
She kept it in the loft,
She stabbed it in the forehead,
Until it's skull went soft.

( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:43,
archived)
She stabbed it in the forehead,
Until it's skull went soft.


I'll wager
Time for a train accident post perhaps?
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:49,
archived)
Time for a train accident post perhaps?

She took it to a wedding
She pinned it up against the wall
And kicked its fucking head in.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:44,
archived)
She pinned it up against the wall
And kicked its fucking head in.

all right then
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a shed
She took it out most every day
And stamped down on it's head.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:48,
archived)
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a shed
She took it out most every day
And stamped down on it's head.

Mary had a little lamb
She often fed it grass
And when no one was looking
She stuck her tongue right up it's arse
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:54,
archived)
She often fed it grass
And when no one was looking
She stuck her tongue right up it's arse

and I is a Suvnor and I speak ver English like wot ver Queen does dunnii?
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:58,
archived)

I like the innocuous first image of little Mary and her snow-white lamb attending a wedding.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:51,
archived)

Its fleece was brown and smelly
Coz whenever mary had a shit
She'd rub it on his belly
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:51,
archived)
Coz whenever mary had a shit
She'd rub it on his belly

it's got one too many syllables in.
maybe if it was "coz when young Mary took a shit".
(what am I saying...)
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:55,
archived)
maybe if it was "coz when young Mary took a shit".
(what am I saying...)

Get rid of the 'had a' bit and it should scan.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:59,
archived)

if you're going to be childish about a bit of constrictive criticism.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:10,
archived)

Mary had a little lamb
and it was always grunting
she tied to a five bar gate
and kicked it's little cunt in
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:22,
archived)
and it was always grunting
she tied to a five bar gate
and kicked it's little cunt in

Sat on her tuffet
Knickers all tattered and torn
It wasnt the spider
that sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue and his horn.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:53,
archived)
Knickers all tattered and torn
It wasnt the spider
that sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue and his horn.

met a pieman going to the fair.
Said simple simon to the pieman
"I can smell your spicy brains!"
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:57,
archived)
Said simple simon to the pieman
"I can smell your spicy brains!"

How does your garden grow?
With silver bells
and cockle shells
and a fucking great wall flower.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:58,
archived)
With silver bells
and cockle shells
and a fucking great wall flower.

Two mice ran up a glass cock
The golfer kissed one
Shoved the other up her bum
And caught the next flight to bangkok.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:02,
archived)
The golfer kissed one
Shoved the other up her bum
And caught the next flight to bangkok.

such a sweet little boy till you joined the b3ta gang
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:49,
archived)

Excellent stuff...
...did you see my reply to your question below?
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:49,
archived)
...did you see my reply to your question below?

Mary Had a little dress,
Twas split right up the front,
And everywhere that mary went,
folk could see her..
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:51,
archived)
Twas split right up the front,
And everywhere that mary went,
folk could see her..

mary had a bicycle
she rode it back-to-front
every time the wheels went round
the spokes went up her....
...nose?
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:55,
archived)
she rode it back-to-front
every time the wheels went round
the spokes went up her....
...nose?

that bicycle would soon become unusable if spokes came off the wheel everytime she rode it.
And her cunt would be in shreds
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:02,
archived)
And her cunt would be in shreds

Mary had a little lamb,
she fed it every day,
but the fucker got too expensive,
so she sold him on eBay.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:58,
archived)
she fed it every day,
but the fucker got too expensive,
so she sold him on eBay.

Marky had a little lamb
He liked it's lamby bum
And every night he'd have his way
With hours of lamby fun
(Sorry. Sincerly. I just wanted to join in. It's not my fault.)
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:06,
archived)
He liked it's lamby bum
And every night he'd have his way
With hours of lamby fun
(Sorry. Sincerly. I just wanted to join in. It's not my fault.)

Jackie Chan's little lamb
Was Kung Fu like his dad
But he fell off a fucking great big building in Hong Kong and exploded
Which made Jackie really sad.
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:08,
archived)
Was Kung Fu like his dad
But he fell off a fucking great big building in Hong Kong and exploded
Which made Jackie really sad.

About the new development in sheep shearing.
They feed them some kinda sheep protein and all their hair falls out.
This also means that they have to wear hair/wool nets.
Are they trying to put us all out of jobs by coming up with mental ideas
and really doing them rather than the make-believe world we seem to live in.
(except futive cos he's real)
( ,
Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:05,
archived)
They feed them some kinda sheep protein and all their hair falls out.
This also means that they have to wear hair/wool nets.
Are they trying to put us all out of jobs by coming up with mental ideas
and really doing them rather than the make-believe world we seem to live in.
(except futive cos he's real)