Erm...
I've got a book signed by Patrick Moore

I designed the CCTV signs for the front of my work.

One of my feet was actually on camera when I as in the studio audience of 'RI:SE'

Realted to that, I frequently see Ian Lee skulking about as he seems to live nearby.

I saw Simon Pegg going up the escalator at Highgate the other day (I was on the down one) so I stared at him to try and make him feel uneasy.

I once landed a frontside 360 nollie kickflip turning with it - imagine a cabalerial kickflip, but switchstance - on the flat... woo for me skateboarding!
( Liquid Crystal, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 11:16, Reply)

You want tenuous linkage?
My girlfriends mate was the cousin of the lead singer of D-Ream! Oh dear

She also used to go out with the cousin of one of the male winners of pop stars the rivals.

Saying that though I've got off with one of S Club 7 before they were famous. She lived round the corner to me.


I'm ashamed
(tribal tiger, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 11:12, Reply)

Bald gay sister.
My older sister has been on loads of UK TV shows (such Oprah type UK shows as "The Time - The Place") - due mainly to her total baldness and fully tatooed head (true).
She also features prominently in the UK documentary "A Straight Guide To Queer". I believe she's a bit of an icon in certain gay circles in the UK.
Very proud of her too.

edit: ("gay circles"...no pun intended!)
edit #2: Same sister got proposed to by John Otway before she discovered her gayness.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 11:11, Reply)

Ray Mallon is a dirty smackhead beating twunt
I seen ray mallon (Mayor of Smogsville, He kills smackheads...seriously!) walking down the street whislt I was waiting for the bus to work one morning this week.

I was seriously contemplating "should I trip him up and watermelloning leg it?" but the rather large bloke with the 'walkie-talkie' that was 12paces behind him put me off.

If I had eaten all my weetabix that morning - It probably (wouldnt) of been a different (boring) story

/end rant
(bunta, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 11:07, Reply)

Windsor Davies
My brother once had a football signed by Windsor Davies.
( spingers, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 11:06, Reply)

Emelda
My mate's ex went to Uni with Emelda from Grange Hill. Whilst out on the raz with them, little did I realise I was chatting her up seeing as I don't usually go for butch lesbian types. She'd definitely changed for the better! I found out afterwards who she was. Never saw her again.

Also, chap over the road was heavily involved with the Magic Circle and who should turn up in his E type jag for tea and biscuits? Paul Daniels and his lovely assistant Debbie McGee. He invited us in to have tea with them. Was jolly nice of them, I thought. Still think he's a cranberry though.
( Mr Spleen Can do better. C-, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:53, Reply)

Woot
Had a few beers with the great Gareth Thomas (Blake from Blakes 7)and helped him do his crossword, while he was on a break from filming something in my local pub.

And Freddie Mercury once said "alright mate" to my brother at some nobby London club

And there was that time that Paul Di'anno (Iron Maidons original) singer crapped in a hat and put it on me mates head at a rather frantic party we had in our house.

Oh .. and arguing with Lemmy about the best place to conceal a wrap

Woo Yay
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:51, Reply)

Brushes with the famous or not so...
1. I have met Darth Vader - OK, David Prowse - in the social club at my old work place. His GF was a regular there.

2. Years ago, at school the detention list nearly always featured the name, Tutu. My brother played rugby with him, Trevor was his first name.

Fast forward to the 1990's, his Dad wins the Nobel Prize and Trev is sentenced to 4 years for a hoax bomb threat on an internal flight in South Africa. He didn't actually serve the time and was pardoned by the Truth and Reconciliation Amnesty Committe on the grounds it was a "political act". I heard he threw a wobbly when he wasn't given a complimentary newspaper by the stewardess and played the "don't you know who I am" card.

He's also been linked with buying nuclear technology from China, bidding for a telecom franchise (it failed as he forgot to put the cheque for the registration fee with the application), walking away from a car accident, tax evasion and running a catfish farm.
(Doctor Evil, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:42, Reply)

Tenuous Linkage
If you look up the word "wank" in the Dictionary of Slang, it shows that the word was invented by my school (Felsted, in Essex)

In case you wanted to know the original meaning of the word was "a fishy smell"
(Chili, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:32, Reply)

When
I was wee, say 6 or so, I was at a rather drug fuelled party in Mexico city with my cool ass mum and dad. Having meant to have been in bed I woke up, pottered downstairs and started to 'mingle'. Working the crowd of youthful adults high on Mexican grass I knew how to charm them, even then. I saw a big ugly man smoking and trying to get my 13 yr old sister to smoke something he was smoking so I went over and confronted him. "Smoking is bad for you!" I said, the crowd laughing at my verbal attack, "Go fuck yourself you little shit" came the response. I cried and ran away and Oliver Stone carried on smoking drugs. (He was out there filming scenes/pick-ups for Platoon.)
( theWooinator, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:30, Reply)

Royal Claim to Fame
Whilst I was at Uni, the Physics and Engineering block was opened by the Queen and as part of her tour of the facilities, we had to be all smart and clever and do experiments so that she could wander around and ask daft questions. Anyway, I'd been smoking a little that morning and lo and behold her Madge comes over to me and asks me to explain what I'm doing. "Fuck" I think to myself, "I don't bloody understand this shit, I'm a first year", anyway I opened my mouth and suddenly this arcane knowledge of Astro-physics starts spouting out of my food hole. "I'm doing an experiment to measure the speed of Quasars" says I, impressed with my ability to talk shit at a moments notice. "How lovely" says her Madge, then the bombshell... "What is a Quasar?" Shit... not even Steven Hawking could answer this one without some serious bovine excretia. But my mouth starts moving, I don't remember what I said, I only know that my Professor is looking impressed and I don't know how to stop, but I do remember that after about 5 minutes her Madge is looking like she needs a piss and her lady in waiting, who I'm convinced is a secret agent is looking at me like she's going to blow her cover and rip my head off if I don't shut up. Anyway, the upshot is that Cardiff Uni has a photo of her Madge looking bored, me looking like a right twat and a large Alsation being rather too interested in my trousers, which luckily had nothing other than me in them at the time. So the upshot of my tale? The Queen still knows fuck all about Quasars, I'm probably on some sort of government list somewhere. The moral? When the Queen asks you a question you don't know the answer to just smile and nod and say "Your Majesty" alot and try not to talk as much shit as I did.
(Akhaal, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:28, Reply)

there's
quite a prominent picture of me on the inside sleeve of a morbid angel live album..
..and I once wrote a couple of chapters for a friends of ed book
( techierob, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:26, Reply)

Sniff Sniff
I once told Alex Higgins to fuck off. I was working in Sock Shop in Euston Station and he came in, looking like 10 kinds of shite and asked - with very little pleasantry - ''av ya got any black socks in the sale'. I politely told him 'No, only blue or red'.

'What the fuck! Call yersell the fickin Sock Shop slur slur'

He had a point.

But there wasn't going to be any swearing in my branch of Eustons answer to anne summers

'If you swear again I'll call security' I retorted.

'What the Fuck! Do you know who I fuckin am?!' he bumbled
'No, but I know who you were, now fuck off before I call the police!'

He left - hollering

Cunt
(saltydogstar, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:22, Reply)

Roy Cropper
We had Roy Cropper come all the way from 'Weatherfield' to our school fate just to sign autographs for 50p... I wasn't in the queue.

I also had an elbow in the Queens speech when I was at school and she came to visit but was not allowed to talk to me as I was Catholic and it would be seen to be politically incorrect, but got Phillip instead... what a prat.

I also went to school with that girl from eastenders.... mikes sister, had such an impact I can't remember her name.
(LittleMissChatty, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 10:03, Reply)

During World War II my granddad accidentally took a wrong turn in his Jeep and ended up liberating Holland. True story.

The Nazis had occupied a small town to use as their base of operations. One day granddad shows up when the Nazis are away and everyone runs into the streets cheering. Thinking that the whole army has arrived.

Ze Germans hear about British troops occupying the town, so they never come back.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:55, Reply)

famous ex-pupils from my school (increasing in tenuousness, if that's a word)

Mick Jagger - fairly famous i think you'll agree....

Min Patel - kent and england cricketer (he only ever played for england a couple of times back in the day when anyone got a game....)

The bloke who invented teletext (can't remember his name, but he worked for Philips and they did the business, and football fans around the country rejoiced!)
(blurred, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:51, Reply)

football career hopes dashed
I was scouted by Arsenal when i was a wee nipper (about 9 or 10). still have the letter, but nothing came of it. probably because im not french....
(blurred, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:49, Reply)

My parents are aliens
The young girl that was in My Parents Are Aliens goes to my old school, oh how we took the piss out of her.
(Willis86, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:48, Reply)

really wild
I once met Howie from the Really Wild Show while loitering at a school fete. He asked me if I was going to see his panto later and being a horribly cynical 13 year old I laughed in his loveable face. At the time it felt great! Now I feel awful, and slightly responsible for his disappearance..
(griffster, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:45, Reply)

This is particularly tenuous and awful
but my Dad was in the same class at school as Alvin Stardust.
(badgertastic badgers are people too, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:42, Reply)

Gavin Henson
You know that bloke that shoved your frucking chariots up your arse three weeks ago? He was in my class in school.
( ma0sm, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:42, Reply)

my mum went to school with gregor fisher
aka rab c. nesbitt
she played the lead opposite him on a couple of the school plays
~Brenna
(whatsinaname, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:42, Reply)

Back in the day
I was featured in the B3TA newsletter, before it sold out to ebay.
( krang, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:41, Reply)

The Guitarist of Catatonia
used to teach me Welsh in school. Next thing you know, he's on the sick, suffers a nervous breakdown, then BAM!

Top Of The Pops, Mulder and Scully.

What was he thinking!? Pam Mr Powell duw!?
( ma0sm, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:40, Reply)

Years ago, back when Feeder were semi-decent
My brother and I decided to go to one of their signing sessions in Cardiff promoting the release of their second album. After the signing, I lacquered the signatures for preservation purposes (how was I to know they'd end up releasing absolute wank music in the future?) but my brother just left his exposed to the elements on the front of his guitar.

Due to the gentle rubbing motion of his arm against the guitar, over the months, one of the sinatures started to fade until all that was left was the faintest of signatures from Jon Lee. Shortly after he commited suicide! I suppose it leaves room for him to get it resigned by the old Little Angels / Skunk Anansie drummer now (what's he doing making music with those other two!?).

I also got my bass signed by the Manic Street Preachers circa "This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours" so unfortunately, a similar story can't be told of Richey and my family's voodoo prowess.
( ma0sm, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:38, Reply)

My Mams
Cousin is Mike Flowers
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:32, Reply)

Hmmm.
Ok then, I used to go out with Mike Rutherford's (Mike out of Genesis and Mike and the Mechanics) niece.

If that's not crap enough, I also used to live next door to the grandparents of the kid who played Damien in the first Omen film.

Great stuff I'm sure you'll agree.

...and it's not me, but if it was I would be so, so proud: a lad I went to school with while hammered at Uni tried to 'sing the Countdown theme tune' to Richard Whiteley (who was visiting to give a talk of some sort), then puked on his feet. Genius!
( Button Man ...a right bottom feeder., Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:30, Reply)

Ian MacKaye, Stephen Malkmus & Andrew Bird (on seperate occasions)
of Fugazi, Pavement and just general fantasticness respectively. Admittedly they may not fit into the celebrity A-lists, but I personally feel more honoured to have met and had a chat with these three than I would meeting the Queen!

I'm going to see the magnificent Ted Leo live tomorrow night in Camden so add him to the list too.
( ma0sm, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:29, Reply)

ooh - crapness
where do I start? I've...
appeared as an extra in hollyoaks and brookie loads of times
met Jon Pertwee dressed up as Worzel Gummidge at the International Garden Festival in Liverpool in 1984
met the guy who played Mr Bronson in Grange Hill
been out with Catherine Zeta-Jones' cousin (before I realised I was gay...)

ooh - Lord of the Pies just said he went to school with C Z-J's cousin. Was it the same girl? On the Isle of Wight?

And...
one of my good friends presents Newsround on the CBBC channel
my Mum went to Sean Connery's first wedding, as she went to Ipswich Girls' Grammar with her (in Ipswich, Queensland)
my boyfriend's friend's stepdad is the German officer in "the Last Crusade" who is beating Harrison Ford and shouts "I will take ze Diary! It is in your pocket!"

Edit: ooh forgot these ones
I was on moviewatch once. Had to watch The Postman, which was fucking awful.
And I went to college with Ros Pike, who played Miranda Frost in Die Another Day
and I've met the PM and Ministers and MPs loads of time. But that doesn't count, because it was my job.
(pcloon, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 9:17, Reply)