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# Apologies in advance for legnth: sorry :)

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet

Eating her steak and ale pie.


A dirty old spider sat down beside her.

And put his hand on her thigh.


'Go away you cunt or you'll feel the full brunt

of my parents when i tell.'


The spider unzipped rubbing his tip

slightly exposing his bell.


'You've got some nerve you fucking old perv

this is your fucking last chance.'

'Last chance 'til what? You're stupidly hot

and i'm certain to be in your pants.'


She screamed and wriggled as the spider giggled

and slowly pulled down her tights.

'Preteen and ripe and you've still got some fight

your pussy is still perfect and tight.'


'Someone is coming you'd better get running

they'll scream at just this sight!'

'I don't give a shit this is the bit

where i finally get my reward.'


The spider thrusted her cherry was busted

Miss Muffet in discomfort roared.

'Hairless and fresh this is THE BEST.

I can't wait to blow my load.'


Muffet wriggled free got to her knees

and pushed Spider into the road.

A lorry came past and within a flash

He was a pile of guts and froth.


Muffet layed back very relaxed

and finally finished herself off.

(I helped save b3ta! Nathanial Hornblower, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:30, archived)
# epic!
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:31, archived)
# hahahahah, fucking hell that was epic, and the office is wondering why I am laughing so much for no apparent reason!
it is all a bit "wrong" though :S
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Bloody hell, woo and everything but I also feel a touch wrong now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:32, archived)
# I had trouble with the scansion
and the raping-a-child aspect
but mainly the scansion.

edit: bums. This was meant to be a reply to the OP.
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:46, archived)
# you are correct though
the scansion is all wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:59, archived)
# 0_0
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:32, archived)
# This is wrong in so many ways... :)
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:33, archived)
# that is so sick
I love it
(I helped save b3ta! skeltonator Needs some new daps., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:33, archived)
# fucking hell!

at least Mr spider died happy :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:33, archived)
# o_O
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Blackwolf is sucking diesel on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:33, archived)
#

I'm not sure which bothers me more, the 400k of pictures or the fact that you go on about Miss Muffet being pre teen so much.
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:34, archived)
# they're not in one picture
and if she's not preteen, it doesn'y really matter.
(I helped save b3ta! Nathanial Hornblower, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:42, archived)
# i disagree
it'd be just the same without
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:45, archived)
# That's a difficult one
As wrong as it is, it does make it funnier.
IMO
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:52, archived)
# it would have got a click from me otherwise
and i don't often make that sort of decision :(

different strokes for different folks etc.
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:57, archived)
# I know where you're coming from
I have two kids myself and I did think the same at first, maybe I've just gotten used to the sick humour of my collegues here.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:01, archived)
# god yes
normally it doesn't bother me at all

dunno :(
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:03, archived)
# Rape doesn't really matter if the person is not pre-teen?!?
*puts on rape cloak exits*





(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:56, archived)
# ok so looking like a hairy ball might be where I'm going wrong then...
or maybe it's the bloody lorries
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:35, archived)
# simple answer is
RAPE
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:35, archived)
# no matter how much I dress like a whore no one want's to rape me
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, archived)
# not using punctuation like that, they won't.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:37, archived)
# meh, yeah but when they can see me solve this:

their panties should come down so fast that they get rugburn on their thighs!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, archived)
# c'mon - I was only messing.
Happy Happy Joy Joy!
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:45, archived)
# :) but it's a sure fire winner! I just say p(R) is a step function and then
I multiply through by 2\dot{R}R^2 and they'll be on their backs desperate to accept me.

They will won't they?

I mean I'm not doing this in vain?

There is a reason for my existance?

I will get laid sooner or later?

Won't I?

Hello?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:49, archived)
# *touches inappropriately*
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:51, archived)
# hehe
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:52, archived)
# haha legnth
(I helped save b3ta! Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:35, archived)
# Hahahahaa
Fucking awesome!

*click*
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:35, archived)
# Christ!
Ace.
(tapeworm depressed beyond tablets, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Maximum woo to you!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, archived)
# oh sweet shuddering fuck!!
it is so beautiful yet so disturbing.
Your magnum opus.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Spider rape, spider rape,
does whatever it takes to rape,
Can he swing, from a web?
Yes he can, when he's not commiting rape,
Look out, here comes the spider rape.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, archived)
# haha!
Thanks. Now can you help me explain my highly audible mirth to my colleagues...
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:38, archived)
# not relevant
but how do you post images in an existing thread???? help please.
(I helped save b3ta! skeltonator Needs some new daps., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:39, archived)
# erm
I always do it by just typing the HTML in manually, like this:

<img src="http://www.wibble.com/nicepicture.gif" />
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, archived)
# bugga
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:42, archived)
# I may have been quicker...
but your image URL wins.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, archived)
# yay!!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:44, archived)
# click reply and then cut and paste the image location
< img src="www.spackers.com/myspunkingcockpic.jpg"/ >
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, archived)
# thankyou muchly
clicks.
(I helped save b3ta! skeltonator Needs some new daps., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, archived)
# You need an excuse that's safe for work
so tell them it's donkey porn
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, archived)
# sweet!
thanks!

...

*collects P45*
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, archived)
# Sorry, did I say donkey porn
I meant the website for Companies House. I always get them mixed up.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:45, archived)
# O.o that was a long un...and a wrong un!
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, archived)
# Hahaha
But by recent reasoning you drew a spider and a little girl having sex so you must be a paedo or a furry.

Or both.
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:47, archived)
# I think it's safe if you're both, because the one cancels out the other
(this may not stand up in a court of law)
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:48, archived)
# I'll test it out.
I couldn't give a damn myself. I like most of the pictures on here.

If people don't like cartoons because they have tails then click ignore.
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:51, archived)
# hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:48, archived)
# hahahaha
you are such a young paedo. hahaha that is superb. It is well worth animating.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:54, archived)
# This is excellent
How do I isolate the URL of just this thread? Is there a way?

Also, I can't seem to find an "e-mail to friend" function for this....

I want to keep it for posterity.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:56, archived)
# click "i like this"
and it will be in your profile under posts that you liked.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:57, archived)
# try this
www.b3ta.com/board/8705325

(just click on the white message icon next to the subject).
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:58, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/8705325
^ yeah that
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:58, archived)
# Motherfucking FP this NOW!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:58, archived)
# hahahahaha
*clicks*
*saves a copy*
*prints off and sticks around house*
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:58, archived)
# hahahahaha
fooking pric
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:00, archived)
# pedo fucking spiders.. haha
you loon
(I helped save b3ta! My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:43, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
This is a world of wrong, but very woo.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:45, archived)
# this is why we are all here
this is EXACTLY what our granddads all fought for
(I helped save b3ta! spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:11, archived)