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# took me awhile to spot it
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:55, archived)
# Really? Cos it's FUCKING MASSIVE!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:56, archived)
# Wampa says no!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! hYpe is haunted by humans, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:03, archived)
# Rip off 'is arms!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:09, archived)
# Wampa Wampa
Stick it up your jampa.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:11, archived)
# HaHaHa!
This rules!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:56, archived)
# what the fuck?!?!? is it cock wednesday or somehting?
FUCK OFF, YOU DICK!!
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:56, archived)
# I just got it
It's a goatsie RP.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:43, archived)
# is this yours?

no it's not, Fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:56, archived)
# pardon?
I mean 'is this yours?'
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:56, archived)
# is this yours?
.
(great scrot! i aint afraid of no goatse, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:58, archived)
# Wow, that's huge.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:57, archived)
# THAT'S WHAT SHE SA...
oh
(I helped save b3ta! weaver., Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:03, archived)
# and hotlinked
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# Can you feel the fail tonight?
*stops singing* everyone can remove their ear defenders now
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:58, archived)
# chip thing could some what be said to look like a goatsee?
well done?
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:58, archived)
# thats the only thing I can see...
but its a bit tenuous if that is meant to be the joke.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:05, archived)
# Holy mother of cnut
Brings Credit card sized to a whole new moon sized level
(I helped save b3ta! johnselekta last posted something equally unfunny on or before, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:00, archived)
# *clears throat*
yooooooooooooooooou are a cuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuunt
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:03, archived)
# Hello. For more background to these ^ comments, see below (6, 7, 11). Hope that helps.
Essence of the rules for /board, culled from the FAQ, spiced with experience:

Golden rules (especially for n00bs):
1. Read the FAQ! Or you'll get shouted at.
2. If you make a mistake, be ready to say "oops, sorry!": it really helps. Don't be cocky: it makes you look like a cock.

New threads are precious:
3. Don't start a new thread unless your post is new and worth it.
- If it isn't, use "Reply" in an existing thread (or make your image better!).
- /board only holds 15 threads: each click of "Post a new message" pushes other people's work off the bottom.
4. If you're re-posting: do NOT start a new thread!
- Especially not for compo reposts: Reply lets you choose "challenge entry" too.
5. If you want to post more, use Reply in your existing thread (if it's still on the board). Don't start multiple new threads: it's greedy.

Images:
6. Only post stuff that you made.
7. Only post stuff that you uploaded (don't leach).
8. Don't post unmodified photos.
9. Don't post NSFW.
10. Not bigger than 100k bytes (50k preferred). Anims: not more than 400k.
11. Not more than 700px wide.
- If it's too big, compress it until it's small enough.
- If it's still too big, link it instead (using: <a href="blah.jpg">, instead of <img src="blah.jpg">).

If you cock up:
12. Never use Delete (it also removes everyone's replies!): use the Edit button instead.
13. If you started a new thread by accident, say sorry. (And don't delete it!).

NSFW:
Whatever you put in a message will be downloaded and seen by all b3ta readers, often on their work computer. You could get someone sacked on the spot, or put through a disciplinary investigation that's not much better, because their manager thought it looked a bit like porn from 10 feet away. Do not do it. (For the record all these are no defence: "it isn't actually porn", "you can't see his/her whatever", "you're such a prude", "but no-one complained about this one *points at some-other-image*"). You can link a NSFW image (using: <a href="blah.jpg">), but warn people that it's a NSFW link.

This is just a summary, hopefully useful as a quick checklist when posting. I welcome suggestions for improving it.

Edit: now saved for eternity as a Top Tip.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:04, archived)
# *frames*
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:15, archived)
# *laminates*
(I helped save b3ta! WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:23, archived)
# *Staples to forehead*
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:48, archived)
# Hmmm, I've been trying to think of a way to do that.
I think I'll make it a Top Tip. One mo...
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:49, archived)
# Thanks for that ...
... explains a lot I hadn't previously grasped.
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:49, archived)
# EXPLAIN!!!!????? Buuhh...
...no, only kidding. Thanks -- that's what I was hoping for :-)

The FAQ is lulleh and fluffeh, and sets a really nice welcoming tone. However, perhaps because at 8 pages it's quite a lot to wade through, all too many n00bs (and even old-timey lurkers) forget this or that detail, and get hoooge flamage. All a bit unfair, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 13:09, archived)
# Could you make it slightly bigger please?
I want to look at it from 3 miles away instead of my current 2 miles.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:04, archived)
# You have one minute to reach minimum safe distance
Nuke it from orbit. You know the drill
(I helped save b3ta! Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:50, archived)
# why am i looking at an unnecisarily oversized credit card?
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:08, archived)
# Because you scrolled down slightly...
And then you stopped, probably to wonder why, and you haven't started scrolling down again yet.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:09, archived)
# Is that because you live on the FUCKING MOON?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:09, archived)
# hahahah
a
(I helped save b3ta! WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:29, archived)
# it took you a while to spot something you made yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:12, archived)
# You don't fool me, Julie Moult!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:12, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:15, archived)
# Congratulations. No, really, I am very impressed. It's very good news. I'm genuinely happy. Look, this is my happy face.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:14, archived)
# HEY!
It did take him a while to spot it
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:17, archived)
# took me a while too. Mainly as it took an age to load, and I had to scroll through it.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:20, archived)
# YOU'RE B&!
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:21, archived)
# this?


THATS HUGE YOU COCKMUNCH
(I helped save b3ta! sumdarkplace is what really killed the radio star, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:24, archived)
# Sorry I'm late, I decided I needed a knew HUGE! GIF
I decided I needed a knew HUGE! GIF
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 12:42, archived)
# And the irony of course is, that this is 200k bigger
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 13:24, archived)
# jeeaz, everyone's a critic today...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 13:33, archived)
# Sorry, don't mind me, I'm just being an irritable cunt today
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)