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Read This If You Need Extra Cash$$$$

MAKE EASY MONEY!!! IT REALLY WORK!!! ***deleted by rob***

(Shikaku Namja, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:00, archived)

ow...

head hurt. =(

(IsDelicious, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:06, archived)

$ dont work in england

but i can see the logic

maybe rob should start one up using sterling

(rik, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:44, archived)

"I know public opinion on all this mail-order crap and get rich scheming but here’s one that will work"

let us take a moment to POUR SCORN on that sentence.

pyramid schemes are dumb. end of.

(

spacefish bong!, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 23:12, archived)

oh sorry, i missed

"it is virtually no risk"

hmmm... i like the use of the word "virtually." it's kind of like saying "please ignore this sentence, it is wrong."

(

spacefish bong!, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 23:19, archived)

I have some more scorn

consider it poured.
Mind you - if anyone can bother reading all that, they deserve some cash for perseverance.

(

pep, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:54, archived)

You could always

post him some scorn. I believe it looks a bit like talc...

(

Wifey, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 4:08, archived)

hey, ive seen ads in the paper like that before

(sorgboi, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:56, archived)

wow, this is impressive

you know, I'd be carefull where I put my home adress around here. it's asking to get something odd in the mail....

(IncoherentDischarge, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 0:27, archived)

YES

SEND YOUR MONEY TO NUMBER ONE. NOW!

(

Wifey, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 2:57, archived)

Arse

just realised I should have made that no 6...

(

Wifey, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 4:02, archived)

christ

that snowboarding game is the dogs bollox wwoooooo wwooooooo

(rik, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:53, archived)

Boxing cats, anyone?

http://www.punchbaby.com/media/laters/clips/funny/boxingcats.mpg

(milk_explosion, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:28, archived)

How

big is this mpeg file?

(tylrdiablos, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:56, archived)

trying to work on a website

of my own.. *bang* *bang*

why is it it's easier for a client?

i could do anything. any colour. for any browser.

but noooo.. brain dead now, aren't we?

fucking ants.

(sorgboi, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:12, archived)

i know

exactly how you feel. That's why my 2 domains are currently... holding pages.
woo.
ahem.

(

pep, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:58, archived)

As are mine.

Sad isn't?

(

blah, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 5:58, archived)

the site now has a name! woo!

a holding page with a name.. hmm

(sorgboi, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 18:40, archived)

woo - and indeed, creepy-yay...

http://www.fiendation.com/people/unabomb/unabomb.htm

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:08, archived)

He looks

worryingly welsh.

(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 5:14, archived)

So does your ma, she looks welsh as nought ye pure bass.
ps tony heart is tidy.

(Mr money bags, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 6:53, archived)

for you...

Hope you like!

(

pete, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:49, archived)

B3ta Interview: What should we ask Tony Hart?

I've been working hard emailing people all over the place, and Tony Hart has agreed to be interviewed by B3ta. What should we ask him? (We'll take the best questions and ask him those.)

(

rob, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:48, archived)

Do you remember

the first time you ever drew a crab?

(

pete, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:50, archived)

is he still friends

with morph? and if so where does he live?

and why is it when i was a kid i grew up in the capable hands of him & could draw quite nicely thankoo, but now i draw like a spastic?

(sorgboi, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:00, archived)

Brill!

Did he ever squash morph, or try to damage him in any way?

(

Wifey, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:00, archived)

Has he seen

the b3ta version of the gallery. Isn't it fantastic?

(

Wifey, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:02, archived)

ask

is it true that only mad people can draw a perfect circle freehand?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:10, archived)

Morph

Where you high when you devised Morph and his friends?

(

follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:21, archived)

ooh!

Did you write the gallery music yourself?

(Twisted_Becca, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:23, archived)

The Gallery Music

The Gallery Music was the theme from Deerhunter. . .and it might have been a classical piece before that, but I'm not edgercatered enough to know

(Jimmyjames, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 20:19, archived)

The Caretaker dude

Whatever happened to your caretaker mate? I heard he joined the Russian Army in 1987.

(

follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:23, archived)

Mr. Bennett (was caretaker dude)

I may be seeing things, in fact i'm sure I am otherwise posting this would be a lot harder, but Mr. Bennett is currently apearing in the TV Go Home programme on E4.

Seems to have overcome his typecasting at last ;)

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:17, archived)

Yes

I saw him last night doing "victims" on tvgh. very evil he was too. it's good, because I remember him doing a really late night show talking to people who ran all night garages and stuff in the street when I was at college, which seemed a shame for someone who played such a pivotal role in my childhood.

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:23, archived)

ahhhhh!

I remember that!

Late night C4 has provided so much quality stuff over the years. I don't think i realised it was him though, thinking back it certainly was.

I haven't seen Mags in anything though.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:32, archived)

I love badgers

What colour is blue?

(

follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:24, archived)

what do you think of computers being used to make art?

and if you could sum up crabs in one word what would it be?

(Naughty Tortoise, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:43, archived)

Mr. Hart

Why did you never show any of my pictures?

(Zannusi Beatz, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:02, archived)

what

has he done to save the rain forests?

(olaf, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:59, archived)

Hart to Hart

Was Jonathan Hart in Hart to Hart your brother? If so, were you jealous of him being married to Stephanie Powers and being a crime-fighting millionaire, or were you happy anyway?

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:20, archived)

Neil Buchanan

Do you resent Neil Buchanan's potentially offensively titled show Art Attack? Yours were much nicer in their nomenclature. If you suffered from coronary disease would you complain?

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:24, archived)

Tony Tony Tony

Do you think you could take Rolf Harris in a fight?

Fnord.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:25, archived)

Please? Pretty Please?

Please could you draw me a crab? That would make me the happiest person alive. I would be so proud.

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:25, archived)

Do you approve of digital art?

Or do you think it doesn't count in the same way as "real" drawings and paintings?

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:27, archived)

Digital Art

It's odd reading that question when you can clearly see the Art Angel Gabriel below (on the messageboard).

You don't get that with paints and crayons.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:39, archived)

oy crab!!!! that was my question!!!

posted then. Sun 9 Dec 15:43.

so grrr at you, tainted by crabby power i see.

(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 14:55, archived)

Your Head

Tony, if I were to take your head, and put it on some random animal. What animal would you want it to be?

(IncoherentDischarge, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 12:49, archived)

What is better:

blutac or contact lenses?

(

spacefish bong!, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 14:29, archived)

Hmm....

If you had three wishes, what's 54 x 38?

(OtaKuno, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 15:22, archived)

What's your favourite medium

Paint, tin foil, pasta or washing up bottles swinging around on string?

(

nicey, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 15:47, archived)

on the gallery

would there have been any bias on what was used if a child submitted a video of a performance piece they'd done featuring a monkey driving a lawnmower, or turned the lights on and off.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 17:03, archived)

tony

what do you do nowadays??

(cold, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 17:05, archived)

do you think

one of the reasons the show went from being aimed at deaf viewers to all kids, was that the gallery music was so good?

Do you think the speedbrush you used to use on big pictures could be emulated on Photoshop and thus put us designers out of work or make us get paid for nothing if we keep it secret?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 17:07, archived)

tony hart question

ask him, if he think the element of uncirtainty introduced into quantum theory by wave mechanics means there is an ultimate limit to human evelution. or maybe if he prefers a H2 or B2 pencil.

(Hentai zombie, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:20, archived)

Any idea`s

where I can download the gallery mp3? Kinda turns me on.....er i mean, it relaxes me

(tylrdiablos, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:52, archived)

There are links to it

from tony's homepage, above.

(

Wifey, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 2:03, archived)

My question:

When did you lose your virginity?

(TuffPirat, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 19:13, archived)

Question #287934

When elected President of the United States of America, what will you do for this country?

(Tibika, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 22:05, archived)

...

Hmmm, Tony, when discussing the Gallery pictures, did you ever really feel like saying - " God, this picture of the Eiffel tower made from spaghetti and silver spray paint is actually .... quite awful! I'm ashamed to see the children of today are incapable of creating art from anything other than dry foodstuffs!" - but had to resort to saying " this is a wonderful textured image of the Eiffel Tower, it really stands out of the page", because you weren't allowed to criticise the children's artwork?

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 1:14, archived)

Gurkha officer to telly artist ...

How ?
(are there hundreds of ex-gurkhas in the world of art, or is the man unique ?)

(anat0010, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:19, archived)

Was morph

chucked back in the plasticine bucket every week?

(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:45, archived)

Was morph

that brownish colour because he was an amalgamation of all the colours in plasticine bin (kind of like the same colour as all my plasticine 2 hours after the packet was opened).

(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:50, archived)

Was

morph's friend based on my brother? It really used to confuse me as a child.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:57, archived)

On Tony's website he draws pics for people (Hartoons)

where's ours where's ours where's ours...

(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 4:26, archived)

when did you first

wear a cravatte. Where's a good place to purchase them?

(

Jay, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 7:39, archived)

my questions:

what you do think of Turner Prize winner Martin Creed?

Do you think the electrician who made it should actually've won instead of the man that thought of it? (did you think the wiring was done by Mr Bennet?)

Do you actually like that kind of art?

What's the bigggest, and the smallest things you've ever drawn - and what did you draw them with?

What's your favourite childrens book?

Did anyone send a picture in for the Gallery who then went on to become famous artists (or famous anything for that matter?)

What's your favourite name you've ever heard for a colour.

How old was the oldest entrant for the gallery?

(

pep, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 10:17, archived)

I am from Bracknell

and it's always been widely believed amongst Bracknellians that Tony Hart is a Bracknellian too (thus justifying their existence). Are you a Bracknellian? I have seen you in the town centre once, and I also saw you paint a big picture of a fox and a moon and other stuff above Boots at the Bracknell Carnival, I think in 1983.

(markyb, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 10:20, archived)

Question for Mr. Heart

Have you had any accidents invloving paint and such like materials

(spatchcock, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 12:08, archived)

Have you ever thought of...

...having Morph and his friends have a death match?

(

JamboM, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 12:22, archived)

If you could go back

and redo any of your programs, which would you redo, what would you change and why?

(

chimpy, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:18, archived)

Did Tony Ever...

...try to mould Morph into a cock+bollocks? Or a poo?

And did he ever shove Morph's head up one of his nostrils, for a laugh? Or tear one of Morph's legs off and stick it to his head? Or try starving him?

(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:08, archived)

is it true?

Is it true that Morph and his friends were actually modelled out of rabbit poo?

(addict, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 5:43, archived)

...

Daddy or Chips?

(

man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 14:03, archived)

tony hart

I remember when I was younger watching this twat boast that he could say his name using parts of his body (toe, knee and heart)he then said try doing it with your name. Does he know anyone else who can do that?

(Paul Quine, Wed 12 Dec 2001, 4:51, archived)

Yey!

My contribution to the challenge.
It's a bit pathetic but hey!
Best I can do.
www.geocities.com/becca_dt/b3ta.html

(Twisted_Becca, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 5:36, archived)

animated gif masturbate angel

(buskila, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 5:27, archived)

Woo!

I'm up to level 23 in the laser game! I'll try to finish it later. But right now it's very late and I should have been working instead of fiddling about with lasers.

(thellama73, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 1:03, archived)

Help me please.

I am fairly new at this or I am a complete asshole that doesn't know anything. Ok well I keep on trying to upload this fat-assed cunt in to the "Kill Your Friends Game" and it doesn't work. The photo is JPEG. Thanks

Anzie

(Anzie, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 0:57, archived)

make sure there's

no spaces in the filename, and that it's not a huge file. that'll do it. Oh yes, and also remember to make sure it has .jpg at the end- it won't recognise it without the file extension (eg if you're working on a mac you may have to put it in).

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 4:36, archived)

nah... kill your friend is fucked

and not likely to be fixed in the near future.

(

rob, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:11, archived)

that's a shame. oh well.

(

crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:33, archived)

Thanks you all!

I really mean it!

(Anzie, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 21:42, archived)

anyone

listning to orchard fm>>??

(rik, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 20:24, archived)

wooooooooo clicky....

anyone up??? pep??? DOES ANYONE CARE...i get my graphics tab on tuesday so i need some projects.....helppppp me!!!

(rik, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 19:49, archived)

would you like to

do some shape animals for the upcoming shape farm?

(

crab_bloke), Sat 8 Dec 2001, 19:59, archived)

i made a retangular reggae spider but no one seamed to notice it

ummmm i put the whole message in the box above....wooooooo clicky

(rik, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 20:12, archived)

i must admit

it was crap but ive only just got macromedia flash so ummm blahhhhh

(rik, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 20:16, archived)

I can't do any of this photoshop stuff

but surely it's screaming out that someone does an "Anal Lova" (ahem) entry?

(Bill Slater, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 18:56, archived)

bill m8

photoshopping is easy...its when u get to crab blokes flash status it starts to get hard

(rik, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 20:14, archived)

Errrm..

Somebody has haven't they?

(

man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:01, archived)

Reflections laser game...

Hi all,

Due to the fact that I have been housebound all weekend because of flu (please all get your violins out !)... I've been having a go at the laser game. I am currently stuck on level 10 and it is annoying the hell outa me. If anyone has tackled this game and got past this level, I would be forever in your debt if you could share your genius with me !!

Many thanks... Ang x (sniffle !)

(Angela, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 18:11, archived)

right

just hide behind a large ca...let them shoot the cat then wiggle your bum...the wiggling will put them off and there you have it...your past the level.....are we talking about the same game?

(rik, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 19:56, archived)

Level eleven

was as far as I could get. I decided to quit before my brain exploded.

(thellama73, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 20:49, archived)

mind bening lasers

So level 10 is actually possible then ?? please could you shed some light before I pull all my hair out !!!

Many thanks... Ang xxx

(Angela, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 19:11, archived)

Rob loves you!

More Story, More Action, More Fuck is this enough???

I dont like it ... its to fast !!!

http://home.arcor.de/foxya/Film8.html

.

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 13:44, archived)

P.S

It don't work!!

(George, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 13:53, archived)

hmm

try again

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:00, archived)

Der Fuchs Der A

Wirklich ein gelungenes Machwerk. Ich gratuliere Ihnen, sie sind dem deutschen Volke ewiges Vorbild.

(Dr. Cornelius Schnitzel, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:09, archived)

Das denke ich aber auch!

You freaky little monkey

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:15, archived)

Ach, denken Sie!

Leberwörst.

(Dr. Cornelius Schnitzel, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:17, archived)

Ja!

For great justice

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:19, archived)

Sie und ihr Leistenbruch-English.

Ich halte mich da lieber vornehm zurück.

(Dr. Cornelius Schnitzel, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:20, archived)

Ja ja ich weiss ... aber besser als gar nichts

One two three out are you

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:22, archived)

Was meinen sie, wie weit kommen wir nach rechts?

Es wäre interessant.

(Dr. Cornelius Schnitzel, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:24, archived)

ich frag mich eher wie die auf nur deutsch reagieren

Peter Paul and Marry are planning a bankrobbery

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:25, archived)

Oh, ja.

Jetzt wo sie es sagen.
Außerdem ist dies seit einiger Zeit der einzige längere Forumsbeitrag. Das fällt auf. Hoffentlich negativ.

(Dr. Cornelius Schnitzel, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 14:29, archived)

I think this entire site

should be made into a ananova parody.
i know its old hat but still....its very apt at the mo.
woo clicky

(Naughty Tortoise, Sat 8 Dec 2001, 13:10, archived)

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