yeah anyway

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:56, archived)

this is a new thread

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:57, archived)

it sure is

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:01, archived)

It's now got added ME!
What a result!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:35, archived)

AW-RAAAAGHT

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:38, archived)

Ordered some bamboo the other day, to put in planters at the front.
Only bit of the garden that's overlooked, should make a nice screen. #gardenchat
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:59, archived)

it grows really fucking quickly
#gardenchatisthebest
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)

Yeah, we've got heavy duty planters ordered and I'm ready to hack away at any rhizomes that escape.
Looking at getting a Japanese Hori Hori knife, like some sort of insufferable garden implement ponce.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:06, archived)

Hori hori, they're selling out fast!!!
ah ahaha ahahaahahahhah
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:10, archived)

this is better than the joke I was thinking about making

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:11, archived)

jesus, yours must have been truly abysmal

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:16, archived)

it wasn't even fully formed in my head
some sort of a pun on hori and whores
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:18, archived)

That's a hoary old joke to make, you should be ashamed.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:21, archived)

heh

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:21, archived)

I can only think of a racist one
about making Christmas wreaths.
(Funge Sat, Wed, Tue, Wed, Tue, Sat, Mon, Sun, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 19:42, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:12, archived)

*brb racism klaxon*
/ac
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:14, archived)

Hang on, I'll just put it on mute.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:07, archived)

brb, I mean.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:08, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8299413
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:42, archived)

best one is the one the ancient chinese used to impale ppl

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:20, archived)

Waaaay ahead of you.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:30, archived)

You'll be over run with pandas within a week

( mongychops, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:01, archived)

more pandas than a female poster on b3ta

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:27, archived)

What was the plant that was famously a mark for swingers to have in their garden?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:11, archived)

Pampas grass, I believe.
That's why we're putting the bamboo up, to hide the pampas grass.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:25, archived)

Smart

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:28, archived)

I heard if you put bamboo up, you get chinky swingers, jussayin

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:44, archived)

UH OH THERE GOES THAT KLAXON AGAIN

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:44, archived)

alright mate

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:42, archived)

fuckmywife broccoli

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 15:35, archived)

bamboo topiary animals and a hedge maze
(dribble, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:25, archived)

morning, realised I 'sniffed the bovril' earlier, I've turned into a bovril sniffer in my old age

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:00, archived)

you know what they say m8, 'once you've sniffed bov, you never go ov'

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:04, archived)

this is true actually, I haven't gone ov once

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:05, archived)

I went ov earlier - but then I've never sniffed the bov so it still holds true
'they' really do know what they're on about, eh
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:08, archived)

I freebase it, m8.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:18, archived)

I stick it under my eyelids

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:38, archived)

Japseye or GTFO.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 15:47, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8299408
(dribble, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 16:50, archived)

I see your stalker was back

( mongychops, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:09, archived)

only the coolest people have a weirdo obsessed with them, it's actually a badge of honour

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:11, archived)

well done

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 10:57, archived)

he gets locked out, but he signs up again, we're never gonna keep him out

clicking the niiight awaaay

etc
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:46, archived)

Hi there dude.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:11, archived)

heyyyy

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 11:43, archived)

I only went and got the fucking job
I start Saturday morning at 7
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:07, archived)

Good stuff

( mongychops, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:16, archived)

When for the 12 hour shifts instead of the 8th
That gives me 3 days off a week
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:25, archived)

v wise

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:11, archived)

Prossies have interviews now?

(dribble, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:33, archived)

nice one
do you get free sushi now?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:46, archived)

Sadly not
But according to the interviewer, I'll go off sushi pretty quickly working there
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:41, archived)

there was a Bendick's (lol) chocolate factory (lol) in Winchester
they let the staff help themselves so that soon enough they just stopped eating them - but they didn't reckon on this lad Darryl and his gf who got jobs there, they were about 40 stone between them, and after a year or more they were still troughing away...the firm prolly went bust
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:49, archived)

so that's where the expression "eat a bag of dicks" comes from

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:51, archived)

correct

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:57, archived)

congratulations m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 12:57, archived)

Thanks

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:42, archived)

congrats

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:08, archived)

Ta

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:42, archived)

noice

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:21, archived)

Cheers

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:43, archived)

mrs q just got her 2nd jab too, today is a good one eh

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 13:58, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8299440
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 14:33, archived)

Good to hear. I just shared my relief at being fully vaccinated with one of my cousins. Apparently she “supports freedom of choice” and seemed to consider my text a personal criticism of some sort.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Apr 2021, 4:48, archived)

people are dicks


The Doors'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 16 Apr 2021, 8:55, archived)

Congrats

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 21:50, archived)

Thanks

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 22:30, archived)

Hello all!
Lovely day. What's the plan?
(Nope, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:06, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:16, archived)

Chin chin

(Nope, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

To ask if you have a brother called Juan

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:16, archived)

I'm not sure that's any of your business
Hello!
(Nope, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

probably being mentally ill on the internet and getting banned for the millionth time as a result


Oh, you mean my plans?
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:36, archived)

Work, as usual.
Hello! What's your plan?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:37, archived)

OK, be like that then, see if I care.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:47, archived)

Well! That was short-lived!
Lol!
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:49, archived)

My plan is simple and secret.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 14:09, archived)

And it appears to be working!

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 16 Apr 2021, 14:43, archived)

morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)

it's my 4th wedding anniversary
how things have changed :(
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:12, archived)

lol gay

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:23, archived)

shut up you fucking stupid fucking cunt
thanks in advance
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:30, archived)

^ upset

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:48, archived)

popular page crew represent

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:20, archived)

I’m going into the office
This is very exciting!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:24, archived)

wowzers, it sure is!

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:33, archived)

Morning
Just getting ready for my interview
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:33, archived)

best of luck m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:42, archived)

All the best!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:47, archived)

Break the spine of English superiority!
Oh sorry, I mean a leg.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:35, archived)

Morning

(Nope, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:56, archived)

welcome to the internet's hidden cesspool
morning
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 8:59, archived)

Hello! Thank you!

(Nope, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:02, archived)

morning
also urgh
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

afternoon
just booked an outdoor lunch with jr for Saturday in Greenwich, and mrs has her second jab booked for tomorrow, good toimes

how r u lol
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 12:33, archived)

Good, good
Might dye my hair later, it really needs doing. I'm down to my last tube of blue dye, though
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 12:43, archived)

we've saved a fucking fortune in lockdown on my wife's hair
she's dyed it herself and cut her own fringe instead of going to a salon in Shoreditch once a month
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 12:49, archived)

i can't find my dye anywhere
i'll have to resort to schwarzkopf at 4 times the price
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:29, archived)

rub your head vigorously with a Smurf

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:53, archived)

alas, i am sans smurf

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:29, archived)

I can never keep up with these trendy new fonts.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:17, archived)

I wonder if they still use cartridge pens in schools

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:06, archived)

cartridges are for bullets

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:59, archived)

bullet record player
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:10, archived)

*agrees*

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:48, archived)

good afternoon
chicken skewers for lunch

elbow rehab's coming along nicely

overall thumbs up
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:07, archived)

veg soup and sourdough here, worthy but hardly thrilling

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:12, archived)

My early shoots on Wednesdays are over, damn you covid 19 vaccines

( mongychops, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:14, archived)

bastards

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:11, archived)

I've not been to a hairdresser since about 1997
fucking creepy weirdo. Never going to one of those places again. They can fuck right off.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:21, archived)

bald headed wanker

(Tony Shithouse, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:34, archived)

I rocked a skinhead when I was about 12
always liked the look.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:55, archived)

When I was about 12 I went to a new hairdressers
Asked, as always back then, for 'short back and sides, three on top, leave a fringe'. Ended up looking like fucking Ronaldo.

What made it even worse was a big kid at school who was already wearing a terrible haircut like that who thought I was trying to copy him. Almost explained "there's no way I'd ask for a haircut like that, it looks terrible" but somehow caught myself at the last second and avoided a beating.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:04, archived)

The only shaven one in my class grew up to be a rapist.
Then one day broke his back. He didn't like it.
(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:18, archived)

Those things are DEFINITELY connected

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:22, archived)

What little hair was left went just before the event, probably had some idea about not leaving his dna at the scene
but then chucked a load up her unprotected

He wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box
(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:27, archived)

Alright Fairbrass

(Rob Manual, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:18, archived)

Crystal maze, member?

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:28, archived)

I've paid for no more than 3 haircuts in my entire life

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:08, archived)

Is that because in some reverse Sweeny Todd move
you've killed and eaten 74 barbers?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:40, archived)

I couldn't possibly say

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:20, archived)

When you kept stepping on it, you thought "now's probably the time"

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:15, archived)

ages 3-14 - parents paid
14-20 - no haircuts
20 - paid for one haircut and then bought clippers
30ish - stopped using clippers, had a couple of cuts whilst re-growing it
32-now - perform the odd trim here and there

??????

PROFIT
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:23, archived)

You wait until they're done, then you leg it?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8299325
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:10, archived)

Afternoon
To burnish my wanker food hipster credentials I'm really getting into pork and gochujang sandwiches at the moment. Highly recommended.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:56, archived)

I am a gochujang obsessive also
I have also just got some gochujaru in order to further my Korean wankery
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:10, archived)

but do you make your own kimchi?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:30, archived)

I don't really like it
#koreanfail
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:13, archived)

Is gochujaru just Korean for chilli powder?

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:56, archived)

chilli powder made from Korean chillies
totally different colour and flavour from, say, Kashmiri chilli powder
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:18, archived)

The sweetness comes from the starch of cooked glutinous rice, cultured with saccharifying enzymes during the fermentation process.
The sweetness comes from the starch of cooked glutinous rice, cultured with saccharifying enzymes during the fermentation process.

It has commonly been assumed that spicy jang (장; 醬) varieties were made using black peppers and chopi before the introduction of chili peppers.[citation needed] Shiyi xinjian, a mid-9th century Chinese document, recorded the Korean pepper paste as 椒醬 (lit. 'pepper paste'). The second-oldest documentation of pepper paste is found in the 1433 Korean book Collected Prescriptions of Native Korean Medicines.[6] Pepper paste is again mentioned in a 1445 medical encyclopedia named Compendia of Medical Prescriptions.[7]

I didn't copy this from wikipedia
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:50, archived)

I might start scattering citation needed into work emails, see if anyone notices

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:04, archived)

No m8 because no one is reading all that shit you type

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:04, archived)

trivia of the day: glutinous rice is gluten-free

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:09, archived)

They're putting glutens in the water now though, and aloominum

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:16, archived)

Going to the pub in a bit, WOOOOOO!!!!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:20, archived)

congratulations m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:18, archived)

I'm literally in a literal pub!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:32, archived)

What are the toilet arrangements nowadays if you're supposed to avoid going indoors

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:42, archived)

piss on the petunias, or shit in the shrubbery

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:51, archived)

Loggin on the lawn

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:59, archived)

slash in the ash
+tray


best I can do here, soz
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:12, archived)

Crap on the counter and onanate into the optics

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:51, archived)

There's outdoor bogs, since it's an Elizabethan manor house.
Handily enough.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:06, archived)

My most vivid memory from an age 10 france school trip was open air unenclosed public urinal troughs
everyone walking past could see, you might as well be pissing against a wall

I suppose ladies have to just hold it in
(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:42, archived)

There is a pop up urinal booth just opposite charing cross station in london. Only one I've ever seen in the uk, it doesnt work properly anymore, but it is handy before you get on a train.

( mongychops, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 19:16, archived)

I'm intrigued and now trying to find it on street view
not having much luck tho
(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 19:29, archived)

^Cottaging tourist

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 19:58, archived)

YESSSSSS

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:12, archived)

busy and a little out of my depth

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 14:53, archived)

both of those are good things
you'll get the hang of it all soon enough I'm sure
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:19, archived)

start off in the shallow end
just don't piss in it
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:28, archived)

Now you tell me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 15:36, archived)

I'm gonna be getting into some al fresco boozing on Sunday, I fully expect it to be sunny with lots of smiling ladies wearing skimpy clothing

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 16:52, archived)

supposed to be nice from Sunday for the following week m8
happy days
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 17:14, archived)

supposed to be nice from Sunday for the following week m8
+onday
(Rob Manual, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 22:24, archived)

ooz umm
ie
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 21:16, archived)

tired. new job = very busy

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 18:00, archived)

Morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 7:29, archived)

morning
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 7:33, archived)

Nice morning?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 7:40, archived)

sunny 0 degrees

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 7:47, archived)

Good morning
cba today
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 8:54, archived)

And it's *only* Tuesday too

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 8:58, archived)

I actually thought it was Tuesday for a minute earlier, so you're not helping

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:07, archived)

morning g, fuck yeah wednesday

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 8:59, archived)

It's still a bit Tuesday though isn't it?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:30, archived)

morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:11, archived)

You feeling better after yesterday?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:31, archived)

much improved, ta

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:25, archived)

There's a sneaker thing starting at the design museum just after the pubs open fyi

( mongychops, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:40, archived)

excellent, I'll be all over that, ta

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)

Morning
Reading a BBC news story about the Queen, and came across this sentence:

The Earl Peel announced he would retire as Lord Chamberlain last year, with his replacement Andrew Parker, a former MI5 chief, beginning in the role just over a week before Prince Philip died.

COINCIDENCE??????????? WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!!!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:16, archived)

You think they faked Phil's death so he could take over as head of MI5?
If I were Megan Markle I'd not be taking any drives without a seat belt right now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:32, archived)

That's not what I was thinking, but now you say that it's much more plausible.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:46, archived)

i.imgur.com/r0JcxZU.jpg
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:36, archived)

actual lol

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:50, archived)

Pfft!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:01, archived)

finally, THE TRUTH

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:04, archived)

can confirm

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 11:21, archived)

I do hope he remembers to open each one up and remove the tracking device

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 12:17, archived)

Before Big Game descend on the area with the highest signal concentration

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 12:19, archived)

When enforcement officers try to prevent you from lawfully taking your duck(s), ask then whether they are operating under common law or maritime law, DO NOT say you understand them. Adv you are a sovereign citizen, then take their hat.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 14 Apr 2021, 12:39, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/99401/1618401913/duck.jpg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:05, archived)

lol

(dribble, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 13:55, archived)

morning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:46, archived)

Hi

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)

morning g to the ary

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:50, archived)

s'up bro

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 9:54, archived)

I don't know what day it is any more

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)

Look just to the side of your name
It has the day right there
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:22, archived)

Gosh. Thanks!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:38, archived)

Tony Shithouse

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:23, archived)

Cheers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)

b3ta

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 11:58, archived)

This raised a smile after a shitty day
youtu.be/UqGsbYSZjl0

Evening
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 18:45, archived)

alright
having a bit of a sad day here, me and Nat Sherman (cigar) are waiting for the sun to reach the deck, going to sit out there and smoke tobacco and drink cider.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 18:50, archived)

youtu.be/caMIkwTPBwA
( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 19:06, archived)

Jack Herer fixed me up

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 21:43, archived)

that works almost too well
dare I say...it's a banger
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 19:08, archived)

Vg

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 20:17, archived)

Ŵėęēêèéëŷūùûüúìįíîïīõøōœòôöóāãåæâàáäłżžźxčçćsšßśñń
,you mean
(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 22:50, archived)

Actual footage of McBeef's duvet when he lets rip with his morning guff:
imgur.com/gallery/7ALG2q7
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:12, archived)

Actual lol!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:15, archived)

I shared that with you in confidence, m8 :(

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:16, archived)

You should be proud of it, mVIII, it's spectacular!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:03, archived)

That's what happens when you have cauliflower cheese for supper

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:33, archived)

yes!
socially distanced interview/induction thursday morning
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 15:59, archived)

Nice one

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 16:34, archived)

apparently, it's almost a dead cert
but i'm not counting my chickens just yet
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 17:08, archived)

Brothel bouncer and poultry admin, that's quite a CV you're building

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 17:21, archived)

to misquote Shakespeare, the pay's the thing

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 17:27, archived)

VG.
I've just had my second dose of Covid vaccine, I believe I'm contractually obliged to tell everyone.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:24, archived)

Braw , have chips with that

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:29, archived)

+ Bill Gates' micro-

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:31, archived)

They should give the jab a version number, so you can look up what you're protected against
Firmware update to be released in two months to cover the brazil variant
(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:32, archived)

Seems the south African version is ready to explore London

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:35, archived)

I do keep hearing about one that puts under 40s in hospital
if it starts doing the rounds here telling everyone to go out for cheeky nandos before youngsters get jabbed is going to feel a bit premature
(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:38, archived)

Three, that's the magic wave

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:39, archived)

What we could do with now is a bit of hysterical overreacting to a statistically insignificant risk with the most widely available and practical vaccine
to discourage all the under 40s from taking it
(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:29, archived)

Funny you should say that, because as luck would have it...

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:31, archived)

It's all part of the plan to eliminate the useless workforce from our population
leaving the over-70s to destroy the planet in peace.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:41, archived)

who are mainly responsible for the planets destruction

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:43, archived)

how is babby formed

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:47, archived)

Reminds me of this

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 18:27, archived)

damn you, Townshend and Daltrey!

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:04, archived)

He'd have gotten away with it if it wasn't for meddling with those kids.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 14 Apr 2021, 6:34, archived)

Horton should have let them die then

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:40, archived)

New Seuss?

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:53, archived)

Seuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuss

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 14:34, archived)

Going back to that shit resident evil movie marathon for a second,
umbrella's "master plan" to solve overpopulation was to freeze a bunch of old people and kill off everyone else, then thaw themselves once all the zombies are gone. Well yes, that certainly would stop overpopulation ever being an issue again.
(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:53, archived)

maybe you should try to forget about those films m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:14, archived)

Motherfuckers act like they forgot about RE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:20, archived)

Think I'm more angry that they even exist
rather than that I wasted hours watching them
(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:22, archived)

Ada Wong lezzing it up with Claire Redfield y/n

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:52, archived)

Cor!

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:55, archived)

Y OR FUCKIN N M8

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 14:02, archived)

it's a big fat Y from me!

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 14:21, archived)

Or is there one already, no idea, not had it

(dribble, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:35, archived)

nice one

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 12:36, archived)

lold

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 14:14, archived)

I'd take a couple of rivaroxaban m8, don't want to end up getting head clots.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 20:57, archived)

I was packing a batch of Fragmin afterwards,
whacked a couple of those bad boys into my eyeballs on the sly.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 22:00, archived)

that bloody snake!

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:36, archived)

morning
Happy candles to broadsword, your b3ta account can now legally buy its own pints
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 6:46, archived)

morning
Ramadan mubarak, everybody
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 7:49, archived)

mubarak -a-ding-dong
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:02, archived)

u make brb angry

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:04, archived)

excellent news

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)

It's nippy today isn't it?
lovely sunny day though. May go for a run later this morning, thinking Greenwich Park.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:06, archived)

Yep, I popped the heating on for a bit earlier
Greenwich is a lovely park - bit vertiginous for running in, though, no?
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:13, archived)

It does take a bit of oomph to get up the hill, yes

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:48, archived)

Do you wave to the deer?

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:51, archived)

Greenwich park has no deers
It has an observatory and a fricken laser.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:57, archived)

Yes it does, you're not local to this area are you

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:10, archived)

Then why have I never seen them?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:22, archived)

Perhaps you dont run past their bit, it's the oldest deer park in london

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:28, archived)

They must be in the top corner
you can't really run past that bit easily
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:44, archived)

Yeah top corner towards maze hill , they tend to herd away from fence anyway, remember trying to see them when my kids were toddlers

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:48, archived)

they're really, *really* small

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:29, archived)

Maybe they can't see because they're...
no eye deer
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:41, archived)

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:10, archived)

The brewery is open and the cutty sark pub

( mongychops, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:37, archived)

I'm not stopping mid-run for a pint of beer.
I'll just do a sick if that happens.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:58, archived)

come on gary, where's yer gumption

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:05, archived)

It's not in the pub
and you can leave my gumption out of this, beef-o,
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:08, archived)

that's easier said than done m8
it's quite...prominent
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:11, archived)

For god's sake man
this pandemic has just destroyed your social skills hasn't it? Where is your tact? If I've got a hard-to-ignore gumption you've got a sub-standard tact.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:24, archived)

I've spent too long in the company of Australians :(

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:28, archived)

have you never done a beer mile?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:09, archived)

morning bs and everyone else

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 8:36, archived)

morning bullshit indeed

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:08, archived)

morning Richard McBeef

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:11, archived)

morning Dozer

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:12, archived)

morning cheers alright whallop

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:12, archived)

here he is, all set for his big day
I hope you've got a fancy shirt on
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:19, archived)

What a lot of candles!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:12, archived)

Morning Queef.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:43, archived)

Tea.

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:09, archived)

Morning
Still waiting to hear about this job
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:50, archived)

good luck m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:10, archived)

Thanks

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:32, archived)

more cash in hand work in an industry based on human trafficking and exploitation?

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:14, archived)

Greencore
It's a sushi factory about 20 minutes away. Absolute piece of piss job with much more money and less travel costs, not to mention shorter hours
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:31, archived)

Sounds a bit fishy if you ask me.

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:33, archived)

A bit whiffy, perhaps
But there's a girl there who gets paid more than £8 an hour to stand and wait until someone fills a tray with sushi, then she picks it up, puts it on a trolley behind her, grabs an empty tray, puts it down and waits for it to be filled
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:36, archived)

minimum wage, gotcha

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:06, archived)

Better than nothing

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:57, archived)

this is almost too much innuendo to handle

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:07, archived)

Ikr

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 11:57, archived)

Tap o' de marnin' to ye

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 9:57, archived)

diddly dee, so it is, that it is

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:10, archived)

I'm fucken well Irish, me
I'm 'Irish af'
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:12, archived)

bog Irish or mick Irish?

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)

yes

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Apr 2021, 13:52, archived)

afternoon

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:17, archived)

Afternoon
Already want to go to bed, slept terrible last night
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:23, archived)

ok

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:27, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:38, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:07, archived)

it is indeed
just made a vat of soup with 7 (seven) veg in it, and pearl barley

Hoping it helps get rid of my hangover
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:41, archived)

Spicy noodles mate
Works every time
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:49, archived)

Have you ever had these?
www.amazon.co.uk/Samyang-Spicy-Chicken-Flavour-Noodles/dp/B01MUGP7QK

I can handle a lot of heat but they are actually inedible
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:51, archived)

lol
"Flavour: Spicy"
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:56, archived)

should be 'Flavour: none that you will be able to detect as you'll be choking and weeping too much'
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:14, archived)

never did understand the point of that
food's supposed to be enjoyable, not a hardness contest
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:19, archived)

some of the hottest chillies taste amazing (smoked ghost chillies are the fucking business), but have to be used judiciously
when I make chilli con carne I use one Carolina reaper and some other mild peppers like ancho, chipotle, chile d'arbol and so on, so you get a delicious flavour with some heat afterwards, not some kind of 'OI OI CHICKEN PHAAL AND 10 KINGFISHERS' bullshit, no-one's impressed m8, and now you have diarrhoea, congratulations
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:24, archived)

well exactly, it's all about the balance
I'm not averse to a bit of heat in my food, but I want to ride that little adrenaline kick and then get on with my evening, not spend it on the shitter bent double from stomach cramps
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:34, archived)

some other mild peppers like ancho, chipotle, chile d'arbol and so on, so you get a delicious flavour with some heat afterwards, not some kind of 'OI OI CHICKEN PHAAL AND 10 KINGFISHERS' bullshit, no-one's impressed m8, and
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:38, archived)

Gal yuh fi change my pants

(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:47, archived)

cheers

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:50, archived)

No, not seen those before
If I do, I'll give them a try
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 14:45, archived)

honestly don't
they're actually unpleasant to eat
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 14:49, archived)

You know that just makes me want to try them more, right?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:02, archived)

it's the taste as much as the heat, fucking wrong
I mean, fill yer boots but don't say I didn't warn you
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:25, archived)

Oh, I'm well aware that they're probably going to be disgusting
But my brother once dared me to eat a victory v that he found down the back of my grandad's couch and I did.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:46, archived)

Isn't a Victory V an old car?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:52, archived)

They were weird hot sweats my grandad used to eat

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:24, archived)

HOT SWEATS

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:55, archived)

I do hope you are not counting potatoes as veg

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:10, archived)

I've never understood that one
iirc potatoes are one of only a tiny number of foods which can sustain human life when eaten exclusively - coconuts being another
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:13, archived)

man cannot live on shoe alone

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:36, archived)

That's being a castaway sorted

(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:50, archived)

I made bubble and squeak for the first time in my life yesterday.
As the supermarket sent me a tenderheart cabbage instead of cauliflower and I didn't know what else to do with it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:04, archived)

anecdotes etc

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:06, archived)

mrs is making this tomorrow
www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/smoked_haddock_and_96189

I wanted to smoke my own haddock* but after visiting 3 x fishmongers and 2 x supermarkets, unsmoked haddock fillets are, it seems, not a thing here ffs

*not a euphemism
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:24, archived)

Nice!
I had a crack at a veggie moussaka last weekend, it used urid beans in place of the lamb mince, worked quite well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 16:06, archived)

They're much nicer than those total-callous-bastard cabbages, I find.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 16:26, archived)

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:15, archived)

IT’S A PLAY ON WORDS

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:59, archived)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:36, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:07, archived)

afternoon b3ta.com/talk, good to see the weathers cheered up for those pubbing it

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 14:35, archived)

afternoon

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:07, archived)

I had 6 lovely pints I'm feeling great

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:33, archived)

fantastic

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:54, archived)

I went to the gym
it was alright
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 14:45, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:07, archived)

going to the pub later?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:19, archived)

Naah, Monday's my no-booze day
also it's gonna be mental. Hoping to go into Soho for a beer on Friday though. I doubt we'll be able to get a drink in the pub so I'll probably hang around in the road with some tins and if the police say anything I'll tell them it's a vigil for Prince Phil godresthisoul
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 15:51, archived)

They have nigh on pedestrianised soho, was there today

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:48, archived)

destria
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 17:51, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/stagsandhens/post2203291#post2203306
(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 19:29, archived)

afternoon
I'm knackered
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 18:02, archived)

Morning
Quiet round here today. I take it you're all at the gym/beauty salon/Primark.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:17, archived)

Oh that's a coincidence
I'm already at the age where birthdays are irrelevant and a 'b3taday' is even less so.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:20, archived)

morning
when the shops reopened last time there was a queue outside Primark in East Ham which was a good couple of hundred people strong. The need for £2 leggings made by Bangladeshi children is extremely high round these parts, it would appear.

lol parts
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:21, archived)

p f lol farts!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:26, archived)

lol parts
Bizarre isn't it? Squeezing into a shop to buy some cheap exploitation tat. Not just East Ham, there are some strange people all over the place.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:40, archived)

Alright Rich.
I watched this fascinating documentary on Auzzie Exploitation films last night. Looks like there's a world of this stuff I was unaware of, it looks great.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_Quite_Hollywood:_The_Wild,_Untold_Story_of_Ozploitation!
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:38, archived)

excellent, not something I'm really aware of
I've seen The Adventures of Barry Mackenzie, I suppose that's one of them
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 10:03, archived)

they had some clips of that.
"Is it true all Australian men are homosexual?"
"Nah mate, that's just a lie put out by the tourist board to attract pommie migrants!"
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 10:18, archived)

I may go to the gym...

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:27, archived)

Go for it!
Bust some quads and rip some pecs or vice versa.

I get the appeal of exercise. Not sure I'm keen to hang around in a closed space with lots of sweating and heavily breathing people at the moment tho.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:41, archived)

I'm far too self conscious to ever set foot in a gym

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:51, archived)

I quite like going on a machine and staying on it for a while
I'll do half an hour on the rowing machine while listening to a podcast. They space the kit quite far apart.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:03, archived)

Everyone's a first timer at some point
Most people at the gym are focused on themselves and doesn't really notice other people. There also seems to be a culture of 'all of us are here to improve' - people who are awkward/unfit/etc are more likely to get respect because they're working at it than derided for not fitting in. And if you don't know what you're doing on a machine you can always look up tutorials on youtube.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:20, archived)

Also, gyms change a lot depending on the location
I remember the Fitness First in Covent Garden was always full of escorts and professional dancers (there's a big crossover between the categories) and that could be intimidating. The gyms near big office locations tended to be more full of less-fit normal people trying to stay healthy rather than people who could slum it as Abercrombie & Fitch models.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:27, archived)

Nah, not for me ta
I've got my bike at home, and as a result have just got paid to do an hour's cycle workout whilst simultaneously working. I'll be gutted if I have to start commuting again, this suits me very well indeed
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:30, archived)

gym Borg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:54, archived)

morning

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:30, archived)

Hope you have a good one broadsword

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:42, archived)

good +hard e
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:34, archived)

I've got many layers on and am ready to pub

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:32, archived)

100% in support of this
Does your local have a beer garden?
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:42, archived)

A massive one , but it's not opening till may

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:47, archived)

Shame
My favourite pub's the same. Not entirely sure why, would have thought they'd want the revenue.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

Our landlords excuse was that if it starts chucking it down he'll have 150 people kicking off

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:25, archived)

Good job he's waiting until May then, when it's guaranteed not to rain

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 11:00, archived)

it's 2 degrees out according to the BBC, you'll need your layers

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:58, archived)

Yeah I saw it coming, got thermals on as a base layer. And gloves with those touchscreen pads for holding pints

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:04, archived)

I admire your dedication to your craft

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:31, archived)

22nd of December was the last time I bought a pint , got a picture to remember it

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:36, archived)

Brilliant
catchmeoutside.co/
( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 10:53, archived)

that's not comprehensive thank fuck - otherwise there'd be nowhere for me to go without significant travel

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 10:59, archived)

Nah it's not all the pubs, but it helps me in town

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 11:02, archived)

Got my first pint in

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 11:58, archived)

woohoo!
have one for me
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:03, archived)

Will do, the girl in the office gave me no jobs today so I can get on it, bless her

( mongychops, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:07, archived)

you'd better have one for her too then

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 12:14, archived)

+ale

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 10:56, archived)

Morning
I already have far more clothes than I need, so I won't bother
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:59, archived)

morning
Not going back to the gym until I’ve had my second vaccine but I did beast it up in the pit, the pit being my living room with some weights

Gotta chase dem gainz
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:03, archived)

^getting judy all up in here

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:32, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:08, archived)

looks like you won round 13 with a knock-out candle hook

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 9:37, archived)

OMG!
For the first time in over a year people are returning to Primark!
Nature is healing!
(Rob Manual, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 10:09, archived)

Might go along, get a bit of the old herd immunity along with my essential £3 "jogging" trousers

(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 11:48, archived)

I've managed to get a booking at the dentists
I've not had a scale'n'polish and a checkup for quite a while...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 11:36, archived)

I've been for two check-ups at their invitation since covid hit
All faintly ridiculous. Health questioned at a distance outside the front door, come in and it's immediate hand gel before you have a chance to touch anything, staff open doors for you, face must be covered at all times - except when you're in the chair, when please feel free to blow virus particles all around the (unventilated) room and into the faces of the staff bending over you and going from patient to patient.
(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 11:54, archived)

Well, I've had me jab now so should be fairly resistant to the 'rona by the appointment
towards the middle of next month.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:15, archived)

Sick brazilian under 40s in your area wltm

(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 13:38, archived)

Fackinell I am stuffed

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 16:25, archived)

there is lasagna in the making
#garfield
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 16:57, archived)

images.app.goo.gl/7ZVezjCXc9hR9fdG9
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 11 Apr 2021, 21:14, archived)

spins a web, human size, catches jon, eats his eyes

(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 22:14, archived)

Gives me an idea

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 1:26, archived)

How about face-centred cubic?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:10, archived)

OH FFS

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:13, archived)

You mean FCC?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:14, archived)

ortho fuckin rhombic
or tho rhom bic
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:40, archived)

orthorhombic

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:38, archived)

alright Sophie Ellis-Bextor

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 18:36, archived)

I looked her up, verdict: great big face on a breeze-block head, I mean I really can’t get over how boxlike her headface is.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:03, archived)

She was the best one in n64 goldeneye

(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:14, archived)

It's murder on the dance floor, but I am invincible

(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:15, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 1:24, archived)

she's a bit of a minger and her music is fucking shit
I'm sure she's a nice person though
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:37, archived)

Didn't somebody here link some kitchen videos of hers a little while back?
Another celebrity offsetting their lockdown boredom by going LOOK AT ME
(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:41, archived)

Toyah Fripp, I mean

(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:59, archived)

I’ve watched the first minutes of a few of those, it’s hard to watch beyond a certain point
I’ve actually been thinking about why R Fripp does it, and it can only be that he gets himself some serious hyped-up old lady action afterwards
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 1:28, archived)

It's horrible
watching one or both of them having some kind of protracted public breakdown
(dribble, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 1:48, archived)

/links, you mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 6:19, archived)

I'll ask him if you want, I've got his mobile number

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 8:57, archived)

Man this lad is gr8
youtu.be/jfM3bxtfQSQ
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:12, archived)

ooh nice

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:14, archived)

woah
alt: brb racism klaxon for the Yellow Magic Orchestra at the end there.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:29, archived)

The ‘Y’ word.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:04, archived)

Your black magic only works on the rookie

(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:17, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite crystal structure classification? I'd have to say triclinic.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 9:35, archived)

Morning
I'm quite fond of geodes
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 9:53, archived)

They look nice on a mantlepiece, don't they?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:23, archived)

They do indeed
I currently have my eye on a dragon head in snowflake obsidian
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:27, archived)

+pewter
in with
+eyes
(dribble, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:59, archived)

Heh
Wormulus, 4 eva in are hart's.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 12:58, archived)

TRICLINIC? Are you fucking retarded?
Orthorhombic 4 lyf m8

You've made a right dick of yourself here, you can probably get away with deleting this, no-one else seems to be about
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 9:55, archived)

PS morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 9:55, archived)

Gonna kill myself now, hope you're happy.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:22, archived)

Delighted

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:32, archived)

Bravais, have chips with that
alt: morning
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:03, archived)

A telly and chips?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 16:14, archived)

this is pathetic, you need to grow up

(Tony Shithouse, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:40, archived)

This is dumb, even for your Talk/efforts.
Show some respect to those who still have some time and love this place. If you don't like it then stop whining and feck off and leave us alone from your childish pranks.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:48, archived)

this is pathetic, you need to grow up Tony Shithouse
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:49, archived)

I'm a simple man. diamond cubic is enough to keep me satisfied.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 10:57, archived)

Meth

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 12:13, archived)

Solid choice there.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 13:01, archived)

afternoon
cba googling for crystalline structure names
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 13:13, archived)

I appreciate your honesty.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 13:32, archived)

Afternoon.
Time.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 14:24, archived)

orthorhombic

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 17:38, archived)

I hear ya, bro.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 11 Apr 2021, 19:53, archived)

👍🏼

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 12 Apr 2021, 1:33, archived)

Good afternoon
youtu.be/xFSwIw-_-as
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 10 Apr 2021, 17:36, archived)

evening

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 19:58, archived)

how was your mcd-poo?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 20:16, archived)

MC Poo?
www.discogs.com/Pooh-Man-Funky-As-I-Wanna-Be/release/1386786
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 21:11, archived)

Morning.
I had a McDonald's breakfast and feel great about it.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 8:30, archived)

alright, willenium
have nice digestion
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 8:58, archived)

I did

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 9:56, archived)

I'm trying quark and potato dumplings for breakfast
Hope they're nice
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 9:04, archived)

how were they?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 9:42, archived)

I put salt and butter on them
So they tasted like salty, buttery mash. Wouldn't buy them again, but they're not horrible or anything, just bland
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 10:07, archived)

Sounds ok, but I wouldn't want mash for breakfast

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 10:18, archived)

Yeah I should have had poached eggs on toast

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 10:40, archived)

Try that tomorrow?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 11:32, archived)

I probably will

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:51, archived)

Funny, I thought quarks came in loads of different flavours.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 13:20, archived)

nah, that's all spin

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 16:59, archived)

I think we need to get to the bottom of this!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 17:51, archived)

Braw! Have neutrinos with that.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 9:44, archived)

Turtle power!

(dribble, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:32, archived)

in essence, it's a carbon diet

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)

have greasy shits with that, braw
I'm on the 1990-1 bleep tip this morning, might double drop some yellow callys

soundcloud.com/jeromehill/jerome-hill-classic-bleep-bass
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 10:06, archived)

I'm so hungover my eyeballs ache

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 11:17, archived)

noice

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 11:42, archived)

alright?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:18, archived)

alright dt

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 15:13, archived)

Decent scratching an' all

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:24, archived)

it's 'up my alley'

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 15:13, archived)

morning
another one for the sneaker aficionados
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:02, archived)

Jesus

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:22, archived)

yeah, you probably could walk on water in them

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 12:46, archived)

Get the "just walked across a newly laid road" look

(dribble, Sat 10 Apr 2021, 14:55, archived)

thread for gay spazzes who like it up the bum-bun from other gay spazzes

(BouGPT, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 18:30, archived)

Hi Al!
youtu.be/NBWSm3dQpvk
(dribble, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 18:37, archived)

RIP dmx

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 18:40, archived)

Two legends taken on the same day

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 18:43, archived)

Bet they are having it large a the welcome party

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 18:44, archived)

Phil’s probably already done a racism and been shivved

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:13, archived)

Cheers

(BouGPT, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:15, archived)

Where do you go if you die in heaven

(dribble, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 21:02, archived)

Charing Cross hospital probly

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 21:30, archived)

Nah surprisingly that's in hammersmith. Youd go st Thomas's

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 22:38, archived)

The VIP Lounge

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 21:43, archived)

more sadness :(

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:13, archived)

What's up hun, dm me x

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:49, archived)

dm dp
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 22:03, archived)

There you go b3ta.com/talk

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:08, archived)

I give the people what they want
Even if they’re a wanker
(BouGPT, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:14, archived)

Well you sure as hell wouldn't catch me posting in a thread like th-
... godDAMMIT!
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:27, archived)

b3ta/talk is like a premature ejaculation

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:46, archived)

well thanks so much for the warm welcome x

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 21:39, archived)

Arguing with my boyfriend over whether or not vaccines are a good thing
Never realized I was dating a fuckwit
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 23:54, archived)

Afternoon, wanker's

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 11:59, archived)

I'm not a wanker, can I still reply in this thread?
Cheers
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:01, archived)

shut up, wanker

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:03, archived)

Wanker^

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:11, archived)

Sounds like exactly the sort of thing a total, unmitigated wanker would say.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:24, archived)

I'm sure that there will be a thread for gay spazzes who like it up the bum-bun from other gay spazzes along shortly.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 17:53, archived)

I've been good as gold this week, so I'm on the piss tonight & making adana kebabs and beetroot hummus
Got a zoom-o with my pops later, I expect my kid will continue to blank me but what can you do eh.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:03, archived)

^ wanker

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:09, archived)

RIP Prince Philip, the nasty old racist

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:09, archived)

RIP Phil the Greek, never made it to the century and got a letter from his wife

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:12, archived)

He was 1370 in lizard years.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 17:56, archived)

Shh I'm mourning

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:12, archived)

News, b3ta, etc

(dribble, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:15, archived)

^

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:13, archived)

taken 2 soon

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:15, archived)

God racist his soul :(

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:19, archived)

Damn you AstraZenaca!!

(dribble, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:20, archived)

He had so much more to give.
Offence, I mean.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 12:49, archived)

show some respect
he came inside the Queen
( $$ ✅, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:03, archived)

alright ess ess

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:09, archived)

Omg you're not dead!!

(dribble, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:37, archived)

PRAISE THE LORD, FOR HE HATH RISEN

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:56, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:57, archived)

PRINCE OF R HARTZ

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 15:11, archived)

And Hibs and meadowbank before they moved

(Rob Manual, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:37, archived)

We’d better fucking get a bank holiday out of this

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:06, archived)

alright brb.com/talk

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 16:56, archived)

I'm at half mast rn

(Rob Manual, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 17:16, archived)

and wankettes

( $$ ✅, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:04, archived)

and what time do you call this?

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 13:57, archived)

well, SOMEBODY needed to say it

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 15:27, archived)

alright dribble

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 16:07, archived)

$$

(dribble, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 16:25, archived)

lol

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 16:41, archived)

*salutes*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 16:34, archived)

alright

(BouGPT, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 18:20, archived)

Shooooooooes
alt: morning
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)

Morning

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 8:24, archived)

morning

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 8:34, archived)

morning
nice and sunny here
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 8:57, archived)

Cold out I can tell you

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:05, archived)

Both of the above here.
Getting a bit fed up of scraping the windscreen every morning, it's fucking April.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:11, archived)

We've just got rid of the frosty starts, was going to go fishing with my brother but my nob of a nephew has broken his tib and fib, plaster from foot to thigh, needs lifting on the bog

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:24, archived)

selfish boy

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:29, archived)

On a see saw apparently, how a 14 year old breaks their leg on that shows he was being a prick , ambulance to hospital and an op . Every fucking year, elbow last summer, still pinned

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:35, archived)

oh dear, there's a pattern here
either that or he's bullshitting about what he was really up to
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:42, archived)

He has no fear, bit touched the lad , that's adopting for you

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:47, archived)

Morning
Enjoying my scrambled eggs while I watch people stuck on a mountain resorting to cannibalism
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:06, archived)

I'm choosing to imagine that you are watching microscopic life unfold on top of the eggshell.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:12, archived)

Sounds fun

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:22, archived)

Thats the specialist end of pornhub

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 11:31, archived)

beautiful spring sunshine here LOL

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:11, archived)

LOL

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:12, archived)

Hahaha!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 19:29, archived)

Shoe Shoe Barney McGrew Cuthbert Dibble Grubb whallop

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:15, archived)

Why Don't Shoe Just Switch Off Shoer Television Set and Go and Shoe Something Less Boring Instead?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

reminds me of this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDcZatWAnDI
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:31, archived)

Fewer boring

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 11:06, archived)

Only Fools And Horseshoes

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:07, archived)

morning
no shoes around here

I've got this on instead
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:18, archived)

Not clicking that, might be a virus.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

20 Seconds to Comply is a classic B A N G E R

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:24, archived)

Its fucking shit

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:28, archived)

no m8 it is not fucking shit

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:32, archived)

They were a one hit wonder , and that wasn't it

( mongychops, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:36, archived)

nothing says 'Friday' like a good bit of arguing on the internet

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:05, archived)

I disagree!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:30, archived)

YEAH IT FUCKING DOES YOU CUNT

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:31, archived)

did you come here for an argument?
ha ha, Monty Python, etc.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:58, archived)

haha, oh man they're great - so great, in fact, that I just call them 'Python'!
It shows other people how much of a fan of theirs I am!
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 11:20, archived)

totes respect m8, you sound like the life of any party

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 11:24, archived)

Ni!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 11:35, archived)

20 Seconds to Comply my nan
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 9:32, archived)

Still morning

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:08, archived)

Cheers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 10:44, archived)

Haha, Gayshift!!
lol
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 1:09, archived)

FUCKLIFT

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 9 Apr 2021, 6:11, archived)