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# I've had a productive last morning of work:


Clicking brings bigness

This is my leaving pressie for the company.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
# \o/ this is brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
# I have been learning from the masters
in you and Rev. Jesse...

This one is mroe in homage to your style.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
# :D well thankyou.
It's rather excellent- I'm going to have trouble keeping up with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
# Oh you!
*blushes*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# *handseats*
'ning lully Cap'n!
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
# HELLO PETAL!
*big cuddle*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
# I hear I'm a poppet: :P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:41, archived)
# Of course you are.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
# Shhh
I don't want people thinking I nice!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
# HE'S A WANKER, EVERYONE.
a big lummox of a sweetheart wanker, but still
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
# It's about time I got the printer scrubber up:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
# needs more stool on top of desk.
Woo!

And good luck sorting it all out.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
# I only have a swivel cha...
...

you flithy bastard!

:D
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:36, archived)
# Is it entitled
"This is what you did to me"?

Lovely work, sir.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
# stop pissing on me
I'm not Dutch!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
# We can piss on the dutch?
Oh Mediocre..... *goes off to find him*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
# No you feckin can't!!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
# :-( not even if I was really ill?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Well, I'd really rather you didn't...
am I misunderstanding something here?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
# If I'm really ill and dying, and I lose bladder control and you're carrying me
and you go 'ewwww' and put me down, I'll be really upset.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
# No, of course I wouldn't!!!.
Don't be a nana.

I thought this might relate to some bizarre practice I have little knowledge of, that's all.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
# I don't wee on people for fun, if that's what you mean.
Nu-uh. Not my bag, baby.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
# just tie them up and beat them with big leather straps
....

I might need to go for a lie down now.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:46, archived)
# I say!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:46, archived)
# Beating them would mean paying attention.
Keep them in the cupboard and take them out when you need their services.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
# I wish I had a top sexy bloke in my cupboard for such emergencies
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:49, archived)
# I bet k3b/-\b would be up for that...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
# You paid attention to the wish, right?
b3th- some of those polish immigrants are quite swarthy and lush, get one of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
# evens money at William Hill
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
# yes, and with my decreasing gut and boob size
my honed intellect and sweet nature I am getting close to satisfying the other criteria.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 1 May 2009, 13:09, archived)
# Moving right along...
I'd make a very good nurse.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
# I think you would too, you're very caring.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
# *mwah*
You're a lovely pickle, do you know that?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
# :D I try
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
# But I am!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
# Now, you see...
I did not know that.

I just have some strange 'information' about Dutch taste in certain 'practices'.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
# Ah, I see.
I suspect it's not a specifically Dutch thing....

probably got it from the Germans anyway

/standard excuse for everything negative....
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
# I tell you who I used to hate when I lived in Germany
that big fat Dutch bloke who used to do talent shows and things. He may have been called Harold.

Oh, and the silly bint who did the mini pops singing show thing.

However, despite an alarming intolerance for dairy, I have been known to suffer extreme pain for the sake of a nice Maasdam sammich.

EDIT: The Dutch bint was Marijke Amado and the show was Mini Playback Show.

*traumatic flashbacks*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
# My guilty fast food treat is
Pre-Sliced Spijkerkaas, which is maninly rubbish generic cheese, but with Caraway seed in it.

Makes great sandwiches.

The TV I try not to think about, it's so desperately bad. Don't forget John De Mol* is to blame for Big Brother.

Edit: The guy who set up Endemol Productions....
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:56, archived)
# To be fair
Big Brother was a pretty good idea, in an interesting, psychological experiment type of way.

It just didn't merit a second series series. Or the major hype it has engendered. Or Jade Goody, my she rest in peace, God's little angel.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
# Note to self: Holland is a top pickup spot
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
# Thanks for the top tip
what?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
# Where?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
# Well, you said Holland,
So I'm guessing there, yes?

Edit: OK, maybe you didn't then.....

(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
# with a big label underneath it which readds:
"See this, you bastards? This is what you've done to me! Are you happy now?"

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
# Here's the mop...
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# thanks
just stick it up my arse, I'll clean as I go, shall I?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:41, archived)
# You missed a bit - c'mon....
At least do it properly!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
# why break the habit of a lifetime
/slacker blog
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
# Hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
# mmmmmnnnuuuummmmmfffffff and I'm done.
Can you bring that mop over here?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
# Is that you?
What are you doing tomorrow night sexy?

I can vanity shop as well
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
# Yup
I'll be in Luton of all places...

EDIT: Awesome beard work... you must have some quality brushes...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
# Damn babydoll, pity I'm not going to be in Luton or you could have a ride on my face.
edit, awesome brushes? nah I just comb it from time to time
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# You'd better have a damn good reason for being
there......
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Closer to me, innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
# *looks it up*
Ah!

I never knew where your town of residence actually was...

Now I do.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
# Despite it's proximity to Lutonm and Wycombe, it's not *that* bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
# It's also near Oxford though, which is lully, despite the students...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
# And the others that live there
I'm in Oxford tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
# SO AM IIIIIIII
gig in the cellar
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:17, archived)
# Visiting friends who, despite being able to escape it, haven't...
Their loss...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
# It's a scary place.
populated by...... Vans
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
# :D
And concrete.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
# hey, me too
but mine is shit:


In fact, just forget you saw it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
# I know a good chimney sweep
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
# does he have a cock-er-ney accent
and solve murders in his spare time?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
# mine's not overly great


you've got SUCH nice teeth. What a cow.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
# Phwoar!
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
# Shhh :)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
# *gets funny feelings he doesn't understand*
*saves pic into the special files*

OH GOD!!!

THE SPECIAL FILES!!!!

AND I'VE GOT NO BACKUP!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
# email them to me or something.
Hang on, don't. Don't email porn to me. Work will frown.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
# To be honest, I've only got music stored in work...
When confronted with pretty b3tans my usual response is to forget about it and move on while uttering

"I HAVE a wife, I HAVE a wife, I HAVE a wife"
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
# Who I recognise, for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
# o_O
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
# Yeah, I know.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
# You know, a lot of people say that to me, and I really hate them
In other news, you make an awesome zombie.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
# Sorry, don't hate me
I've just got wonky teeth, so I'm jealous.

Ta, also :D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:56, archived)
# ha ha ha
I meant I hate my teeth, you mentalist

In fact, there's not much about my whole face (or in fact, body) I do like.

/majot body dysmorphia blog
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
# Oh I hear THAT, yo
I think you're rather a lovely looking lady, if you don't mind me saying.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
# *blushes*
as are you, petal.

As far as I can tell, that is. You make a good job of not appearing fully in your photos.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
# Yeah, I've got a massive arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
# If you actually look like that picture up there
a massive arse is the least of your image problems.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
# :D because I've got such a shit face
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:34, archived)
# splendiferous
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:36, archived)
# Woo*
*Now with added yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
# hahah great
DEAR BOSS, I AM GOING TO SICK VOMIT ON YOUR FACE
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
#
VOMIT INFECTED ZOMBIE BLOOD

GRAGH!!!!

*lurches*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
# utterly brilliant, sir!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# why are you leaving?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Not paid since February...
Told that drinking water is an 'unneccesary commodity'
Expected to keep working despite being unable to afford to travel to the office
Nothing to do all day due to them losing biggest (only) client

That's for starters...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
# yea worked for people like that...
I'm looking into starting up for myself..
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
# Still... I can look forward to a career in teaching kids now...
the poor sods...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
# good luck


to them
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:56, archived)
# wahey!
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
# Nice zombie-ry!
Woo to the yay.
(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
# this is frighteningly beautiful :)
clicks
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Fri 1 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
# I 'shopped in the beautiful....
couldn't do much about the frightening though...

:D
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 1 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
# Nicely, sir
:)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:02, archived)