b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 10722929 (Thread)

# I've just been given a 60cm square canvas but don't know what to paint on it

Feel free to suggest something, and it may find its way in to the live auction at the London bash
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:47, archived)
# I'd ask JJ, he's always full of so many ideas ;-)
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:48, archived)
# I was going to steal his whatshallidrawtoday picture but couldn't find it in the 3 seconds I could be arsed to search
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:49, archived)
# Well my sugestion would be, as I said this before to you, and that comment is on my popular page so I know people liked it...
I suggested you did, in your cartoon style either, Starsky and Hutch, The professionals, Kojak and Croker, or Cagney and Lacey...
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:52, archived)
# well there's the professionals
happytoast.co.uk/Images/TV/TV_86.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:53, archived)
# A 500 Internal Server Error error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:56, archived)
# no idea
works here
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:58, archived)
# Nothing here I'm afraid..
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:00, archived)
# you could come here and look at it on my screen
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:01, archived)
# You touched me last time I did that...
Mail me a copy of your screen instead!
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:02, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18, archived)
# odd, it works on other computers ok
does it do that to my whole site or just that picture? www.happytoast.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:20, archived)
#
no www. - your DNS records borked perhaps? :)
(I helped save b3ta! gog, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:24, archived)
# Aha. www has it.
Cool pic.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:27, archived)
# I have no idea what that means
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:28, archived)
#
your website host will have DNS records set up for your site. this should include a CNAME entry for www which effectively tells a browser that www.happytoast.co.uk and happytoast.co.uk are the same thing. If thats missing, the link might not work :)
(I helped save b3ta! gog, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:36, archived)
# Both with and without load here
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:31, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:39, archived)
# Ah, it works if I put the www in,
But it works automaticly in IE,
But not in firefox 3.625 which I usually use, perhaps a problem with old version of Firefox.
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:49, archived)
# Revenge Of The Telephone.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:49, archived)
# Something nasty in the woodshed
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:49, archived)
# i can hear it breathing
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:51, archived)
# I've got a long delayed kids book about that
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:53, archived)
# Moggy?
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:28, archived)
# Quite possibly
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:43, archived)
# Don't you start too!
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:49, archived)
# What are we? Your painting bitches?
Squirrels with tits. Simple as that. Ive never seen you draw one.
Give it a signature HappyToast cock, too.
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:49, archived)
# haha, transgender squirrels with tits
but no, not furry crap
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:52, archived)
# Quantum Leap Vs He-Man
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:50, archived)
# Well I'd watch that...
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:53, archived)
# I like the part when Al tells Sam to get outta there, but Sam doesn't and ends up fucking his own clone.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:55, archived)
# Proving once and for all that one can ocupy the same place in time and space as a future or past version of yourself....
Classic cinema..
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:58, archived)
# The 3D version was class, you can practically feel the gooch vapour.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:00, archived)
# Readies my scratch and sniff card....
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:02, archived)
# I am very excited about the concept of
Quantum Leap of Quantum of Solace of Solace Leap 7: The Movie
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:03, archived)
# it's on Netflix, just search for 'funniest chode scene'
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:12, archived)
# It came up with
The Da Vinci Chode
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:25, archived)
# AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
oh fuck, you have to make that

laters
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:30, archived)
# There is only one invisible rapist.
And his name is Kevin Bacon!
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:12, archived)
# sweet sweet baykins


i gotta go, ma gooch be bleedin

:/.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18, archived)
# what's happened to the usernames man? i dont cope well with change
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:50, archived)
# Fuckity underlines!
¡¿Whegh?!
(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:19, archived)
# Fuck, I knew something looked wierd
couldn't work it out!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:21, archived)
# I don't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:42, archived)
# draw the front end
of that blue fox that is burrowing into your little fella's lower intestines there
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:51, archived)
# I did wonder what that part of the picture was supposed to be
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:08, archived)
# It's a dark day in Rome

The clouds lie heavy overhead and the atmosphere created by the impending storm is so thick as to be almost tangible. This does not deter Silvio as he stalks towards the Villa Doria Pamphili with his small pack of "tools" slung over one shoulder. He takes a last drag on his Nazionali Filtro and flicks the glowing butt towards the gutter, where it's quickly extinguished by the first drops of rain.
The storm provides additional cover as Slivio heads into the park, breath quickening as he anticipates what lies ahead, his short, think cock begins to strain against his loose khaki trousers, the tear of pre-cum mixing with the fat drops of rain.
His contact waits for him beneath the curving bridge, the contents of the sack by his feet making muffled grunts and moans as it writhes gently. The man kicks at it with the outside of his foot and gives an urgent Shhh!
Silvio approaches the man and asks, "Is that it, you got it?"
"Si," the man replies creating some confusion as to why he would be speaking Italian when Silvio addressed him in English.
"I must see it before I pay," Silvio insists.
"Very well." The man reaches down and loosens the drawstrings round the top of the sack and holds it open for Silvio to look inside.
"What is this?" Silvio asks, agitatated. "This is not what I asked for."
"No," the man replies as the orang-u-tang unfurls itself from the confines of the sack and languidly reaches out one long, muscular arm and with no apparent effort snaps Silvio's neck.
The ape climbs out of the sack and begins to carefully tear the clothes away from Silvio's corpse whilst the other man reaches down and claims the fat envelope stuffed with Euros that Silvio had in his jacket pocket. The orang-u-tang casually turns Silvio's body onto its belly and with a grunt pushes its long, thin, pink cock into his anus. As lightning flashes overhead and thunder rumbles across the city, the man watches the ape and slowly rubs his own erection as he waits for his turn. Another flash of lightning reveals the greasy tear of pre-cum staining his loose khaki trousers.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:51, archived)
# Hahaha bravo!
For some reason I thought it was Smallbrainfield who came up with these, but nicely done.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:52, archived)
# Pffft!
He'a a newcomer, I've been doing this for 8 years!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:53, archived)
# Aha! Someone else who has a think cock.
I do my best to ignore mine, but occasionally it's smarter than I am.
;@ )
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:41, archived)
# haha
I might write a whole story about a think cock now.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:52, archived)
# *boke*
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:55, archived)
# haha!
(benito vaselini no not that one, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:56, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
Hooray! I hope you're posting this in the special place as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:20, archived)
# Yes, although already lined up a bunch of old ones for this week
since JJ seems to have stopped asking. As you can see, I'll readily change my, er, loyalties though.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:24, archived)
# Me too.
See below.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:29, archived)
# BORING.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:33, archived)
# Oh come on, it's raining and everything
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:36, archived)
# Cosmic Dinosaur raped by the Sun.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:51, archived)
# male or female cosmic dinosaur?
are there any onlookers?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:05, archived)
# yes
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18, archived)
#

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:25, archived)
# Ahhhh! I'm ready to die now.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:29, archived)
#
ready desperate
(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:32, archived)
# For sex, money, Nun of the Above.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:35, archived)
# Seriously, HappyToast...I'd like to see a big Columbo!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:52, archived)
# right up the cloaca
(I helped save b3ta! deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 20:57, archived)
# Pickled despair
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:54, archived)
# Bum print.
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:58, archived)
#
Why not just write "Sujeschens Purlease" in red ?
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:06, archived)
# how post ironic, or something
:D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:07, archived)
# Draw your version of whatever got knocked off the page
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:11, archived)
# that'll be moggy's picture
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:13, archived)
# haha, well, get on with it then!

edit/ although it actually was Ninj's
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:13, archived)
# I'm still contemplating your story
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:16, archived)
# You'll need to think carefully about what you can include in a single picture
to convey as much of the story as possible
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:20, archived)
# I'm thinking the moment the neck snaps
just in case someone wants to buy it for their kids bedroom
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:21, archived)
# Is (s)he still posting?
Is there any semblance of sanity to be found as yet?
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:22, archived)
# We just convinced her there is a British gameshow called "Watch Us Sniff Our Panties"
I take it you've got her on ignore then
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:30, archived)
# Rula Lenska punching Dennis Waterman's lights out?
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18, archived)
# The potato rolls to the foot of the stairs.
Hermes watches it gradually stop rocking. From his position atop a faded velvet chaise longue, Hermes can see past the potato and the stairs to the great hall beyond, where his contemporaries are enthusiastically sodomising each other with vegetables. Hermes sighs and looks the other way, staring through the enormous picture windows at the grounds outside. It is an overcast day and a light rain has soaked the lawns beyond the ha-ha.
His curiosity is piqued by the crude scene of two of the gardeners lewdly gesturing to a parlour maid. The maid, unperturbed, reaches into her shawl for a large carrot, which she snaps with a splitting sound which reaches even Hermes. The gardeners back away and resume their work whilst the maid stalks haughtily away.

Hermes is mightily aroused and immediately retires to his chambers to prepare a sonnet.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:28, archived)
# "prepare a sonnet"?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:35, archived)
# I think it works in context.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:41, archived)
# If Happy Toast isn't interested
I might pitch it to Ultravox for their next video.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:54, archived)
# haha, surefire winner
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:57, archived)
# Something that requires "What's he building in there?" for theme score
(macroscian (1 like), Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:41, archived)
# Rupert Murdoch dying of anal rape by an elephants cock.
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:46, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:27, archived)
# A 61 cm square of canvas
(I helped save b3ta! Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:51, archived)
# you didn't specify straight on
*perspectives*
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:28, archived)
# Ninja willy otters!!!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:56, archived)
# Draw me
like one of your French girls.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:02, archived)
# Draw me a pint of man-gravy please barman!
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:24, archived)
# I'd like to see some trifle being shoved up a cockend and the custard being shat out.
wuv and huggles,
mmps
xxxxxx
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 21:35, archived)