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This is a question Annoying words and phrases

Marketing bollocks, buzzword bingo, or your mum saying "fudge" when she really wants to swear like a trooper. Let's ride the hockey stick curve of this top hat product, solutioneers.

Thanks to simbosan for the idea

(, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 13:13)
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This question is now closed.

May have already been mentioned,
A few weeks ago in a meeting at work, the new boss kept coming out with the phrase "We'll take that off-line."

C***.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:03, 6 replies)
Scrabble for cover...
I was reading that Mattel the makers of Scrabble have allowed proper nouns and names into a new version. Their marketing department have probably 're-genned it to fully immerse the playstation generation'.
You can imagine the scene, crimbo 2010, old uncle Tarquin and Aunt Elsbeth who've managed to get within 2 points of each other with 'egregious' on a double word (obviously going across another word) and 'cygnet' with the Y on a triple letter.... then Barry (Bazza) the 14 year old 'wigga' from Wolverhampton slams down 'JayZ' on the only 4 spaces available over the triple word score. Bazza: 'Tarquin, Elsbeth can I axe you ... ave' you ever done a 69'er cos you have just both been done by MY 69-er innit, boom, game over'
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:01, 10 replies)
She said...

'Yeah, I know, tell me about it'

So I did, which annoyed her, as it became clear that she didn't.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Get
Cheers started it.
"Can I get a skinny latte?"
No, you can have one. You can't get one. Not in this country.

EDIT: Holy crap! My post, right next to someone else posting the zak same thing!
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:54, 10 replies)
Can I get...?
When in a cafe, pub, bar etc, young trendy types who use this non confrontational form of request irritate the fuck out of me.

It's 'can I have!'

Fucktards.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:54, 4 replies)
A few...
Leverage
Strategic Planning
Systems Approach
Metrics

Just some of the delightful babble that t***s blurt out all day here at work.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:47, 3 replies)
"I'm feeling a bit nauseous"
No, you're feeling nauseated, possibly because you ate or drank something nauseous.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:47, 4 replies)
Out of them all, I'd say this mistake trumps the lot
and there's no excuse either:

Historia et vitae magistra

when they clearly mean

Historia est vitae magistra
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:41, 1 reply)
Dreckly.
I lived in the westcountry from 3 months old, until I finally escaped at 40. In all that time nothing irked me more than the word dreckly.

Its a bastardisation of directly, meaning "in a little while". Dreckly, however, seems to mean "possibly within the next few minutes, or maybe in a few weeks - perhaps in a couple of months, or maybe even not at all depending how I feel". My mother used it a lot, when she said it she meant "shut up and stop bothering me"
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:36, 5 replies)
More Abuses Documented.
It's not "Poym", it's Poem.
It's not "Fillum", it's Film...
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:33, 8 replies)
I find it irksome when
someone says relentless when they mean inexorable. grr.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:29, 2 replies)
Timmy Mallet..
Zany...Whacky....Anyone using these words in an every day conversation with friends needs shooting...I used to wake my parents up shouting at the twat on telly....

P.s. I am a bit stressed at work and if i have posted this twice then you can all bollocks coz i don't care anymore...!!
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:28, Reply)
One Mrs Sandettie uses
"Not on my tits. Or my face either before you get any ideas."

pah, annoys the hell out of me that one.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:27, 11 replies)
Bless
"My cat just had kittens"
"Aww, bless"

*vomits*
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:22, 4 replies)
"Sittin' there"
I heard this way too often when younger: "I was sittin' there, walking next to Tim and he says..." or "Dude, we were sittin' there hiking and all of the sudden..."

Past imperfect?
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:21, 2 replies)
Another Welshism
"I'll do it now in a minute."
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:19, Reply)
Shitburgers.
My cousin coined it -- when a situation goes horribly wrong or not the way you intended -- you exclaim "ah, Shitburgers" ...
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:19, 2 replies)
Posting this one on behalf of the missus...
...who hates it when people say "And plus", e.g. "When the waiter brought it out, he had his thumb in the gravy, and plus I found a pubic hair in the peas".

For added annoyance, I sometimes like to use "and plus also".
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:17, 2 replies)
My dad says corncrete
And pompadom. Arrrgh!

My mrs laughs at my pronounciation of avocado: arvo cardo. It sounds wrong when said like avarcardo.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:15, 4 replies)
My brother
rather than say "may I have" in a shop, (though to be fair I've never heard that either) he says "have you got.."

"Have you got one of these Mars Bars?"
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:08, Reply)
How much milk would you like in your tea?
"Not too much".

I know that you don't want too much, that would be TOO MUCH wouldn't it? That's why asked how much you would like, so that I would avoid giving you too much or too little.

Sugar?
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:07, 6 replies)
Chrimbo, Chrimbles or anything else that adds a fucking horrendous Steve Wright in the FUCKING afternoon type cosy cuteness to that end of year pigfest
"Ooh have to get me chrimbo shop done", "What you getting for Chrimbo?"

GET.
To.
FUCK.
For Christmas.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:04, 2 replies)
a genius i work with
says 'hisself' instead of 'himself'
(and i take orders from this mouth-breather)
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:00, Reply)
"I'm vegetarian... but I eat fish"
FUCKING, FUCKING HELL

Well you're not vegetarian then, are you? You're pescetarian. That's the term for someone who eats fish, but doesn't eat meat from animals that walk on land or fly instead of swimming. Saying you're vegetarian is like claiming to be a gay man who has sex with women, or a music lover who likes a bit of Oasis. I can only think of three reasons why anyone would claim to be one thing and not the other;

1. You don't think fish are an animal. Because, presumably, they show none of the signs of life that cows and chickens do, like movement, procreation, all that bollocks, I don't know, I haven't done biology since I was 14 and I was shit at it then.

2. Somehow you think being vegetarian makes you better than those of us who eat meat. In my experience, very few herbivores choose to wave their dietary procilivities in our faces and make an issue of it. Most of them have worked out that if a person enjoys the taste of meat, being ranted at about their lifestyle choice by a scrawny bugger who would probably cheer the fuck up if they could just eat a fucking burger once in a while will probably not change their minds. The vast majority of veggies I know are lovely folk who don't define themselves by their diet. But if they did, they'd have more right to than you, you fish-killing cunt.

3. You didn't actually know the word "pescetarian" until just now. I eat meat, and I know the difference. Which is a bit like me walking into church holding up the missing preface to the Bible, which says "All characters contained herein are fictitious and any resemblance to figures living or dead is entirely coincidental".

Grr. Ms Foxtrot is vegematarian and gets less annoyed by this than I do. Then again if all you eat is rabbit food it's hard to work up the energy for a good rant, innit
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:00, 27 replies)
Overuse of the word 'basically'
'So basically there is a problem at your exchange. Basically, the engineer won't get there for a week. You're not going to have internet for a week, basically'.

GAAAAAARGH

'You're fucked for a week' is BASIC. The rest is NOT.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:58, 1 reply)

New Labour


Enough Said
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:56, 1 reply)
Staycation
AAAARRRRRGGGHHH! They had a report on the BBC this morning about how many Brits are having holidays in the UK because of the recession, and every time they could they used the made up bollocks word of 'staycation'. It's just wrong, partly because we don't have vacations we have holidays, and partly because you don't stay where you live, you still bloody well go somewhere, just not across an international border!

How about just calling them holidays in the UK?
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:51, 2 replies)
Shit name flames.
Such as

Tony B.Liar and Micro$oft to name a couple.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:45, 10 replies)
I feel sick
I have a mate from Wolverhampton, who's a 6 foot 5 gorilla of a man. He's loud (a voice so bassy, it sets off the resonant frequencies of most of my furniture), brash (no inhibitions while sober, an unstoppable force of potential embarrassment when drunk), and rather brilliant fun. For years, i've been trying to teach him that phrases like 'lend it me' make fuck all sense, but invariably I get branded as a Southern fairy or somesuch for my correct use of the English language.

When, after a night out on the lash at uni, he claimed he had 'felt sick', we assumed everything was hunky-dory, and went about our business (passing out on the sofa).

'No', he insisted, 'i've FELT sick'. Great we muttered. Go to the toilet then. 'You don't understand, i've felt sick, all over the kitchen floor'.

'No, you've BEEN sick all over the... shit'.
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Incorrect and over-use of "ironically" is annoying
"I got to the train station for the 1230 but was late getting there, and so ironically the train had left ... "
(, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:37, 5 replies)

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