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:09, archived)
The most expensive one they can afford of course
everyone loves M$. Selling Sales courses as acceditations? Never! Mind you, RedHat do that shamelessly too.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:15, archived)
Cunt.
I hope you're happy now.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:05, archived)
If it works then you've helped Rupert Murdoch's evil bid for world domination.
Well done, acid kewpie. Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:08, archived)
World domination as long as it's on an iPhone or Windows
I build a system that doesn't work on my phone or my computer. Nice.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:16, archived)
I am offering the chance to hear the song that has been pleasing me
to anyone reading this by clicking this link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2D7GGkrJPM

or this if you cant use youtube: www.muzu.tv/gb/nerinapallotgwerdbymc9/put-your-hands-up-music-video/954122/
(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:01, archived)
Is she trying to pick up satellites?
that ain't a forehead, that's a FIVEhead
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:08, archived)
well she fucking murdered this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ega_kJQF0GY&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:10, archived)
Sounds fine to me.
A cover version that takes a song in a different direction is doing it right. If it sounded like the original then what would be the point.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:18, archived)
I agree
But she's killed any Passion and desperation that the song is about, and made it a wishy washy acoustic pop number.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:21, archived)
does have that Eva Cassidy thing to it of being very technically good, but bland and empty.

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:23, archived)
There's a reason Eva Cassidy
didn't make it when she was alive and that's cos she was dull. Mind you, Snow Patrol, Leona Lewis, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:34, archived)
We invented a term... "Doing a Snow Patrol"
I hate saying phrases like this, but they used to be excellent, first album was great. then they did what they did.

Then Biffy Clyro did a Snow Patrol. Ugh, they used to be great too.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:37, archived)
Do you read NME?

(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:25, archived)
nope.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:28, archived)
pleasant enough
(pleasant = dull)
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:18, archived)
really?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:28, archived)
yes

(thediscokingpin, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:30, archived)
cool

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:31, archived)

that's quite fun, I like how the choreography in this video has managed to find the small moments of synchronicity and grace in the everyday, and enlarged them into a dance in which everyone is a dancer, just for a moment, in order to sell product, and I like how carol vordeman doesn't have too bad a singing voice, bit of a self-conscious mover though isn't she, maybe we can get someone else in, still at least we didn't have to crawl out far from the london media shitcunt stone we live under to film this
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:42, archived)
well I hated that
but each to is own
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:56, archived)
Careful with thoughts like that
that's how WWII started.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:57, archived)
It's also how it ended, so I'm not that worried

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:59, archived)
I'm offering you the oppurtunity to own a 50% share in a holiday property
in an upcoming development in the Ukraine. Contact me personally and forward a deposit of £5000 for this once in a life-time opportunity.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:06, archived)
I'm not going to be posting anything today

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:12, archived)
I'l be offending someone at some point.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:37, archived)