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# *ding*

so it's a lazy sunday - read the paper, roast some vegetables, transplant some herbs. hell, may as well clean out the spam folders from my email accounts, too.

what's this? hatemail sent to me? how unprecedented! why, it seems that someone didn't like my little hallowe'en masks i was giving away for free on craigslist, which is unfortunate. i like giving to my community.

my finger hovers over the reply button, my mind quickly composing a noxious screed. i hesitate, though - what if it's just some b3tan giving me the gears? i instead click the show details button, thinking i'll see some comical address...

...and i'm so glad i checked. barbara, the offended hatemailer, has foolishly used her work email account to send me hatemail! hahaha, foolish barbara! she works at a local television and film production company halfway across town - they have a show on uk tv as well as stuff on here, all of it children's programming. her hatemail, and i quote:

Sick Bastard

These are the most frightening things I have ever seen and you should be
ashamed of yourself. You are absolutely sick.

now, b3tans, i have an opportunity. rich, nourished soil lies in all directions, and i've sown the seeds of many possible responses here, all of them with the potential to grow into great, lurching trees bearing comical and humiliating fruit. i ask you, which of these sprouts should i nourish? what directions are best chosen here?

for those who may be in ris mode, here is the original post on b3ta showing the masks i made, and the posts on craigslist (twice deleted) read as follows:

Hallowe'en masks for small children/babies.

Free to anyone who wants them - I made two small masks (they'd suit a small baby, maybe a microcephalic one best) for a friend but they're a bit too small. Take one or both - if you want them, I'd like to take a few pictures of your kids wearing them so I can judge how to adjust the shape of the next ones. They smell a little funny but not bad.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 1:57, archived)
# However you respond,
make sure you refer to her only as "Babs"
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:01, archived)
# Hang on, what does she mean "These are the most frightening things I have ever seen"?
They're fucking halloween masks! THAT'S THE POINT!
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:11, archived)
# thank you. that was my favourite part of the email.
i think barbara's a few razor blades short of a dangerous apple.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:13, archived)
# What was she searching for to find them, anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:18, archived)
# you use craigslist?
she was probably just clicking around the 'free' category.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:20, archived)
# maybe she got lost on the way to the please fuck me in the ear section
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:48, archived)
# plus,
if they are the most frightening things she's ever seen
she should watch the news
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:27, archived)
# she should be in the news.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:36, archived)
# as some kind of horrible mask victim or something or other or whatever
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:37, archived)
# heh. maybe she's cher and has bad memories of that crap film and her ugly co-star.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:49, archived)
# that wasn't a co-star
it was a mirror
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:54, archived)
# i think i might have the same mirror, some days.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:13, archived)
# i don't know...
...whether to laugh or cry right now.

(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:02, archived)
# i'm laughing, if that helps.
edit: haha!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:08, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:47, archived)
# Highcockingloremishly well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:51, archived)
# She does seem to be correct on all counts there, my boy.
However, she is under the delusion that they are
connected in some way. She is also fucking thick.
Cunt her, cunt her in the fuck--hard, with a hedgehog.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:03, archived)
# oh, she's right. i agree there.
but, she doesn't know that she's right, and she has no idea why she's right. so, i'm going to cause her some existential pain.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:10, archived)
# Indeed so, sah . And may I say 'dogspeed'[sic]!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:17, archived)
# i think extortion might be a part of this plan.
see what her company thinks of hatemail being sent out on company servers.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:21, archived)
# hahaha
more psuedopedophillic language stating that what you do with children with their parent's permission is entirely your business may be called for. Try to relate her love of children with your own.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:30, archived)
# no, that route is probably not good.
it'll just cement her belief that all scary things are bad, bad, bad.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:31, archived)
# I would lead her along a little bit
play the part she's written for you so she can show you the part she's written for herself.

But direct conflict might be sufficient to just show how completely unhinged the woman is.

And maybe pedophilic is not the way to go. Pretending to be a witch might be better.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:34, archived)
# i wonder if i can hire people to picket her company's offices?
that would make the news and confuse everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:37, archived)
# Buy people airfare for people for an America bash
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:39, archived)
# i'm north of there though.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:52, archived)
# It's all America
we can bring up some kids from Bolivia too if the government hasn't turned off the internet to keep protesters from organizing.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:54, archived)
# go on a urinatory rampage around town
dressed in a black robe with a hood, and the mask on your face - scream style.
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:03, archived)
# other than the mask, this is my life.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:14, archived)
# Shit on her
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:03, archived)
# only if she pays well.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:14, archived)
# you have a knack for attracting them, it seems


BTW whatever happened with the snaxeman?
(I helped save b3ta! deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:05, archived)
# hanke and i (and others) suspect he was just fishing for freex, like we were.
i'm giving him time before my next reply.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:09, archived)
# In his last e-mails to me he admitted that he was
more or less
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:22, archived)
# well, all our adventures can't bear fruit.
that's why it's important to spread our tentacles far and wide.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:51, archived)
# I am sorry again if I spoiled any fun for you
I was not thinking
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:55, archived)
# oh hell no!
every time i post something here from craigslist i hope someone here will jump in.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:57, archived)
# THIS BORD IZ 4 PICSHURS!
Me not reeds orl vat!
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:07, archived)
# Ok, I read it. I cant help myself.
Now....
What is this sheilas email address again?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:10, archived)
# oh, no no no...
...that's mine until i finish with her.

i will give it out after, though.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:13, archived)
# Why not sign her up for some spam, too?
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:17, archived)
# COCKSPAM
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:27, archived)
# endgame stuff, but yes.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:37, archived)
# What show?
And this is quite insane. I don't know. Draw out some more of the crazy and send it to her office for interoffice lulz?

Somehow get her to go completely bonkers and do something news worthy? Who knows, maybe she owns the place.

(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:20, archived)
# i'm not going to supply any details yet - i will when i'm through with her and them, though. or close to it.
i may email her coworkers if she gets pissy in reply to whatever i sent her. we'll see....
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:22, archived)
# do you want a serious answer?
first of all, you don't need to apologise for the mask work. the masks are not rude, not offensive, not demeaning or hurtful to the child. (and I really like them)
they are fun and just a tiny bit frightening -- but they're hallowe'en masks, after all. it might be worth emphasising that to her.
secondly, you should inform her that sending abusive email is dashed bad form. it's illegal, in fact. designing hallowe'en masks for children is not.
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:21, archived)
# thanks! and yes, serious or comical answers will do.
that's the crux of it - a person advertising hallowe'en masks was berated for making frightening things! i wonder if she pickets theatres showing horror films.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:25, archived)
# you could, of course,
also cunt her in the fuck.
i merely present this to you as a nalternative.
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:26, archived)
# Anal ternative?
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:30, archived)
# an al tern a tive?
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:45, archived)
# even the comment about 'send pics' isn't dreadful, it's a request for feedback
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:26, archived)
# what sheltered lives some people lead.
 
she clearly wasn't raped often enough as a little girl
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:24, archived)
# and we can remedy that, can't we, boys and girls?
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:25, archived)
# hehehe.
i'm leaning toward urbane legend's suggestion - email her indignantly and ask her if she has mental health issues.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:30, archived)
# or
you could pretend to miss the point and send her a mock form-letter as follows:

Dear Barbara,
Thank you for your email. I'm glad you enjoyed the masks; I hope you and yours have a fun Hallowe'en!
Yours spookily,
Postbear
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:37, archived)
# dear barbara:
i can't understand your email. it was very upsetting to me. as a burn survivor i took the time to make some masks for frinds who had children who'd also suffered in a fire from some hypoallergenic materials because they were going to miss trick-or-treating this year. your email was terrible! we're all upset here and all i wanted to do was bring some joy into the lives of some less-fortunate kids and their families.

i don't know why you'd write such horrible things to me! i'm barely recovered and am still in so much pain already and now this! you should be the one who's ashamed!


that way, if she asks to meet i can make myself loof like a burn victim and wear a big mask similar to these ones (to cover my healing skin) and really creep her out.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:44, archived)
# I belive you do loofa like a burn victim
you poorly exfoliated Canadian pinata
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:52, archived)
# you're so mean!
you sick bastard!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:59, archived)
# oh, I like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:44, archived)
# Suggest that she should take them and keep them and post pictures of herself wearing them to prove that she's kept them
or you're going to make more and give them to children directly without the frustration of craigslist and the internet fun police.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:47, archived)
# heh, and tell her where and when i'm going to do it.
see if she shows up.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:03, archived)
# good greif
that's far too strange
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:24, archived)
# this is why i never understand people who claim to be bored.
how can anyone be bored when the world is completely full of wonder? even if things are a little flat nearby, we have brains that are replete with ideas and magic!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:33, archived)
# that would explain
why so many strange people come from the American Midwest.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:43, archived)
# Make sure she finds a mask on her bed when she wakes up.
Horse head is optional.
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:25, archived)
# i hope she winds up living somewhere nearby.
that could extend the comedy if i suss that out.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:33, archived)
# Take a picture of yourself wearing one of the masks and wanking.
Post a Craigslist ad looking for hot guys to come over and wear the masks and wank with you.

Use Barbara's e-mail as the reply address.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:27, archived)
# heh, while fun, that would be the endgame.
first i want to mess with her mind.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:34, archived)
# i don't really get it.
what makes these masks so scary? i feel really stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:31, archived)
# prezactly.
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:33, archived)
# You're well stupid, Dyslexia
go away
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:36, archived)
# i am going to hang myself with my belt.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:37, archived)
# no don't do that
your pants will fall down! ha ha ha ha.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:38, archived)
# wank while you're hanging
it's literally the ultimate thrill
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:40, archived)
# just ask michael hutchence!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:42, archived)
# chance'd be a fine thing
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:43, archived)
# chance
or the ability to speak with the dead!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:43, archived)
# i can already speak to the dead.
they don't answer though
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:48, archived)
# well, scary is subjective. i'll cut people a little slack on that.
i think barbara's a bit delicate and underexposed to the truly frightful things this world holds.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:36, archived)
# no no i mean like what are these maks meant to be?
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:37, archived)
# clearly they resemble her parents or her uncle gropey.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:39, archived)
# hahaha. of course.
are these just like shoe liners or something? tape left overs?
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:40, archived)
# did you read the original thread?
they're the tape i peeled off my feet that my physiotherapist put on me to correct my falling arches.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:47, archived)
# Your eye is keen as well, Doc.
A bit of both.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:48, archived)
# i don't think they're sposed to 'be' anything.
they're just semi-spooky hallowe'en masks for kids.
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:40, archived)
# jeezum craw!!!
what can i say? Gags on Barbara?
Keep em coming PB!
And as per im about to hit the fart sack - cya some other time!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:41, archived)
# missing you already!
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:42, archived)
# hahahahaha
gags on you - i've not even left!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:43, archived)
# o shit
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:43, archived)
# curses!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:47, archived)
# zounds!
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:53, archived)
# A fantastic word, IMO.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:55, archived)
# IMO, too.
along with 'crivens' and 'by jove'
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:58, archived)
# I've not used either of those yet.
I will correct this error, by Jove! thx.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:02, archived)
# thanks zank!
sleep well!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:45, archived)
# *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:46, archived)
# Introduce her to Microwave.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:42, archived)
# where is Microwave...
...i've been waiting for another episode.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:44, archived)
# Add him as a Friend, then you'll never miss one!
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:46, archived)
# good idea...
...doy!...:)
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:48, archived)
# haha, i think a lot of b3ta would send her over the brink.
imagine her seeing rev. jesse's stuff....
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:48, archived)
# HAHAHAHA!!!! Link one into each email you send.
Happy Halloween!!
*plays bow saw trills*
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 2:53, archived)
# at the very end i'll put the mask on a melon and send her a video of me fucking it.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:08, archived)
# well, i'd buy it
(I helped save b3ta! deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:14, archived)
# you sick freak.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:16, archived)
# Be sure to TOAP that...
"Wish you were here."
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:15, archived)
# heh.
"this could be YOUR child."
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:22, archived)
# THAT IS A QUALITY HEDGEHOG!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:27, archived)
# HERE IS PROOF IF PROOF WERE NEEDED
OF WHAT A VERY BAD MAN YOU ARE MR POSTBEAR
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:15, archived)
# KILL KILL KILL FOR INNER PEACE AND MENTAL HEALTH.
you needed proof? haven't you read any of my posts here?

also: all these posts and not once did someone note that i'd used comic sans.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:19, archived)
# haha didn't you get the memo?
It's cool again.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:34, archived)
# dear barbafaha:
i would like to delete all the fonts from my computer except for comic sans. is this possible and is it easy enough for me to do or must i call tech support?

best,

mm.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 3:38, archived)
# I'd:
1) Make a (small) effigy.

2) Write "Babs" on it.

3) Put the mask on it.

4) Hang the effigy outside her work building somewhere so she can't miss it when she goes to work.

5) ????

6) Profit.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:04, archived)
# that could be fun.
for me. terrifying for her.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:13, archived)
# Of course, it'd have to involve waiting in a parked car while peole are coming to work

and video taping the whole thing.

Then emailing her the video in a discreet anonymous package.

Maybe include another masked effigy in the package.

That'll also conveniently take care of your two masks :)
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:20, archived)
# i don't have a car. can i do it from my bike?
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:29, archived)
# from the bushes.
 
where all greatness begins.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:34, archived)
# *enters bushes*
*trips over george michael, hugh grant and many, many others*
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:40, archived)
# You've got the added bonus of hedgerow porn too in there.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:49, archived)
# Only if you're wearing a mask and you're in plain sight.


Fair's fair.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 4:45, archived)
# can i carry a chainsaw?
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 5:54, archived)
# Well since you know the name of her employer
just write them a letter and snail-mail them a formal complaint.

Dear TVPeopleCEO,

I recently advertised some handicrafts on craigslist. A labour of love being offered freely to the community as a labour of love.

Your employee (namehere) chose to abuse me via email from your company. Is this kind of behaviour endorsed by your firm? I am insulted by this communication and demand an apology.

Sincerely,
P.Bear Esq.
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 5:41, archived)
# something like that will be move # 2.
i'll be emailing barbara herself first.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 5:51, archived)
# I think a king kit like that should be the first and final.
Otherwise it won't have the same punch. Her boss will raise it with her and she'll say "but he emailed me and didn't say anything about it then..." or whatever.

Shoot at me once, I carpet bomb your city.
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 6:00, archived)
# you have a point there.
hmmm. much depends on the reactions of people i do not know. it's a gamble either way - both options could provide much mirth or just end up flat.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 6:04, archived)
# I'd interpret this as an expression of interest rather than any sort of hatemail.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 8:06, archived)
# Why not...
...email her and tell her you've made one specially for her, and that you would like to deliver it in person, particularly as you have been unwise enough to use a work email address, by which you can easily track her down. Wish her a nice day, and say you anxiously await her reply with times when she will be at work to take posession of the gift.
/snort!
(I helped save b3ta! Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 8:26, archived)