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#

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:17, archived)
# would
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:18, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:19, archived)
# This has to be the 1st scene in one of the strangest pornos ever
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:35, archived)
# What does that bear have on its head?
(Beh3moth The devil's advocaat., Mon 23 Apr 2012, 16:50, archived)
# something about emptying his sack...
(I helped save b3ta! R.Soul hmmm, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 17:59, archived)
# Fake
no tits
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:19, archived)
# Pringles with tits
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:22, archived)
# I'm still not seeing tits here
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:27, archived)
# Isn't the whole thing a dodgy French implant?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:41, archived)
# La boobies malfaisant
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:15, archived)
# Also:
What should I draw the'day?

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:21, archived)
# A crumhorn
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:22, archived)
# an elephant trying to hide its baldness with candyfloss
and fooling nobody, especially the impala hairdresser she has gone to for a shampoo and set
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:23, archived)
# A pissed off Gruffalo
Doing the dishes. But then a troublemaking hobbit bursts in and does a poop on his carpet, forcing him to spend all day cleaning it out its shagpile fabric. Then he drives by the hobbit hole and uses fluorescent magenta paint to draw penises all over it and then rapes all the trees in the garden. He made the saplings watch.

As revenge. Obviously.
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:24, archived)
# A headless, naked cartoon woman, throwing her stick arms up in excitement at the sight of a Guinness-filled lava lamp
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:25, archived)
# Jessie J has been doorstep-papped by the newspapers trying to prove her sexuality one way or the other
In order to maintain her sexual ambiguity, she's contorting herself into a variety of different positions so that they can't see past her into the hallway, where a great dane, two identical vietnamese twins and Richard Madeley are finishing up and wiping themselves down with naan breads left over from the take-out they got the night before
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:25, archived)
# I'd love to see this
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:28, archived)
# ^this
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:43, archived)
# This is quality writing.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:57, archived)
# barry gibb gently but firmly pressing a pillow into Robin's sleeping face
(benito vaselini no not that one, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:26, archived)
# *guilty laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:28, archived)
# haha
^this
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:31, archived)
# Oh yes
this one
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:48, archived)
# Ha ha, this.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:31, archived)
# The terrace is cold, on account of it being very early.
Brenda shivers, but understands that the meeting has to take place outside. Colin is not happy and doesn't sit down. Instead he paces up and down the decking from the patio doors that open into their mock-Tudor mansion to the steps that lead down to the well maintained lawns and the big koi pond in the shade of a crescent of mature willow trees.
His brother Alan, who Brenda never really liked, became suddenly very dead last night dealing with the also dead Peter, a former associate and money-laundering scumbag on the make. This means that there will be a visit from the police later today, and Colin hates the police. His lawyer, Mr Green, is standing on the lawn talking quietly to someone on his phone. To make it worse, the foreigners are here. She can see them getting out of a Mercedes at the front of the house.
They don't use their real names in conversation. Brenda is Liz, the German is Adolf, the Belgian is Poirot and the Italian is Mario. They settle down around the garden table with Brenda, who sends Colin in to get some drinks sorted before he says something stupid. Brenda shivers and wishes she'd put some proper clothes on instead of just throwing on a puffa jacket over her gym clothes.
"There is a problem?" The Belgian says, turning watch Colin leave.
Brenda assures him that there isn't and gets them all sat down around the big patio table. The German lights a cigarette. He is dressed in an grey suit that, whilst clearly expensively tailored, looks like it has been stuffed in the back of a wardrobe for a year. The Italian is wearing jeans and a fleece and wouldn't look out of place on a hike. The Belgian is also smoking. His attire looks like he robbed the bins round the back of Steve Jobs house. The black polo-neck bears a drift of ash from his cigarette. He brushes it away, smearing the ash and making the whole thing worse. He leans forward conspiratorially.
"The shipment will arrive within the hour."
"It has made it all the way here?" asks the Italian. The Belgian nods, smiling.
"And you ready to unload?" says the German, looking at Brenda.
"We're ready. Your boys better be ready to ship it out." she looks around the table at the others as Colin arrives with drinks.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:28, archived)
# A battered submarine makes it's way along the river and steers clumsily into an long abandoned dockyard.
As the war on drugs has escalated, transporting cocaine from South America to the United States and Europe has become an increasingly complex arms race. While drug mules can still be employed and shipments be hidden in a trail of paperwork or welded into false panels of trucks or in panniers under ships, new methods are still developed. A submarine was the next logical step, though a deadly one for the crew. Two of the six crew are dead, poisoned by the vile atmosphere inside. Most of the trip has been made on the surface, but the last few hundred miles into the Irish Sea have been mostly submerged, with only short trips to the surface to navigate and charge the batteries. By the time it reaches the dock, the air inside is acrid. Acid mixed with the smell of human sweat and death. The pilot surfaces and cranks the hatch open to soft, sweet air, to find the dock full of police officers. He raises his hands.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:32, archived)
# Colin is sweating despite the cold. It has all gone so wrong.
His brother is dead and he can't help wondering if it's his fault.
He keeps up the pretence of anger around Brenda, but he's tired. It's why he went to the police in the first place. He never wanted to be rich, never wanted a drug baron for a wife and a big mock-Tudor mansion. He keys the number on his mobile phone and goes to hide in the toilet, leaving the phone ringing out in the downstairs toilet.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:33, archived)
# It's like the sunday omnibus or something!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:48, archived)
# Hmm, it's not as much fun since
JJ started putting Toon Time inside other posts.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:56, archived)
# I know, doesn't feel the same
I like it better when I'm writing filth whilst firmly astride my high horse.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:01, archived)
# ^
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:06, archived)
# I never really liked his brother Alan.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:13, archived)
# a banana taking a shit
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:28, archived)
# ^THIS.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:30, archived)
# Here
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:42, archived)
# Brill.
Sick but brill.
(I helped save b3ta! Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:46, archived)
# Given the amount of fibre he contains
I though he'd not have to strain quite so much...
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:47, archived)
# he has a very,
very tight anus
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:48, archived)
# A Noh theatre performer wearing a kitsune mask.
With tits.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:29, archived)
# A Scarecrow having a knife fight with a Jackdaw
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:29, archived)
# A screaming thing with very long arms
with 3 digits on each hand
*with tits
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:33, archived)
# Mount Doom
with a twist
(Toshiro thinks Chloe is #1, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:35, archived)
#
a twist tits
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:39, archived)
# twits
(Toshiro thinks Chloe is #1, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 16:40, archived)
# Moggy's mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:02, archived)
# Heather Mills using her new dildo-leg on a banana with a very, very tight anus
Whilst a gruffalo stands by shoving a bald elephant's guinness-filled lava lamp up Jessie J's crumhorn
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:03, archived)
# An inexpensive electrical appliance malfunctioning
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:06, archived)
# An irate Dennis Waterman trying to return an out of warranty laptop to PC World
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:09, archived)
# the justin beiber fever ward.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:44, archived)
# Well I... don't know what's happening.
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:22, archived)
# what the...?
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:23, archived)
# why do i want to put my finger in its mouth?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:26, archived)
# Had to be done.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:27, archived)
# ugh
that gives me the creeps
ninja edit
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:28, archived)
# I'm starting to regret it now.
What IS that thing anyway? A pancake? A fart bubble? And why is it not making the fella at the bottom shriek in terror?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:30, archived)
# I think it's a pizza dough base
but it makes me shudder too
(I helped save b3ta! Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:35, archived)
# Yeah, my money's on some sort of food, a pastry, perhaps?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:06, archived)
# the me creeps is the worst kind
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:31, archived)
# lol
i need more coffee. or less of it. i don't know.
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:39, archived)
# There's no such thing as less coffee in my mind :D
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:41, archived)
# gaaAAAAAaah!
D:
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:30, archived)
# Bleurgh!
Why is this so horrible?
(I helped save b3ta! Fluffy elephants, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:33, archived)
# WTH
なんじゃこれ..エイ？　美味しそうなパン？
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:03, archived)
# exactry
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:06, archived)
# XD
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 17:46, archived)
# wb :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:07, archived)
#
Translation: "Eh .. What 's this? Appetizing bread"

I thought you'd left, Moggy?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:07, archived)
# it's hotel b3ta
NOBODY CAN TRULY LEAVE

except LS18.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:09, archived)
#
अंतिम बात मु३ो याद है, मु३ो यहचलाने के उस द्वार के लिएमुझे पता लगाने के पारित होनेके स्थान पर वापस करने से पूर्व मॅँ था"आराम ने कहा," मनुष्य की रात को,"हम प्रोग्राम को प्राप्त कर रहे हैं ।
आप अपेक्षा कर सकते जाँच-आउट आप जैसे किसी भी समय,लेकिन आप कभी भी छुट्टी!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:15, archived)
# christ, he's been snorting the ghee again
dude, sell by dates, sell by dates!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:17, archived)
# *wipes self up with leftover naan bread*
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:19, archived)
# oh my
that's quite the turn on
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:36, archived)
# Ahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 16:13, archived)
#
Добредојдовте на Хотел Калифорнија?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:23, archived)
#
Да
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 16:09, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:24, archived)
# "mammy, what is for supper?"
"PUNCHES TO THE FUCKING FACE"
"yay"
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:34, archived)
# appetizing bread?
could be another mistranslated pop at happytoast
(benito vaselini no not that one, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:11, archived)
# everything is mistranslated as a pop at happytoast
infact it's fair to say that [mod edit]
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:43, archived)
# i've seen the finger cut
datacore.sciflicks.com/predator/sounds/predator_bleeds.wav
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:37, archived)
# Hi Dave
Is it raining in Dusseldorf?
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:14, archived)
#

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:42, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:44, archived)
# ahahahaha
:D
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:49, archived)
# Welcome.
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 16:34, archived)
# HAHAHHHAHAHHAAHHAHAH
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 17:34, archived)
# christ, he's coughed up one hell of a clemmie there
edit: also


(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:06, archived)