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Here's

Today's Leftfield Gallery

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 13:20, archived)

Wow...

It seems that Leftfield tapped my head on a Sunday...

(

Kaiser, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 15:39, archived)

woo

(via fark)

(

AndyK, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 13:17, archived)

via fark

i like this

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 13:26, archived)

It should be like this...

(

flibz, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 13:47, archived)

Leading to this...

(

flibz, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 13:54, archived)

How Does It Feel To Be Loved?

Apologies for the shameless spam, but thought you might like to hear about a new club night I'm doing in London. It's called How Does It Feel To Be Loved?, the playlist is The Smiths meets The Supremes, and there's a website at www.howdoesitfeel.co.uk

How about a photoshopped mutant Morrissey/Diana Ross? Or DR backed by two Morrisseys? Can such a thing be done?

(ianuk, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 12:02, archived)

'twould seem

to me someone's looking for free poster design.

(

helmetcream, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 12:42, archived)

nah, really

Just trying to make up for the obvious spammishness of the post with a suggestion for the pic manglers out there.

(ianuk, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 12:52, archived)

Back in black...

...and white

Evil has a name. No, wait, two names...

(sasquatch, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:53, archived)

I love nazi cats

don't know why. but I do.

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:59, archived)

Blahh..

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:52, archived)

Soundtrack to an afternoon

I've spent an afternoon coding whilst listening to Bongwater's 'The Power of Pussy'.
I'd forgotten just how damn good it is.

'They make Nick Cave dolls now? ... I want one.'
'I wish there were four big red-necks down here and we could go into the wood and do it wiiild'

(

chthonic, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:30, archived)

How penguins learned to fly

(

pabulum, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:20, archived)

clap

clap clap

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:29, archived)

wow

just wow

(

mrbrong, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:30, archived)

What can you say

Bravo, old chap, bravo....

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 12:32, archived)

Will Jordons live internet birth be a hit?

Won't it be a bit icky? Or is there some new type of web perv who likes watching porn models giving birth?

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:08, archived)

jamie oliver

could cook the placenta

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:09, archived)

pukka wicked

add a bit of tarragon, dom't chop it tear it, rip it up, go on, luverly jubbley

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:15, archived)

Mmmm.

Placenta.

(

helmetcream, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 12:56, archived)

is anyone here

signed up?
I think it's a foul idea...

(

pete, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:21, archived)

I don't think it

will be that successful. It's a "shock horror" thing I guess for most people, who won't actually bother to watch it.

Now this is what I call a live birth.

(james, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:22, archived)

HELP!!!

i know this is an artsy fartsy message board ;o) but i need a bit of help with PHP.

I'm printing the results from a table and i need it to display alternate lines in different colours. i know it has something to do with odd and even numbers (i have a numeric reference for each line!) but i don't know how to code it!!

Can anyone help? i know a few of you are PHP gurus!

Thanks muchly!

Andy

(

andy206, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:08, archived)

er. psuedo code

$counter=0

while (not done all table)
{
$counter++;

if (counter is odd)
{echo "black table line";}
else
{echo "white table line";}
}

see? do you see?

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:19, archived)

Nice fast way of

figuring out if a number is odd or even:

if ( number & 1 )
{
/* Number is odd */
} else {
/* Number is even */
}

(thats C, but should be easy to convert to whatever language you want. Never done PHP myself...)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:21, archived)

Thanks guys!

Thats everything i needed!

(

andy206, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:29, archived)

Do you like roller coasters?

If you do, you may be fascinated by many of the interesting and untimely deaths that have occured on roller coasters:

members.aol.com/rides911/coasters.htm

Of course, you may have been put off rollercoasters after having read that. Just in case you were, let me inform you of some of the mishaps that have befallen poor sould who were enjoying the spinning teacups rides:

members.aol.com/rides911/rides.htm

I think this points a very clear lesson - theme parks are DEATHTRAPS!

(The Werejackal, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:55, archived)

in my opinion

this is a perfect photograph

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:55, archived)

Wow

a llama wearing furry chaps!

(

chthonic, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:01, archived)

As the young friends walked up the path towards Neverland

they wondered which one of them Michael would pick.

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:02, archived)

brings a tear to my eye.. humans and llamas hand in, er, paw ?

(

DaWolfey, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:08, archived)

How do it do it?

How do i keep thinking up these bad Puns?

and more to the point how do they never ever make the front page?

(Dean, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:54, archived)

Well

these things are subjective...

Some of the ones I did that I thought were bloody brill didn't make it to the front page, but others that I knocked together in a couple of seconds that I thought were pretty crap went straight there...

And thats a nice pic, but its not quite Gran Theft Auto :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:17, archived)

The internet: Taking the edge off life's horrors

(from the brilliant when they bother updating it, ukresistance.)

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:17, archived)

a more likely case of.....

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:25, archived)

Thats

even funnier if, like me, you just did create a gif of a kittens head exploding, on company time :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:27, archived)

Erm....

err....

Have no idea what you're talking about...

(

flibz, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 14:03, archived)

yep!

that's the one!

(redifusion, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:28, archived)

i wouldn't have been able to do that after 5.30 as it would ahve been home time

or networkgaming time depending on my mood.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:33, archived)

I wonder

how many man hours are lost each year to "larking about on B3ta"? Its probably more than is lost due to people taking crafty sick-days i reckon...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:32, archived)

I haven't had a sick day in ages

I've only got dial up at home.

(

PeterSeychelles, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:33, archived)

fantastic.

we've increased productivity!

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:35, archived)

Not really

because although people may take less days off, they spend those days larking about on B3ta instead of working, so attendance is up, productivity is down...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:39, archived)

It appears to be a trend

that Jordan is going to follow.

(james, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:54, archived)

I had flu last week

but dragged myself to work as i'm buggering arounf with my home machine in work time as well, it needs some updateing of drivers and patched so i brought it in to ude the works DSL bandwidth ;) sneaky, fully apdated now and games are starting to look ok in the GFX department as well. thank you work i'll take it back home again now, see you in 6 months for the new drivers

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:37, archived)

Or even...

(The Werejackal, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:21, archived)

I like the site

But what is Rez?

(

pete, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:34, archived)

new game

with funky graphics. games mags have been drooling / hyping / previewing for ages.

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:40, archived)

a game, played it

on the dreamcast other night, v good and different, but bit easy.

(

bazman, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:45, archived)

ah Tubcat I've been expecting you

(

bazman, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:15, archived)

exactly.

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:18, archived)

you're my number one

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:11, archived)

Can find what you are looking for?

Then you need human search - they claim that if you fill in the form, a "dedicated team of expert human search guides will trawl the web in search of the sites, resources, services and tools which best meet your requirements."

Blimey. What should we ask them to look for?

(

rob, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:06, archived)

my phone.

it's not down the back of the sofa.

(

big daft dave, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:09, archived)

a free gif animator/creator

that doesn't take a week to download via dial-up,
so when your feckin connection gets interrupted, you don't lose thfeckin lot. nnnnn

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:13, archived)

They could try finding

El-Dorado
Atlantis
My glasses
My dignity
My sex-appeal
Funding for b3ta...

(

chthonic, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:14, archived)

Ummm...

Lord Lucan, Atlantis, Cure for cancer...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:17, archived)

kent

someone must know where it is

(

big daft dave, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:22, archived)

Are you the

same Big Dave from the crap "King Pot Noodle" adverts?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:34, archived)

i'm not. did you not notice the 'daft' bit in the middle?

(

big daft dave, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:06, archived)

So you're

not an imaginary person who helps people eat king pot noodles then?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:14, archived)

no,

i applied for the post but they turned me down due to having too long a name. and not liking pot noodles. and having a beard shaped like a heron.

(

big daft dave, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:32, archived)

I don't know

Pot Noodles aren't that bad. They're not as good as Super-Noodles, but as instant noodle snacks go, they're ok.

Do you have a pic of this heron shaped beard then?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:36, archived)

you'll have to wait

until tommorow i'm afraid. i've got to go home and feed my army of shrews.....

(

big daft dave, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:38, archived)

Alice.

I want to know who the fuck she is.

(james, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:30, archived)

And she wants to find you as well

believe me...

(

chthonic, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:59, archived)

waaahhhhh

run away run away...

(james, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 11:04, archived)

Couldn't resist...

I was like "oh my god, weeeeeeee!"

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 9:57, archived)

I'm sure the RSPCA approve...

Royal Society for the Photoshopping of Cute Animals, that is :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:37, archived)

This week, I have been mostly training for

Inappropriately coloured bunny blasting.

(

macca, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 9:56, archived)

New attack on NY

(

breel, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 9:56, archived)

that

is truly terifying... yet strangly arousing.

(

big daft dave, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:00, archived)

Where is

Gay Dog when you really need him?

(OtaKuno, Mon 25 Feb 2002, 10:29, archived)

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