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# hello my lovely people - does anyone have a title we could use for the newsletter?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Jade Goody qualifies for Eurovision finals!
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Max Clifford ate my hamster?
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:55, archived)
# 4 EVA IN OWR STOMAKS
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
# tunneling up from or bums
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Hitting your inbox like it was a Celtic Manager
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:48, archived)
# hahaha
yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:50, archived)
# Attracting more controversy than ITV's This Morning!
Possibly NSFW
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:48, archived)
# "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted."
Hahahahaha x eleventy
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
# ^ That's what she said
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:01, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:15, archived)
# BWhahahahaha Look at Philip trying not to look down
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# and Robson Green trying not to jiz in his pants
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:02, archived)
# ffs I almost spat my coffee out then
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:13, archived)
# * My work here is done
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:15, archived)
# I thought they closed Cardington...
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:09, archived)
# Carefully not mentioning Ryan Giggs or Hugh Bonnevile...and on a completely unrelated topic, not mentioning anything about super injunctions either.
Go on - you KNOW you want the b3ta newsletter to be the first British media source to break the injunctions!
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:49, archived)
# ryan giggs and hugh bonnevile...
...fucking each other...

...caught on CCTV...

...in Hi Def...

...while jemima khan frigged herself on the spoiler of a ferarri F40...

...as clarkson masturbated his semi for all its worth...
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:54, archived)
# ...and I'm spent...
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:02, archived)
# All done here, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:09, archived)
# Eat my shorts
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 13 May 2011, 13:50, archived)
# The Culturally iconic edition
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:51, archived)
# Why weren't we smeared by Facebook tooo?
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:52, archived)
# How about Sir Newsletter?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:52, archived)
# free Eurovision racist chant sheet inside
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:53, archived)
# Donald Trump head cock edition
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:53, archived)
# THREE COCKS
Three of the bloody things
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:54, archived)
# pfft
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 13 May 2011, 13:54, archived)
# Free Cock inside this issue!
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 13 May 2011, 13:54, archived)
#
inside compiling
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Offering a free superinjunction to every reader. G'wan, g'wan g'wan g'wan, you know you want one
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:54, archived)
# By order of the supreme court and a super injunction you must not mention the super injunction
without having a super injunction to cover yourself from the media after mentioning the super injunction
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:56, archived)
# Sony hacked Anonymous while Facebook sold their names to Google, full facts inside!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:54, archived)
# We got all our news from b3ta this week!
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 13 May 2011, 13:55, archived)
# Still not available on PlayStation Network
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:55, archived)
# "Earl Marshal"
failing that..."Lord" or "Lady"
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:55, archived)
# Hello?
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:55, archived)
# *curtsies* :)
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# It does not matter how busy you are,
there is always time for a pie.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:56, archived)
# how true this is
especially if it's Steak and Ale
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# listening to you weewee from inside our rubber masks
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:56, archived)
# Lily Allen
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:57, archived)
# hahahahahahah
The Daily Mail/Keith Allen name dropping issue
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
# SHUT UP!
(Lily Cooper (Allen) Fuck you, fuck you very much..., Fri 13 May 2011, 14:08, archived)
# Hai Comedy account
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:11, archived)
# What is this Comedy Account you speak of?
(Happy Ghost : a soggy combination of river & toast, on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:14, archived)
# A polygon, scaled on it's z axis walked in to a bar
the barman said, "why the long faces?"
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:57, archived)
# Pffft!
My favourite geeky joke is:

f(x)=6x+3 walks into a bar.
"Got any sandwiches?" f(x)=6x+3 asks the barman.
"Sorry," the barman replies, "We don't cater for functions."
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# My favourite is...
... an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one says "Pint of bitter please", the second says "I'll have half of what he's having", the third one says "and I'll have half of what he's having...."

The landlord says "Oh for fuck's sake" and pours two pints.
(I helped save b3ta! notmoro and mrnotmoro : formerly Ishamael and his Missus, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:11, archived)
# Three statisticians go hunting.
The first shoots misses the duck by a foot to the left. The second shoots and misses the duck by a foot to the right. The third one says 'Got it!'
(hiraeth SPACE £19.99. I say yer buy one yer get one free, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:06, archived)
# NOW A PEER OF THE REALM
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
# E-ON energy to start selling the power of greyskull
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
# Bidding on Beatrice's Fascinator so you don't have to
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# Spain qualifies for Eurovision finals, shaking with joy
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# Rob vs. Jason
(I helped save b3ta! Eduard Khil's Haircut is lurking and liking on, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# {REDACTED} in {REDACTED} with Hazel Blears
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# I'm not the one who just got butt fucked on national TV, Ireland
(I helped save b3ta! Mster Johnny Ekstrom, now that's a name, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:00, archived)
# ?
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:11, archived)
# Oh its from Die Hard
which I watched last night - and you know, Jedward shaming Ireland on tv this week and all [gets coat]
(I helped save b3ta! Mster Johnny Ekstrom, now that's a name, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:17, archived)
#
which I watched last night - and you know, Jedward shaming Ireland on tv this week and all
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:20, archived)
# More offensive content than an Irish Eurovision entry
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:00, archived)
# River Song is Amy's Daughter
/although only use this if you have an empty inbox rob.
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:01, archived)
# Could we have 'The Troubles' back please, if it means that Jedward and Blue will get knee-capped?
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:02, archived)
# my other super injunction's a chinese whisper
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:02, archived)
# What's Blue and can't sing? Blue.
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:02, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
genuine lols
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:03, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:04, archived)
# 6 music
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:04, archived)
# /Twitter
/keeps fiver
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:04, archived)
# pfft
so many good ones this week
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 13 May 2011, 14:05, archived)
# Hahahahahaha first time I've ever clicked "I like this" on a text post :)
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:31, archived)
# B3TA NEWSLETTER #478
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Letting the Wookiee win since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Sponsored by Nick Clegg's Flex-Muscle Workout.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:07, archived)
# Jedward in Eurovision, Proving to the rest of europe why they are a joke in the rest of the uk
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:10, archived)
# Not available in any shops, only by calling the number inside and asking for 'Beryl'
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:12, archived)
# "Consider dat a divoice." Arnold Schwarzenegger
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 13 May 2011, 14:20, archived)