To avoid inevitable and tedious board nazi rampages
1. Limit picture file size on upload: 150KB for gif, 50KB for jpg. Don't support other image types, except perhaps png.
2. Do not allow a new post unless it has an image in it.

Being able to see old FPs would also be nice.

Ta
( Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:56, Reply)

shoot me down
Incorp the QOTW into the talk board with a Q or C to indicate it is not just regular chat. Could reply that way.

x
( The Lurker Plenty One, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:54, Reply)

Another Christmas List
Containing all the b3ta-and-chums' products like Sick Joke Book, Jonti and Joel's plush toys, The Neville's book.

And some recommendations of b3ta-esque products, like Boosh DVDs, cool digital camera accessories...
( Curis, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:47, Reply)

Something to prevent/more strongly discourage people from posting still images over, say, 120k?
And a similar thing for animations?
Naziism is unfluffy and contagious, and it saddens me to hear all the long-time posters speaking of 'the good old days' before it became so popular.
Whilst filesize isn't a problem for most board surfers, there are still some modem-users, and people like me with imposed download limits who still love to explore b3ta frequently.
( Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:47, Reply)

sexy AJAX gayness
Refreshing /talk is a pain in the cock. Why not implement some AJAX to automatically refresh the boards? It would even save on server bandwidth as the server would just be only be responding with a list of new posts.

And I'd like to see a board where people post photos of their genitals.

EDIT: and could you fix the CSS on /talk so that when someone makes a hilarious post like "EEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOO" or "GAAAAAAAYYYYYY" I don't get a horizontal scroll bar?

EDIT EDIT: or could you just stop people posting things like "EEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOO" or "GAAAAAAAYYYYYY" with NO FUCKING SPACES?

EDIT EDIT EDIT: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

See? It's annoying isn't it?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:46, Reply)

ratings
Users can "dagg" an entry. More "daggs" = higher up the page. I see zero problems with that system.

If someone beats you to it, change the vowel.

modedit: What do you think "i like this" is? And we had it on QOTW years before Digg was launched. Nothing is new in this world.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:35, Reply)

a 24 hour ignore feature, so you can get rid of people when they are drunks etc.
I like the idea of a friends list, although people would use it like myspace and go all emo.

Also, more talks in public by the Fuhrer as I missed the last one.

a project to follow up the sick joke book.

MOEDIT: Yeah, I'd like to do more talks but they're a bit of a pain to sort out. A follow up to the Sick Joke project? Yep, I imagine we'll do something, but that project (from my point of view) is still ongoing. Not going to seriously think about it until after Xmas.
( Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:31, Reply)

Right
That bit, for example, with multiple pages, the "Latest, 4,3,2,1". get rid of the latest please. Page (high num) will have the latest. Obviously. Latest quite often means the latest and 90% of page (high num) so i have to scroll down the latest page, and page (high num) , just to get to page (hign num-1)

Does that make sense?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:31, Reply)

An annual b3ta ladies topless calender
But no mingers allowed.

MODEDIT: Well that's January sorted out, but what will be do for the other 11 months? Sorry B3ta ladies, I know you are all lovely really.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:25, Reply)

Me also
I echo the requests for the ability to reply to entries on QOTW answers.

I do like the idea of a "I don't like this" button but think that we have enough trolls as it is without encouraging them. Put them back under bridges where they belong.

Btw, thanks for the message function although it scared the crap out of me when I first got one, as I hadn't noticed it sitting up there greyed out. It's been there for years right? I'm that thick/unloved aren't I?
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:24, Reply)

when there are many replies
to a thread, the posts towards the end turn into a horizontal line of letters, extremely difficult to read. just an observation, more to reiterate previous posters asking for drop down menus
( McBadger COW, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:23, Reply)

Formating drop downs for replies and posts
so that those of us who arnt very 1337 can quickly and easily ad a bit of spice to our posts. Also this would mean we could just tag our image with, oo lets say 'this image is NSFW' and your posted code would have that as its board link.
no smileys though!
EDIT: or even have a feature that tells the uploader that the image they are about to post is over 250k etc (this would be in the preview box)
( Victor Meldrew, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:15, Reply)

RE: Seventh post below 'Provisional Plates'
that^
( McBadger COW, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:15, Reply)

front page
the number of posts on the front page should be reduced as nowadays it often takes up far too much ram / processor power to load them all and let them all animate simultaneously. it really really irks me. pls fix kthx
( evil pixie, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:15, Reply)

Don't like this
I agree with Humpty. An 'I don't like this' button would be just grand.
Maybe then Apeloverage would get the recognition he/she so richly deserves.
(KeithManiac, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:08, Reply)

A b3ta sandpit board
For people to show off works in progress, minor edits etc. of stuff they're working on. It would be a chance to ask slightly more technical help than on the main board.

do I mean sandpit or sandbox? Whatever the crap jargon for that sort of thing is.
( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:05, Reply)

someone suggested
"A green 'P' icon
for the second week of membership."

how about it stays there until they've posted 5 or so times? becuase many people register but don't post for weeks or months after their Lplate has expired - but they're still new users when they DO start posting.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 15:01, Reply)

The ability
to look back over previous FPs would be nice. Especially if you've been on holiday and may have missed something if you didn't have access to the internets.

And b3ta social networking? Just so we can avoid work for longer.
(I R Advertiser How can you live like this you're out of control?, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:55, Reply)

Bug Request
I'd like 4 dozen dung beetles please...

and an "I don't like this button in the QOTW so that we can have a rogues' gallery of dunce-hat earning answers... and the top "dunce" should earn a little dunce-hat next to thier name for a few weeks.

Sure.. it's picking on the looser... and that's a bad thing in today's society because it teaches people that others are mean.... h hang on... that's reality.

Yes... a Dunce-hat function please... on the QOTW.

and the dung beetles. I want some.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:31, Reply)

OK
How about:
A "Who has looked at my profile" button so we can see who is being nosey about us.

Avoid /board rage by making it impossible to post a new message that has no picture - obviously don't force all replies to have a picture too.

Replies to QoTW posts would be good (not listed below the answer, but opening in a new window).
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:28, Reply)

And another thing!
Bring back Stusut79, best poster ever. His rants made me laugh.

100% fact.

EDIT: He's back! I did IT! WOO! I rock!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:27, Reply)

not deleting replies...........
Seems to me that this site supports the truly offensive twunt. There is one person I've seen who thinks it oh-so funny to take the piss out of cancer but if one takes the trouble to post a response along the lines of "Oi!! Not funny", the powers that be delete it. If a knobhead can exercise freedom of expression to be downright offensive then why can't I have the right to disagree with him?????

MODEDIT: We very seldom delete board posts. 99.9% of deleted posts are the user themselves, presumably regretting what they've just said.
(angelica666, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:27, Reply)

I wish ... I wish I didn't keep losing me birds
and it would be nice if deleted threads could be un-deleted, either by a mod or by the original poster
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:21, Reply)

As for features....
How about members donating articles / rants or something to increase the stuff to read?? I'm sure there's some golden material to be found out there delving in the back of B3tard's minds.

I love the idea of users having a flag by the way. It would be nice to see where the people are from.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:17, Reply)

A special icon
for anyone who has come in on the popular pages of image compos etc. in the last month.
( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:16, Reply)

My suggestions
I would like to understand the board please. I think I possibly in that minority here called "technology spastic" but for me refreshing the board just makes it totally confusing :(
Is there a simpler way than trawling all the way down to see new posts? Am I just too foolish to understand??

Another suggestion would be stopping people taking the piss slightly on QOTW a la Apeloverage. It just gets annoying. Sorry whoever you are, but your stories get on my tits. Because they ain't funny mostly. And there's 100's of them one after another. Meh.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:14, Reply)

How about the ability to mark favorite board members
and have their posts highlighted for easy browsing?
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:13, Reply)

.
A comments button to be added to each answer to the QOTW taking you to its own thread (to stop people posting responses as answers).

Anything getting above x amount of 'i like this' votes on the board to be given a bronze,silver or gold furtive. This would let people know if their picture is popular without having to say how many actual votes it has got (which I don't think would work as I doubt people would like seeing it when their picture gets 0 votes)

A block which makes it impossible to post images above a certain size.

To meet W3C accessibility guidelines, each page should play a different Phil Collins MIDI file from his brilliant back catalogue.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:12, Reply)

I'd like a post template
As I usually post images with a link to my website around them, I'd like to see a pre-set posting template (meaning that the message-field is filled in already) in which I only have to add an image url...

And another feature; displaying who clicked 'I like this'. Perhaps only visible to the poster of the entry...

Oh and I second the request for tracking what your 'friends' have posted recently.
( c_kick or, as some people call him, Tue 7 Nov 2006, 14:12, Reply)