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OH NO MY IMAGINARY FRIEND HAS MUTATED

INTO AN EVIL LEO SAYER!

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:01, archived)

He is beautiful...

...can I buy him? I think you should change your name to Um-Bongo.

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:14, archived)

She's out and looking for a place to hide..

(minoltion, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:49, archived)

that is truly glorious and horrifying.

a triple woo yay perhaps?

sorry they're all bigger than the original animation.

(zog2, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:54, archived)

Can I join in?

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:02, archived)

Lets just have a big random Woo and Yay fest!

Heres my 2 cents

(Dean, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:06, archived)

ooo I like

what's it from originally?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:57, archived)

one of the greatest films ever made..

The Thing (John Carpenters)

(minoltion, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:02, archived)

oh yeah,

of course! I thought it was a robot spider, I like them :)

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:14, archived)

that is

a little freaky... mummy

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:19, archived)

Woo and Yay

I'm getting a .com with hosting soon. Anyone know any hosters better than this one? bargainhost.budgethosts.co.uk/

They offer:

.com domain
35 megs web space
1 POP3 email account
Full CGI and Perl support
SSI (Server Side Includes)
No adverts or popups
Unrestricted Bandwidth
PHP4 and MYSQL Database
WAP Support

For only £41.98 for 2 years.

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:48, archived)

thats a very good deal

makes me wonder why rob needed £5000..... :)

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:02, archived)

Indeed...

when i get it, much wooing and yaying is in order.

Oh, and by the way, BT are very unwoo and nonyay because 1) it took 10 engineers to sort out or phone and in the end they had to dig up the whole road (about half a mile stretch) and 2) i can't get ADSL yet, they complain it costs them £200,000 to enable an exchange :( so all i can get is BT 'HomeHighway' (their odd name for ISDN).

Very unwoo, and very unwoo and nonyay.

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:05, archived)

i had highway

before i got the adsl (which is the single greatest achievement of man so far)

compared to a 56k modem, isdn is like the internet on speed

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:08, archived)

Woo...

sounds cool, plus my mum will have her precious phone line 24/7.

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:12, archived)

the big problem with homehighway is

if you then have you exchange enabled and want to switch to ADSL, there is a massive headache, and usually a big wait, as they convert your ISND line back to a normal PSTN (can't remember what it stands for) and then connect you up to your DSL connection, you could be off the web a day most likely a week, it's an arse, many tales of woe.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:04, archived)

remember

unrestricted bandwidth is not literally unlimited, only a worry if your hosting porn or something

(minoltion, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:04, archived)

No...

I'm 14, I won't be hosting porn, thats the job of my Dad, anyway, what does 'unrestricted' mean then?

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:06, archived)

To be fair, I'd be wondering.....

do you really need cgi / ssi / perl / php / mysql / wap?
I would assume that none of them are going to be of any use to you.
Unrestricted bandwidth never actually means unrestricted bandwidth- possibly worth finding out when they'll start charging you for over-use.
35 megs of disk space is easily filled if you want media-rich content.
I'm dubious that that's a really useful deal for you. I'd have thought you'd want something with more disk-space, less pointless features, and clarification about when they'll dump a bill for bandwidth on you.
Worth finding an appropriate deal in the long-run.

(

crab_bloke), Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:30, archived)

Way hey!

crab-bloke! Where have you been? Haven't heard from you in ages!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:34, archived)

Hello mate

just got your out-of-work note. So am I. I'm going to offer all your mates a bribe of a pack of hubba-bubba to give me leads they would have passed to you. woo! I've had a really cool weekend. Went out on the piss on friday, met Breel (he's just as you'd expect him to be, lovely bloke, mad as balloons, liked him a lot, wasn't wearing ear-socks). Got photos with Gillian Taylforth in the pub which will be photoshop gold (hugo rune and dave s took the pics, hassle them monday)moved a sofa and triumphed over tiny doorframes, went to france and now have about 6 months worth of fags and booze stockpiled, as well as camembert, garlic sausage etc, helped a doctor out with dreamweaver and basic html (karma- god will like me now) and am drunk on my 35p a pint cheap french lager. Rockin'! How's tings at your end?

(

crab_bloke), Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:41, archived)

Thanks...

...for the help, especially from you, as you are my idol, and I worship you 24/7. If only I had enough money for some CrabWear :(.

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:49, archived)

Quite alright

and very kind of you. No point paying for things you don't need, and then getting stitched for things you do. It's a treacherous world, this server malarkey

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:09, archived)

I'm getting drunk

on the Smirnoff Blue that my Mum thought was a good idea to bring back from wherever-it-was-she-went on holiday and listening to some mad drum and bass (I recommend breakbeat.co.uk for some of the same that I'm listening to) and I have to go to the job centre tomorrow at some point, which doesn't help. I'll have to find anothoer flat in the next month or so as I can't afford this one, which bites the fishcake.
I'm trying to rally support to get me drunk across the UK with fellow B3tans as I have the time. I'm sure you'd be able to help :) Give a big woo yay! to Breel and the others you met... Huzzah!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:53, archived)

Woo, but also Boo

Lack of job / signing on hell gets a big Boo- it'll work out mate, and anyway fuck 'em it's nice to have spare time now the sun's out. Re breakbeat- quelle surprise- I'm listening to drumb-and-bass myself, but then I usually am. You know we're having a london bash on friday- sure you could do that one on other peoples' rounds, come down mate. Other b3tans- yays fully deserved- the ones I've met so far have been top quality to a man- hugo rune and chthonic have become regulars now, and I've known Rob for, like, everrrrr. Hopefully more of the squad will join the real-world posse. Breel was a really nice bloke, as I say, exactly as you'd expect him to be although I was actually expecting him to be a giant pink fluffy bunny rabbit with ear socks. Lovely bloke. But then, as I say, they're all lovely blokes so far. Reckon you'll make friday? Having trouble typing now- too much cheap lager. I'll persevere for a little while longer before I admit defeat though.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:07, archived)

top chap!

If you like drum and bass, I could send you some of my mix cd's. I do a little bit here and there (although the last time I played in a club in Brighton was before my daughter was born, bloody ages ago)
I'll endeavour to make it to Londinium, but I have a tenner to my name at the moment. I'll definitely try to do so tho. And I'll try not to pass out on anyone's sofa. Honest. Although Nacho had to put up with my affair with her sofa last night.

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:11, archived)

Woo!

I love breaks. Bring it on mate. You know the email address. Pop me an email if you want my physical address. Although I've never produced any kind of electronic music of any sort I feel my excesses over the last decade entitle me to my opinions. Come down to London. You're more than welcome to pass out on my sofa down here (I think I'm putting up Nacho anyway). I'm not one to mind people passing out in my shed- I have been known to get a little bit excessive on the behaviour front myself. Woo!

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:25, archived)

breakbeat.co.uk

yo yo yo yo yo yo yo, this is MC skibadee, deal with the matter.....

need I say more?

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:33, archived)

breakbeat.co.uk

is quality sets. good stuff. cheers for the pointer amigo (rinsin' out etc etc)

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:34, archived)

Managed to d/l

all of the wma files they had. Rinsin it out in Brighton, deal with the matter (I still don't know what the fuckinghellhesgoingonabout) I do know a few people I can promote my mix to tho. If I'm playing in Brighton, I'll be sure to let y'all know. Marvellous stuff... I was on about the vodka at this point. Maaaaaaaargh!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:42, archived)

deal with the matter

skibadee's from my manor in hackney. been going for years on pirate radio here, responsible for some of the most incomprehensible MCing I've ever come across but guaranteed to get you dancing. Brilliant. Re booze, I've downgraded from whiskey (my usual evening tipple) to lager, but I now have many many crates of lager, so I can drink it for an almost infinite period of time, which rocks. Must address this typing problem though- fingers not going where I want them to go- usually a sign I should call it quits and go to bed

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:53, archived)

Right....

I'm off to bed. Night B3ta..

(

penrithtearooms, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:46, archived)

g'night. Hope you don't have nightmares.

.
.
.
.
.
LOOK OUT! BEHIND YOU! AAAAAAARGH!

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:54, archived)

My Imaginary Friend

There he is, He's 20ft tall and he's made of gold and he eats whole cows and he can fly and he can travel through time he has the face of Phil Selway the drumer from Radiohead and the body of one of the pig-cops from 'Duke Nukem' and he has a voice kind of like a cross between Bjork and Gail Porter and his feet are cars.

and he has a 'x-box'

(Dean, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:45, archived)

Does anyone know

what the hell was going on in Birmingham today? I'm returning home (to Liverpool) from down South, and the M6 is fecking stationary and I have no fuel!

gets off at a random junction (J6) and there's a million and one coppers about, police bikes on standby at roundabouts and no fuel at the first garage I found.
Made it with half a litre to spare, and wasted an hour st Star city playing DDR because I can't be arsed sitting in a traffic jam..

I'm just puzzled as to why, was there a footy match or something?

(

Lum, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:43, archived)

Aye, there was

FA cup semi final at Villa Park. Chelsea 1 Fulham 0. No consolation to you, but apparently it was a good game.

(

MartinH, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:51, archived)

Grr bloody football!

How inconsiderate of them, don't they realise how annoying it is to be sat almost stationary next to a 'services, 13 miles away' sign watching the fuel needle sit at the bottom of the red, after you've already calculated it reads to high (after filling, it doesn't move for the first 50 miles!)

Still, gave me an excuse to go and waste money in the arcades, pity I'm skint now.

(

Lum, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:53, archived)

Hmm...

Runners of the london marathon got a bit over enthusiastic perhaps?

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:54, archived)

i can see that...

bloke1:"whew! we've done it! we've run the marathon!"
bloke2:"lets keep going!!"
crowd: "YEAH!!!"

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:03, archived)

A week later they arrive in Scotland...

... and go into the Guinnes World record book

(salbot, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:08, archived)

please forgive me master!

it itches!

(zog2, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:42, archived)

wtf?

gotta love this URL:

http://www.miraclechickenurns.com/

(zog2, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:28, archived)

night all

i'm knackered. so i'm lightweighting it.
thanks for everything, everyone!
=D

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:26, archived)

nighty night

hope the bed bugs don't give you nightmares beyond belief... get out of my head, you evil creatures... Is it just me that is afflicted by the bed bugs?

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:31, archived)

bad dog!

There's nothing to woo or yay here!! Go down a few posts and woo and yay all the nice pictures that appeared since the last time you were here.

(zog2, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:23, archived)

today has been

a very texty day indeed!

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:27, archived)

I posted my 300th post tonight, and didn't even notice...

Not as many as some folk, but a fine testament to creatively wasted time, I think you'll agree.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:20, archived)

clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap

well done sir, you've wasted a marvellous amount of time, but at the same time, bringing joy to thousands of people every day. You should be proud! I have to sign on tomorrow... Arse...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:35, archived)

poor situation, vulga, my man...

get it over with... enjoy the lie-in-and-fuck-about-all-day priveleges for a few days. I'm sure someone of your talents won't be jobless for long.

Did you get any moolah for being pushed? If so, take a holiday...

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:40, archived)

Ummmm

nope. I was fired, so I get nothing. I was thinking on doing a photographic tour of the UK of the B3tans. Essentially going to the differnet towns/cities/wales to visit people and get drunk with them and have a picture taken. But I normally fall asleep, which is a problem.

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:56, archived)

Now THAT's a good idea

Vulga's B3ta Tour of UK, featuring loads of drinking, polar bears and wooyay anims. Fishbear can do the official tour shirt.....

Want sponsors? :)

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:24, archived)

I could do with some cash to fund it

I lost my job this week, any donations appreciated. I reckon it would cost me (trust me, I had the time to figure this out) about £300 to do the whole tour. I have a camera and a scanner, so that wouldn't be a problem. I could do it either all in one go, or over weekends, which would probably suit everyone better. I'll probably post this again tomorrow to get some rallying/sofas to sleep on for the forthcoming event.

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 23:32, archived)

Spare room here

as long as you don't mind walking past Alice [1] on the first landing and sleeping next to Gloria [2] on the top floor. Oh, and the house being a complete bombsite 'cos there's only 2 of us working on a 12 room victorian monster and we've got a (nearly) 6 year old running around :)

[1] 1920's mannekin, complete with painted hair and real shoes
[2] similar to [1] but without the hair 'cos her wig's fallen off. <quick check next door> and her dress has slipped so her baps are out. [3]
[3] I'm not joking [4]
[4] really.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:09, archived)

so...

whereabouts are you, chap? I have no idea[1]. You may have told me before but I dont remember[2]. I would love to come and stay/help out at your Victorian monster house. I used to live in one[3] so Ithankyouverymuch in advance!

[1] I'm pissed
[2] You probably have told me before, but I'm pissed, so I probably don't remember
[3] Bloody ages ago, but I can't remember how long ago, I was, well, a bit tipsy at the time... please yourselves (and that's not an order)

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:17, archived)

Most non-woo.

I think you're better off out of that place mate. I missed the gubbins last week 'cos I was getting my brain squeezed in Laaaaarndun, so I gather yer bollocking turned into an exiting-the-building-ing :(

Why not do what I did and get pissed for a month?

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:51, archived)

anyone watching the prog about irish catholics and protestants on itv ?

very interesting...

rant on
i've said it before and ill say it again - religion is FUCKING STUPID and causes TOO MANY PROBLEMS.
rant off

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:16, archived)

Amen

to that :)

Oh, here's a map to hell. Hope it's full of vimto.....

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:53, archived)

crap flash thingys

what do i use to make em

ie what is free off the net and not a trial version that i can use for them shitty things like hatten dar etc

i wanna make some

(skagg, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:51, archived)

Err...

Flash?

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:00, archived)

There is a program called..

Swish. That does flash text anims with ease. Been a while since i played with it, there is a new version of it i think. Any help?

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:05, archived)

...

Swish 2 great program

(minoltion, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:09, archived)

any

place i can get swish or flash free on easy how i like my women

(skagg, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:10, archived)

tis a good program

be the url

*cough* astalavista *cough*

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:10, archived)

give me a head...

gonna put someones head on something...

so post your suggestions../.

(minoltion, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:48, archived)

erm

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:51, archived)

have a whole body

go nuts!

(skagg, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:54, archived)

TO BALDLY GO....

BAD PUN!

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 0:07, archived)

hitch hikers guide to the galaxy

radio show

now on bbc world service!
woo unt yay!
(865 on sky)

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:40, archived)

anybody

know the frequency for WS?

(skagg, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:52, archived)

the bbc

knows all
wigg;e

(

DaWolfey, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:57, archived)

Right. This is my imaginary friend.

I know it's huge, that's what they all say...

Sorry its such a big file, he's a big bunny...

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:38, archived)

I give that a...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:41, archived)

Please..

don't hit me but this is my first animation. they can only get better

(

penrithtearooms, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:47, archived)

That's good.

But I object to the use of the evil Disneyfied Pooh. he is of the devil. And not in a good way.

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:50, archived)

As I say.

1st posting but you are quite right. We all know Walt Disney was a paid up facist.... and I bet that's not "Hunny" it's deadly sarin gas.

(

penrithtearooms, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:56, archived)

And...

although you're from "Penrith", you're in Brighton aren't you? fancy a pint?

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:25, archived)

yeah...

we gotta sort out a brighton b3tan night.....

(

penrithtearooms, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:31, archived)

Thank you sir.

BTW Dr. Phil's posts are temporarily knackered due to the supreme crapness of BlueYonder, yes kids, that's BLUEYONDER BROADBAND INTERNET from TELEWEST, who have not only killed our "free" webspace, and cut me off for four hours this afternoon, but have also (get this) cut off the entire of Tottenham and Haringey's telephones.
A class act.
Fuck Telewest.

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:48, archived)

Just after we got BY...

they had a fire in their Edinburgh exchange and cut off everyone for 12 hours.

Generally, however, I find it pretty reliable.

My advice is complain a lot. Don't phone - life's too short and you speak to a monkey. Write to the CEO (Adam Singer, in Liverpool), state all the facts, question his claims abouit customer service (see Telewest website, CEO interview videos) and say you're copying the correspondence to Oftel.

We got all our installation charges refunded, plus the money to fix our TV (yes... their dickhead "engineers" broke it), and a month of tv and BY free.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:52, archived)

I've had this conversation

with you before, I think?
I plan on complaining again, once they reconnect my sodding telephone(!)
I work from home, so if it ain't fixed by tomorrow 9.00 they can count on a seriously pissed off womble giving them some major grief.

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:57, archived)

er... yes...

I think I did rant and rave on here before...

I'll email you the text of my legendary complaint if you like. I was very pleased with it. And it did get us £160 or so back...

The key is not to bother phoning - write and they HAVE to deal with it.

The whole cable industry has such a bad name that they will do anything to shut you up if you're noisy enough.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 22:01, archived)

And as soon as I say that

it's fixed! Woo!
I'm a gonna complain to b3ta about everything now! You lucky lucky people...
My phone is still fuckkt though :(

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:53, archived)

Hell Yeah!

that is wooopla!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:52, archived)

Imagine this

as your imaginary friend if you want. I was told to stop lurking and post something. My artistic skillz are way too leet, honest. That's my excuse.

(bart, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:34, archived)

I never told you to stop lurking

but while your pic lacks any skill at all, I actually quite like him :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:36, archived)

sk1ll

I think finding the line draw tool in PSP requires more than enough skill :)

(bart, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:41, archived)

I've scared myself again

especially as I've had a scary dream with them in before.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:33, archived)

Jesuuuuus.

Will you stop doing that, you scare me shitless every time...

(tomsk, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:40, archived)

i scared myself

so I had to share that pain with you all!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:49, archived)

Hmm... reminds me

of my grandmother, without "Her face on", as she puts it... Yikes.

(

The Duke Of Your Fingers feels like an old man... mmm, tasty!, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:45, archived)

Seeing as were having a re-post day

I think I'll re-post this little fella, because i love him.

(Dean, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:32, archived)

pants == trousers for me too

I'm wearing my best school pants.

(

limpfish, Sun 14 Apr 2002, 21:31, archived)

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