Anus

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 18 May 2024, 0:25, archived)

Bollocks

( broadsword, Sat 18 May 2024, 1:09, archived)

You would say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 18 May 2024, 2:20, archived)

Gooch
💪(◡̀_◡́҂) ha
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 May 2024, 2:58, archived)

Anus bollocks gooch bum

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 18 May 2024, 7:12, archived)

THREADRUSH

(sticklebricks, Fri 17 May 2024, 21:23, archived)

Right, I'm going to bed.
Then having a shower, then going to bed again.

Goodnight. I'd like an alarm call please, and some toast.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 21:21, archived)

Alarmed toast?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 17 May 2024, 21:23, archived)

gash lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 May 2024, 3:14, archived)

lol

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 18 May 2024, 6:25, archived)

5 / 7 every single one a guess
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-69023729
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 17 May 2024, 15:56, archived)

3/7 hard with a gnomon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 17 May 2024, 17:12, archived)

pushing the best thread in b3ta history down the board
hi knob's
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 15:40, archived)

well it was the best thread
until this one
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 16:09, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 16:50, archived)

Ah shit I missed it
alright queefs
( broadsword, Fri 17 May 2024, 17:05, archived)

Hey bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 17:12, archived)

one of the most creative and formative threads in human history

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 May 2024, 17:54, archived)

no question

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 18:20, archived)

here, chatgpt drew a car, you can have it if you want

  ________
 /          \
|   ______   |
|  |______|  |
|            |
 \__________/
  Tesla Model S

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 May 2024, 18:30, archived)

wow nice one man

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 18:42, archived)

My brother is a driving instructor, he'll teach you for free in that.

( mongychops, Fri 17 May 2024, 18:45, archived)

today just gets better and better

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 18:51, archived)

my brother is a Tesla Model S and he'll let you sit on his lap

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 19:09, archived)

He's poorly built and indirectly responsible for many deaths?

( broadsword, Fri 17 May 2024, 19:29, archived)

That's no way to talk about his dad.

( mongychops, Fri 17 May 2024, 19:44, archived)

alright m

( broadsword, Sat 18 May 2024, 0:17, archived)

alrite

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 18 May 2024, 20:55, archived)

Arse me in the gob and tell me that you love me

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 19:58, archived)

hi knob's
it's off to work we gobs
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 17 May 2024, 20:15, archived)

gobbye

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 20:33, archived)

Afternoons, you fucking arseboons

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:15, archived)

Only an arseboon can call another arseboon an arseboon, you fucking racist. >:-(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 17 May 2024, 13:22, archived)

when did this come into effect

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:25, archived)

These days, if you call an arseboon an arseboon, you get arrested and thrown in jail.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:26, archived)

ARSEBOON DILBARO!

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:27, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:27, archived)

LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUO

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:30, archived)

ha, t3h quo!!! classic

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:31, archived)

Booney M

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:33, archived)

Dilbaro dilbaro dilbaro, who can say for sure?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:25, archived)

‘Magic David called’

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 May 2024, 14:03, archived)

mournring

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 7:18, archived)

Mornfuckyeahfridaying

( broadsword, Fri 17 May 2024, 7:39, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 8:08, archived)

day off today
And you're a massive gay
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:26, archived)

I have to work, you massive jerk

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:29, archived)

I'm working from home, whilst wanking a gnome

( broadsword, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:39, archived)

i'm in bed
a ladyboy is giving me head
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:40, archived)

The mind plays tricks

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:43, archived)

finish the fucking poem
i can't tell where your going
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:06, archived)

He's eating a bag full of dicks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:09, archived)

thank you kind porcupine!
what is life without rhyme?
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:19, archived)

A rhymeless life is not what you want
You fucking stupid fucking cunt
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:31, archived)

GEOSTORM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:44, archived)

GEOSTORM

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:08, archived)

'wunt'?

(piss and shit, Fri 17 May 2024, 11:04, archived)

oh so you pronounce it like "wah", do you
wah wah wah
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 17 May 2024, 11:13, archived)

no
ont like 'wrong'
and cunt rhymes with 'front'
(piss and shit, Fri 17 May 2024, 12:09, archived)

if 'tis your wont to pronounce want like wont

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 17 May 2024, 12:23, archived)

Ye feckin cont

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:08, archived)

i'm drinking beer
and you're a fucking queer
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:39, archived)

day off here too, you reeking old poo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:49, archived)

might elope with an eel
it's just the way that i feel
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:05, archived)

Nothing rhymes with orange
but can I offer you a lozenge?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:45, archived)

Yeah that's right I just SMASHED that myth

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:46, archived)

^ Linguists HATE him!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:56, archived)

as do we all, tbh

(piss and shit, Fri 17 May 2024, 11:04, archived)

no thanks i've just eaten

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:47, archived)

Cheryl Crust
the ventilation system has just shut down in the office and it's truly silent. I can't remember it ever being this quiet at work before - it's fucking freaky, that's what it is.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 May 2024, 8:32, archived)

and.... it's back again
that was a weird few minutes.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 May 2024, 8:34, archived)

crusty cheryl

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 9:27, archived)

anyone starts any shit about the late Tang dynasty today and it's going to fucking kick off, i mean it, I'm not in the fucking mood

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 May 2024, 12:35, archived)

they're all fucking dead haha losers

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:02, archived)

late WANG more like!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 17 May 2024, 13:09, archived)

Alright.
Alt.: favourite Chinese imperial dynasty? I'd have to say Zhou, I think.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 May 2024, 20:49, archived)

Alright.
Alt: None. Long live the revolution.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 16 May 2024, 21:06, archived)

i think they're all minging tbh

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 16 May 2024, 21:17, archived)

no, it's late Tang, one of the most creative and formative eras in human history.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 21:20, archived)

Alright
Has to be late Tang, one of the most creative and formative eras in human history.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 21:17, archived)

I prefer early Tang, you probably haven't heard of them

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 16 May 2024, 21:43, archived)

Well 36 Chambers is a timeless classic, no question.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 May 2024, 22:13, archived)

I never liked WTC.
Nearly as overrated as Tupac.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 16 May 2024, 22:48, archived)

Fly some planes into them then

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 16 May 2024, 23:17, archived)

Too early

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 23:02, archived)

Sixteen kingdoms

( $$ ✅, Thu 16 May 2024, 22:00, archived)

you're kidding right?
It's late Tang, one of the most creative and formative eras in human history.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 23:01, archived)

clubcentralhurstville.com.au/imperial-dynasty/
( mongychops, Thu 16 May 2024, 22:28, archived)

handy, nasty
www.handynasty.net/
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 23:04, archived)

# not an ad. Don't want the asa coming after me

( mongychops, Thu 16 May 2024, 23:05, archived)

Trying to name one is a slippery slope.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 22:42, archived)

alright jeremy

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 17 May 2024, 2:52, archived)

For the many, not the Jew.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 17 May 2024, 8:09, archived)

Han

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 May 2024, 23:15, archived)

What's the best thing about a dead beepeedee?
It's a dead beepeedee!
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 16 May 2024, 18:04, archived)

i misread the original post
No apologies
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 16 May 2024, 18:06, archived)

alright Kurt Cobaizzzzzz

(piss and shit, Thu 16 May 2024, 18:56, archived)

So LOLZ!!!!111!!!

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 16 May 2024, 18:15, archived)

smegg,

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 May 2024, 19:56, archived)

What's the best thing about fucking a dead baby?
It's a dead baby!!!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 16:11, archived)

Right, that's it. I'm going to write a strongly worded message to you on my Facebook page.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 16 May 2024, 16:12, archived)

Decorate your wall, as it were

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 16:27, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt slasher

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 16 May 2024, 18:15, archived)

I'm sorry you've written a joke

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 16 May 2024, 17:13, archived)

So am I.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 17:13, archived)

what's better than fucking a dead baby?
Fucking a baby until it dies
(piss and shit, Thu 16 May 2024, 17:17, archived)

Replies to win etc

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 17:34, archived)

"Dr" Terry Moore guilty of 12 counts of animal neglect at the Cat Survival Trust, apparently.
To be sentenced next week. Never mind eh, let's remember the good times.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:45, archived)

Never trust a doctor with a beard

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:31, archived)

Why, what do they do with them

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:59, archived)

-with a beard +of homeopathy

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:10, archived)

Bearded theory next weekend
You going?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 16 May 2024, 17:14, archived)

Terry Exotic

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:45, archived)

Terry Cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:59, archived)

Terry B'l

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 16 May 2024, 14:47, archived)

Comedy website.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:53, archived)

Why not try a comedy response to get things going, lead by example, be the change you want to see, fuck off spazmo
-f
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:46, archived)

Relevant to a lot of people's interests on here, though.
Feel free to threadstomp it with a dead baby joke if it'd make you feel better.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 16 May 2024, 16:08, archived)

ps maybe Jahled should get his baseball bat out

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:54, archived)

I think he used it on himself

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:59, archived)

What a fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 13:58, archived)

I guess that £2,300
wasn't quite enough endowmen to provide a sound financial foundation for the charity in the long term.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:11, archived)

endow men, is that what you said mr. freud?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:41, archived)

Sometimes a malnourished cat
is just a stinking pussy.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 16 May 2024, 16:33, archived)

L3gal Aid

(RenegadeMaster, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:15, archived)

Are you back once again?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:21, archived)

and I've brought the ill behaviour.

(RenegadeMaster, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:50, archived)

I bet I can predict your next move in Battleships.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 16 May 2024, 15:17, archived)

fat boy slim shady

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:43, archived)

Fuck you, beepeedee. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 11:01, archived)

Rob pays for the server for this
At least make it interesting or inflammatory
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 16 May 2024, 11:05, archived)

I'll PayPal him 11p

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:23, archived)

Not enough
Your posts are so boring you'd have to send £11000
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:58, archived)

Bollocks.
Horrible's posts are among the best on /talk
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 16 May 2024, 14:11, archived)

I'm just teasing him

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 17 May 2024, 10:03, archived)

Go eat a bag of dicks

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 11:21, archived)

Loose or individually wrapped?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:23, archived)

mr horrible is a camel knobber

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:25, archived)

Dog knobber, actually

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:28, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 16 May 2024, 8:23, archived)

Fuck you, beepeedee. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 16 May 2024, 9:41, archived)

Mprning
8:00AM no show
Result!
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 16 May 2024, 8:05, archived)

Which regular are you?
Spanishfly?
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 16 May 2024, 8:41, archived)

SHIT ON A DOG'S TITS

not really, fart on a frog's flange
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:08, archived)

Hi
I see David Copafeel has been outed as a sex pest, quelle surprise Rodders, quelle surprise.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:30, archived)

It's always the ones you most suspect.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 May 2024, 16:46, archived)

Creepy, wandering-hands, Epstein-associated fake-tanned magician, David Copperfield.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 16:47, archived)

oh him
I always confuse him with Barry Manilow for some reason
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 May 2024, 17:06, archived)

David Copperfield did a residency in Barry Manilow's nose. Barry Maninose. David Copperfilledhisnasalcavity.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 17:20, archived)

Manilow is bent, Copperfield touches up underage girls

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 17:33, archived)

When I was young, my dad always called him Mangy Barryload.
I never could take him seriously after that.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 18:25, archived)

yeah I'd write my dad off too, if he was that much of a wanker

no offence, like
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 May 2024, 18:28, archived)

he spawned me, what the fuck did you expect

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 19:25, archived)

an apology

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 19:55, archived)

Shooting

( mongychops, Wed 15 May 2024, 19:58, archived)

i'd rather eat a badger's arsehole
just got in from work. ugh.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 19:51, archived)

classic vagueb3taing, please tell us all about it.
lol not really
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 20:18, archived)

i got fish and chips in truro then i drove all the way home, pausing at sainsbury's to buy foodandboings
then i drove to my house, parked, collected my belongings, locked my vehicle, went inside, cracked open a couple of beers and told you to fuck off. fuck off.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 20:23, archived)

truro story

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 20:28, archived)

silly boy

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 20:56, archived)

I never thought of myself as shy. But there I was, all wibbly-wobbly in the legs as I waited to go on TV
confided Adrian Chiles to his three avid readers
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 21:04, archived)

pffft
the guy serving in the fish and chip shop was a legend. my mate used his phone to pay but it didn't work first time, so this legend says 'try it in landscape mode'

i was still laughing at that after i got home. i'm literally laughing now. genius.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 21:13, archived)

Keyword: legend

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 21:59, archived)

was leg endery

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 22:27, archived)

I belatedly retract my previous statement,
can you please shove your fish supper up your arse and kill yourself? Admittedly it's probably too late now, but you can do it tomorrow.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 23:40, archived)

absolutely

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 15 May 2024, 23:53, archived)

You're disgusting

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 16 May 2024, 12:59, archived)

Anyone want a cuppa?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:19, archived)

Mark E. Smith, probably

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:23, archived)

He's a dick-ah

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:40, archived)

Black coffee please xxxx

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:38, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:40, archived)

^

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:44, archived)

Bit rude really

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:55, archived)

Bit rude really
That genuinely upset me
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:54, archived)

Not nearly rude enough

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:59, archived)

I like this

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:04, archived)

No thanks
I've got a gin and tonic
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:49, archived)

Nah I'm having a pint in Clerkenwell

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:09, archived)

Anyone got that link for the trippy duck animation?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 15 May 2024, 13:26, archived)

Yes and why don't I have one?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:34, archived)

I like breking bits off big blocks of ice for my drinks
so I bought an ice pick. This one
www.amazon.co.uk/Stainless-Safety-Breaking-Non-slip-Wooden/dp/B091CMNTMV

Dear god, it arrived, and it's one of the most vicious Johnny Wick-type weapons I've ever seen. Fucking hell, it's gotten quite Sopranos around here...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 May 2024, 14:18, archived)

alright Ramón Mercader

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 14:24, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:05, archived)

Yep.
It's very Putiny "oh, dear me, he accidentally slipped and fell onto the ice pick while making a cocktail in ... bed, asleep .... eight times ... in the eyeball. Foolish comrade."
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:54, archived)

then he jumped out of the window!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 17:26, archived)

these are good, these are good, he's ebeneezer goode
www.procook.co.uk/product/procook-ice-mould-2-globes
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:07, archived)

This would be a very handy prison weapon, gardening tool, or clay modelling tool, but it is not an ice pick.
The pictures show you how to stab yourself through the hand. Do not do this.

These days we have ice cube tray technology, very advanced stuff, with no need for melee weapons. If you really need to break up some ice, wrap it in a tea towel and smash it against a hard surface.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 15 May 2024, 16:08, archived)

A cupping?
Yeah, go on then.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 May 2024, 14:41, archived)

Eggy cuppa?
That was a thing on here wasn't it, old eggy cup, right, eggy cup?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 15 May 2024, 14:55, archived)

Alright UToL

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 15:01, archived)

Yeah I am
who were you when people used actually post here?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 15 May 2024, 23:21, archived)

Not teĺling.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 23:33, archived)

Alright manolith

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 16 May 2024, 9:06, archived)

I have decided to be neutral gender non specific identified as a cloud
Suggestions for a name please
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 15 May 2024, 11:21, archived)

Why did you post this?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 11:22, archived)

because it's cloudy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 11:31, archived)

to stick it to The Woke

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 11:37, archived)

Okey dokey, pig in a wokey

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 11:38, archived)

We didn't bum him!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 11:41, archived)

Fluffy McRainyplops

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:03, archived)

Just as long as it's not Bou

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:48, archived)

"Parental Disappointment Unit"

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 15 May 2024, 12:53, archived)

"future winner"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:10, archived)

TheRightWingJoke

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 15 May 2024, 13:33, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 7:38, archived)

GOOD RUN Ure

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 7:59, archived)

JFC, I assumed she'd been dead for years

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 8:17, archived)

I was sure I only knew her name because she'd died at least 5 years ago too.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 8:57, archived)

Queef will be inconsolable.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 8:59, archived)

Spanishfly will be the opposite.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:13, archived)

Consolable?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:15, archived)

As in "something that children play games with", yes.
Jesus that was laboured, even for me.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:33, archived)

After much Google effort, I know wtfyboa
And now I wish I hadn't bothered
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:36, archived)

Fuck you, mr horrible, fuck you

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:37, archived)

I don't know either and I won't bother looking it up.
Seems like a nobody anyway.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:40, archived)

that's not nice, mr horrible is definitely a somebody.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:42, archived)

and that somebody is me, obviously

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:43, archived)

I'm spanishfly's comedy account, and also GREAT FORUM BANTER, obvs

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:50, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8411794
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:52, archived)

Urgh....

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:25, archived)

Good moring popular poster <Plumdozer>
Lol Plum
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:17, archived)

Shit off.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 15 May 2024, 10:23, archived)

Got anything you could recommend for a day out? I have to say for 25 quid 2 hrs of this fella is funny as fuck in places, I had tears laughing. I'm stoic normally.


I will say for £25 this is well worth it. He puts on one hell of a show. I went to college round there. I know the area, but he was so funny I had tears, rare for a geezer. If you want a laugh in London I recommend. No refunds #notepad

britmovietours.com/bookings/gangster-tour-of-london/
( mongychops, Tue 14 May 2024, 20:32, archived)

If you don't laugh, does he come over and beat you up?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 20:40, archived)

Nah he's a lovely fella. Knew I was smoking a spliff. Odd group, Scots, Norwegians and swedes. Lock stock I suppose, but he does some cockney translation for them 'GO BACK SWEDEN TELL THE OLD MAN,YOU WANT A BAG OF FUCKING SAND

( mongychops, Tue 14 May 2024, 20:47, archived)

There's no way you're from Stoke

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 20:45, archived)

I'm not, I went college rochelle street. Went their Saturday. Did go 4 aces club up there tho

( mongychops, Tue 14 May 2024, 20:48, archived)

"I'm stoic normally"
come to think of it, I'm 'Stowic
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 21:54, archived)

Stoke Newington, maybe,
the PERFUMED PANCE!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 22:35, archived)

Are you a geezer?
I assumed you were younger
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 15 May 2024, 9:08, archived)

i'm feeding the pigeons. not all of them, just two. they seem nice.
have you ever fed the pigeons? if so please respond with diagrams.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 17:58, archived)

PARKLIFE!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 14 May 2024, 18:04, archived)

damon all barn doors open

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 18:30, archived)

Park-Life 3 announced.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 20:21, archived)

ChatGPT made this

  __
 >  o  <
    []
   /\/\______
  /           \
 /             \
(  (   )   )  (   )   (  )   (  )  (  )  (  ) )
 `--`-----`-----`
   Feeding Pigeons

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 18:04, archived)

amazing
looks just like them
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 18:31, archived)

I've fed pigeon to myself, does that count?
pigeon pie, I'm not a cat
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 14 May 2024, 18:51, archived)

dicksgusting

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 19:08, archived)

no, dicklicious

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 14 May 2024, 19:11, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 23:01, archived)

Please don't give them bread

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 15 May 2024, 8:01, archived)